by Holly Carter
After a glorious morning at the beach, Hunter dropped me off at the mall to get a dress for the ball tonight. He had arranged for me to meet Angel there and afterwards we were having a girly afternoon getting polished and pampered for the big event. I tried on at least fifty dresses, before I found the one. It shocked the shit out of me, but it was a floor length red gown with a lace bodice. I knew my boots would match it well, so shoe shopping was out for me. I let Angel wonder off to do her thing while I went in search for a red tie the same color as my dress. I found one in the first shop I went to, so I had a shot at the strip club across the street while I waited.
Something felt different.
I felt different, really.
My chest tightened when I thought about my now packed bags in my room. I had snuck out while Hunter was in the shower and got everything ready for my getaway in the morning. Shiloh was coming to pick me up on her way out of town. It would be so early that people would be stumbling out of the party and Hunter would probably be preoccupied. I hoped to see Sailor tonight and maybe inconspicuously thank him for everything without him thinking anything was changing. I am still heartbroken that he lied and kept secrets from me. The friendship I thought we had was stronger than that.
By the time we get back to the palace, it’s only a matter of hours before everything starts happening and in less than twelve hours I’ll walk away and never, ever look back. I run up stairs while Angel gets ready in one of the many rooms in palace. We agree to meet downstairs in a few hours for a shot before the party really gets started. When I walk into my room, a lady stands in the corner looking at the pictures on the wall. When she turns, she smiles and steps towards me.
“Mr. Ford sent me up to do your hair and makeup,” she says, smiling sweetly.
“Of course he did,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“I will let you shower first, but you better hurry. You were supposed to be back hours ago,” she says, her tone gone from friendly to bitter.
“Who the fuck are you? My mother?” I say, throwing my dress bag on the bed.
“I’m sorry; I’m on a time limit.”
“Good for you,” I snarl, stripping off my clothes in front of her.
She turns around and covers her eyes. For a makeup, hair, or whatever woman she is, she’s pretty vain. I walk into the bathroom and get in the shower, not even bothering to close the door. I wash my hair and scrub my body, making sure to leave any sand I may have picked up here. I swear I had sand in places sand really shouldn’t be. I turn the water off and step out, remembering I forgot my towel. I laugh to myself thinking about my incident with Martin on the first day of being here. I call out to the woman for a towel and she does exactly the same thing as he did. Fucking prudes.
I dry my hair, then my body before wrapping the towel around myself and head into the main bedroom area. A chair is set up in the middle of the room next to a table that’s filled with brushes, curling iron, hair straighter, and lots and lots of makeup supplies. I sit down on the chair and make myself comfortable. When she touches my hair, I spin quickly grabbing her wrists with my hands.
“You make me look like a clown, and I will make your death look like an accident,” I snarl.
She nods quickly and I let her go feeling satisfied that my message got across safely.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Two hours and twenty-three minutes later, I stand in front of the mirror and eye this bitch’s handiwork. She is very good at what she does and I look fucking amazing...My hair is straightened, but has tight ringlets at the ends. The dark grey and silver eye shadow makes my eyes stand out, along with the thick layer of black eye liner. My lips are red like cherries, which compliments my skin. My boots hide under my dress, but when I walk the shiny red tips stick out. Angel stopped by to tell me she was going down to meet some friends, but all she got out was, “holy shit, you’re a woman.”
She held me close and told me she was so glad I walked into her life and that she wanted to stay in touch. I lied to her and said we would. I wanted to tell her the truth, but I knew she would spill the beans on my whole secret plan. It actually killed me to lie to her. When she walked, a tear rolled down my cheek and I had to wipe it away quickly. I just couldn’t ruin my makeup.
I walk down the hall and turn at the steps. I take a deep breath, calming my pending nerves. I start down the stairs that lead to the ballroom noting the masses of people. The whole room is filled with men in crisp, clean suits and women wearing ball gowns. I do a quick scan to make sure no one has the same dress as I do. Looking across the crowded room, I spot the most handsome of men, Hunter. His black suit and red tie stand out the most because he matched my dress. It was something we had joked about this morning at the beach. It made me part nervous and part joyous that these little things happened. I descended down the stairs never taking my eyes off him; like he could sense me staring, his eyes came up to meet mine.
It was like time stopped and it was just the two of us in the room together; only distance stood between us. I diverted my eyes when Arrow came up and took my hand, helping me down the last few stairs.
“You look breathtaking, Kat,” Arrow whispers, kissing me lightly on the cheek.
“Thank you, Arrow. But don’t get soft on me now, you’re a big bad Master remember,” I joked, slapping him playfully.
Arrows’ eyes bared my soul. He took a deep, sharp breath and nodded. He saw straight through me and I hated it, but loved that I didn’t have to speak those words. I was going home tomorrow whether I wanted to or not. The sad, unspoken words cut deep, but I nodded and smiled through the heartache. After tomorrow, I would be alone, again. But I don’t think I would ever be the same person I was before. Hunter had changed me, whether it was a good or bad thing, I have yet to find out.
