When I thought about the money that came from my mom’s life insurance policy to fund my schooling here, I almost wanted to cry.
HawkRidge High was an elite academy an hour away from Durham, NC. It had seen no less than three presidents spend their formative years here in their century of torturing students, and future city slickers who would ruin the environment as well as the economy were undoubtedly in my class as well as those below me.
I wasn’t just at school. I was in a kind of ‘1984’ playpen with kids who were on track to have a real influence on our society—and that sure as hell wasn’t great, considering, as Mellors had said himself, that most of the fuckers here were grunts.
But they were rich grunts.
With powerful daddies, and that was all that mattered.
At thirty grand a term, if we didn’t have to pay the remaining two terms of my fees, we’d be able to save my grandmother’s home.
Thirty grand was a shit ton of money to anyone, well, anyone except for the pupils here. I knew some of the girls had purse collections worth more than that, and here I was, trying to save up a measly twelve thousand dollars to save my grandmother’s home from repossession on a part-time wage…
There was no justice in this world, and I knew that made me a hypocrite considering Coach Mellors was about to cover up my stupidity.
“What about what happened today?” I questioned hesitantly.
He shook his head, his disappointment evident. “You’re going to get checked out. I want a full bill of health before you get back on the field. Then, you’re going to work your ass off on the shit that matters. You even cross the line once? I’m going to make you wish you’d never been born.”
I frowned at him, not in irritation but in confusion. “Why are you doing this, Coach?”
“Because, idiocy aside, you’re a good kid. Not many of the little bastards here give a flying fuck about their grandmothers, yet here you are, working on trying to save her.” He narrowed his eyes then pointed a finger at me. “You’d better not be bullshitting me about that, Drew.”
My eyes rounded. “Why the hell would I? You can ask my boss how many hours I work if you want.”
Mellors squinted at me, then he asked, “This why I ain’t seen your daddy around much?”
Unease filled me. “Kind of.”
He jerked his chin up. “What else is going on?”
“Around about the time he started taking more shifts, he met someone. He hangs around with her a lot.”
Mellors grunted but he didn’t comment. “You’re a good kid, Drew. Don’t make me regret helping you out.”
My throat felt like a shit ton of cotton balls had been stuffed down it.
“I won’t let you down.”
“You’d better fucking not,” he growled, as he grabbed the door and dragged it open. “I want to know who your dealer is.”
I winced but knew there was no way I could prevaricate—he wouldn’t let me. “Sarah Dunham.”
“Little bitch.” Mellors dipped his head. “Your chest still tight?”
“No.”
“Better hope you haven’t goddamn damaged it,” he rasped. “That shit can wreck your heart.”
Said organ took up residence with the cotton balls in my throat. “Fuck.”
Mellors narrowed his eyes at me, but before he stormed off, I heard him grind out, “Yeah. Fuck.”
❖
Max
I watched her eat every bite of the bar she didn’t want, wincing with her when she had to wash it down with some water to swallow, and only then did I start the engine again.
Before I’d met Jessa, it’d been ages since I’d driven, and on the few opportunities I’d had to drive her car, I’d come to realize it felt good to be behind the wheel again. My mom’s vehicle had been a piece of shit, but it had been a mode of transportation and had, in its own way, represented freedom.
I’d missed driving, had missed it more than I’d realized. It was even nicer not having to worry about gas or having to pay for that gas. The thought had my lips curving down at the sides, but when Jessa pressed her hand to my leg, the move not only stunned the shit out of me, but it also made me hard as a fucking rock.
Only trouble was, when I glanced at her to see what the hell was going on, I saw her fear and panic and knew she was only touching me for comfort.
Comfort.
Great.
Exactly what I wanted to engender in her. Not. But, equally, I didn’t not want to be that for her, either.
Talk about confusing.
Jessa was good people, the best, and the things she made me feel? God, those feelings were changing me in a way that a lifetime in a shit neighborhood in Charlotte should have made rock solid.
