Trump fans their fears and they love him for it. “He says what I’m thinking,” many followers said. Pilkington described how the rallies were a place where they could commune, a kind of love fest of hate. They are also critical for keeping Trump stoked. “The rally is his charging station, the place he goes to refuel his ego and his zealotry,” Pilkington writes. They are massive indoctrination sessions for both him and his followers in the Cult of Trump. Some of them are so fervent that there is nothing they wouldn’t do to maintain their membership. One such member, Steve Spaeth, told Pilkington a story about how far he would go. “The other day he talked to his sister who is liberal and votes Democratic,” Pilkington writes. “He said to her: ‘If there is a civil war in this country and you were on the wrong side, I would have no problem shooting you in the face.’ You must be joking, I say. ‘No I am not. I love my sister, we get on great. But she has to know how passionate I am about our president.’ ”63
CHAPTER NINE How to Undo Mind Control
Michael Cohen—Trump’s former personal attorney and back-room fixer—appeared before the House Oversight and Reform Committee on February 27, 2019, looking tired, chastened, and bewildered. He had lied, cheated, threatened, and bullied; he had committed fraud and perjury—all on behalf of his former boss. Now he was going to prison. “Sitting here today, it seems unbelievable that I was so mesmerized by Donald Trump that I was willing to do things for him that I knew were absolutely wrong,” Cohen said. Though some questioned Cohen’s motives in coming clean, arguing that he was spilling dirt on Trump, or even making up stories, to save his own skin, I saw it differently. He reminded me of myself after I left the Moonies—and of countless other former members of high-demand groups and relationships who had to grapple with the reality of their involvement. Cohen would later refer to his relationship with Trump as “something akin to a cult.”1
It is a devastating moment to realize that you have given your life to a false leader, prophet, or messiah. For me, that moment came on the fifth day of my deprogramming, when I was shown a speech that Moon had delivered to a room of politicians in 1974. The media at the time had been filled with reports that the Moonies brainwashed people. In the speech, Moon talked about how much he respected Americans and thought they were much too smart to be brainwashed. And yet, while I was in the cult, I had heard Moon talk endlessly about how Americans’ brains were dirty and needed “heavenly brainwashing,” and how he had no respect for Americans. Koreans were God’s chosen people. I had my first conscious negative thought in more than two years: Moon was a liar. If he had lied, then he could not possibly be trustworthy, let alone be the messiah. My Moonie mindset split open—I had a snapping (sudden awakening) experience and my mind flooded with suppressed doubts. I realized that my deprogrammers, who told me I had been brainwashed by Moon, were right. I realized that I had been mind-controlled by a right-wing authoritarian cult that wanted to take over the world, and that I myself had become a fascist who would have obeyed any order from my superiors, including breaking the law.
It was a long road back to my old self after that. As I’ve written, the goal of the indoctrination process is to suppress a person’s authentic self with a pseudo- or cult self, one that is dependent on and obedient to the leader. Even after my realization, my cult identity kept fighting my real self. Add to that the embarrassment and shame that I felt for having betrayed my family, religion, and country. I had to do a lot of researching and processing. Talking with ex-members of other destructive cults like Scientology, the Children of God, and the Hare Krishnas helped a lot as I could see so many parallels in the psychology of undue influence.
On the face of it, the situation with the Cult of Trump might seem easier. The evidence of Trump’s lies is all around us. Yet they are being countered, covered up, and completely turned around by Trump and those who surround him, including the former White House press secretary, the Republican leadership, the right wing media apparatus, and a huge Christian right propaganda machine that excuses Trump’s habit of lying as the foible of a man chosen to carry out God’s plan.
Given the contours of Trump’s world—where scientific evidence is often discounted and alternative facts are taken seriously—the question arises: How can anyone wake up from the Cult of Trump? The situation might seem hopeless at first—that is often the reaction when it comes to the prospect of freeing a cult member. I have worked with hundreds of families seeking to rescue a loved one from a group. None of them are easy—many are incredibly difficult. There are always huge challenges to helping a person wake up. With a political leader like Trump, who has the support of a huge web of powerful organizations, people, and resources, that is especially true.
