by Rae B. Lake
“Yes, I need to set up the TV service and phone service for the duration of this patient’s stay.” I listened as the man on the other end of the phone ask me how I would be paying for it. I pulled out my credit card and read the numbers to him, a bit pissed that he took so long to get the numbers correct. It was sixteen numbers how hard could it be to catch them all as I said them. I picked up the remote and flipped through the channels that signified that the cable was now available in Daria’s room.
“You really didn’t need to do that. I was perfectly fine just laying here and getting some much needed rest.” Daria folded her hands over her chest and laid back heavily.
“Is it really that you don’t want people doing things for you or do you just think that you are a burden to everyone?” I was really interested in her response, surely she couldn’t have self-esteem that low, it couldn’t be.
“I just don’t want to bother anyone, I don’t like it.”
“Well, while I’m around you are just going to have to get used to it.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Fine.” I looked out the window and towards my bike. I could just leave now and get out of her hair, I really didn’t need this shit. I could do that, but as I let the tension drain out of my arms I knew that I wouldn't. There was nothing pressing happening at the club that I could help with right now and there was just so much more that this enigma called Daria could reveal to me. I needed to know more about her.
“Tell me, when you aren’t here, laid up and counting the cracks in the ceiling, what are you doing? You don’t seem like the type of person who likes to party it up every night.”
“How did you know I was here because of a party?” She looked at me, a mix of confusion and accusation swirling in her eyes.
Oh fuck, I wasn’t supposed to know that she was at that party. She hadn’t told anyone, how did I screw this up so bad?
“Oh, well I didn’t, I was just speaking in general. Is that what happened? Did you get shot while you were at a party?”
“Actually, I did, but you can’t tell anyone about that ok?” She looked at me with pleading eyes. Little did she know that I had more reason than she could ever know to keep quiet. It would blow up in my face if I ever decided to let anyone know that she was at an MC party when she got shot. Oh, and I was the one who shot her.
“Of course, anything you say to me is confidential. Tell me about this party.” I sat down on the edge of the bed, curious to hear how often she did go partying. Was she a lounge type of girl? Did she enjoy clubs or did she just like to hit the bars?
“Well if I’m being totally honest, it was completely my fault that I got shot.”
“What? How the hell do you figure that?”
She laughed a bit, “I’m kidding of course, I know it’s not my fault but I never go to parties, I don’t like to be around large groups of people. I also don’t like people that drink excessively, nor do I like wearing clothes that show my body in any way. I don’t like loud music. I don’t like any of it.”
“Ah, I see, so what were you doing there?”
“My roomies' sort of pressured me into going and I just wanted to keep them happy. They do so much for me.” She looked away almost whimsically.
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I’d previously told them that I would think about going, so when I decided that I didn’t want to go they really gave me a hard time about it.”
“Again, they are just becoming my bestest friends,” I replied sarcastically.
“Nah, it’s ok. They were just looking out for me.”
“Please explain that to me, because the way it sounds right now, they seem to be only about themselves.”
“The girls think that I’m too secluded, especially since my work is online. I rarely go outside, they thought that getting out would be good for me.”
“Tell me more about this online job that you have, what do you do?” I was genuinely interested.
“Actually, I own my own website building company. I mostly deal with startups looking to reach new heights. I create websites where folks can market whatever goods they have. I hate to toot my own horn but I’m actually pretty good at it too. At least I think I am.” She smiled a bit, her eyes lighting up, clearly she had a lot of pride in her work.
“What’s it called? Is it something that I might have heard of?”
“No, I’m nowhere near that big. I never will be. I’m happy just getting a few clients here and there. Besides creating the websites used to make me really happy, but lately, most of the clients that I deal with have really begun to weigh on me.” Daria let out a heavy sigh, the air blowing up and ruffling her hair. I was mesmerized by her locks.
“I hope that things change for you. I would hate for you to give up something that you love doing just because folks can be assholes.”
“It would be, but I’ll live.”
“What about trying to get a few people to work with you? They could take on the brunt of the pain when it comes to talking to the clients.”
“No!” Daria basically screamed out before I could even get the complete suggestion out of my mouth. “I don’t need anyone's help when it comes to my business, if it won’t work for just me then it doesn't need to work.”
I stood up, trying to put a bit of separation between myself and her. I wanted to see her entire reaction. “Why don’t you want any help? It doesn’t mean you’re weak.”
She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, if I didn’t know any better I’d think she was going to try to get up. “Look, I don’t need help from anyone. I can do it on my own.”
“Whoa, settle down I’m sure that you can do it on your own.” I put my hands up in a surrendering motion.
She looked up at me and I could see the regret on her face before she even opened her mouth again. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have blown up at you for that. I shouldn’t have-”
I put one finger over her mouth to silence her, I didn’t want to hear one more apology from her. She didn’t want help? Fine, I don’t know why, but it wasn’t something that she had to be sorry about. I watched her mouth close. Most women would be appalled that I was touching their face and silencing them but not Daria. She submitted immediately, I wondered what those plump pink lips would look like with a ball gag between them.
Perfect, she would look absolutely perfect.
