by Nicky Shanks
I have a weird feeling about how excited she becomes. “She wanted information about her, but I slipped and told her something she shouldn’t know. Now I’m afraid Oliver will find out somehow after I promised Julie I’d take care of it and not say anything.”
She listens to me and waits for the metaphorical throat punch.
“The second part is going to be the worst.”
The silence is so suffocating inside the car that I want to forget the whole thing.
“Julie and I are actually…”
She takes a deep breath.
“Married.”
The word echoes inside the space and I wait for her temper tantrum to start. She collects herself and breathes heavily, pushing the anger back down inside of her almost like an organized dance. When her eyes get brave and find mine, there’s no rage inside of them; I see tears form at the corners of her eyes instead, and she fights hard not to let them fall.
“Are you upset because I’m married?”
She instantly answers me. “No. I’m upset that you wanted to lie to me about it. I’m more upset that you wanted to make it go away without me knowing. I’m most upset that you think so little of me that you just knew I’d make a disastrous scene about it. I told you I wanted to change and I’m actually trying.” I hear the door open and she steps out, not bothering to look back at me. “I’m going inside.”
The door slams and shakes the entire car. I let her go inside and have a few minutes alone to cry. I know I’ve hurt her deeply. I can’t help it—it’s not like I planned this. I forgot about it because I never wanted to slip and let Julie know. Somewhere in the shuffle I guess I just…forgot it was real.
I never meant to hurt Heather in the process.
When the front door slams shut behind me, the condo is silent and dark. The sun has started to go down, the natural light that’s left in the room mocking me as it fades. I hear her shuffling something around in her old room, which she’s turned into a study. The door is open and it makes me smile because I know she wants me to come in and fix this.
“I’m sorry I never told you,” I say when I walk through the door. She’s sitting at her desk, pretending to have a book open to study. “I made the right decision by telling you, and yes, at first, I wasn’t going to tell you at all. But you’re right, we’re not keeping secrets. So, that’s why I told you now.”
“You told me because you’re in fear of it getting out,” she snaps, not looking up.
I don’t like the way she’s talking to me at all. My body swiftly comes up to hers and I pull her gently out of her chair so she’ll look me in the eyes. “Trust me, if I wanted to take care of it and not say anything, I would have. I’m being a better man and taking responsibility—can’t you see that?”
The pleading tone in my voice changes her mind—I see it in the shift of her expression. “Okay, so what are you going to do about it? Have you already been to the courthouse?”
I shake my head. “No, I’ll go tomorrow. We won’t need lawyers or anything since we’re not splitting a real marriage. I’ll go and pay the money, we’ll have a hearing sometime soon, and that will be that.”
Heather nods. “Okay, I trust you to do it.”
I’m glad she trusts that I’ll go through with it.
Someone has to believe in it—in me—even if I don’t.
Chapter Nine
Oliver
The morning sunlight peeks through the curtains and Julie sleeps so soundly that it fills my chest with satisfaction. The honey blonde strands of hair that’ve escaped onto her cheek blow gently with her breathing; she’s so incredibly goddamn beautiful that it’s hard to believe that this is actually my reality. She’s still naked underneath the sheets and her body tangles around mine, but I don’t mind. I’ve hardly slept at all because I know she’s hiding something from me and it’s killing me that she won’t just give in and tell me what it is. I trust her enough that she’ll eventually give in and tell me…but the waiting is eating me alive inside.
She knows I’ll help her with whatever she needs, so I’m not sure why she’s hiding things from me. I’m not looking forward to leaving her here alone for a few days—especially when I have no one left to keep an eye out for her. I still have Mrs. Atchley, my somewhat pseudo-grandmother, but she’s been holed up in her apartment for weeks with the flu. I know Julie can take care of herself, but there’s a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach just knowing that I have to be away from her.
She softly moans in her sleep and snuggles deeper into my chest. A satisfied sigh slips from her mouth and it makes me pull her as close to me as I can possibly get her. I know I need to get up and make some phone calls to confirm my meetings later this week, but being with her makes it nearly impossible to want to do anything else. The strawberry scent of her hair fills my nose and sends me back into the good dream that I woke up from in the first place.
When she starts to move her body and wake up, it startles me back awake enough to pretend I’ve still been watching her fondly. Her little body is tucked flush against mine, but she doesn’t move after opening her eyes slowly to let the morning light in. I feel her yawn against my chest and smile, making my breath hitch enough for her to be aware I’m awake.
“Good morning, sunshine.” I kiss the top of her head and squeeze her body. “How did you sleep?”
Our naked skin is firmly pressed together; this doesn’t make it easy to concentrate on anything else. My mind wanders to the empty house that I bought for her. It’s going to stay empty until she decides it’s the right time to move in. She was supposed to have an answer for me on that too but has yet to deliver. I don’t want to push her, and of course, this pisses me off beyond words. I’m controlling—I’ve learned that about myself recently, but I still want to live in the house that I bought.
For her.
My tongue runs across the bottom of my lip and she looks up to catch my eye. It’s amazing how bright blue her eyes are when she first wakes up. The weight of her round ass presses against my stomach as she surprisingly hops up to straddle me. Her small palms press against my pecs and she leans down to part my lips with hers. My fingers tangle around her hair as I sit up and face her. The fire in her eyes burns right through me.
