by Doc Watto
‘Look, there’s Benny’ cried Infinity happily, reassured by the friendly vision of someone she knew but still desperately hoping Orrick would show up. Sure enough he did. She saw him waiting in the Warp-worm. When the Warp-worm left, Orrick was alone.
Infinity drifted down to him motionless in the spot where the Warp-worm had been. Without saying anything, she smiled affectionately and fondly took Orrick’s hand. Slowly he raised his browbeaten eyes to meet hers. But before anything meaningful could happen, there was an interruption to this moment of tenderness.
A Suction Sponge is a jellyfish-like creature with hundreds of short and curly tentacles. Each tentacle has a suction cuff on the end allowing the Suction Sponge to grip onto species higher on the food chain. It survives by clinging on until the host species is under threat, at which time it moves on to the threatening species. Unlike most parasites, a Suction Sponge is big.
‘Beware! There is a Spineless Stank!’ screamed Flobwobble in terror, interrupting a moment of tenderness between Infinity and Orrick.
The Spineless Stank is the most potent creature on Fuglia if not the galaxy, not because of its strength but because of its smell. One whiff causes instant death. It is tiny but deadly.
‘Sorry, false alarm,’ said a relieved Flobwobble, ‘luckily the Spineless Stank is covered by a Suction Sponge.’
Infinity was panic-stricken. ‘Are we safe?’ she asked imploringly, ‘because smell is replicated in a planetary and everyone knows the lethal effects of a Spineless Stank!’
Flobwobble reassured Infinity, ‘Oh we are perfectly safe; a Suction Sponge is concealing the odour - completely.’
‘And also concealing the Spineless Stank,’ said Orrick, ‘what exactly does a Spineless Stank look like?’
‘Not much to see really; basically it looks like a fish head,’ said Flobwobble, ‘the sort you would see at any fish market, except that this one wears Groucho Marx glasses and has a funny little moustache.’
‘Why?’ asked Orrick, ‘why does it try to look like a fool?’
‘To strike fear into its foes. Like the tail of a rattlesnake; the frill of a lizard; or the haka of an all-black,’ answered Flobwobble.
Infinity whispered to Orrick with a sideways glance at Flobwobble, ‘He may be right about the Suction Sponge, but I would rather not take any chances. We should get out of here.’
Quickly coasting to the observation deck and diving into a magnetic vacuum, Infinity and Orrick landed in a carpuck, the seat moulding itself perfectly to encompass the two of them.
‘Where to now?’ asked Orrick. Tongue-in-cheek and recalling an earlier conversation between Infinity and Flatterfly, he enquired, ‘how about Noko?’
‘Noko? Never heard of it,’ Infinity replied with a wry smile, ‘next stop is Earth.’
Chapter 4 - Earth
The Earth globe had no visitors and no spruiker. It was deserted except for the solitary figures of Infinity and Orrick on the observation deck. Infinity spoke, the echo of her voice rebounding around the shell of the empty chamber.
‘What a wonderful sight,’ she said starry eyed, gazing intently at the image of the beautiful blue planetary at the centre of the globe, ‘I can almost understand why you guys want to keep it all to yourselves. Let’s take a closer look’.
Infinity held out her hand to Orrick and together they hurled themselves into Zip-G. Floating through space and into the Earth’s atmosphere, they past a satellite in the thermosphere; some abandoned 1950’s space junk burning up on re-entry in the mesosphere and a high-flying passenger jetliner in the lower stratosphere. Darting through the eye of a storm in the troposphere and into clear blue skies over the Pacific Ocean, they twisted and somersaulted in sheer delight before diving into the Great Barrier Reef. Surrounded by colourful coral and completely carefree, they mimicked the swimming styles of sea-life around them; flowing arms for the manta ray; puckered mouths for the clown fish; and dangling legs for the octopus. Streamlining into dolphin shapes, they hurtled themselves in and out of open water.
Infinity leapt into the sky and Orrick followed. Flying high, they zoomed toward South America. She pointed toward a condor soaring majestically over the Andean mountains. Extending their arms like birds of prey, they swooped down into the jungle below and landed in a tall tree.
‘Welcome home, a friend of yours?’ Infinity asked with raised eyebrows and a smile.