One of the first steps in helping someone break free is to separate them from the abusive group or person. I had a broken leg, which allowed my parents to sequester me; Michael Cohen was in New York City, separated from Trump and spending time with his family, including his father, a Holocaust survivor and an important influence. Frank Senko, the subject of the documentary The Brainwashing of My Dad, was bed-ridden, which allowed his family to remove his access to right-wing TV and radio. In my practice, I’ve helped to creatively engineer all kinds of physical separations—bringing a cult member home for a holiday, family celebration, or even a funeral. It might seem manipulative, but it is a critical first step to helping a person free themselves from the clutches of a cult—one that has become increasingly difficult with 24/7 access to the internet through smartphones. In the case of Trump, there are also the continual tweets and right-wing and Christian right programming through radio and television. The relentless programming streaming from both ends of the political spectrum is pushing supporters ever deeper into Trump country.
This brings me to an important point and a key aspect of my approach. By attacking or belittling Trump’s followers, political opponents and traditional media may be helping Trump to maintain his influence over his base. In my experience, telling a person that they are brainwashed, that they are in a cult, or that they are following a false god, is doomed to fail. It puts them immediately on the defensive, confirms you are a threat, possibly an enemy, and reinforces their indoctrination. It closes their mind to other perspectives. I’ve seen this happen over and over again. It happened to me when I was in the Moon group. It immediately triggers a person’s mind control programming—including thought stopping and us-versus-them thinking, with you being the “them.”
A guiding principle of my approach is to act with respect, warmth, and integrity. I want the person I work with to feel that I genuinely care about them, and I do. That is first and foremost. After getting to know them better, I share my story of how I got interested in the subject of brainwashing, mind control, and cults. I then share stories of other situations and groups. I ask questions with a “curious, yet concerned” tone, allowing for long silences afterward. I want to encourage the person to think and hopefully draw comparisons to other high-demand groups. When presented with the bizarre beliefs and practices of a group like the Moonies, who believe that an overweight Korean billionaire arms dealer is the messiah, and Scientologists, who believe that humans are inhabited by extraterrestrial creatures, or body “thetans,” most people will agree that they are outlandish. When people learn that members are willing to commit their lives to these groups and to cut off from family and friends, and even do illegal acts, they usually shake their heads.
It is a step-by-step process. I help people realize the big picture and hopefully the parallels with their own group or situation will stand out for them. When the person is engaged in thinking it through, the cognitive dissonance or discrepancy becomes that much greater—they find it harder to maintain the weird beliefs that their group tells them are true.
I cannot overstate the impact of the digital world on the whole area of undue influence and mind control. People no longer need to be physically isolated to be indoctrinated by destructive cults. Digital technology has provided access
and a powerful set of tools for destructive groups and individuals to indoctrinate, control, and monitor believers day and night. When cult members go home for family visits, they are often receiving multiple texts every hour to keep them connected and faithful. Social media and tech platforms like Google, Facebook, Amazon, and Apple are collecting massive amounts of data on people. Much of this data is vulnerable to hacking or selling on the dark web—including to cults. Libertarian Trump supporter Peter Thiel owns a company named Palantir that has lucrative government intelligence contracts to do deep data mining on people. Law enforcement also uses their programs to dig up valuable information about private citizens who are of interest.2
When governments use high-tech companies to spy on their own people, they can find themselves on a slippery slope—running the risk of becoming like Russia or China. The flip side is that if a citizen becomes curious, there are many places to go for critical information—websites, Facebook pages, and Reddit groups. Of course, not all of these portals are reliable. Some may promote dangerously biased views. Critical thinking is vital.
