by Nicky Shanks
Casey looks up at us with questions.
“Don’t fucking tell her where you got that black eye,” I say. “All she needs to know is someone kicked your ass because you deserved it.” I nearly spit on him, but he quickly moves from our feet as fast as he can. I didn’t see her come out, but Julie is running over to us, fire in her ocean-blue eyes. She helps Casey up and he cowers behind her like a hurt puppy dog. It’s pissing Heather off so badly that she’s going to slip up and make the wrong move here.
Julie growls. “What is going on out here?”
“Your little boyfriend on the side called me some pretty horrible things.” Heather puffs up her chest. I know she’s not afraid of Julie, but she still dreams about a friendship someday, so she doesn’t unleash her attitude in full. “I don’t appreciate being called a ‘waste of space.’”
Julie laughs. “I’m sorry, he called you that?” Her snickering is more than Heather can bear. I touch her arm to calm her down and keep her head in the game. “You can’t be surprised. I mean, you aren’t the greatest person in the world, Heather.”
My teeth grind together. “I stand by what I said before: You’ve become a real fucking bitch, Julie.”
She doesn’t care. “Okay, we’re leaving. We don’t need to be here with you two.” She takes Casey’s arm and he smiles wickedly at me as she starts to pull him away. “You two should be ashamed of yourselves, you know that? I thought you were starting to be different, better people.”
Heather and I look at each other but don’t say a word.
We are different, better people.
Julie just has no idea what we’re doing to be that way.
Chapter Fourteen
Casey
Julie ushers me away from Brandon and Heather and I’m thankful that they aren’t screaming after us, trying to start more drama than there already is. I can’t stand either of them, and what was that fucking bullshit about Oliver being out of town? How would they even know that?
She buckles herself into the seat next to me and frowns. “I’m missing the rest of class because you three can’t act like adults in a parking lot.” The air she exhales fills the car. “Why can’t everyone just act like freaking adults around here?”
“I’m sorry, Julie.” My eyes meet my lap. “I know that your classes are important to you.”
She nods. “They really are. I never got the chance to do this college thing, Casey. You and Oliver did…even Heather did once. I just want it to be a normal experience and yet…here we are.” Her long fingers wave around as she looks outside. “I wish Oliver never left.”
Ouch.
“I can take care of you,” I blurt. “You can count on me.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me.” A tear falls down her cheek. “I just need you to take care of yourself and stop being this…hurtful person that you’re being. Can we just start heading to Lake Reed now? I’ll be in and out…let me call the caretaker, Madrie.”
I listen to her pleasant phone call with the caretaker of the lake house, and before she hangs up, she’s so personal with them that it makes me smile. She asks about the woman’s husband, Paul, and how their kids are. She asks how they’ve been and gives them well wishes with a genuine smile on her face.
Jesus.
There’s literally no one in this world I’d rather be here with.
My eye starts to throb as she hangs up the phone and looks around to make sure Brandon and Heather aren’t still lingering around.
“They left already,” I say and rub my jaw. “I watched Brandon peel out of here.”
She doesn’t answer me and puts her seat belt on. I know she wants to just leave and get whatever it is that she’s wanting from the lake house, but I want to talk to her. I can’t drive three hours in silence with her…there’s no fucking way.
“Julie?”
I start the car and she looks over at me.
“I can’t make this trip with you mad at me. Can we just talk about something…anything?”
She sighs. “Fine. How is your eye?”
I want to smile so badly but I’m trying not to be a creep. “It fucking hurts.” I start to laugh and rub the corner of my eye. “It’s going to be a beautiful shiner for sure.”
I can feel her smile without looking at her. “Yeah, Brandon can throw a mean right hook. You should’ve seen Oliver’s lip when they scuffled at the lake house a few months ago…it was bruised a little bit for a long time.”
My stomach turns when she talks about Oliver.
I’m such a loser.
“I’m sorry you missed your class.” I try to change the subject quickly. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?”
The car lurches onto the freeway and we start the three-hour drive to our destination. I don’t have a bench seat like Oliver did in his Jeep, so there’s no hoping that she’ll slide over and get closer to me—not that she would, anyway.
“Not really,” she says. “I just want to get up there, grab what I need, and then come home. Oliver will be home tomorrow night and things will all go back to normal.”
I chuckle. “Whatever normal is for us.”
She giggles. “Exactly. Normal for our bunch isn’t exactly picture perfect.”
I shrug and notice that she’s shivering. I find the heat controls and turn them on, directing the soft rush of warm air toward her body without saying a word. She thanks me silently by nodding toward me and snuggling into her seat.
She’s fucking adorable.
I shake my head and keep my eyes on the road for the entire trip, letting her fall asleep and snooze softly next to me. I want to make her feel safe, and if she didn’t feel safe with me, she wouldn’t have fallen asleep so quickly. It takes so much time to get her out of my brain that when I pull into the long gravel drive of Oliver’s Lake Reed house, she stretches and moans and her essence is put directly back into my veins again.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I slept the whole way here!” She covers her mouth as she yawns. “I didn’t sleep well last night without Oliver home.”