Another sloth was hanging upside down from a branch, motionless. Infinity turned herself upside down in parody and perfectly still, she began to snore.
‘Very funny’, said Orrick, wearing his perpetual grin. At that moment, his eyes were drawn beyond Infinity toward the sleeping sloth.
‘Watch out!’ shouted Orrick, suddenly frightened.
Infinity was startled. Quickly she turned around to see a jaguar climbing the trunk of the tree. The upside-down sloth didn’t have a chance and was taken by the jaguar in a flash.
Orrick trembled in fear. Infinity reached out and held him close to her; ‘Don’t worry. The jaguar can’t hurt us. We are spectators merely watching what has already happened. We can’t change anything here and nothing can harm us either. We are perfectly safe in the globe.’
Orrick released himself, roamed and tried to make sense of it all. Infinity followed, allowing him time to ponder as he wandered outward and eastward. Over Asia, the peace was broken abruptly by the supersonic boom of two F4 Phantom jets roaring past them. Banking and turning, the phantoms made their bombing run setting the Vietnamese jungle ablaze with a line of explosions.
‘Orrick, we should go in another direction,’ Infinity said with concern, ‘this is not much fun.’
Traumatised but entranced by the noise and fury of the fireworks below, Orrick ignored Infinity and descended into the midst of the battle scene. Thick smoke obscured all vision like fog. Brilliant flashes of fire revealed ghost-like figures for a few seconds, who were suddenly no more. Airwaves were dominated by the sound of rattling M16’s and exploding mortar shells; any gap in between was filled with the mortifying cries of men, women, children and countless species of wildlife.
Orrick was motionless; this time in disbelief instead of habit. Infinity led him away, ascending into wide, open spaces. Silence was serene as they swept over seas, forests, plains and canyons. The peace was disturbed when they floated into the west coast of the USA. Again, smoke filled the air with a sort of herbal smell. Airwaves were filled with the sound of electric guitars, drums and the harmonies of men, women and children; as well as the occasional sounds of wildlife, usually whales.
‘This is more like it,’ said Infinity, soothed and at peace, ‘Monterey.’
Infinity and Orrick swayed and danced as they floated over the free-love music festival with people taking their clothes off. Orrick shed his spacesuit, which had always felt uncomfortable and unnatural.
Sweeping across the states with an eagle eye on Route 66, they arrived on the east-coast and zoomed-in on Cape Canaveral. An Apollo mission was about to lift-off with the space-craft on the launch pad and the astronaut being strapped in. Orrick hovered into the command module for a closer look at the astronaut. Inquisitively he stared before stating emphatically;
‘That’s me!
‘Yes, the astronaut is you’, said Infinity.
‘I’ve got to stop them!’ cried Orrick, now beginning to recall his fate amidst a kaleidoscope of visions within his mind. Desperately he swept into the control room with Infinity in hot pursuit.
‘It’s just a replay - you can’t change anything,’ she appealed in vain.
Lift-off! The explosive power of the Saturn V rocket propelled the Apollo spacecraft into the upper atmosphere, smoothly and without a hitch until several minutes into the flight.
Orrick reached Mission Control too late to change anything even if he could. Now resigned to his destiny, he observed events unfold in omniscience with Infinity by his side.
Chapter 5 - Mission Control
/> During the Apollo launch, Mission Control was harmonious like a finely tuned orchestra; but now the symphony was unravelling into a cacophony. Perplexed flight controllers muttered words that combined in chorus to reach a crescendo seemingly saying ‘what the …?’
From his elevated position in the control room, Shanks, the Flight Director, peered down to see rows of flight controllers shaking their heads at computer monitors. Something had gone wrong. The computer monitors were displaying indecipherable data. Cinema size screens around the room were following the trajectory of the spacecraft; and it was horribly out of control. Shanks knew he had to act quickly and decisively.
‘Cut the live feed!’ he demanded to the press officer standing nearby. The press officer acted immediately.
Millions of TV screens worldwide were suddenly blank as the pin was pulled on network transmissions. It was 1967 and the live broadcast of this Apollo mission was fraught with danger so soon after the catastrophic events earlier that year. Cautious heads like Shanks, with similar crew-cut hair and square-line jaws, had sought to keep this mission out of the public spotlight but to no avail. The nation and the world were in the grip of moon-mania and the leaders were committed to landing a man on the moon before the Soviets or the end of the decade, whichever came first.
