Enlightened

by Charlotte Michelle

  “Yes…and no…” I fight the urge to grind my teeth at the evasive answer.

  What does that even mean? We know him, yet we don’t? Perhaps I know him, yet Dallas doesn’t? Or vice versa?

  “Well, what does he look like?” My voice is soft, almost as if I am coaxing a frightened foal. Kyle lifts his head, his sky blue eyes penetrating my gaze as tears roll down his cheeks. The heart within my chest is squeezing, making it feel as if I will not live another moment, the pain in Kyle’s eyes is so intense.

  “I have to go,” he whispers, never meeting Dallas’s eyes. Does he feel ashamed because he cannot give us answers? Or does it pain him that much more, seeing the raw desperation upon Dallas’s features?

  I turn to look at Dallas, not wanting to watch Kyle evaporate from the backseat of the car, almost as if he was never there.

  Sometimes, I do wish it were all a dream. That I’d wake up with the knowledge that Kyle is dead, yet he has found his peace. That he isn’t stuck, waiting for us to find the answers.

  Guilt overwhelms me, no matter how much I try to justify this weekend with the fact that we’re still kids who deserve a good time.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Thanksgiving

  *Kayla*

  November 25, 2015

  Today is the first day of Thanksgiving break. It’s a much-needed break from the stress of school. Being a first semester senior is extremely stressful. College is riding on our grades and all our extracurricular activities. Since I’m not in any sports or clubs, my grades need to be superb. Dallas has nothing to worry about, now being on the Waubonsie basketball team once again. He’ll definitely get a scholarship to University of Illinois.

  I applied to Northern Illinois University and Illinois State University, along with a few colleges out of state, like Michigan. But I don’t necessarily want to leave Illinois. An in-state tuition is far more reasonable than an out of state.

  I’ve been accepted by both Northern and Illinois State. I haven’t heard back from Michigan yet. But I’m already leaning toward Illinois State. They have an excellent teaching program.

  Tutoring Kyle opened the door to teaching for me. I realized just how much I love helping kids with education, and I know I can make it fun, unlike most teachers.

  I pull on a pair of black yoga pants and a blue sweatshirt before I throw my hair up into a messy ponytail. When I look in the mirror, I scrunch my lips to the side at my mediocre appearance. I wear similar outfits every day. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve worn a sundress with a nice hairstyle.

  Turning, I look around my bedroom, biting my middle fingernail as I contemplate living on the edge.

  What would Dallas think?

  He’ll probably think he came to the wrong house.

  I smirk at the thought and walk to my closet, a pep to my step as I look at my clothes. I quickly grab a pair of black skinny jeans and then struggle between a floral blouse that hugs more at my mid-drift or a teal blouse that flares out from being gathered under my breasts.

  I rip the teal blouse off the hanger and quickly change into the outfit, blushing when I see the price tag still on the shirt. I am a horrible person, allowing my mother to buy me these nice clothes, but then I never wear them.

  After I have the jeans and shirt on, I pull on black knee-high boots that only have a half-inch heel. Deciding I need to do something with my hair, I take out my curling iron and put in large curls. I bend over and use hair spray to keep the hair styled perfectly, and when I flip it back up, I grin at how beautiful it looks.

  I barely recognize myself. It’s crazy what a few extra minutes and a little patience can do.

  It’s been a week and a half since the jet ski excursion. I’m not exactly sure what Dallas and I are. We’ve only ever kissed that one time. He does occasionally kiss my cheeks or the side of my head, but that doesn’t mean we’re dating, does it?

  Well, either way, he’s coming over to pick me up, so Tyler, Anne, he, and I can all go bowling. It was Anne’s idea, and naturally, Tyler agreed. Therefore, we were all tied into the double date.

  Mikey broke up with Shelby a few days ago, much to my displeasure. I really liked Shelby; she was becoming a good friend. I hope the break up doesn’t keep her from hanging with Anne and me.