My approach to helping people has had to evolve along with these new developments. Over the past decades, I have developed a customized, step-by-step ethical counterinfluence method that family or friends can use to help a loved one—including a member of the Cult of Trump. Here I will say that if a person is involved with NAR or an alt-right group, I would first focus on the mind control techniques used by that group before addressing the Cult of Trump. Here I might discuss Chinese thought reform programs currently operating to ensure loyalty to the dominant Han Chinese ideology.
The candidacy and election of Trump have deeply affected and even divided families and friends. Relationships with siblings, parents, children, aunts, uncles, best friends, and colleagues have been affected. The country as a whole has rarely been more polarized. If we are to heal these relationships, perhaps the best place to begin is with ourselves.
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF YOU WERE UNDER MIND CONTROL?
Cult members believe that they are completely in control of their own thoughts, feelings, and actions. That’s true of most, if not all, of us—we believe that we are in possession of our faculties, that we make our own decisions and choose our own path. Yet, as we have seen, we are all continually being influenced by our parents, friends, bosses, colleagues, government, and the media, both traditional and online. We all have an illusion of control. It’s part of being human. This raises the question: how would any of us—Trump supporters or critics—know if we were being unduly influenced? Here is a five-step formula for answering that question, one that requires an investment of time and energy, but that is quite powerful. I have geared this five-step experiment to a Trump supporter but anyone could benefit from it, no matter their political affiliation or group involvement.
Reality test: The first step is to take a break from your situation—disconnect from all sources of influence that could reinforce your current point of view. It might mean turning off your cell phone and laptop and unplugging from social media, television, and radio. People are often addicted to their phones and social media, so this is not an easy thing to suggest. If you are in a questionable group or relationship, you might take several days away from people in the group. If you are not in a formal group, take a time-out from those who share your ideology as well as from ideology-promoting texts, tapes, and videos. You need to make sure you are getting enough sleep—seven to nine hours, so you wake up refreshed and energized. (Some people need less sleep, others more—the point is waking up energized.) Exercise daily, including activities that increase your heart rate and flexibility, and eat healthily. Go for long walks in nature and find other ways to reset, restore, and rebalance yourself, independent of external influence. The goal is to be in touch with your authentic self by being in your body and connecting to an internal locus of control. Listen to your own thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams about what is important to you and what you want to do with your life.
Educate yourself: Read about social psychology, in particular mind control, and the models created by Robert Jay Lifton, Margaret Singer, along with my BITE model. Educate yourself about social influence techniques, propaganda, and logical fallacies. Libraries are great places. Hopefully this book has given you a good start. You also might contact responsible, ethical mental health professionals to help you.
Listen to critics and former believers: Seek out highly respected, credentialed, or experienced experts who hold views that differ from your own. Look for verifiable facts. The Mueller Report, though a daunting 448 pages long, is an important read, especially since Trump and Barr have stated their biased conclusions. Robert Mueller gave a brief but definitive statement before resigning from the Department of Justice, which is worth listening to or reading. If you are a Trump supporter and think Trump is a great leader, or even God-chosen, seek out the views of critics and evaluate dispassionately what they have to say. Listen to your inner voice as well as your conscience. When you hear trigger words like “fake news,” “deep state,” or “radical Democrats,” adopt a neutral attitude and use your critical abilities to sort through sources, check credentials, and look for supporting factual evidence. Ask probing questions like “Why is that?” or “Is that plausible?” Listen to what others have to say and reach your own conclusions based on research and evidence. Read books, newspapers, blogs, and magazines that run the gamut of political orientation, remembering always that facts do matter. When a leader or group makes extraordinary claims, demand extraordinary proof. The burden of proof is always on the leader or group to prove their claims. It’s not on us to disprove them. If Trump claims that he knows more than anyone else on a subject, fact-check his assertions. I have quoted several resources in this book including books written by David Cay Johnston, Bob Woodward, Malcolm Nance, and James Comey, to name just a few.
