by Shaw, Vicki
We order a drink and a light snack. While we are waiting for our food to arrive my phone vibrates, and the sound letting me know, I have a text message goes off. I slip it out of my pocket and have a quick glance at the screen. Another message from an unknown number, I had totally forgotten to read the last one after I read the message from Martin. “Sorry,” I say to Martin without even looking up. I open the message icon and start to read the first message. WHAT THE FUCK. It must be a wrong number. It has to be a wrong number. There are only a few people who know anything about this. I quickly read the second message and type out a response.
I think you have the wrong number.
I hit the send button. No longer has it sent another message comes.
No, Roxie. I have the right number.
I drop the phone on the table and tears start to run down my face. Martin grabs my shaking hand. “Roxie, what’s wrong. Is someone hurt? Is it Carly?” I can’t answer. There is too much going through my head. I’m back in that ally when Mum got killed. I hear the shot. I can smell the rotting garbage and the tang of blood. I can hear the screams. I can feel someone shaking me. I’m pushing them away. I can hear people talking, it’s starting to get louder. I can faintly make out Martin’s voice. It sounds like he is talking to someone, but I can’t hear anyone talking back.
“Roxie. Come on the car is here to pick us up.” I don’t know how much time has passed. I vaguely feel Martin picking me up, putting me in a car and getting in next to me. I don’t know whose car it is or who is driving all I know right now is I have strong arms wrapped around me and Martin whispering words in my ear.
It’s not possible. Everyone involved in Mum’s death is in jail or dead. The ones in jail are in there for years. There is no way any of them could be out or have a phone, or for that matter know where to find me and get my number. What the hell is going on? The only ones who know what happened all them years ago are Steve and Carly, and I know they wouldn’t send me these messages.
My mind is still racing when Martin tells me we are home and carries me up to my room. Carly is at the door and follows us up. “What the hell happened?” she is just about yelling at Martin. “Let me get her changed and into bed then I’ll come downstairs and I’ll tell you what I know. Maybe you might be the one who can clue me in with what the hell is going on.”
Martin changes me into an old t-shirt that was sitting at the end of my bed and tucks me in. He takes his shoes off, climbs in behind me and pulls me to his chest. The warmth is finally starting to seep back into my bones from his heat. I feel safe in his strong arms. I can smell his manly aftershave and the sent I now know is his. My muscles start to relax a little and some of the built up stress I’ve been holding in starts to dissipate. I don’t want to think about the meaning just yet, there is too much other stuff in my head right now, but in Martins's arms it feels like home; safe, warm and loving. With that thought, I drift off into a very restless sleep.
SIX
Roxie
I look around, and I’m lying in a hospital, well I think it’s a hospital. It smells like one and I can hear the beep of monitors. I can hear people talking, but I can’t open my eyes. There are two males and a female voice, but I don’t recognise them.
“We need her to wake-up so she can tell us what she knows. You don’t know how urgently we need this information. Her mother hasn’t been the only one killed like this in the last month.” The first male voice is saying.
‘Sorry, we had to sedate her. She has been through hell. Every time she has woken the last two days she has been screaming. We couldn’t keep her in that state because it would do more harm and may cause her to block it all out then you wouldn’t be able to get anything from her. Is that what you want? Hopefully when she wakes up this time, everything may have processed more, and her mind will be ready to deal with it.” The female voice whispers. She doesn’t sound very impressed with them.
“Look” the second male voice sounds like he is trying to hold his temper. “We know she saw her mother killed, but we need to move fast on this because more people are at risk.”
I sit up, short of breath looking around expecting to be in the hospital, but thank God I’m not. It takes me a few seconds to realise that I’m in Carly’s spare room and remember what happened. I look behind me to see Martin is no longer in the bed.
I get up and walk to the door when I can hear Carly and Martin talking. I can’t make out what they’re saying just their voices. I slowly and as quietly as I can start to walk down the stairs. I get to the fourth one from the bottom and sit down. Carly and Martin are in the lounge room whisper, shouting at each other about me.