Shanks murmured to himself in half-hearted reassurance; ‘Thank God this time there are no men on board.’
The press officer overheard. Unsure if he was supposed to respond, he did anyway; ‘Yes sir … and thankfully no apes either.’
Shanks turned and stared at him with a look of bemusement combined with indignation. The press officer turned awkwardly in Shanks direction, stuttering nervously to explain himself;
‘I mean, it was a wise decision not to send a chimpanzee instead of a man ... because the public have grown rather fond of chimps these days. ‘
After a few moments of pained silence, the press officer attempted to explain himself further;
‘Fortunately, the only creature on board is a sloth.’
Shanks turned to the press officer indignantly; ‘And what do the public think about sloths?’
‘Well sir,’ replied the press officer with renewed confidence, ‘sloths have a poor reputation as being hairy layabouts and public opinion polls rate them only slightly higher than hippies.’
Shanks was dismissive of the press Officers obsession with polling at such a critical time of crisis and decided to ignore him, murmuring to himself;
‘Well then, perhaps we should have sent a hippy instead of a sloth. At least they are used to being in outer-space.’
Chapter 6 - Moon
Infinity tapped Orrick on the shoulder and gestured for him to follow her. The moon was peaceful when they arrived. Minutes earlier, there had been a sudden disturbance as the Apollo command module pounded into the powdery surface. The collision was minuscule in nature compared to the battering the lunar landscape had endured from cosmic collisions in the past. Now the wreckage of the Apollo mission was nestled in a tiny crater of its own.
Above the moon, Orrick and Infinity hovered in Zip-G while antennas and other parts dismembered on impact drifted beyond them into worlds unknown. Still, the body of the command module was in one piece. It had tumbled over several times before becoming embedded deep in moon-rock, upside-down in the rocky terrain. Inside Orrick, the clothed version from a slightly earlier time, was finding it difficult to sleep. First there was the cartwheeling crash landing and now asphyxiation. Oxygen was disappearing through the broken port-hole. Breathing was becoming more difficult. Gasping for air, he began kicking and pounding the walls. A sloth could be extremely active if struggling for life.
A flying saucer landed on the moon piloted by two little green men. One of them hopped out, accompanied by a woman twice their size. Watching from above, Infinity saw herself, smiled and said to Orrick; ‘On Hoolia, women are much taller than men.’
Orrick grinned politely but felt odd because he was bearing witness to events in his own life that he had no memory of. The replay continued. Inside the Apollo moon wreck, Orrick had become still. Outside there was frantic activity as the Hooliens used lasers to cut through the metal exterior of the capsule.
‘Breathe now, c’mon, deep breaths, you can do it,’ begged Infinity, strapping an oxygen mask over Orrick.
Orrick was alive but dead to the world. Asleep, the sloth was thankfully oblivious to the concussion, shock and amnesia caused by the crash. Infinity carried him to the Warp-warm which had just arrived. An orange glow appeared as the door opened.
Benny the robot stood about face as he spoke to his disgruntled group of passengers; ‘Now I apologise for this detour from the normal route,’ he said, ‘but a distress call was received on this site and in accordance with the rules of space travel we are bound to assist.’
Turning around, Benny now saw Infinity standing in the doorway of the Warp-warm. ‘Infinity. Long-time no see,’ he said to her, ‘who’s your friend?’
‘He is a refugee from Earth,’ replied Infinity, somewhat defiantly.
The passengers were appalled.
‘Earth? That planet is strange,’ cried Cringe, an alien with a huge head perched upon a spring coil, ‘anything from Earth is odd.’
‘Are we safe?’ asked Frumpy, a one-eyed alien with many mouths, ‘I have heard that Earthlings eat their first born.’
Another alien extended his ears as though they were arms and waved them in disgust.
‘They live in such a closed society, never venturing beyond their own narrow little world,’ he protested, ‘I am the Prince of Prance, but do you think anyone on Earth knows who I am?’
‘You are the Prince of Prance and do you think anyone in the galaxy cares?’ winced Whingie, an argumentative alien with scaly skin and sunken eyes.