Self-reflect: Once you have taken a time-out, learned about mind control, and exposed yourself to opposing points of view, it is time to honestly self-reflect. Go back in time to before you came to adopt your current belief system. When was the first time you ever heard of Trump? Was it through tabloids or his reality TV show The Apprentice? What did you think of him then? How long did you watch—was it more than one season? Did you come to believe the persona portrayed on that show—that Trump was a successful billionaire businessman, an authority figure that people should learn from and emulate? Have you listened to former insiders who worked on the show who have talked about how they were told—through their acting, directing, and especially editing—to make Trump look good? Consider what they report. Were you influenced by a religious figure you respect who told you God wants Trump to be president? Are you on social media that promotes the notion that God is working with Trump?
Then, from a more neutral or objective perspective, trace step by step how you came to arrive at that your current point of view. Be honest with yourself. What captured your attention and made you take Trump seriously? Were you captivated by the fantasies, both positive—Make America Great Again—and negative, that America is being invaded? Did the swamp really get drained or was it filled by billionaires with agendas? What other claims and promises in ads or campaign rallies influenced you? Was the information distorted or withheld? Have you listened to Tony Schwartz, Trump’s ghostwriter on The Art of the Deal, speak about how he regrets fabricating Trump’s image as a successful businessman?3 I recommend Omarosa Manigault Newman’s book, Unhinged, which describes her waking up from the Cult of Trumpworld.
Ask questions: Would you knowingly give up your power to choose and blindly follow someone who demonstrably lies numerous times a day? If you could go back in time knowing what you now know, would you support a person with a documented history of false and exaggerated claims, lies, and scandals? Did you support Trump because you disliked Hillary Clinton? Was it because she wasn’t a Republican? Were there people who were persuasive or were there movies or ads that made you decide Clinton was unworthy, c
orrupt, unqualified, or even evil? Even if you know that you would never have voted for Clinton, knowing what you know now, would you still vote for Trump? Do you feel empowered to disagree with Trump in your own mind? With others in person? Online? Do you believe Trump’s claims that America will be overrun by terrorists and criminals if a wall is not built? Are your fears rational?
In a piece for The Forward, army veteran and former Trump supporter David Weissman describes how he was influenced to hate Clinton and support Trump. “I did not even think to research any of Clinton’s accomplishments as First Lady, Senator, or Secretary of State—like most conservatives, I just focused on her seemingly never ending ‘scandals.’ I was part of the ‘LOCK HER UP’ chorus, even though she was thoroughly investigated and cleared by the FBI. I did, and perhaps still do, feel Clinton’s leadership was lacking during and after the [2012] Benghazi attack, but many among the MAGA crowd blamed her personally for the resultant deaths, and I joined in,” Weissman writes. “Trump, on the other hand, was hailed as a friend of Israel and the Jewish people. Yet, unlike with Clinton, I looked only at Trump’s accomplishments, ignored his failures, and defended or even celebrated his bad behavior. Consequently, I put all my efforts into helping elect him.”4
Though my focus has been on Trump supporters, anyone could benefit from thorough self-reflection. Usually it’s the family and friends of cult members who go through the long, laborious process of helping someone undo the effects of mind control. By the time they come for help, they are highly motivated. When a loved one is recruited into a cult, the entire family system is affected. We have seen the polarization that the Trump presidency has caused—it has split apart families and communities and divided the country. Some of those fractures may have begun long before. As we have seen, many followers were members of other high-demand groups before pledging their allegiance to Trump. As the fractures grow deeper, there is a tendency to retreat into separate camps, and into hopelessness. We continue to blame and demonize the other side, sometimes to the point that we do not see them as human. Some Democrats have said that anyone who voted for Trump must be uneducated, stupid, or crazy. Trump supporters believe that Trump critics have been brainwashed by the liberal media. A recent study showed that 42 percent of people regard their political opponents as “downright evil.” Twenty percent believe that they “lack the traits to be considered fully human.”5
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