by Nicky Shanks
Don’t worry about it.
You can trust him.
The woman returns with several dresses folded over her small arms. “Is your boyfriend on to bigger and better things?” she jokes, hanging the gowns on a rack next to the dressing rooms. “Don’t worry about it—men don’t usually stick around for this part, anyway. In you go.” She takes my hand and shoves me behind one of the purple silk curtains.
Purple.
I chuckle to myself at the irony. The woman reaches into the room and hands me four gowns, each as sparkling and stunning as the next. After the first two, a black floor-length strapless gown and a short, baby pink cocktail dress…I take the third off of the hanger and swoon. The fabric feels like butter against my skin and hugs my hips just right to accentuate whatever curves are there lying dormant. I smooth the ivory satin over my stomach and wiggle my toes because the dress is touching them and tickling them.
“This is it,” I whisper, feeling the breeze of the shop door opening and closing. I nearly burst from the dressing room to greet Brandon and show him the dress, but something inside of me tells me to stop and take a minute. I continue looking in the mirror and smiling when I hear Lucy’s voice waft through the curtain as she greets the saleswoman and tries to catch her breath.
“Sorry I’m late, Rita,” she pants out. “My last class ran late and there was traffic. But I’m here now…what can I do?”
Rita sighs. “Take a breath and slow down—put your things away. I’m going to grab a bite to eat down at Dilaggio’s and there’s a customer in the dressing room trying on gowns for the Gatlin Children’s Gala. Can you handle that?”
“I can handle it,” Lucy grumbles. “Bring me back some chocolate cake?”
“You and that chocolate cake,” Rita says with a laugh. “Consider it done. Oh, and that man out there is here with the girl in the dressing room, so don’t be alarmed when he comes back in.”
Lucy scoffs. “I’m not scared of a random guy.”
Rita doesn’t answer and I feel the door open. I start to panic and reach for my phone to text Brandon when the shop door closes and I hear his voice come into the room.
“Hey…oh, you’re Lucy, right?” he says to her. “I’m Brandon…Heather’s boyfriend?”
Lucy doesn’t answer him.
“Heather Michaels?”
I should get out there before she pisses him off.
“Oh, yeah.” Her words are drawn out in annoyance. “I guess you are, aren’t you? Nice to meet you finally. I’ve heard a lot about you from Julie.”
Brandon sucks air through his teeth. “Well, I wouldn’t believe everything you hear. Is Heather still in the dressing room?”
Shit.
I poke my head out and fake a smile. “I’m here.”
The color drains from Lucy’s face. “Oh! I didn’t know it was you in there! You’re going to the Children’s Gala? How did that happen?”
Brandon clears his throat. “She’s going with me. Did you find a dress?” I open the curtain the rest of the way and his eyes grow wide. “Jesus, step out of there.”
I do what he asks and when I fully emerge, he licks his lips. “What do you think?”
Lucy’s jaw drops. “Heather, that dress is gorgeous on you.”
Brandon growls at her because I wasn’t asking for her opinion. He steps toward me and runs his hands down my arms, leaving goosebumps on my skin. “I think you’ve found your dress.” He clears his throat and eyeballs Lucy, who’s still gawking from behind the cash register. “She’s going to need shoes and whatever else she wants.”
It takes Lucy a few seconds to start moving. “Uh—yeah, I think we have some satin pumps to go with that dress…do you still wear a seven?” She swallows down the air that she’s holding in as I look at her with sass. She doesn’t wait for me to answer before skating out of the room with us. Brandon looks like he’s about to devour my whole body; the hunger in his eyes makes me smile.
“So, do you like it? I figured you’d like a floor-length gown so no one could see anything they aren’t supposed to.”
He grabs my waist and plants his lips on mine; I snake my arms around the back of his neck and let him cradle me how he wants to. I hardly care about Lucy, who walks back into the room and shuffles her feet nervously at the sight of us kissing, because even though she never did anything to me…when she noticed I wasn’t the same person I used to be, she didn’t see a point in continuing our friendship.
Or whatever we had.
“Oh…” Lucy fakes a small cough and Brandon smiles against my lips. “Did you two need a minute alone? I can see what sort of bags we have to match the dress.”
I wave her off. “I don’t need a clutch, I have one. We’ll take the dress and the shoes, thanks.”
Brandon’s eyes glow as he looks at me. “You’re completely gorgeous,” he whispers before pecking my lips again. A wave of heat travels through my body as he grips my hips with force. “Go change, we’re going home.”
Fire flashes in his eyes.
That can only mean one thing.
I quickly take the dress off and hand it to him through the curtain. I hear Lucy trying to make small talk with him while she rings him up and he pays for everything; I make it a point to take longer than I need to just so I don’t have to get caught in an awkward situation. I’m not exactly fully comfortable with him paying for everything yet, but I can’t exactly do anything about that right now.
“Babe?” Brandon calls as I zip my jeans back up. “You ready?”
I pull the curtain back and step out. Lucy’s face is pale and surprised. “Ready. Thanks, Lucy.” I sweetly smile at her and let Brandon escort me out of the store.
