Evelyn stiffens slightly at the question and I instantly know that she’s not going to tell me the answer today. She stands from her spot at the table, but doesn’t look at me.
“I know you’ve got a lot of questions that you feel you deserve the answer to,” she says, absently wiping the table down with her palm. “But I hope you can be satisfied with the fact that you just can’t know everything yet.”
Her eyes meet mine, and I know that I’m showing confusion, but that’s what I want her to see in me. I want her to see that I need answers to the questions I have. I want to know why it is that I’ve been thrown into the middle of all this.
Evelyn lets out a loud breath. “The answer to your question is a long and complicated one,” she says. “It’s not one that we have time for tonight.”
I look around her shack and shrug. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve got nowhere to be tonight.”
“But I do. I’ve got to get some sleep.” With that, she turns from the kitchen table and makes her way may that to a door on the other side of the shack that I assume is her bedroom. “There’s a blanket and cushion on the couch. I’m sure you’ll be comfortable enough.”
“Wait,” I say as she begins to step through the doorway.
She stops and looks at me, lingering.
I know it’s not a good time to pause; yet I can’t help but stop and think for a moment. Aaron didn’t want me to say anything to Evelyn about Jeremiah being the one responsible for killing my parents, but I have to ask. All this time I’ve been holding all the blame for myself. And though I can’t say I will ever give up all of my responsibility for what happened on that horrible day, to learn that someone else is to blame might help ease my mind a little.
“Aaron said…” I hesitate. I’m betraying his trust, but I can’t help it. He’s not the one with unanswered questions like me. “Aaron said something about Jeremiah being responsible for my parents’ death.”
Evelyn stands in the doorway for a long second, just staring at me, eyebrows down.
“He did, did he? That’s interesting.”
“What’s interesting?” I ask.
“That he told you that,” she says. “It just surprises me.” She smiles at me thoughtfully and turns through the doorway and closes the door behind her. At first, I’m shocked at the rudeness that she’s displayed, but now I’m just baffled. What reason could Evelyn have to keep all this kind of information from me?
Eventually, I make it to the couch, but I don’t sleep. Questions fly through my mind from all over the place. Why is it interesting that Aaron told me that information about Jeremiah and my parents? Was it a lie? Was he just saying that to get me to go against Jeremiah?
I don’t remember falling asleep, but when I wake up, it’s early morning. Evelyn’s bedroom door is still shut and the darkness outside begins to give way to the sun. I get up, retie my hair, and step to the window next to the door. It’s early, but several people are already bustling about, carrying on with their duties for the day. As I watch them pass by, I can’t help but feel alone. I know that I’ve got this new group that wants me to be part of their resistance, but I’m filled with so many mixed emotions, I can’t feel truly at peace with all of this.
I don’t like Jeremiah. But I don’t like conflict. I hate killing. And that’s what these people want. That’s what Evelyn wants. That’s what Aaron wants. It seems that the only one that wishes to live in any sort of relative peace is Connor. He doesn’t particularly care for Jeremiah either, but at least he’s content to live the way he does.
But what if Jeremiah is responsible for killing my parents? Am I justified to make war against him? I guess it just depends how involved he truly was. He’s been made out to be a monster, but Evelyn and her crew have failed to show me exactly what it is that makes Jeremiah the monster that needs slaying. They speak in generalizations. They never tell me the full truth. In time, they say.
I let out a sigh, still thinking of Connor. He’s the only one that doesn’t seem to want conflict. He’s the only one that seems to have a level head about all of this. Here I am, agreeing to help people fight, but I don’t really know why.
I close my eyes, focusing on Connor. Where are you? I can suddenly hear all kinds of popping noises. Bangs, one right after another. Shattering glass. I see and smell the smoke. All my senses are present with Connor. I find myself viewing over Connor’s shoulder. He’s at the firing range, shooting at targets he had probably set up himself. I try to trace the path he took to get there, but my skills aren’t that aden shoulder.vanced. At least not yet.
When I leave Evelyn’s shack, I resort to asking someone how to get to the firing range and I’m directed northward on past the large house at the end of the colony.
I walk past more colonists farming on the little bit of land they have. As I move I can see the looming wall around the colony that keeps the people in and the greyskins out.
What a terrible life we all have to live. It’s no wonder people are willing to give up almost all of their liberties so they can be free from fear. But that’s the way it is. Either we can live in constant fear and remain in charge of our own lives, or we can give up those decisions to someone else in exchange for safety. The longer I’m on this journey, the less I can determine what would be better. I do know that if Springhill had been under Screven’s protection, my parents would still be alive. But according to Aaron, even that might not be true.
I keep walking until I can hear the shooting and then I follow the sound up a hill. Eventually, I run into the chains that block the path where a sign hangs in the middle, declaring the zone to be unsafe. Ignoring the sign, I duck under the chain and make my way to the hill’s peak.
Below and to my right, I see Connor taking aim at a glass bottle he must have found in the dirt somewhere. Even though I can see him clearly, I want to see him up close, but I don’t want him to know I’m here yet.
