“Champion of the world, that’s a great title.” Gavin grinned. Gabby dropped a crayon under the table and crawled off her chair to retrieve it.
“So, do you and Jack work together?” Sabrina asked Gavin.
Jack blinked at her. “Who, us?” He flapped a hand between himself and Gavin. “No way anyone would trust me around all those deadly viruses. I’m just a desk jockey in my dad’s company.”
Sabrina smiled at the term. Jack was the opposite of a desk jockey, as far as she could tell. He radiated energy. “It’s wonderful you can carry on the family business. I’m sure that makes him proud.”
There was a pause and the sound of silverware against ceramic plates echoed around them. The smell of baked ham and corn was coming from the next table.
“We should be next.” Jack stood up, helping the girls tuck the crayons back in the small cardboard boxes. His voice was light but there was a tightness around his mouth that made Sabrina wonder if there was more to the family business than pride. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be anything close to her own family’s sordid past. Undocumented immigrants, a father who drank too much and an unwed mother for a sister who’d eventually wandered away—it didn’t get much uglier than that.
Jack helped Grandma Lili out of her chair and motioned for Sabrina to go ahead of him. Brushing by, she smelled fresh air and pine trees, and her heart contracted. When he’d hugged her at the door, she’d leaned into him like a woman who was desperate for affection. She hadn’t meant to, hadn’t planned on it, but as soon as he’d pulled her close, she’d sought refuge in his arms. As many times as she told herself she was strong enough to carry her burdens, a part of her knew she couldn’t do it all. The fiasco with the apartment manager had haunted her sleep, stealing her peace of mind. She felt drained, beaten, weary.
Sabrina bit her lip as their little group made its way to the cafeteria line. Jack was a compassionate and tender man, but he was only being a good friend. She needed to keep her heart in check. Being supportive and welcoming was just part of who Jack was and it didn’t mean anything more. If she was honest, she wanted it to be so much more than that. But men like Jack, from families like his, didn’t go for girls like her. And the way Marisol talked about his dating life, whomever he did fall in love with would be the cream of the crop. He certainly wasn’t hurting for romantic options.
She felt her lips tug up as Gabby and Kassey skipped toward the line, pigtails bouncing. Those two were all she needed. She would stay in the moment, celebrate Easter and treasure every minute she had with them. They were a gift to her and she was thankful, so thankful to be entrusted with them. Everything else was peripheral.
As Sabrina took her place behind her nieces in the cafeteria line, she breathed a prayer of thanksgiving. For the next few hours she would try to forget about their dire situation and enjoy their new friends. It might be okay as long as she kept her thoughts on the road ahead and not on what she couldn’t have. And one of those things was Jack Thorne.
Chapter Four
Jack bowed his head as Grant stood at the front of the cafeteria and led the group in a closing prayer. “Lord, we thank You for providing this meal from Your bounty. We ask Your blessing on this building, on all the residents, on our staff and most of all on our guests here today.” Grant looked up as Gabriel escaped Calista’s arms and toddled forward. The smile on Grant’s face was mirrored by the people around him.
“That kid has Grant wrapped around his finger,” Jack whispered as the mission’s director lifted his son into his arms. He couldn’t help laughing a bit as Gabriel reached out for the microphone and the last words of the prayer came in muffled bits.
“Amen,” Sabrina answered and lifted her head. She had both of her girls by the hand and there was a look of peace on her face. As soon as she caught Jack’s gaze, her lips tugged up.
It was the first time she had smiled at him that way, no shield, no worry. She looked so beautiful it made the breath stop in his lungs.
Gavin elbowed him. “Are you?”
“Am I what?” Jack hadn’t heard a word Gavin was saying.
“Headed out for the Easter egg hunt.” Gavin’s voice held an undercurrent of laughter. “Hey, did I ever tell you my theory about this place? There’s Jose. He’ll explain it all.” He waved an arm in the air and Jose changed direction from where he was headed toward the front of the cafeteria.