“I thought she was your friend?” he asks me once we pull into the driveway of his condo. “Didn’t she move here for you or something?”
I shrug. “We had lunch, I spilled about everything that’s happened in my life—including Oliver and all of that—and she said we’d meet up again but wouldn’t answer my text or anything.” I know I sound like a child, but he asked and I’m not in the business of telling lies anymore. “I don’t know, maybe I was trying to make something out of nothing. We hadn’t seen each other for years and maybe I hoped she’d just come running back to me like nothing ever changed.”
He clicks his tongue. “I’m sorry, babe. I know what that’s like.”
I smile at him and the air thickens around us. The world around us is stopping just for us to take in this moment, and I like it. It’s simple…uncomplicated…whatever you want to call it. Even though I’m not fully trusting of him yet, I give him everything I have because…why the hell not? Just because I destroyed my own happiness last time doesn’t mean I’ll do it again with Brandon.
I’m a better person now.
I know what kind of life I want and I’m going to take it.
Brandon reaches out and holds my hand. “I think I can get used to this.”
“Used to what?”
His thumb rubs the inside of my palm. “Things going our way.”
I don’t say anything—I don’t want to jinx it.
I’m used to things going my way, but this is different.
Easier.
Better.
Stronger.
Forever.
Chapter Seventeen
Julie
Casey and I spent over an hour inside of the small off-the-road antique store, and it was actually pleasant enough where I wasn’t constantly reminded of his feelings for me. Oliver called a few times, but the service in the hills isn’t exactly spot-on, so I texted him that I would call him when I was in an area that I could make a phone call.
He didn’t like it, but that’s not what’s on my mind.
Brandon’s text is on my mind.
He told me that we’ll have to wait three months to get our problem taken care of.
“What’s wrong?” Casey asks as we turn back onto the winding roads that’ll lead us into Rockford. “You look li
ke someone just gave you a puppy and then took it right back.”
I laugh. “No, it’s the marriage thing. Which, by the way, I’m grateful for you not telling Oliver about. I thought I could get it taken care of before he came back, but looks like we have to wait three months for the paperwork to go through.”
He sucks in air through his front teeth. “Ouch, that’s a long time to keep a secret like that.”
“Don’t remind me.” I groan and put my head into my hands. “I’m going to have to tell him…it’s not fair to keep a secret like that.”
“He keeps secrets from you, Julie,” Casey warns. “Don’t forget that. This isn’t a life-or-death situation, and honestly, I don’t think he’ll care as much as you think. He’s going to be pissed at Brandon for…wait a minute. Exactly how did this happen?”
I don’t want to tell him my intimate details, but other than Staci—who’s been hard to reach after our lunch together—and Nora—who’s more involved with her new flame than her friends right now—I have no one to talk to about this. Oliver has become my best friend, but I don’t want to feel his disappointment when he finds out that I’ve been keeping this from him.
There’s no other way to deal with it than to just tell Casey the truth.
“Brandon got me drunk and then took me to an all-night chapel.”
Casey doesn’t like it any more than Oliver will. His face turns bright red, but he keeps his cool since he’s driving down windy roads. “He forced you to marry him? Exactly what kind of loser tricks a woman into marrying him? If someone doesn’t love you enough to marry you…”
He looks over at me and stops talking.
I blush. “I love Oliver enough to marry him.”
“I know you do.”
My gaze fixes on the passing trees outside my window. Realizing I haven’t called Oliver like I said I would, I find my phone and push the call button underneath his name. It rings a few times and when he answers, he’s out of breath.
“Julie?”
I feel my eyes narrow on accident. “It’s me.”
“Where are you?” he demands. “When I called you, I could barely hear you.”
“I texted you and told you Casey and I came up to Lake Reed so I could grab more journals. We ate lunch, I talked to Madrie, and we stopped at an antique store, and now we’re on our way back to Rockford.”
He doesn’t speak for a long time, but I can hear his breathing in the phone.
“I guess that’s okay.” His voice is small when he returns. “Is Casey behaving himself?”
“Yes.” I smile and keep my gaze focused outside. “You don’t have to worry about that. How’s California?”
He sighs. “Fucking horrible without you. I miss you, sunshine.”
I don’t know why, but I look over at Casey before answering him. “I miss you too. When will you be back home?”
“Well, the deals are done and I’ve signed everything imaginable, so I’m trying to get a flight out tonight, but it looks like it’ll be tomorrow morning before I’m able to get home.”
I see the sign for Rockford and tap my fingers on the console between us. “Okay, be safe. I’ll see you then, okay? We’re about to get home and I want to start studying since I missed my second class today.”
Oops.
“What? Why did you miss it?” His voice rises. “What happened?”
Way to go, Julie.
“Oh, Casey got into it with Brandon and Heather in the campus parking lot. Heather is in my Economics class…I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to try and make me change my schedule around when I worked so hard to get in.”
I wait for the fireworks.
“I’m sure Brandon had his reasons for whatever he did to Casey,” he says. “Just go home and study and stay out of trouble, okay? I love you.”