I shook my head to get rid of the thought, but it was too late. The image was already floating around freely in my head. I would have some great dreams tonight.
“Stop apologizing, it’s your choice if you don’t want help. I may not agree but that is your choice.”
“Ok, I just don’t want to be beholden to anyone. My mother accepted help from someone a long time ago and the only thing that she got was pregnant with me and a very expensive drug habit.” She reached up and grabbed onto the IV pole that was at the top of her bed, using it to try and stand up. Instinctively, I started to walk over to her but remembered how she was so stuck on not wanting any help. I guess that getting out of bed after a gunshot to the chest was included in that too.
She tried at least three different times to get up but got nowhere. I waited to see if she would call the nurse, but of course she didn’t. Eventually she gave up and just sat back on the bed.
“Are you going to bite my head off if I help you get out of bed?”
She looked over to me and smiled a bit as she raised her hand so that I had something to grab on to. I took it gingerly and tried to raise her out of the bed. She was so light, that even the small tug I gave her had her flying out of bed and the stretch of her scar caused her to wince in pain.
“Oh fucking hell, I’m so sorry, maybe we should wait for the nurse to come in and help you.” I looked into her eyes, hoping she wasn’t crying. Thankfully she wasn’t.
“No, no it’s fine. I’m up now, I really need to get to the bathroom.”
“What, you were just going to sit there if I didn’t help?
”
“No, I’m sure I would have been able to stand up before it was too late.”
I watched her hobble over towards the bathroom and a laugh burst out of me, I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had me laughing like this but damn it felt good.
Chapter 13
“It’s raw!” The infamous Gordon Ramsay screamed out at a contestant who was running around trying to get the risotto to the right consistency.
“This is crazy, people really let him scream in their face like that? I could never do that shit. I had a hard enough time letting my drill sergeant scream in my face during basic training and that was what he was there for.” I sat back in the chair next to her bed and took a long drink of my water.
“What? He’s the master. If you want to be a top chef, you want Gordon Ramsay to scream in your face. I mean, have you seen his food? It’s a freaking masterpiece.” She reached over and grabbed the bag of Doritos off the table.
For the past few days I had been coming back to see Daria, I’d discovered so much about her. Unfortunately, I was at war with myself, as much as I tried to tell myself that I would stop coming to see her, I wasn’t able to stop. She was the brightest part of my world, a part of my world that I didn’t want to mix with the other side of me. When I was with her I didn’t feel like I was such a failure or that I was such a fuck up.
“A masterpiece? How can a steak be a masterpiece? It’s a dead animal fried up on a plate. Its purpose is to nourish and fuel. It isn’t a masterpiece.” I stole the Doritos back from her and watched the people on the show race to get whatever they needed in order for Chef Ramsay to stop screaming.
“Oh, I’m sure that you can’t be more wrong. I think of PowerBars and green smoothies as fuel used to feed our bodies. Tasteless, cold boring things are fuel. What he makes is art. I can’t be sure because I have never had a Gordon Ramsey dish but I would think that it is akin to having sex with your taste buds. That every morsel, every drop makes you see bursts of light. What I wouldn’t give for just one taste.” She licked her lips while she kept her eyes glued to the screen. Talk about a visual.
“Well, that is sexy as hell.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Daria was very shy about everything from people paying her compliments, to praise for doing a good job. She had never even uttered the word sex to me before and the first time that she does, it’s so descriptive. I fucking loved that she surprises me like that. She registered my comment but didn’t reply, just put her head down and blushed.
“I don’t know for sure, it could be the most disgusting meal I would ever eat. In fact, I don’t even have anything to base my suspicions off. I have never really eaten at a fancy restaurant so I really am just guessing here.” She shrugged her shoulders and reached for the juice that was on the table. I got to it first and handed it to her.
“What do you mean, fancy place?”
She chuckled, “Archer, the best place I have ever eaten at has maybe been Applebee’s. I can assure you there are no beef wellingtons there. One day, even if I have to take myself, I want to go to a restaurant where the men have to wear blazers and all the dishes look like they can legit be in an art museum. Where the portion sizes are only enough to make you hungrier and every course has a special piece of silverware.” There was bliss on her face like I had only seen when she was speaking about her business. Apparently, this dream was something that she really wanted and it was actually attainable.
“I know we are a long way off from you getting out of here but when you are back on your feet and ready to really hit the town, I would love to take you to a fancy restaurant.” Again. words just slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. It was like this woman had a direct connection with my tongue and could make it do whatever she wanted it to. Say whatever I thought she wanted to hear.
I want to do more with my tongue than just talk, I wonder what she tasted like? I bet it’s like fresh fruit.
“Really, you’d come with me? You would have to get dressed up.”
“Well yeah, and so would you. I’ve never been to a fancy restaurant either so it would be an experience for both of us.” I shrugged my shoulders to show that it wasn’t a really big deal. Inside though, I was going crazy. I had just asked Daria on a date and as informal as the delivery was, I wanted her to say yes. My only wish in the world used to be to see her open her eyes and looking at me, now I wanted to see her in a pretty dress with her hair done up and her striking eyes looking at me over a nice meal with wine and escargot, the finer shit.