I frown. “I’m sorry about that. But…we’re here, and I think that’s the caretaker waving at you.”
Julie’s eyes light up and she smiles. Her legs pull her from the car without even looking at me and she runs toward the woman with open arms, hugging her. The larger, older woman puts her arms around Julie and glares at me…probably because I’m not Oliver. People tend to do that when they see me alone with Julie, like I’m a predator and she’s a fragile gazelle that I’m about to devour.
Okay, they’re not totally wrong there.
“Casey, this is Madrie.” Julie smiles at the woman as I walk up to them. “She’s the new caretaker for the lake house. Well, her and her husband, Paul. Where is he?”
Madrie takes Julie’s hand and smiles. “Paul had some work to do for another tenant down the road today, so it’s just me.” The smiles they exchange are oddly comforting to me. “He sends his love and wishes he could see you, but he has a crew of workers that need supervision.”
Julie laughs. “I understand. I’m glad you’re here! Is the door unlocked?”
Madrie nods. “Yes, Miss Julie. Do you have time for lunch? I can make you some freshly caught salmon and buttered squash.”
My stomach growls and Julie notices. “Well, I guess that’s a yes, isn’t it? Thank you, Madrie. I hope you’ll be joining us?”
The woman shakes her head. “No, Miss Julie. Once I make lunch, I should join Paul down the road and offer my help. I won’t hear the end of it if I don’t.” The women laugh as they walk inside the lake house, and I hesitate. I never realized what I would feel like coming back here. The last time I set foot inside this house, Nora was on my arm, giggling and totally infatuated with me.
Where did I go wrong?
I growl and enter the house because I know exactly where I went wrong.
I’m a fucking idiot.
“Casey?” I hear Julie call for me from a room on the second
floor. “Can you come up here and help me in the library, please?”
I’ve never run up a flight of stairs so fast in my life.
Since I’ve never been to the library, it takes me a quick minute to find it. I push the door open the rest of the way and see Julie stretching her small body to reach a few books on a high shelf near the window. Madrie is downstairs making the lunch she promised, so it’s just me as I catch Julie before she falls backward and crumples to the floor. I hold her in my arms a little too long, but she doesn’t pull from me. She lets me gently set her back on her feet as she blushes.
“I’m trying to get those bound books up there, the ones with the different colors.” Her finger points up high. “I’m not quite tall enough to reach them.”
A smile spreads across my face. “I see that. Let me get them for you.”
I brush past her without any real effort and reach to the shelf, taking down four of the books she pointed to. When I hand them to her, she smiles and looks at the floor. Our bodies are so close to each other that it’d take nothing for me to whisk her into my arms and devour her mouth.
“Thanks. I’ll have to ask Oliver to get a small ladder installed in here.”
The heat between us quickly fades when she says his name.
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to do it.”
The air between us is awkward now. I know she’s fully aware of what I want our relationship to be, and I know she’s also aware that I won’t make a single move to do anything about it. She’s not mine, she’s Oliver’s, and I have to respect that if I want to keep her in my life.
She glides over to the golden chaise and sits down, packing the books into her bag for safekeeping. Her hand pats the empty spot next to her and I immediately sit down, making sure that our knees are a safe enough distance apart.
“So, how is Lucy?” she asks. “I know I see her in class, but we haven’t talked about what happened.”
I wave her off. “I haven’t spoken to her, really. Your guess is as good as mine.”
Lies. You know Oliver cheated with Lucy.
Julie’s lips purse. “She seems like a good person, so maybe she’ll come around. What happened after Oliver and I left the bar parking lot?”
I don’t want to have this conversation with her.
“Do we have to talk about this?”
She blinks a few times and straightens her pale green blouse. “No, I guess not. I just thought since we’re friends maybe we could talk about our lives together. Maybe I was wrong…”
“You’re not wrong.” I look at the fabric of the chaise and run my fingers over it. “I liked Lucy a lot, but she realized that I wasn’t fully into it.”
“Why not?”
Because I like you. Are you kidding me?
“She just noticed that I was trying to get over my crush on you.” She blushes and folds her hands across her lap. “But she didn’t want to hear my side of it. Now she won’t even talk to me and I don’t blame her. I mean, I screwed up with Nora, Lucy, and you.”
Shit.
“Me? How did you screw up with me?”
I can’t find another way to say it. “I thought that by showing you what a bad guy Oliver was and what a good guy I am…I don’t know. I wanted you, and that’s all I could think about.”
Instead of changing the subject, she digs deeper. “I still don’t know why everyone thinks they are in so much lust over me. It puzzles me sometimes why Oliver even loves me.” Her gaze meets mine and I can see tears forming in the corners of her endless ocean blue eyes. “This whole thing surprises me…we never actually had a real foundation, you know? I mean, I love Oliver, don’t get me wrong. I love certain things about him that form into one big feeling, but he’s never told me why he specifically loves me. Not really.”
I let her continue and my heart starts beating faster.