“Good morning.” She giggles and kisses my cheek. “I slept like the dead.”
What the fuck.
I groan. “Julie, you and I are gonna talk about the meaning of ‘blue balls’ later.”
Her laugh is so contagious that I forget what I’m angry about and start laughing too. “When are you leaving town?” she asks.
My teeth grind together so hard that a stabbing pain travels up my jaw to my left eye. I rub my cheek and try to figure out how I’m going to change the subject. “Tonight. I’ll be gone for a few days, maybe three.”
Her pout is so fucking adorable, it’s hard not to nibble on the thick part taunting me. “Well, I’ll miss you. I still have my end of the promise to uphold, right? I told you I’d have an answer about when we could move into that house?”
Yes.
A thousand fucking times yes.
“You did.” The excitement builds up in my body, but her soft skin is winning the war for where my thoughts are going. She flexes her thigh muscles against my hips and I know she can feel my dick sliding up her ass right about now. She holds her composure so I’m not going to be the asshole and try to seduce her again. No, next time it has to be all Julie.
“Well…” She drags out the last letter for a few seconds. “Maybe when you get back from your business trip, we can go furniture shopping? I’ll stop by there tomorrow and take pictures of the rooms so I can have plans, okay?”
My heart fucking sings.
The second time since I’ve met her, I feel fucking invincible.
“That sounds like the best idea you’ve ever had.” I can’t help but to spread my smile across the fullness of my jaw, but I don’t care. She can see the goofiness inside of me and it doesn’t bot
her me one bit. I love the hell out of this woman, and nothing will ever make that change.
“I do tend to have a few good ones.” She smiles and pecks my lips. “Now, it’s Tuesday. I want to study for my classes and then I want tacos. In that order.”
She slips from my grasp before I can catch her. “But…I want to stay in bed all day.”
“Go work out or something. You’ve already broken the ‘no sex for six weeks’ rule, and you didn’t rip too many stitches. Maybe a light workout would be good for you.”
Who is this woman?
She walks naked out of the room; her ass bounces with each step she takes, making my mouth wet and legs shake.
I want to follow her so bad.
“Just do something else,” I hiss. My phone flashes on the side table so I stretch my body, letting the sheet fall to expose my stomach. I sift through the notifications and see that Casey has called me three times and he’s left three different voicemails. I scoff and delete them before even listening to them. I don’t care what he has to say—I want nothing to do with him anymore. He’s not the kind of brother I want in my life, that’s for damn sure.
There’s a few texts from Casey too.
Casey: Oliver, please. Call me, okay?
Casey: Look, I have something important to tell you. Call me.
Casey: I just want to apologize to you, please call me.
I shake my head and delete the messages. I want to erase him from everything, but I can’t bring myself to delete his actual number from the phone. I hear the shower start and it takes every single ounce of restraint I have not to run into that shower with her.
My phone rings and I start to hit the end call button, but it’s someone I’ve been waiting to hear back from: Casey’s father, Rodney Anderson. He took care of my grandfather’s books for the most part, so when I told him I wanted to sell off every property and asset my grandfather’s company had, he didn’t take it well. In fact, he threatened to take me in front of the Board of Directors. When Julie was at lunch with Nora and Staci on Saturday, I used video chat with the group and they all agreed to the sales if I paid back all the investors and severance salaries before pocketing the rest. I saw that as a fair deal, so I agreed and Rodney was more pissed than he was before we started.
“Rodney,” I greet him and snicker. “What do you need?”
“You can’t do this. You can’t give away your grandfather’s money.”
My long legs swing off the bed and I stand up to stretch, remembering the stitches as a small twinge of pain shoots down my side. My knee has almost completely healed so I don’t need my crutches anymore…not that I used them much anyway. I guess having sex in the shower with Julie is the best kind of physical therapy to have. “I’m not giving away anything. The Board has decided that I’m right, and as long as I do things the legit way, nothing can stop me. Not even you.”
“Oliver, don’t you fucking do this,” he warns me. “You won’t have a virtually endless supply of money anymore. Your life won’t even compare to what it is now.”
“Money isn’t everything, Rodney.” I hold the phone with my shoulder and pull on a pair of sweats. “It’s people like you who think it is that make money evil. You’ll get your severance like everyone else, and then we’re done.”
I hang up before he can argue any more. I already made my decision; I want to sever my ties with Victor Jackson and his company obligations and make my own path. I’m going to open that bar in Rockford like planned…just not with Casey. I’ll let Julie help me design it and maybe I’ll name a drink after her too.
Mint Julip.
I smile and pull on a t-shirt, looking at my shaggy face in the mirror. It takes longer than expected, but I’m almost finished shaving by the time Julie steps out of the shower into the steamy bathroom. My eyes look down at the scar on her leg and it pushes a broad smile on my lips.
“Your scar is my all-time favorite story.”
She glances down at her wet leg and frowns. “I think it’s ugly.”