Arrow continues to escort me down the flight of stairs and I follow. My friendship with him is weird, yet wonderful and if it wasn’t for him, I think I may have killed Hunter early in the game. It’s funny that I call what Hunter and I have a game. It was always bound to be something fun, dangerous and chilling; yet cat and mouse always suited us best.
Arrow sighed and I knew something was coming. He had this way to make light of everything and while it was refreshing, it wasn’t what I wanted.
“Kat, listen...” I held my hand up to stop him.
“No, you listen. I don’t want to hear anything from you.”
“I’m so glad we met. It’s been great having you here, and getting to know you.” We hit the bottom of the stairs, but Arrow never let me go. “Come dance with me. Let’s make him jealous.”
I giggled helplessly, finally starting to relax.
Arrow led me to the dance floor and the crowd parted as we entered. I would like to think it was my ferociousness, but I think it was the fact that Arrow was about to dance with the Mistress being made submissive. My story had been on everyone’s lips for weeks, and unfortunately for the wrong reasons, I was the word around this tight community. Simon really did a number on me at the party on Friday night.
Snow Patrol sings about Chasing Cars as we enter the near empty space. Arrow spins me until I’m firmly in his arms. His hands sit on my lower back, and my hands come up to rest on his shoulders. As we move to the song, I try hopelessly to block the words and the people that surround us. As I move closer to Arrow, he holds me tighter; the comfort I gather from him hurts. It should be Hunter; I want him to hold me like this always.
“Don’t let anyone get you down; you’re better than that, Kat.” Arrow whispers those sweet, untrue words to me as a tear slides down my cheek.
I quickly wipe it away, praying no one sees it. Last thing I wanted was to be confronted because of stupid emotions that appear out of fucking nowhere.
“Can I interrupt?”
Arrow steps away from me, and looks between Hunter and I. I put my big girl panties on, which I decided to wear tonight, and nod. How hard could it be to dance with the man that broke my walls and made me love?
&
nbsp; “You break her, Hunter, and I will kill you myself.” Arrow shoots a warning to his brother and I cringe.
Getting between these two was never an intention. But Arrow and I have so much in common, and he is a great person with so much going for him in life. He is one person who needs to get out before this world fully consumes him and he ends up cold, and broken just like his other brothers.
“Do not threaten me, Arrow.” The men step forward, chest-to-chest.
“Stop it, both of you. Grow the fuck up and enjoy the party,” I hiss. “Hunter, come dance with me.”
I grab his hand and lead him further into the now over crowded dance floor. Placing my hand in his outreached right hand, I step close, closer than I was with Arrow. His hand finds the small of my back and my hand holds his shoulder firmly. We sway as ‘Passengers’ Let Her Go plays. The words hit me hard from the start, almost like a sign.
But nothing prepares me the moment those devastating words are sung in my ear.
Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies
But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
The tears start to fall harder as Hunter pulls me closer. I see David through my tears talking to Arrow as they watch Hunter and I dance. David gives me a soft smile and I smile through the flowing emotions.
“Hush, don’t cry,” Hunter whispers in my ear with the break of music.
It all gets too much and before I know it, I’m walking out of the ballroom and out onto the balcony that overlooks the pool. I wipe my tears before they turn to devastating sobs.
“Kat.” I wipe my stray tears and turn quickly.
“What’s up, James?” I say, smiling.
“I want to tell you something.” He steps forward and grabs my hand in his. “I’ve done something terrible for money, and you deserve to know the truth.”
I shake my head trying to figure out what he’s talking about.
“I lit the fire in the bar.” James says, as I rip my hand from his grip. “Simon threatened me. He told me he would hurt everyone, if I didn’t do it. My dad is dying of cancer and they needed the money to help him.”
“You did what? Have you told Hunter?” I basically shout, pointing to the door that leads into the ballroom.
“No, but that’s not all I did. I let Simon back into the house after he and Hunter had a fight. It wasn’t America and Hunter you heard having sex.” When he stops and looks up at me I feel sick. I know what he’s going to say and I didn’t want to hear it. I put my hand up and hold my stomach as I step back.
“Get away from me.” I shout as I turn my back to him.
“Please. I am sorry. I will tell Hunter the minute I see him.” James says, and then I hear departing footsteps.
I look out over the pool and think about the beach this morning. I wanted to be there again, and I wanted to be there with the man I was falling in love with. I watch the waitress walk up the stairs with a tray of drinks; she smiles at me and keeps walking. Her heels stop clicking and I sense it before I see it.
I hear his footsteps but don’t turn around.
“Mr Ford, can I offer you a drink?” the waitress asks, with a hint of flirtation in her voice.
“No, thank you. Kat, would you like one?” Hunter asks.
I don’t turn around, but I shake my head no.
I continue to look out at the sunset. The fairy lights over the waterfall are beautiful, everything lights up at night. It’s breathtaking. My dress blows in the breeze, and suddenly I want to do nothing more than run through the waves of the ocean. I step back, and hit a strong wall of muscle.