“Carly all I saw was two messages from an unknown number. One saying something like: You thought you could put us away and get away with it well you’re wrong. And the other just said. No, Roxie. I have the right number. So whoever sent them knows her name. You know her past did anything happen to make this person come after her?” Carly lets out a sigh as if she has been holding her breath. “From your reaction I know you know something Carly so out with it.”
“Look, Martin, all I’m going to say is yes something happened to her when she was a teenager, but that’s it. It’s her story to tell you if she wants you to know. I think we should call the police and let them deal with it.”
“I have already rang some buddies of mine that work for the AFP. They want me to get them the phone so they can look into it but without knowing what they are dealing with it’s going to make their work harder. I don’t want to stress Roxie out any more than she already is. You didn’t see her when she read the messages.”
At that moment, I decided to walk in. They both turn to look at me and Carly rushes over and pulls me into her arms. “I’m so sorry Rox. Maybe this has nothing to do with what happened, and it’s just someone who is trying to scare you.” I step back from Carly and turn around to Martin.
“I can’t go into all the details because it is just too painful to remember it all again. It has taken me years to stop having the nightmares and being scared every time I go out. If you are willing to hear the brief facts, then I’m willing to tell you. But I need a drink first.”
Martin puts his arm around my shoulder, and we walk into the kitchen. I sit on one of the wooden bar stools at the breakfast bar while Carly finds the stash of the expensive vodka and glasses. She pours three glasses and sets one down in front of Martin and me.
“I’ll have this shot with you then I’ll leave you two alone so you can talk. To better nights, finding these scumbags and hurting them.” We clinked our glasses together and downed the shot. A shiver went down my back, and my throat burnt as the vodka went down. Carly walked around to me and gave me a quick hug. “If you need me I’ll be up in my room. Even if I’m asleep wake me up.”
“Thanks, Carly but I think I’ll be fine. I’ll see you in the morning.” As Carly walks away, I think about what a great friend she has always been. From the time, we met until now. She has been there for me through everything, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it all without her. The days, weeks and months after Mum had died Carly was the only one who could pull me out of my depression. She never gave up on me even when I tried to push her away like everyone else. Dad was there, but he was dealing with his grief and didn’t know how to deal with a hormonal, depressed teenager that wouldn’t talk and wouldn’t come out of her room. Carly would sit in my room for days with me until I would go out with her for an hour or two. She was so persistent that the hour or two ended up being all day over time. She would be there every night when I would wake-up screaming from my sleep. I tried everything to get her to go away so I could drown in my sadness.
I take a deep breath and clump my hands together on the breakfast bar to try to stop them from shaking and start to talk. “When I was fifteen all of the Mum’s family had decided it was time for a family reunion and a holiday, so they all flew over from the USA. We had a BBQ with all the family and our closest friend
s at home. The next day the weather was perfect for a picnic, so Mum and I went to the shops to get some stuff to pack for lunch. We were walking out to the car. It was parked in the alley off the side because the parking lot was full. As we got to the car, there was a man there that shot Mum. She died right there in the dirty alley. At first, the cops thought it was just a random mugging gone wrong but after a while, they found more to it. Mum was working for this firm, doing research when she stumbled onto something. No one knows if she knew what she had found or not, but it was what got her killed. The AFP had been after these people for years, but they could never get the information they needed to put them away. I was the only witness to the shooting, I picked the guy that shot Mum out of a lineup and testified against him. He was put him away for 15 years. In turn while the AFP were digging into Mum’s life they found the stuff that brought them all down. I guess they blame me for them all being in jail for a long time.”