I gnawed on the inside of my cheek, because I knew being a friend was all I could ever be to Jessa. She had Sam, and even worse for me, though I was happy for her, he loved Jessa. Loved her so much it was painfully obvious to see.
With a sigh, I acted on one of the things she made me feel. Braving her potential rejection, I reached down and entwined my fingers with hers. Her palm was clammy, her fingers too, but I didn’t mind. I was a guy. I’d been dealing with clammy hands since puberty and had only recently grown out of that irritating phase.
The silence between us was pleasant. There was no pressure to talk, and I enjoyed that. I enjoyed being with her even though it felt like my entire world was crumbling around me.
No matter what she said, I knew the principal was going to figure out a way to blame me for the drugs, and no matter what, even if it made zero sense, I’d end up being expelled.
My moments with Jessa were drawing to a close, and what stunned me the most was how much that saddened me.
I lived in my father’s home, and we were about twenty minutes outside of town. Just as I made the turn for HawkRidge High, Jessa’s phone buzzed.
“Sam? Oh, thank God! Why didn’t you answer my calls before?”
Whatever he said had her gritting her teeth.
“Where are you? Where’s Drew?” She frowned. “You’re not in the hospital? Okay. We’ll be at the school in about ten minutes.” A pause. “You’re playing in the game? The fuck? Sam, do not tell me you left Drew alone!”
My eyes widened at that because shit, that was a douche move, and I hadn’t thought Sam would be like that—game or not.
Pursing my lips in disapproval, I kept my own irritation to myself. Jessa was already on edge and I didn’t want to make shit worse for her while she was still on shaky ground.
She’d been tougher than nails earlier on my behalf. But I’d seen her break down over her cat yesterday, had watched her mourn, and that cloud of misery had been over her this morning too. Until Derick had planted drugs in her locker. Until I’d freaked out. Her response made me realize I meant something to Jessa. She was open and warm, but not that open and warm that she’d take on someone else’s crap, get her mom involved, and go to war on their behalf unless they meant something to her. I’d seen her try to help Laura Harrison, but she’d left it to Sam to deal with. With me? She was engaged all the way.
She cared.
The thought had me gnawing on the inside of my cheek again. I wanted her to care, no one had before, and it inspired dangerous thoughts and feelings.
Hope ricocheted inside me, even though I knew it was stupid. Hope was the most perilous emotion out there. Capable of destroying worlds and breaking hearts, and in this, I knew it was beyond idiotic.
Jessa loved Sam, and worse, she loved Drew too. She’d told me that herself.
I wasn’t even sure what she was going to do with that love. Women didn’t have two men, did they? Not as far as I knew, and I’d lived in a cesspool of a district where all kinds of crap went down.
I knew one of the neighbors had six women chained up in his basement when the police had stormed in and released them. Then there were fuck buddies, and things like that, but I knew Jessa wouldn’t consider it. She was too romantic. It was
in her nature. With all the literature she read, there was no way sex was the only item on her agenda.
As I thought about my place in her life, from the corner of my eye, I saw her disconnect the call, then ram her balled fist into her thigh. Who she wanted to punch was something I’d missed.
“Why is he still at school?” I asked, my voice husky.
“It wasn’t a heart attack,” Jessa whispered, and I heard the tears of relief in her voice. “It was palpitations, but Sam freaked out and texted me right away. Then something happened…”
I frowned, took the turn off for the academy. “What happened?”
She clenched her jaw, and for a second, I wasn’t sure if she was going to tell me.
I wasn’t certain if she trusted me with whatever was happening, and the thought decimated me. Just as I’d started to think I meant something—
“Sam whispered something about Adderall.”
Her voice was small, and when I tilted my head to look at her, I saw that her shoulders were hunched and rounded.
“Drew’s not the kind of guy to take that shit, Jessa,” I murmured, attempting to offer comfort.