“I love you too.” I hang up before it goes on any longer. Casey looks nervous as he pulls the car into the parking garage of Oliver’s apartment building and shuts the engine off. I’m torn between two different emotions: I don’t want to make Casey feel awkward when I tell Oliver I love him, but I’m not going to stop just because he doesn’t like it.
Casey speaks first. “When is he coming back?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“Oh.” I can feel his sadness. “Well, we can order takeout Thai tonight and I can find something to do while you study.”
“Don’t you work?” I blurt. “I mean, don’t you need to go to work sometime?”
He shakes his head. “I haven’t found a job since I’ve graduated. I’ve been too busy…” The blush in his cheeks is enough to make me uneasy. “…chasing other things.” The light dims in his eyes for a few seconds as he rushes around to figure out what his next move is going to be. “Maybe you can help me look for one later?”
His smile warms my skin and it makes me feel weird. “Sure, what did you major in?”
“Education.” He blushes. “I wanted to be a teacher years ago.”
“A teacher!” I get excited and turn to face him. “That’s really awesome—why don’t you use that? I think you’d make a great teacher, Casey!”
He scoffs. “You hardly know me.”
“That’s not true.” The swell of my excitement dwindles. “I know you.”
“Not really, Julie. You know I’m a damn mess, and someone like me should not be teaching children right from wrong when I hardly know the difference myself.”
I have to change the subject.
Now.
“Oh, hey…” The wheels in my head are turning so fast that steam could billow from my ears any moment. “I forgot about the things we got at the antique store; they’re for the new house. Do you mind if we take them over there and I can get some pictures of the rooms? It’s a few blocks from my brother’s house. Do you remember where that is?”
He nods. “I remember. I thought you wanted to study?”
“This will be much more fun.” I try and lighten the mood with a huge smile, and it works for a few seconds until the car becomes silent again. I let him drive us toward Randy’s house, directing him to the new house as we get closer. When we pull into the driveway, his eyes look like they’re about to burst from his skull at the sight of it.
“Jesus, Oliver really outdid himself,” he murmurs.
I ignore him and climb out of the car, taking my keys from my pocket and opening the front door. Oliver had given me a spare key to the apartment and the new house before he left because he knew I wanted to come here and look around. My thoughts race back to when he first brought me here; the smile on his face was so genuine and happy that it hurt me to make it disappear. I couldn’t move in with him knowing that I could’ve been pregnant.
I’m so thankful that the results were negative and I wasn’t forced to become something I’m not ready to be yet.
Like a mother.
Or a wife.
But I’m already a wife and didn’t even know.
A chill runs down my spine and my body shakes. When we step into the foyer part of the house, our voices echo from the lack of furniture occupying the space. He whistles and shuts the door behind us, shoving his hands into his pockets and doing circles around me like a dance.
“This is crazy big.” His eyes reach the vaulted ceiling with double-paned skylights above us. “I mean, even for Oliver, this is crazy.”
I smile at the thought of how Casey and Oliver might be if their egos hadn’t gotten in the way. I’d imagine they’d be rough-and-tumble brothers, always playfully wrestling when no one was looking.
“It’s big, sure,” I mumble, because I don’t like drawing attention to those things. “I don’t care how big it is, but I do like that he bought it for us.”
Casey shakes his head and his sandy blond hair shuffles around his forehead. “And you don’t think that’s a little crazy? Buying a house for a woman you barely know?”
I should be offended. But Casey is right. It’s an absurd thing to do.
; But it feels right.
“I don’t know what it is.” I sigh and take my phone out, snapping pictures of the living room as we enter it. “But I know that Oliver will never let me down and he’ll always love me. Don’t ask me how I know.” I see the question in his eyes. “I just do. Oliver and I are meant to be together—the only people who need to believe in that are us, and we do.”
I can’t get what Oliver said about finding me again out of my mind.
“You’re right.” His gaze fixates on the half-open curtain in the living room window and he frowns. “You can’t deny something like that. I can just hope I find that someday.” His words are rushed, and he keeps looking out the curtain but I don’t care enough to figure out why.
I should’ve looked.
I really, really should’ve looked.
When I walk up the curved staircase to check out the second floor, I hear several loud bangs where I left him downstairs. “Are you okay?” I yell down the stairs. I hear shuffling before he mutters something about hitting his knee. I wonder if I should help him since he sounded like he’s in pain, but the master bedroom door is open, letting me peek just enough inside to reel me in.
The bedroom is almost as big as the entire pool house at Randy’s.
My mouth opens and I look at the four walls and then the white crown-vaulted ceiling. I make a mental note to ask Oliver to have a skylight installed in here, like the ones in the foyer, because it would remind me of the pool house even more and I need that feeling of home if I’m going to sleep here.
The walk-in closet beckons me inside and I run my fingertips along the lower solid oak shelves, imagining several shoe boxes full of pictures from years of memories inside the house. I smile when I reach the middle and think about putting a matching golden chaise inside of the closet like the one at the lake house… That’s when I hear more shuffling downstairs, and Casey starts to scream.
“No!” I freeze, my heart pounding as more shuffling noises rise up from the lower floor. “Julie! Run! Lock the door!”