“I’m so sorry Roxie. That would have been so hard for you and your father to go through. As for these messages, you have gotten, I have already rang a buddy of mine that works for the AFP. Do you have the name of the man who killed your Mum so I can give him the info? He is going to look into it. He also wants your phone to see if they can find where the messages came from. I’m sure Carly is right, and it is just someone trying to scare you. Until we find out for sure, I would like it if you stayed with me. My building has security so no one can get in without getting buzzed up.” He looks worried. I hate that I have had to tell him. I haven’t told anyone. I didn’t even tell Steve about it. I don’t know if I want to stay here with Carly because she knows all the details that I left out from telling Martin. I couldn’t tell him everything. I didn’t want him to run or think that I’m weak. In some ways, I don’t want to stay here because if they know where I am I don’t want Carly to be involved or to be put in danger. I couldn’t cope if I lost someone else I loved. Me staying with Martin is a good idea because no one knows where he lives not even Carly so it will be harder to find me. However, I don’t want to stay with Martin because I don’t want him to think that I have changed my mind about keeping our relationship casual. Now with these messages coming through it just makes me believe even more that I need to get on the road. That way I would always be on the move, and it would be harder for anyone to keep track of me.
“Thank you, Martin, it’s a very kind offer. I will accept, but there have to be some conditions. It can only be as friends. I still don’t want a full-on relationship; this has just shown me more reasons why it would be a bad idea. Also, I would like to sleep in your guest room not in yours.” I can see Martin is disappointed by what I have just said, but he is just going to have to get used to it. I can’t handle anyone else’s feelings or extra stress at the moment.
“Ok, Roxie, I will agree to those conditions for now, but I have a couple of my own. I don’t want you going out by yourself anywhere and when you do go out, I would like to know where you are going and how long you’re going to be gone. I know how it sounds but until we know if there is any real danger I need to know you’re safe.” It is so sweet how Martin wants to protect me. If I were looking for a relationship, it wouldn’t take much for me to fall head over heels for Martin. He’s hot, mind-blowing in bed and understanding. What more could you want from a man?
“Thank you. Right now, I need a friend or two to help me through this. I’ll just go and tell Carly what is going on and pack a bag.”
When we get to Martin’s house, he takes my bag up to his guest room and shows me where everything is. I’m so grateful that he is being understanding, being a friend and not trying to push for sex. It wouldn’t take much for him to get me into his bed for a quick release. The sexual tension is still thick in the air, and the sparks still cause a jolt every time we touch, but I know I’m just not up to it tonight, well morning. My mind and body are exhausted.
I have a quick shower and go to find Martin. When I find him, he is in his office on the phone. I’m standing at the door when he looks up. He gives me a pantie melting smile that makes me weak at the knees. He waves me over and points to a chair across from his desk and indicates for me to sit. It’s only then that I realise he is talking about me,
“Yes, that’s his name. He was the one charged with her mother’s murder.” He stops talking and must be listening to what the person on the other end is saying. I told him the details and the names of the people that were responsible for ordering the hit and murder on my Mum in the car on the way here.
“Yeah, she is staying here until we know what is going on. Even if it is just someone trying to scare her, they still need to be caught. You better make sure you guys are the ones to find them because if I find them you can have what’s left after I’m finished. Believe me there will not be much.” Another purse from Martin. “Whatever. You know I’m not joking around with this.” Martin turns around to face the window. “Yeah. Let me know as soon as you know anything. Anytime day or night. I’ll keep my phone on me.” He hangs up without saying goodbye. I don’t know if I should ask him who that was or not. Martin turns around and starts to tell me without me asking which I’m pleased about. I don’t want things to be held from me.
“That is an old friend from the AFP. He is going to come over first thing in the morning to get your phone and have a quick word with you. If you’re not up to talking to him, just say so. I’ll be here with you. He is going to bring a new phone over for you to use while they have yours.” While he was talking, he walked behind me and started to rub my shoulders. It feels amazing, and I feel my body start to relax. All of a sudden I can’t keep my eyes open and let out a big, full open mouthed yawn which didn’t go un-noticed by Martin. “Come on let’s get you into bed. It’s been a very long night, and it’s already 2 am.” Before I can say, anything Martin has me in his arms and is carrying me to my room. He puts me to bed much the same as he did earlier at Carly’s only this time he kisses me on my forehead. He said goodnight and walked to the door stopping before he was all the way out. He turned around and looked at me. “If you need anything then you know where I am. Have a good sleep babe.” He turns off the light and shuts the door.