“Isn’t he? He’s been burning the candle at both ends, Max. He works and trains and studies. That’s pretty much it.”
“So do I, but I’m not on drugs,” I told her calmly, and the truth was, I hadn’t seen the signs. “Adderall’s speed, isn’t it?”
I watched her bring it up on her phone. “Methamphetamines,” she confirmed.
“He doesn’t look spaced out or hyper,” I reasoned.
“No, but I can see him doing something stupid like this.” She gritted her teeth. “I’m going to kill him.”
I curled my lips inward to hide my smile. “He’s just had some kind of episode—”
“I don’t care. I’ll fucking kill him before the drugs do!”
Pulling up into a parking space, I reached for her hand before she could grab the door handle and launch herself out of the car.
“Jessa, calm down,” I told her, watching her stiffen as outrage crossed her features before she turned to glower at me.
“Calm. Down?” she bit off. “He might have died tonight.”
“And he didn’t.” I cocked a brow at her. “Was Sam whispering? Was he trying to hide what he was saying?”
She scowled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, could he speak about it in the open or was he hiding it?”
“He whispered it,” she spat, narrowing her eyes at me—she wanted to let her anger loose and I was making her think. I didn’t mind her shooting the messenger, not when she’d thank me for it later.
“Well, what does that tell you?” I reasoned calmly. “Drew’s not in trouble. Yet. If you go storming in there and start screaming at him, you’ll wreck shit for everyone.”
Her nostrils flared, but in her eyes, I saw that she knew I was correct. Her jaw worked for a second, cranking left to right as though she was physically wanting to chew into something. For an endless moment, I wasn’t sure if my words would hold any weight until she blew out a breath and dipped her chin.
I reached over and cupped her cheek. It was an intimate move, a wrong move between two friends, but I couldn’t stop myself. Her dark hair rubbed against my fingers like glossy silk, but I hadn’t reached out to feel those bouncy curls of hers. Even if I was happy I had. Instead, I squeezed her chin gently.
“Keep your cool,” I instructed. “You could hurt Drew if you don’t.”
She stared at me for a seemingly endless moment, and then she nodded. I dropped my hand, leaned over, and pulled the handle, releasing her door so she could step out. That move had her frowning. “What are you doing?”
I frowned back. “What?”
“You’re coming with me, aren’t you?”
Surprised, I shrugged in response. “You want me there?”
“Of course!” She heaved a sigh, and under her breath, mumbled, “Men.”
My lips curved, but I climbed out, relieved that she wanted me there, and after I passed over her keys, she flicked the alarm and we walked away from the lot toward the faculty building.
HawkRidge had an unusual layout. You stepped through the building itself to approach the basketball court, and then that took you to the locker rooms before you could head out onto the football field. Accessing the field was only possible that way as a student. On game days, they opened up another gate, keeping things tight on the security front. Though this place wasn’t teeming with guards, I knew some kids had their own security on them. Had seen a few Rock-wannabes sitting in too-small chairs in classrooms as they guarded the kids of politicians and the like.
“Why’s there no space between Hawk and Ridge?”
The question had Jessa jolting to a halt. “Huh?”
Her confusion was amusing to witness, and I knew her thoughts were focused utterly on Drew—I knew how that felt. Her focus had been on me this afternoon.
I repeated my question, then jerked my chin up at the sign on the school building which, with its gothic stone, looked as though it had been hanging around as long as Harvard. That stone, as old as it was, told the truth of the academy’s past. Once upon a time, it had been Hawk Ridge High. Now, aside from on that particular engraving, there was no space between the two words.
“Oh.” She blinked. “Principal Sommers said it made more sense in the ‘hashtag’ era.” She made finger quotes that had me snickering.
“That’s what he said?”
“Yeah. Dick.” She shook her head, then tightened her fingers on mine. “Come on. I need to see him.”
We hauled ass and made it to the boys’ locker room in less than three minutes. The corridors were empty, totally silent, and I wished they were like this all the damn time.