“I’m just me, you know? I try to be a good person and just fly under the radar sometimes, but I’m still just a normal, regular person. I’m not magical.” Her gaze meets mine again and I feel my cheeks flush. “No matter how much people think I’m something special, I’m really not.”
I hold up my hand playfully. “Can I be truthful with you without getting my head bit off?”
She nods and laughs. “I guess so. This is a head-biting free zone right now.”
“Good.” I relax into the chaise and lock my eyes onto hers. “You are special, don’t ever fucking think you’re not. You turn lost and confused men into warriors, Julie. I’ve said this before, but you didn’t know Oliver before our first trip up here. He was not headed down a good path. I’m surprised he didn’t catch some disease from the number of women—”
She holds up her hand. “—Skip that part.”
I nod. “Oliver wasn’t interested in white picket fences and putting down roots until you came along. Something about the way you love him or how you handle yourself puts people in the mindset that everything is going to be okay. I mean, it’s easy to fall for you, it really is. You just make people…better.”
She wipes away tears and I can’t help it, I reach out and flick away the last few drops that linger on her cheek. “You bring out the best in people, Julie.”
I want to kiss her so fucking bad right now it’s unreal.
“Casey,” she whispers my name and leans into my touch. “We can’t do this.”
I can’t hold air inside my lungs anymore, so I blow out whatever I have left. “We’re not doing anything, we’re just talking.” I smile, but I know she feels guilty so I pull my hand away. I’m not going to make a move on her—not after Oliver finally trusts me to be around her again.
“We should go downstairs.” Her voice is low. “Madrie might have lunch ready.”
“You go ahead, I’ll be down in a minute,” I say. She doesn’t waste time before she stands up and leaves me alone in the library, where I collapse into the chaise and put my hand over my chest. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s going to burst through my ribcage.
I almost kissed her.
I almost took her innocence from her and made her a horrible person.
I’m a damn mess.
After making sure to wait a considerable amount of time so I can compose myself, I head downstairs and into the kitchen, where Julie and Madrie watch me with wary expressions. A glass of iced tea and a full plate of salmon, asparagus, and buttered yellow squash wait for me across from Julie as she sits down with her own plate. Madrie eyes me with annoyance as I join Julie at the table.
“This looks really good, thanks Madrie.” I flash a toothy smile at her and try to melt some of the ice around her hard gaze. “I haven’t eaten this good in a long time.”
Julie giggles. “Madrie, if you need to go…I understand. Thank you so much for the delicious food.” She takes a bite and moans, making me nearly drop my fork as I pick it up. “Tell Paul hello for me, and I promise Oliver and I will plan a trip up here when my classes are over in seven more weeks.”
Madrie nods and hugs her. “You be safe, Miss Julie.”
I dig into the food and hardly notice that Madrie leaves us alone until I’m halfway done. Julie is right; this food is delicious.
“Maybe you should breathe a little.” Julie laughs and takes a bite of her own salmon; her eyes roll back into her head with pleasure. “This is so good!”
Watching her lips around the fork turns me on.
Her eyes closing and opening in pleasure turns me on.
The small giggle she gives me when she notices me watching her turns me on.
“Do you want a beer before we head back? I’m not for drinking and driving, but I can drive back if you want.” She stands up and her body brushes past me to get to the fridge. I let her hand me an ice-cold beer, and it takes me no time to open it and chug it down. I need the release; I need her to stop tantalizing me before I do something I’ll regret.
She clears her throat when she sits back down. “Do you think we can hit s
ome of the antique stores in town before we head back to Rockford? I want to start looking for items for the new house.”
Fuck.
I forgot that he asked her to marry him and bought her a house.
My mood instantly drops and I stand up for another beer, throwing my bottle away in the process. I don’t speak to her as I drink the second one and toss it into the trash can with the first. It’s not a secret that I’m having a rough time with all of this.
“Casey? The antique stores?”
I grunt and nod. “Sure.”
Anything for you, Julie.
My best friend’s girl.
Chapter Fifteen
Veronica
It’s a damn miracle that my sons even know how to walk upright without hurting themselves. The fact that my eldest skipped town and left his precious Julie behind with my other son who clearly has a hard-on for her too…well, doesn’t make him the brightest bulb in the box, now does it?
I watch Julie and Casey get into a black car and back out of the long gravel driveway. I know the caretaker won’t be back soon and I want to take another peek inside. But the last time I set foot in this lake house was only months ago, when the kids left the first time. Mac and I started to run through the place but noticed the security system cameras and bolted. I managed to make it out with a few things, including a few of Colin’s journals.
Colin Jackson was one of the best men I’ve ever known.
The grace he pulled out of me was addicting, I’ll admit; it was fucking nice being someone else for a little while even if the darkness at the end of the tunnel dooms you once you reach it. I always went back to Mac, though—the different forms of happiness he provided me were just much more addicting than being a housewife and mother.
I was only twenty-two, after all.
I wasn’t ready to be a wife to someone. Especially not someone honest and pure like Colin Jackson. I know that people can get married in high school and stay together forever, but a tornado and a tidal wave never mix. Ever.