I don’t know how long I toss and turn before I finally fall asleep. My brain just would not shut down even with all the techniques they gave me after mum died.
“Mum, Mum. Hold on they are getting help. You can’t leave me. Please, Mum.” There are tears running down my face. I’m shaking mum trying to wake her up. There are people all around us. Someone tries to pick me up, but I’m not letting go of Mum. There is no way I’m going anywhere while Mum is still lying on the dirty ground. “Come on love. We need you to move away so we can help your Mum. How about you come and sit in the ambulance and let me have a look at you and make sure you’re not hurt. My friends are going to look after your Mum ok.” I let go of Mum and gentle hands help me stand up. The woman walks me over to a waiting ambulance. We get in the back doors and I sit on the bed. She starts looking me over. “Is any of this blood yours? Are you hurt anywhere?” I just shake my head. I can’t take my eyes off where Mum is. I can’t see her. There are too many people around her. The ambulance officer is taking my blood pressure and is talking in a soft voice. I’m not listening to what she is saying. The people around Mum all stand and start to walk away. I start screaming. “No, you can’t leave her. Go back. You have to help her. Mum. Mum.” I try to get up, but hands are holding me in place.
“Roxie, Roxie, wake-up. It’s Martin. You’re safe you’re at my house. Come on Roxie.” I wake-up in Martins's arms. He has me pulled tight to his bare chest. I try to get my trembling and sobbing under control. Martin is stroking my hair and whispering Shh in my ear. After a few minutes, I have calmed. I pull back a little but not totally out of Martins strong arms and look up into his eyes. I can’t fully make out what I see in them. There is compassion, hurt, anger, passion and what I think is love. It can’t be love I’m seeing because there is no way he can love me.
We haven’t known each other for that long. I move my head closer so I can place a kiss on his soft lips. It was only meant to be a thank you kiss, but I couldn’t pull away. I’m still looking in Martins's eyes and as soon as our lips meet his eyes turn to pure passion. I deepen the kiss just a little, but Martin pulls away.
“Please, Martin I need you. Being in your arms makes me feel safe and helps me forget. I just want, no I need to forget even if it’s just for a little while.” I start moving my hands up and down his back feeling all his muscles ripple under my touch. I move forward again so I can kiss his lips. He doesn’t move away this time, but he also isn’t kissing me back the way I want him to. I run my tongue along the seam of his lips, and I’m awarded with a groan. He pulls back and cups my face in his hands. He searches my eyes. I don’t know what he is trying to find.
“Rox, you have no idea how much I want you right now, but I don’t want you to feel that you have to do this. I don’t want to make things worse for you.” I bring my hands up, place them on his and bring them down, so they are resting between us. “Martin, no one makes me do anything I don’t want to do. When I’m with you, you make it better. Nothing you do could make it worse.” I move forward so I can wrap my legs around him. I can feel just how much he wants me already.
I start to kiss him again and this time he returns it and starts to take over. I part my lips, so his tongue can enter my mouth. The kiss starts off slow and sweet but doesn’t take long to turn heavy and passionate. Martin pulls my t-shirt up and over my head and drops it on the floor next to the bed. He slowly moves us up the bed and lies me down on the pillows. I keep my legs wrapped around his hips. Moving from my lips Martin kisses a line across my jaw and down my neck until he gets to my budded nipple. When his hot wet lips seal around it, a delicious chill slides down my back to my throbbing core. I run my hand through his hair pulling just a little, but it’s just enough for him to let out a moan. Reaching between us I run my hand down his neck and shoulders, over his hard pecs and all the way down over his six pack to the V that will lead me to my ultimate goal. My fingers brush his already straining cock, and he sucks in a breath.