  Heading downstairs, I see Katie sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal. Glancing at the clock, it reads 4:48 PM. What a weird time to be eating cereal…

  Katie’s eyes widen when she sees me, looking me up and down. “Moooom! Something happened to Kayla! Hurry!” I open my mouth to say something but am cut short with the thundering footsteps of my mom as she runs down the stairs, sliding into the kitchen. She looks around to find the problem, but her eyes settle on me, and her mouth falls open.

  “Oh my.” My mom covers her mouth with her fingers, a smile peeking out behind them. “Honey, you look beautiful. Is that the blouse I bought you last year?” I roll my eyes but smile at her compliment.

  “Yes. And thank you.” I walk over to hug her. “I won’t be home until about ten or eleven. Don’t wait up.” I give her a kiss on the cheek and then ruffle Katie’s hair, much to her displeasure as she works to fix it. I grab my purse and head for the front door, knowing Dallas will be here in less than a minute.

  He promised to be here at 4:50, and from past experiences, he is never late.

  “Oh wait, honey!” I spin around to raise my eyebrows at my mom. She walks over to me, crossing her arms over her chest. “I thought perhaps we could invite the Perkins over for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Would you mind asking Dallas, just to see if they don’t already have plans?” She tucks a piece of my curled hair behind my ear and smiles.

  It’s actually a really good idea. I never thought about inviting them over. It’s going to be the first Thanksgiving without Kyle, and I’m sure Mrs. Perkins isn’t in the mood to make a full course dinner with one less person.

  I nod and then kiss my mom’s cheek again before I open the door to see Dallas standing there, hand raised to knock. I smile and quickly exit the house, closing the door behind me.

  Dallas stares at me, his eyes slightly wide as he takes in my appearance. “Uh…” he mutters, biting his bottom lip before meeting my eyes. I almost laugh at his expression. “Am I at the wrong place?” he asks. This time, I do laugh.

  That is exactly how I predicted he’d react.

  Dallas smirks and reaches to grab my hand, pulling me close to his side to kiss my forehead. “You look beautiful, Kayla,” he whispers in my ear. Butterflies erupt in my belly, and I blush, looking away from him. I’m not good with compliments, mostly because I hardly ever got them with my usual attire.

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  “Are you ready to kick some serious Tyler ass?” Dallas leads me to his Jeep Wrangler, and I chuckle at his question. These boys really are competitive.

  Whatever happened to just playing for fun?

  “Oh yeah. Is it boys against girls? Or are we a team?” I ask once we’re buckled in and driving away. Dallas reaches for my hand again and gives it a gentle squeeze.

  “We’re a team. Of course.” I suck on my bottom lip to keep a grin from forming as I turn to look out the window to hide my pink cheeks. Does Dallas even know the affect he has on me? Just having him talk to me, I’m blushing half the time. I still can’t believe how far we’ve come.

  I hear Dallas chuckle softly and roll my eyes. He’s told me how adorable my shyness is to him. What an absurd thing to say. How could that be adorable? It’s extremely embarrassing.

  After a moment of silence and I’m able to collect myself, I turn to face Dallas. “Hrm…my mom wants you and your family to come over for Thanksgiving tomorrow. That is, if you want to and don’t have plans.”

  Dallas pulls up at a red light and strokes his chin, humming as if he’s seriously thinking this through. “Your mom wants this?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.

  Darn him. I blush fiercely and smile down at my lap
.

  “I want you to come too. I just meant it was her idea,” I whisper.

  “Ahhh…I see.” I peek at him through my hair to see him smiling as the light turns green. He continues driving and gives my hand another squeeze. “Of course I want to come. What can I bring? I was thinking of making apple pie with my mom. Is that good?” he asks, sparing a glance at me for only a second before he concentrates on the road.

  Did he really just accept my invitation?

  “You don’t have to bring anything, Dallas. We want to do this for your family,” I say. This time, I squeeze his hand. Dallas lifts it and presses a kiss to my knuckles.

  “Thank you, Kay.” The nickname brings a smile to my face, and luckily, we pull into the bowling alley parking lot, and I can distract myself to keep from blushing. Grabbing my purse, I hop out of the car and then walk around the front to meet Dallas. He instantly grabs my hand, and we walk together into the bowling alley.