Evie was listening now, her gaze narrowing at her husband. “Oh, don’t tease him. And it’s not one hundred percent reliable.”
“What’s not reliable?” Jack asked. Grandma Lili was giggling and glancing at Sabrina. He felt as if everyone understood the joke except for him. And Sabrina, who looked from one to another with a puzzled expression.
“My theory isn’t one hundred percent proven. We still haven’t found anyone for Marisol.” Gavin was laughing outright now.
Jose came up to their table and Gavin stood to give him a one-armed hug. “How’s your wife and little boy?”
“Wonderful. And he’s getting really big. Almost three and thinks he runs the world.”
“We were just discussing the little problem at the mission,” Gavin said.
“Problem?” Jose’s face showed real concern and he glanced around the table. “Hi, Evie and Mrs. Sawyer. And a welcome to our guests. Nice to see you again, Sabrina.” He smiled at her and the girls.
“Gavin is teasing Jack about his theory.” She said the last words with extra emphasis.
Jack narrowed his eyes at the wide smile that crossed Jose’s face. He thought he knew where this was going.
“Oh, right. The mission’s little problem. Let’s just say it brings people together.” Jose glanced once more between Jack and Sabrina. He seemed to think something was very funny. “Let me know how it all works out. But I think I already know.” He waved as he headed back to the double doors.
“Can we go to the Easter egg hunt now?” Kassey tugged on Sabrina’s sleeve and her dark eyes were bright with excitement.
“Sure, honey.” Sabrina stood up, reaching for the dishes at their table.
“You go ahead. We’ll bring the dishes up and meet you over there.” Evie was already stacking plates.
“I’ll go with you,” Grandma Lili said. She slipped her arms into her sweater and leaned over to Kassey. “I helped pack those eggs. Go for the pink ones. I put quarters in them.”
Kassey’s eyes grew wide. “Really? We’ll be rich!”
“Well, let’s go, then.” Grandma Lili took them both by the hand and they headed for the far doors, open to the grassy square between the buildings. It was chilly, but the sun was strong for April. Sabrina followed, a smile touching her lips.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Jack turned to Gavin. “Cut out the talk about the mission’s problem. I know what you’re doing.”
Instead of looking chastened, Gavin gave him a punch to the shoulder. “I’m surprised you could concentrate enough to eat lunch. That girl has definitely caught your attention.”
“Every girl gets my attention, remember? I’m the serial dater. I never take anyone seriously.” Jack moved forks to a separate plate and reached for the knives.
“Right. Until now.” Evie leaned across the table and whispered, “It’s okay. You can tell us. We’re all friends.” Her laughter was barely contained.
Jack rolled his eyes. “I don’t understand why you’ve decided that she’s the one when I hardly even know the girl.”
“We didn’t decide anything,” Gavin said. “We only watched your face. It’s like the rest of the table didn’t exist.”
He frowned, stacking the last plates together. Jack didn’t want to be one of those guys who didn’t hear or see the rest of the world when a pretty girl was around. He’d always hated the tunnel vision that happened to people in love. Sure, he liked to
go out and have a good time, but it was never serious. And Jack suspected he had enough tunnel vision without involving a woman. He resented the fact he’d been forced into the family business, resented being given a top-notch education and resented being from a well-to-do family. Getting a good look at his own bad attitude had given him a shock. He was spoiled and now he knew it.
He followed Gavin and Evie to the dish area, thinking hard. He had a lot of work to do before he could think of bringing anyone else into his life. And one of the biggest tasks would be finally pulling his own weight at Colorado Supplements. No more half days or skipping work altogether if the snow was just right up on the mountain. As much as he wanted to get to know Sabrina better, for once he had bigger goals than fulfilling his own happiness.
* * *
“Did you hear, Tía? We’re going to be rich!” Gabby bounced up and down, her seven-year-old body humming with excitement.