“You know, I’m starting to think that you are paying me more attention than your other patients.”
I laughed at her attempt to change the subject but now that it was broached there was no way that I was going to be able to drop it until she gave me an answer. “You are the only patient I’m concerned about at the moment, so what do you say, do you want to find some ridiculously expensive restaurant and see what the rave is about. I could get into some risotto, first I would have to figure out what the hell it is.”
The smile that broke out on her face was enough to put me at ease, “You know, I would really like…” Before she could finish her sentence, I watched as all the blood completely drained from her face and her eyes water up. She was pale, almost lifeless, even her blood pressure monitor began to beep erratically.
“Daria, what’s wrong? Are you hurting, do you want me to get a doctor? What the fuck is happening?” I stood up beside her bed and realized that she was no longer looking at me or the television, she was looking past it.
“He has a vest on, just like the others, is he here for me? Oh God, I’m going to die. Please, please, please.”
I whipped my head around to see what she was looking at, maybe Thad had decided to show up and finish the job I had screwed up. Maybe he was here to hurt her. I scanned the window for the person she was seeing. The minute I did, I knew I was screwed.
Shit, it’s Prez.
I looked at my phone which had been stashed in my front pocket since I had arrived a few hours before and I saw that there were sixteen missed calls, seven from Clean and the rest from other members of the club. How in the hell I had missed sixteen calls? Prez was probably pissed the fuck off.
I focused my attention back on Daria, she was beginning to hyperventilate just at the sight of him looking into the windows. He had yet to spot me and that was the best thing that I could’ve hoped for at the moment. “Hey, just calm down. I’m sure that he is just here for someone else.” I squeezed her hand lightly trying to get some encouragement to her, “Let me go outside and make sure, okay.”
“No! He’s dangerous!”
Part of me was disappointed that she thought that, but it wasn’t like I hadn’t heard it before. The minute that anyone who isn’t part of this life gets a good look at our kutte’s or the tattoos that most of us have, they always assume that we are bad guys. Usually, they were right but sometimes the crew in question wasn’t the worst. The Wings of Diablo was one of those crews. Sure we dabbled in illegal activities and had no qualms about taking someone out that was a threat to us, but for the most part, we tried to help the community as best we could. Hell, we even held an annual bookbag drive for the less fortunate kids in town. It was always a great turn out and it really did help the parents that didn’t have enough to get their kids some of the school supplies that they needed to start the school year. Just because we looked like miscreants, didn’t mean we were all bad.
“I don’t think so, no worries. I’m going to be right there where you can see me.” I gave her a slight smile and rushed out of her room to catch up to Prez before he made it to her room.
“Prez, you looking for me?” I asked as I walked up behind him. He turned and I could see his shoulders visibly slump. If I didn’t know any better it would seem like he was worried about something.
Me? No, why would he be?
“Where the fuck have you been Archer? We have been trying to reach you for hours. I gotta explain to you h
ow this shit works again?” He stood closer to my face but I didn’t back down, he wasn’t going to strike me, I knew that much about my fearless leader. “When the fucking jack rings you pick the shit up. The green button, press it!”
“My bad, I didn’t even realize that I had missed any calls. I only looked at my phone when I saw you down the hall. What are you doing here? Anything going down at the club?” I was beginning to feel like there was a bigger issue here. What if something had happened while I was hanging out with Daria?
“Oh, now you give a shit about what is going on with the club? You didn’t give a shit when you left Clean on his own to get the intel that I specifically told you to help him with! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Prez was steaming, he never raised his voice higher than a whisper, but right now his tone was deadly.
“I give a shit, Clean told me he didn’t need me. Fuck. Has something happened?” I needed information, I don’t know what I would do if Clean had needed back up and I wasn’t there to help him. Suddenly the fact that I might have just lost one of my brothers because I was chasing after some pussy dawned on me. “Fucking hell Prez, just tell me what is going on, is Clean ok?” I ran my hand through my hair. This suspense shit was going to kill me.
He let out a breath, “Yeah, Clean is good. He was in a tough spot and called on you but you were a no show. Wire went and helped him out. Everything is fine now, we got the information that we were looking for but shit could have gone very south for Clean. What the hell are you doing in here anyway? Clean wouldn’t say, only that you were checking in on some loose ends.”
Just like my brother to have my back even when I didn’t have his, Clean was loyal to a fault. I stole a glance over my shoulder and could see that Daria was still staring at us, her eyes no longer filled with tears, now they were filled with anger. I was going to have a tough time explaining this one. She had no idea that I was part of the Wings of Diablo. I had never worn my kutte around her and she still thought that I was the counselor for the PTSD group. It was as if I was hiding away the biggest part of me, one of the parts of me that until I had met her I didn’t know needed to be hidden. I didn’t like it one bit, I wanted her to know everything about me but I knew that now was not the right time. I would tell her one day and hopefully, she would understand. It was the fact that I was the one who put a bullet through her chest that I was sure she would hate me for. I could never be forgiven for something like that.