  Anne and Tyler are at the counter picking out shoes when we reach them. They both turn to smile at us; however, Anne has a look of shock on her face.

  Here we go again.

  “Whoa. Holy hot, Kayla!” Anne exclaims, walking over to give me a hug. I laugh, rolling my eyes before I give Tyler a quick hug as well. “You look great!”

  “Thank you. Did you guys get the lane already?” Tyler nods and wraps an arm around Anne’s shoulders. “All right, well, next game we’re paying,” I tell them.

  “I’m paying,” Dallas interjects, arching an eyebrow at me to dare to contradict him. I just shake my head, trying not to smile. He’s a real gentleman sometimes.

  After getting our shoes and bowling balls, we all sit at the table where Tyler punches in all our names in the computer. I was secretly proud that neither Anne nor I asked to have the bumpers up.

  Proof that we are adults now.

  “You guys are going down,” Tyler challenges as he grabs his ball and goes to bowl.

  Dallas snorts as he leans back in his chair. “No way. Kayla and I are an indestructible team. We’ll demolish you.”

  We are a team.

  That is the second time he’s said it in the last thirty minutes. Does that mean…?

  Dallas and I ended up winning. He practically carried us through a landmine and No Man’s Land to win. The most points I got out of the two matches was 70. I don’t even know how it’s possible to be so bad at bowling.

  Today is Thanksgiving, and Dallas and his parents are coming over for dinner. I have never met his dad before, and I’m a little nervous to do so. It’s clear that he’s distant from his family. Is it going to be obvious? Will it be awkward?

  Dallas informed me that he’d be over at noon to help set up and make dinner. When I tried to deny him, he insisted and didn’t leave room for argument.

  It was kind of him; I didn’t expect him to want to help make dinner. He didn’t look like the type who slaved in the kitchen. Maybe there’s a lot I don’t know about Dallas.

  No, I know there is a lot.

  I decide to dress up again today, mostly because it’s a holiday and partially because Dallas will be here. I’m wearing a honeydew green sweater dress that meets at my mid-thigh with knee-high brown boots. I also accessorize with a long silver locket that my mom bought for me many years ago. It holds a picture of my dad. I then decided to straighten my hair and then pull half of it back, so my bangs aren’t in my face.

  Pleased with my appearance, I go downstairs to see my mom dressed in a long black dress with a belt at the waist. My sister is wearing a red dress with a bow at the back that is very flattering on her. I can tell she’ll get a lot of male appraisal in high school.

  “You look beautiful. Again,” Katie says, walking over to hug me, and I roll my eyes, glancing at the clock. Dallas will be here in ten minutes.

  We stayed out later than I anticipated, going to Steak N’ Shake afterward, where we hung out for another two hours. I didn’t get home until one in the morning. Luckily, my mom didn’t mind or wait up for me.

  Therefore, I slept in later than usual, waking up at ten. It’s the latest I’ve slept since summer.

  “Thank you. Mom, do you need any help?” I call out to the kitchen.

  “Yeah, you can get all the bowls and trivets out!” she hollers back to me. I walk into the kitchen and grab our nice glass bowls that we use whenever we have company. I set them on the kitchen counter next to the sink. I then grab three trivets from the drawer and carry them to the dining room table, where I lay them out.

  A knock sounds at the door, and I look at the clock. He’s early.

  “Come in!” I shout. I hear the door open and glance over my shoulder to see Dallas walk in, a bouquet of pink roses in his hand. He’s dressed in nice black slacks with a dark blue shirt tucked in. He has a blue striped tie on, and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows.

  He is pure perfection. I smile as he walks over to me, dips his head down, and gives me a quick peck. “Happy Thanksgiving,” Dallas says softly.

  “Happy Thanksgiving, Dallas.”

  “Where is your mom? I got her these flowers.” I point to the kitchen, and he leaves to go hand them to her.

  Pink flowers symbolize appreciation, grace…it’s a simple and meaningful way of saying thank you. My heart tugs at how thoughtful he is.

  I hear my mom thank Dallas in the kitchen.

  “No, no. Thank you. It was very generous of you to invite my family to have Thanksgiving with you. It means the world to my mom.” I grin, and then I hear a few pats and rustling.