“Not really. I mean, you can find some quarters and maybe we can get a gum ball from the machine.”
“Oh, let her dream.” Grandma Lili giggled and leaned down. “Remember, go for the pink ones.”
The two girls nodded, their gazes scanning the courtyard for telltale flashes of color. As Grant gave the signal, little kids rushed out to search through the bushes for plastic eggs.
Sabrina fought back a sigh. She remembered that excitement, thinking that life’s problems could be solved by a nickel found on the sidewalk or a dollar received in a birthday card. “I just don’t want them to have unrealistic expectations.”
Grandma Lili glanced at her. “It’s good to have hope.”
“But it’s not good to hope in something that can never come true.” She hated the hard sound of her own words, but sometimes the truth wasn’t pretty.
“Someone broke a lot of promises to you, I gather,” Grandma Lili said. Her voice was soft.
Sabrina looked out at the courtyard full of excited kids and felt her heart sink as the memories, never very far away, rushed back. It was true. It was hard to see her nieces searching for plastic eggs that would make them rich, because she had felt the same way. Every time her father had come home announcing he had a new job and their lives would be better, she’d felt that joyous hope. And every time he’d been fired for coming in drunk or fighting or being late, she had known crushing disappointment. Her mother would cry softly as she cooked dinner, usually something cheap and simple, and nobody would say a word. Sabrina never wanted her nieces to believe in the impossible. It could only lead to heartbreak. Instead, she would make sure they understood she would always do the best she could for them, but life wasn’t a fairy tale.
“I won’t lie to them,” Sabrina said.
Grandma Lili reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. “You’re a good mother.”
“Thank you, but they’re my nieces.”
“I know.” Tears sparkled at the corner of Grandma Lili’s light blue eyes. “And you’re a good mother.”
Surrounded on all sides by happy laughter and the mission’s guests, Sabrina felt her heart squeeze in her chest. It shouldn’t matter what anybody else thought of her. In fact, it had been a long time since she’d made an effort to get to know another person. Her life didn’t rotate around anybody else’s opinion of her life. Unless it was the judge who could give her custody of the girls.
But she couldn’t deny how good it felt to hear that compliment. She let out a breath. “I want to be a good mother, but I don’t really know how. I don’t have anyone to follow. I can only pray I’m not making the same mistakes my parents did.”
“You have any questions, you come to me. I raised a few children myself. It’s not an easy job and I don’t have all the answers, but we can have a cup of coffee and a good chat.”
Sabrina nodded, trying to speak past the lump in her throat. She’d always been the one trying to keep the family together. There had never been someone who would sit down with her and listen to her worries, her fears. For the first time since Rosa left, she felt as if she wasn’t completely alone. Her sister hadn’t been a good mom, but she had some good traits that Sabrina missed, such as always looking for the fun in every situation. “Thank you. Sometimes I miss talking to an adult.”
“Just in time,” a low voice said behind her. She knew who it was before she turned around. How much had he heard? The shame of admitting her insecurities and inadequacy made her face go hot.
“Didn’t Evie want to watch the festivities?” Grandma Lili asked.
Sabrina glanced behind her and saw Jack, alone. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he had a slight frown on his face. “They decided to help clean up the tables, but they sent me out to keep you company,” he said.
Sabrina tried to focus on something other than his perfectly handsome face. He seemed to squeeze the air from the space around them, even though he wasn’t standing very close. Maybe it was because he was so tall, or because of the somber expression in his eyes. She could tell he wasn’t happy about something. She let out a quiet breath. It wasn’t her problem if Jack wasn’t happy. She didn’t need to worry about making him feel comfortable. But a small part of her wished he would rather stand with her than be inside doing dishes.
“Oh, there’s Lorna!” Grandma Lili waved across the courtyard to a woman in a bright red jacket. She squeezed Sabrina’s shoulder and moved to let Jack in beside them. “Do you two mind...?”