I close my eyes again. This time my view is directly in front if his face, which is exactly where I want to be. He looks down the barrel of his rifle with one eye and he closes the other with intense concentration. He has no idea that he’s pointing the barrel at me in a sense. I know that when he fires, the bullet won’t hit me. I know that I’m not really there, but I also know that part of me is. And I know that Connor hasn’t a clue. With barely a squeeze on the trigger, the bullet explodes out of the barrel. I turn my consciousness to see what he is aiming for. The glass bottle is shaved neatly at the neck, and the base doesn’t even move. It’s a clean shot. Straight and pure. I’ve seen this precision before. When Connor rescued me from the pursuing herd of greyskins.
He must be satisfied with his shot because when I open my eyes, I see him sit on the ground as he sets the rifle next to him. The early morning sun is starting to warm the air and Connor seems content to soak it all in. I think about what he has gone through over the past few days, learning about his brother being a Starborn, learning that I am one of them too. It’s probably a lot to swallow. I can’t help but feel bad. Especially knowing that I sort of betrayed him.
There’s no masking my approach as I walk down to where he is sitting. I try not to notice the shift of his eyes. I know he doesn’t want me here, because he wants to be alone.
As I come nearer, he pulls his rifle closer to him, not in a threatening way, but in a way that closes himself off from me just a little more. I don’t say anything at first when I’m standing next to him. For some reason, I’m at a loss as to what I should say. As I’m struggling to find the words, he speaks first.
“I’m sorry I called the Screven guards to my place,” he says. “It was stupid of me.”
“They would have found me eventually,” I say with a shrug.
“I’m also sorry about what I said. I don’t have any right to tell you what to do or think. You can make your own decisions.”
“I told you, I don’t have feelings for Aaron,” I say, though I’m not entirely sure I’m not lying to him. And to
myself.
Connor looks up at me from the ground, grins and shakes his head. “I was talking about tar b your stance against Jeremiah.”
My cheeks burn red.
“But yeah,” he says, “that too.”
He picks himself up off the ground and begins to walk away from me, rifle in hand.
“Connor, don’t leave,” I say, following close behind.
“You don’t need me anymore,” he says. “You never really needed me. You could have just used your powers to blow the greyskins away the day I found you. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure why you even came with me.”
“Because I had just learned what I’m capable of,” I say. My shorter legs struggle to keep up with Connor’s long, storming stride. He seems to be walking in no particular direction; he’s just trying to get as far away from me as possible. “If you hadn’t shot down the greyskins, I would be dead right now.”
Connor stops suddenly and turns to face me. “What do you want from me?” he asks. “Why did you come out here? Why can’t you just do what you want to do? I’m not trying to stop you.”
“I want you to see why I’m going against Jeremiah,” I say. “I want you to understand why I’ve made this decision.”
“Why do you think I care?” he says.
The words hurt more than I would have expected and I’m not sure how to respond at first. When I finally find my voice, I say, “Because I want you to care. I need you to care.” I sigh. “Because I care about what you think of me. I care about your opinion.”
“No, you care about Aaron,” he says. “But that’s fine with me. You are your own person; you can do whatever you want.”
I shake my head and I can feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. I don’t want to cry, but I can’t help it as the streaks of salty water slide down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry for what happened between me and Aaron,” I say. “I don’t want there to be anything between us. I don’t want there to be anything between you and me either. I just want to finish what I set out to do.”
“Then why don’t you do it?” he says. “Stop messing around and go protect your family. If you don’t want Jeremiah to be a part of it, then drive him out. You’ve got the power, use it.”
His words are sobering, but they don’t soothe my feelings. They don’t help me resolve the emotions that are flooding through me.
“I want you to help me,” I say. “I want you to be there when we fight him. This has turned into so much more than simply trying to protect Springhill. My eyes have been opened to a lot in the past week. I have discovered things I never could have imagined, yet there are many more questions that remain unanswered. All I know is that in this world, you need friends if you’re going to survive.”
“But you’re starting a fight that I don’t believe in, Mora. You’re fighting other people when we should be fighting off the greyskins. We weaken ourselves when we fight each other.”
I stand silent for a moment, taking his words in. Generally, he’s right. But this is different. I shake my head at Connor.
“Jeremiah started the fight long ago,” I say. “It’s time that we defend ourselves.”
Another long moment sits between us as Connor stares off into the distance at nothing in particular. I want more than anything for him to be on our side, but I also know that I can no longer make him my priority. If he chooses to ignore what is happening, that’s his prerogative. I’m not going to chase him any longer.
“The fight is coming,” I say. “And when it does, I want you to be on our side.”
With that I start to walk away, fully accepting that I may ng tdth="2eever see Connor as an ally again. The thought hurts, but it is one that I will have to get over. I walk about ten paces before he calls out to me.
“Do you think it’s a fight you can win?” he asks.
I stop, but I don’t turn my head.
“I don’t know if we can win. All we can do is try.”
No more words are said, and I walk away while Connor is left standing alone.