Jessa, uncaring that this space was for people with dicks only, stormed into the changing rooms. As she did, the guy I recognized as the Coach headed out from another room.
He narrowed his eyes at her then at me, and motioned with his thumb at the door. “He’s in there, and you shouldn’t be, Jessa. How many times have I told you—”
She stacked her hands on her hips. “Coach Mellors, it’s a human right to have someone by your side when you’ve been injured.”
Mellors’ lips twitched. “Has Amnesty International formally included that in their mission statement?”
Jessa squinted at him. “Drew needs me.”
“He needs his head looked at. That’s what he needs,” Coach mumbled, but he shook his head. “Go on through.”
We moved ahead, but before I could enter, he grabbed my arm. “Why didn’t you show up in gym class?”
I gave him a false smile. “I hurt my pinkie.”
Mellors ground his teeth. “Had enough of you dickheads for the day. You friends with Drew?” When I nodded, he spat, “I gotta get back onto the field. You help Jessa keep his head screwed on right.”
I wanted to ask, ‘or what?’ But I didn’t. Instead, I just murmured, “I’ll do my best.”
❖
Sam
Seeing Drew go down affected my nerves so much that I was fucking up left and right. The team carried me for once, and we won. I wasn’t sure how, but fuck, we won, and I was happy, but I also didn’t give that much of a shit.
The minute I could, after I’d shaken the hands of Lone Elm’s team, I rushed back into the changing rooms, leaving the squad celebrating on the field with the cheerleaders, and headed for the medical room.
When I finally made it away from the crowd’s raucous cheers, I heard shouting. Then, as I took another few steps, I recognized Jessa’s voice.
Hustling my ass, I stormed in, and spying Jessa’s bright pink face, as well as the way she was panting like she’d been running a goddamn marathon, knew she’d only shut up because I was here.
But the second she saw me, she rounded on me.
“And you! Don’t you get me started on you. What the fuck were you thinking?”
I shot Drew a
look. He seemed uneasy but amused. It was hard to be serious when Jessa was yelling at us. It was like Scooby Doo being told off by Scrappy. But if we smiled or laughed, she’d have our balls.
Plus, I’d lop off my own balls if I hurt her.
This woman was mine. I’d protect her with my goddamn life. But that didn’t mean she could shriek at me like this mess was all my fault.
“What the hell did I do?” I growled at her. My emotions were all over the place and I had adrenaline pinging its way through my body, which wasn’t making things any better. I didn’t need her yelling at me and making this situation a thousand times worse. I also didn’t need her yelling and broadcasting all this shit to the rest of the team when they would eventually wander in—although I wasn’t sure when that would be.
I hated yelling. Hated it with a passion. Before my dad had taken an extended sabbatical, my parents had always been screaming at one another. Now, of course, they barely talked. And I knew why.
Cheaters sucked. My mom was the worst role model in the world, and she set herself up like a fucking saint. Was it any wonder I had zero respect for her?
Jessa ground her teeth at my words, but I watched her visibly restrain herself from yelling when that was all she clearly wanted to do. “You had to know he was hiding something from us.”
“Jessa, he didn’t know.”
She squinted at Drew. “You tell each other everything.”
My jaw hardened at that. “Apparently not.”
Drew winced. “I’m sorry.”
“Sometimes, sorry just isn’t enough, Drew.” Her words were low, her voice husky. I could hear her hurt, hear her pain, and I agreed with her. One hundred fucking percent. “What if we’d lost you tonight?”
His gulp didn’t ease my fury with him. “I-I didn’t think. Nothing would have happened—”
“No? How do you know that?” She folded her arms across her chest. “Sam thought you were having a heart attack when you were only having palpitations.” Her nostrils flared. “The kinder of two evils I suppose, but I’m not enamored with either option, dammit.”
Dare You To Keep Me: HawkRidge High II Page 3