Prance was perturbed, ‘Why I have never heard such insolence ...’
Benny interrupted politely before closing the doors; ‘Excuse me please, can we all calm down and enjoy the rest of the journey to the Intragalactic Expo.’
Infinity and Orrick watched in real-time as the virtual images of themselves disappeared on the Warp-worm. Soon after, Benny would begin the well-worn introductory address for his passengers; ‘Folks, shortly we will arrive at the Intragalactic Expo. Situated at the centre of the Milky Way, this jewel in the crown at the heart of our galaxy was established with a mission to advance the principles of peace and harmony through intragalactic travel. For over two millennia, the Intragalactic Expo has promoted tourism between willing civilisations.’
Meanwhile on the moon, the real-life Infinity and Orrick looked-on as the Hoolien flying saucer departed soon after the Warp-worm had disappeared. The lunar surface again resembled a sea of tranquillity. In complete silence, the two of them coasted back to the observation deck.
Orrick stared into simulated space at the Earth planetary. Infinity wanted to speak but detected that Orrick might say something first and bit her tongue several times to restrain herself.
Finally Orrick spoke softly and sincerely, ‘You rescued me from the moon wreck. You saved my life. Thank you.’
Infinity acknowledged his gratitude briefly with a short nod before stating, ‘Right then, now there is something you can do for me.’
Orrick turned quizzically toward Infinity, who was now gazing into open space. After a slight pause and deep breath she elaborated;
‘Let me explain. In the early part of your twentieth century, antennas on Hoolia began receiving radio waves from Earth. Those were the first signals from your planet but they portrayed a world engulfed in war and devastation. No attempt was made by IGEA, the “Intragalactic Expo Authority”, to engage in communication with Earth until there was evidence of change. After all, a planet can only be part of the Intragalactic Expo if it is a willing subscriber to the advancement of peace, harmony and tourism throughout the galaxy. Then about twenty years ago, our antennas began picking up signs to suggest that times are changing on Earth. A War
p-worm was built on your moon at the time and a globe constructed here at the expo in preparation for contact. But since then, Earth has descended further into conflict. We just saw it in the planetary. It seems your planet cannot adhere to the principles of the Intragalactic Expo. IGEA will never consider contact under such circumstances and nobody would ever go there anyway with Earth’s reputation as a hostile world.’
Infinity seemed tense, so Orrick was tentative when asking, ‘What can I do about it? I mean, what exactly do you want from me?’
Infinity’s mood shifted to optimistic excitement; ‘You can help me! You can help all of us! You‘re the first Earthling to venture beyond your planet into another world. And you‘re the first being from Earth that any visitor to the Intragalactic Expo will have ever met. Once the visitors see how fun, friendly and fit, …, well fun and friendly you are; and when you show them how beautiful your planet is, they will insist on seeing Earth. I have already started a petition to present to IGEA. We want them to make contact, build a Warp-worm on Earth and open it up to tourism.’
‘So you want me to be a spruiker for Earth … here, in this globe?’ Orrick asked quietly, reading between the lines of what she had just said.
‘Yes, I want you to sell Earth to the rest of the galaxy, all it’s wonder, beauty, music, film, art, culture and diversity. But most of all its laid-back lifestyle.’
‘Laid-back life style?’ enquired Orrick somewhat bemused, considering all he had just seen in the planetary.
‘Yes, laid-back lifestyle. Look at you. You’re relaxed!’ she insisted.
‘But I’m a sloth,’ he replied with an inadvertent yawn, ‘that’s just how I am.’
Infinity’s voice became laced with sadness; ‘And you don’t know how lucky you are. Everyone on my planet is pushed to breaking point. Hoolia is over-populated, polluted and corrupt. It has always been a planet under pressure trying to compete in an uncompromising corner of the galaxy. For Hooliens, the stress of daily life seemed relentless. That was until twenty years ago, when the next generation of radio waves from Earth were received. Since then, a whole new world of pop music, art and television has entered our lives, offering temporary relief from anxiety. Everything Earthly has become heavenly to us. Hoolien flying saucers have been observing Earth for decades and a freeway was established to cater for the heavy volume of traffic between Hoolia and the outskirts of Earth, your moon.’