I finish shaving and put the razor playfully in the farthest corner of the sink away from her. She groans and I wrap her body in the towel hanging on the rack. “Nothing about you is ugly, don’t say shit like that. I don’t like it when you talk bad about yourself.”
She shrugs and wraps another towel around her hair. “Well, what’s so special about the time I nearly cut my leg off?”
“First off, you didn’t almost cut off your leg, woman. The reason it’s my all-time favorite story is…it’s the first time I knew my feelings for you were actually real.”
Her cheeks flush and she looks at the floor. “Oh, I didn’t know.”
“I know you didn’t, don’t worry about it. I thought you were going to study?”
“I am.” She quickly kisses my cheek and slips out of the bathroom. I clean up my mess and head to the kitchen to soothe my growling stomach. In the midst of our entanglement the night before, we completely forgot about the chocolate chip pancakes I made to celebrate her first day in class. I toss the pancakes and the batter in the trash and load the dishes into the dishwasher just to gain some extra brownie points.
There’s a few steaks in the fridge, but I remember that she doesn’t eat very much meat, so that won’t do. I grab the steaks anyway and start grilling them on the stove while I make a garden salad off to the side. I sprinkle mushrooms into the bowl and am flipping the steaks one last time as she comes into the room, sniffing the air with pleasure.
“Steak for breakfast?”
I point to the digital clock on the microwave. “It’s nearly noon, baby.”
She frowns and starts to panic. “I’ve lost so much time! I could have been studying!”
“I’ll save you a plate, go ahead.” I nod to the living room. “I’ll watch TV in the bedroom to give you peace and quiet.”
She squeaks and nearly trips as she gathers her things and settles in on the sofa. I don’t bother going to the bedroom like I promised her; I eat slowly in the kitchen and watch the wheels turn in her head and the lightbulbs of ideas floating around the room. I listen to her read her textbooks out loud and talk to herself, teaching herself in her own special way. It’s like watching someone understand life for the very first time—the peace they find when they’re so certain of something for once.
I don’t even own a sliver of my own heart anymore.
Julie consumes every single inch of it.
“I hear you back there.” She sighs and turns her head to look at me. “You’ve been back there for hours. I thought you were going to work out?”
I point my index finger at her. “You suggested that I work out. I want to watch you.”
“You’re creeping me out a little.” She hesitates to spare my feelings. “I’m trying to concentrate and I hear your loud thinking from back there.”
“What am I thinking about, then?” My eyebrows rise.
She clears her throat and cracks a faint smile. “Nothing that doesn’t require a rated-R label on it.”
I stand up and leave the room, because she’s right. This entire time I’ve been thinking of tasting her skin and how soft and warm it is against mine. How the thickness of her ass feels in my hands or what her hips feel like when I grasp at them. I don’t walk away bothering to hide the hardness of my dick because maybe she’ll follow me and forget about studying.
Packing for my short trip seems like a good distraction right about now. I throw a few pairs of jeans into a suitcase, along with neatly folded dress shirts and slacks underneath a brand-new pair of black loafers. I want this face-to-face meeting with the Board to go well, and I want them to take me seriously. I may only be twenty-five, but I know what I want in life, and it’s not to follow in my grandfather’s shoes.
I hear her talking from the other room and it soothes me. In the process of trying to figure out where she’s moved my extra toothbrush in the bathroom, I open a few drawers and sift through some of the contents. A piece of paper crinkles underne
ath some of Julie’s tampons. It’s weird that a folded-up paper would be stuck in between feminine products like this…unless it’s something she’s hiding from me.
My blood starts to boil and I start to unfold the paper.
No, don’t disrespect her privacy like that, Oliver.
Put it back.
Put. It. Back.
“Oliver?” I hear her call for me from the living room. “Do you care if I skip that monstrous piece of steak and eat tacos instead?”
I shove the paper inside my pocket and leap out of the room to see her. “No—do you want me to get you tacos?” I need an excuse to leave the apartment to read this paper. There’s something important enough on it for her to hide it from me. I don’t want to open it here just in case it’s something that will make me so fucking angry that I won’t be able to come back from it.
She smiles sweetly. “Would you mind?”
“Not at all, baby. Let me grab the keys.” I snag the keys to the rental car from the dresser—making a mental note that I need to buy each of us a new car at some point—and realize that I’m still wearing sweatpants. I change and find my wallet and phone, shoving them into the pocket of my jeans and throwing my boots on. By the time I get back into the living room, she’s curled up on the sofa and snoozing. I kiss her forehead and whisper that I’ll be back soon, and then I can’t get to the car fast enough. It’s killing me—I want to know what’s on that piece of paper.
I forgot a jacket, but the middle of October chill is refreshing; my skin radiates heat from the intensity of my anger. I’m about to find out what she’s hiding from me. My boots scrape against the concrete and I take one last look up at the open curtains of the living room window, squinting my eyes against the sunlight. This isn’t a good idea and I know it.
The car starts and I sit inside for a few minutes, enjoying the silence and trying to keep myself from doing something stupid. It’s probably nothing. But why would she hide nothing? Was it even hidden? I mean, it could’ve just fell into the drawer…beneath layers of tampons and woman products she never thought I’d look through.