“Of course not,” he said.
Grandma Lili slipped away, zigzagging around laughing parents who cheered little children as they held up brightly colored eggs.
A silence fell between them. The kids were gathering at the far end of the courtyard, where Calista was handing out a few more treats for each basket. “I hope Grandma Lili didn’t ask too many questions. She doesn’t mean any harm.” Jack stared out at the courtyard but his voice was quiet, just for her ears.
“No, she was fine.” Sabrina shifted, hating the strange nervous tension she felt whenever Jack was near. “I like her.” It sounded silly, but it was true. She liked her even though they had nothing in common.
“She always believes the best of people.” The breeze ruffled his dark hair and he put up a hand to smooth it down. “Gavin works harder than a lot of people, and I used to worry that he was going to work himself to death. She made sure he didn’t. She’s got a way of seeing a perspective we can’t, especially if we’re right in the middle of the situation.”
She nodded. Her father had been someone who avoided work at all costs, but her mother had worked until the day she died. Right up to the hour she had collapsed on the kitchen floor. Sabrina should have told her to slow down. But she’d been busy with her own teenage problems.
Another long silence stretched between them and Sabrina wished she were the chatty type. It was hard to stand near him and wonder what he was thinking. Of course it didn’t really matter.
“I’m glad you came today,” he said. “I mean, you and the girls. They look like they had a good time.”
“I’m glad we came, too.” She watched her nieces compare baskets of eggs as they made their way back across the crowded courtyard. She couldn’t help smiling at the glee on their faces.
“Tía! We’ve got two whole dollars! We can pay Mr. Snyder all the rent money he needed,” Kassey said, jumping up and down in her excitement.
“How did you—” Sabrina asked, her face flaming with sudden shame. It must sound as if they were behind on their rent.
“We heard you and Mrs. Guzman talking. We don’t want to move, Tía.” Gabby leaned her dark head against Sabrina’s side and hugged her tight.
Jack stood silently next to her. Sabrina smoothed Gabby’s long dark hair and didn’t look up. She couldn’t bear to see the expression on his face. She hated being pitied, hated how easy it was for rich people to be compassionate when it didn’t cost them anything. S
abrina gritted her teeth. She wanted to deny it all and pretend everything was fine, but that would break the promise she had made to these girls. She would always be honest, even when it hurt.
“Everything is going to be fine,” she said softly. It would be, one way or another. “Don’t worry about anything.”
“We won’t, because now we have money!” the older girl said, her smile as wide as could be.
Sabrina didn’t bother to correct them a second time. “We should be going.” She turned to Jack. “Do they need any help inside?”
He looked exactly as she imagined he would. His blue eyes were shadowed with concern, his lips a grim line. “No, I think everything is taken care of with the volunteers.” He paused, as if searching for the right words. “Sabrina, I don’t want to offend you, but if there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. Times are hard for a lot of people and you’re taking care of kids that aren’t your own. I really admire you for taking them on. I’d be happy to—”
“No, really, we’re fine.” Her tone was ice-cold, but she couldn’t find it within her to pretend he hadn’t offended her. “For the record, you don’t need to admire me. These girls are as much mine as they can be, in here.” She tapped her chest, holding his gaze. “As soon as the judge signs the papers that give me permanent custody, they’ll be mine in every other way, too.”
He started to say something, a look of dismay crossing his face. She didn’t give him a chance to go on. “Thank you again for the invitation.”
As they walked around the building toward the bus stop, Sabrina saw Evie wave and smile, as if she wanted her to come over and say goodbye. Sabrina gave her a stiff smile and kept walking. It had been a mistake to come for Easter. Even though the girls had had a wonderful time, and the food was delicious, she didn’t belong here. She had worked a few jobs at the mission, but she wasn’t part of the staff or a volunteer. The longer she hung out with these people, the more it would be obvious that she was closer to being a resident than an employee.
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