  They’re hugging.

  I look over at Katie, who is smiling back at me. She shrugs her shoulders and then heads to the kitchen. “Happy Thanksgiving, Dallas!”

  It took us four hours to make everything, mostly because it all had to cook. We invited everyone to be over at three thirty, so we had a half hour of socializing before dinner would start.

  Dallas held my hand the majority of the night, especially tight when he introduced me to his father. I’m not sure if he was nervous or if it was a protective mechanism. I just know that Dallas isn’t particularly close with his father.

  I do have to admit; Jack Perkins is handsome. He’s well built, clearly keeping in shape since his basketball career. He has darker hair, but his eyes are just as blue as Dallas’s and Kyle’s. He is a carbon copy of Dallas, aside from the hair.

  Kyle was identical to his mother, apart from the different eye color. Mrs. Perkins has brown eyes.

  My mom is very social, as is Katie. Between the two of them, conversation flows easily. My mom is friends with Mrs. Perkins. They met at work and had a great talk about the subject. Apparently, it’s been stressful as of late. During the holidays, people get reckless and stupid. They take more drugs, drink and drive, go on more vacations…

  Mr. Perkins doesn’t really have much to say. I ask him what kind of work he does, and his answer is abrupt and brief. “I’m an accountant.” He doesn’t even lift his eyes to look at me. I am about to ask another question, but Dallas squeezes my hand, cutting me off.

  I look over at him, and he just gives me an apologetic smile and shakes his head.

  Dinner goes by smoothly. Dallas, Katie and I are able to keep ourselves entertained as we talk endlessly about various topics.

  Dessert is absolutely delicious.

  “This pie is to die for,” I whisper in Dallas’ ear. He chuckles and turns his head to kiss my cheek.

  “Thank you,” he whispers back.

  I look around the table. My mom is chatting with Mrs. Perkins, having a light conversation. Katie is devouring her apple pie. Mr. Perkins has his head bowed as he looks at his phone. Dallas is holding tight to my hand as I notice him glaring at his father.

  I am about to comfort him until I am interrupted.

  “Mom…” The voice is so soft and broken, it ignites a raw emotion within me. Whipping around, I look at Kyle standing there, his eyes fixated on his mother. Dallas drops his fork beside me, causing it to
clatter against the plate.

  “Kayla? Dallas? You all right?” my mom asks. I look over at her before I turn my eyes to Dallas. He opens his mouth but then shuts it.

  “Yes. I just need Dallas’s help with this assignment I totally forgot.” I stand, Dallas following suit as we back up to the stairs. “Is it all right if we go up? Yeah? Okay. Great meal.” I spin and nod to the stairs at Kyle, telling him to go.

  But he doesn’t move. He stands stock still, his eyes planted on his mother.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Tattoo

  *Kayla*

  November 26, 2015

  Water gathers in Kyle’s eyes as he stares at his mother, who is only sitting a few feet away from him. Small tremors shake through his body as he holds back sobs. I’ve never seen anything so heart wrenching in my life.

  A boy who so desperately wishes to be in his mother’s embrace once more, however impossible it may be. The truth has a cold and bitter sting.

  We have to get him upstairs. I don’t know how much time we have with him today, and Dallas and I can’t continue to stand at the bottom of the stairs. Our parents will begin to wonder.

  “Dallas, can you grab some printer paper?” I ask, pointing to the printer in the living room, which is across the hall from the stairs. Dallas spins on his heels, briskly walks over, and grabs all the paper in the printer. He holds his hand out as he walks back, as if silently asking if that is enough.

  The stack successfully hits Kyle in the head as Dallas passes, causing Kyle to jump at the impact and look over at us with wide eyes. “What?” he snaps, frowning. Dallas nods up the stairs, and I turn around, taking the stairs two at a time. I jog to my bedroom door, hearing the patter of their footsteps behind me.

  I open the door and allow Dallas and Kyle to enter first before I follow and pull it closed behind me. Letting out a sigh, I lean against the wall and dip my head. Dallas slaps the stack of papers on my desk before he turns to Kyle.