The rest of the day is uneventful. I don’t find Aaron or Evelyn, but I’m not looking for them either. I spend most of the day just wandering around the village. Even though this Code Red is looming over us, I can’t help but try to stay isolated instead of preparing for the possible attack that might destroy us. I feel disheartened by losing Connor’s friendship. The fact that we’ve known each other for such a little time has no weight on how I feel for him. A day or a year makes no difference. People have to rely on each other in this world. For a short time, I relied on Connor, but I’ve got to let him go. I’ve got to move on and focus on what is ahead of me.
To do that, I have to leave the colony for a few hours.
I find my way back to the secret passage under the wall. The house isn’t my destination, but the woods are.
It’s one of the worst places to go alone because of the possibility of running into a rogue greyskin, but I’m not worried. At the edge, I find a tree with low-hanging branches and begin to climb toward the top. I eventually find a branch that’s wide enough to straddle comfortably with a view of Salem in the distance. If a trained eye were looking through a decent pair of binoculars, I’m sure someone could spot me, but I feel no danger.
My mind drifts to my brother and my grandma. In my mind’s eye I can see them huddled together in my bed in Springhill. They are asleep, but they look as though they had been huddling in fear or maybe grief. Even in their sleep they look sad. I wish my ability to watch over them would allow for more information on their well-being, but I’m given nothing. I know that Screven guards now patrol Springhill, but I also know that that means they are safe from greyskins.
I wish I could leave Salem and go to them, but I’d never make it without a vehicle, and there’s no way I’m getting one past the Screven guards. I’m stuck. Either way, I’m forced to join a side. It just so happens that I joined a side that wants to take down Jeremiah, jeopardizing my family in the process. This is what tears at me so much.
I shake my head, unable to believe how stupid I’ve been. I acted too impulsively, thinking that I knew what I was doing when I left Springhill. I knew nothing. If I were to be truly honest with myself, I would say that I don’t really trust either side: Jeremiah or Evelyn. But I think I’ve chosen the lesser of two evils. Not that I think Evelyn is evil, but her secretive nature and her unwillingness to tell me everything that’s going on doesn’t work in her favor as far as I’m concerned.
I realize I still have to think like I’m on my own. I know that I can’t trust these people completely. I thought I could trust Aaron, but now that I think about it, he and Evelyn are so close to each other, he probably knows everything she knows. Therefore, he’s probably hiding things from me as well. That’s what makes losing Connor’s friendship so difficult. I can trust Connor, because Connor doesn’t trust anyone else.
Except that he had trusted me, and I let him down.
I sigh and rake my fingers through the loose hairs around my face. I sit in the tree for hours until the sun starts to paint the sky dark shades of orange aes g my familnd red.
Red.
Code Red.
Jeremiah is finished with me and ready to take me down. I unwittingly made a very powerful enemy. But at the same time I’ve made powerful allies. At least for the time being.
I can only trust someone for as long as it takes to get through each day. I cannot trust anyone else for the long term. I’ve got to look out for my family and myself. And the only way I can do that is to work with Aaron, Evelyn, and the others to fight Jeremiah. That will probably mean a fight here at Salem. So be it. But as soon as I can get out of Salem, I’m headed straight for Springhill. The others can come if they want, but I don’t suspect they will find it necessary.
As Aaron said, I’ve been given a gift. When I left my family to get help, I didn’t know about it. Since then I’ve learned to use it, and use it well. Who knows how much mo
re it w
ill grow as time moves along?
With this gift I can protect Springhill. I won’t need the other Starborns. But they will continue to fight Jeremiah.
I smile at this. Jeremiah will be so preoccupied fighting the other Starborns that he’s going to forget all about Springhill and me. My family will be safe, and I will use my gift to fight off the greyskins. We won’t have to suffer. No more lives will be lost in Springhill.
The sun is fading quickly and I don’t want to be out here when it gets dark. I’m confident in my ability to fight off a lone greyskin, but even with great gifts such as mine, I can’t predict what will happen in the dark. But I’m so tired.
People are bitten more often when they try to fight greyskins in the dark. The dark is a greyskin’s best friend. In the dark, they can be nearly unseen. Right up until they sink their rotten teeth into their victim.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
My intention to leave the woods before it got dark was overtaken by my need for sleep. I’m not sure what time it is when I wake, but it’s dark and I suspect that I’ve slept through most of the night in this tree. Evelyn’s probably worried about me, so I decide to make my way back to the colony.
With determination to fight alongside Evelyn and the other Starborns, I make my way to her shack without reservation. I’m surprised to see her sitting at the kitchen table when I let myself in. She looks up at me and smiles with one side of her mouth.
“Late night?” she asks, blinking slowly.
I nod and walk to the table and pull out a chair to sit in front of her. “What time is it?”
She looks down at her wristband. “5:27. Almost sunrise.”
I can’t believe I slept that long in the tree. I must have been more tired than I realized. “Any news of what this Code Red might be?”
She shakes her head. “Jeremiah will strike when we least expect it. He knows the Starborns are powerful, so he won’t do anything direct or predictable.”
The Starborn Saga (Books 1, 2, & 3) Page 19