“I want to run into the ocean,” I whisper.
“Kat, I have to tell you something.... I...”
I turn and wrap my arms around him.
He looks nervous.
Scared.
“What is it?” I rock on my toes, so our lips are so close...
“You only have three days left, and things have gotten a little out of hand lately. I have feelings...”Hunter stops, mid-sentence.
I want him to say those words...
The words that I feel...
“Hunter, I think I’m falling in love with you.” It escapes my lips before I can stop it.
Hunter captures my face in his hands. His warm hands, the ones that deliver punishment, deliver commitment, deliver tenderness, and deliver love...
“This can’t happen, Kat.” Hunter’s voice is broken. “You are leaving with Sailor tonight.”
With that, he kisses my forehead and walks away.
Leaving me more broken than I was before.
In more pain than anyone could ever feel.
He leaves me submissive...
~*~*~*~*~*~
I take myself up to my room to collect my belongings. Hunter has just told me in so many words that I am totally alone in my feelings for him. The one time I let my guard down, I get burnt. It is funny, because as much as I told myself I didn’t like him, I was almost sure I felt some sort of love connection for him from the first time he held me during a nightmare. I really, truly believe that he is hiding something from me, because he can’t not feel anything. I am not some idiot that falls in love with my Master, on one sided feelings.
Against better judgement, I open the letter left for me on the bed.
My dearest Kat,
I wanted to write to you because I knew I wouldn’t be able to find the words to say them otherwise. I spent the afternoon thinking about the past three and a half weeks and how much you have changed and how much you have changed me. We fight our demands every day, and every night they come back to haunt us. It’s a vicious circle that will never end. Because I know he will never apologise, I want to say sorry for everything Simon has done to you. He is a monster and bitter at the world for many things with no reason. He breaks everything he touches and deserves to live a lonely, miserable life; you deserve better than him. However, I am just as guilty for the pain. What I am about to tell you will change everything for you in the future.
My heart skips a few beats and I feel for the edge of the bed to sit down before I fall. I don’t want to keep reading in the fear of what he might reveal. But, I must know what he is talking about. I want to run to him, to kiss him, to bring myself to my knees for him...
Sailor sent you to me so you would become his submissive. He wanted to take you to Paris to work for him in a palace we have opened together, but knew you wouldn’t be any use to him as a Mistress. He wanted you for himself but knew you wouldn’t break for him, for he has tried for years. I thought it would be a great test for my strength and abilities, but you Kat, have blown me away. What I feel for you is hate, greed, temptation, vanity, envy, wrath, patience, guilt and pride. But most of all, love.
Please know that I never meant to hurt you like this. But you deserve to know. Maybe one day, when everything we have known is gone, you and I can be together in hell like we talked about. We can watch the devil cringe at our antics.
Yours truly.
Hunter
I feel sick.
I run to the bathroom and vomit. This isn’t happening to me. It can’t be. I can feel him on my skin; touching my face, smelling my hair...I retch again.
I need to get him off my skin; get him out of my mind. I stand up and turn the shower on full, and jump in straight away; I don’t even wait for the water to warm up. I need to get clean. I rip at my gown, wanting to remove it. I can’t stand it; I can’t take anything touching me any longer.
When I’m naked, I let the now hot water drown me. Take me away and cause me newfound pain. I need it to cause me pain to hide the inside scars I carry every day
. They lied to me. Sailor was my protector, my shelter, and my life...My trusting person. He used me. Hunter knew all along and never told me; why would he hide that from me? I trusted him. I loved him.
It hurts.
It slices me open. New wounds caused by people I love.
It opens old wounds even bigger...
I scrub every inch of my body until my skin is red and burning with new rage. When the water runs cold, I get out and wrap the towel around my body. I wipe the condensation off the mirror and look back at my reflection. I no longer see the weak, vulnerable girl I once was. Hunter taught me so much in so little time, like he promised. He taught me each in sin, each feeling...How to live again, how to live without fear, how to take control...
He taught me how to love.
But he never taught me how to forget.
I walk back into my room and dress quickly, choosing to wear jeans and shirt. I need to show them that I am not scared of anything anymore. Not them, not my father or my mother, not my past or even Simon. While I can’t stop the past from catching me, I can stop it from ruining me. I put my delicate hair up, making it a messy bun.
I grab my bags and head downstairs. Angel sees me and comes rushing over with a drink in hand that spills as she speed walks. I try to ignore her, but it doesn’t work that way. She just follows me calling out my name. I carry my bags out to the front of the palace and place them on the sidewalk.
“Where are you going?” she asks, stopping in front of me.
“I need to get out of here.” I put my bags down and take out a pen from my bag. “Give me your hand,” I say, pulling her hand and turning it palm up. “I need you to call this number and tell them to come and get me.”
I write down the number and throw the pen back in my bag.
“Kat, please tell me what’s going on.” Angel looks at the number then looks at me.
“Please, I will explain later, I promise.” Lie, lie, and lie.
She nods as we both head back into the palace. I head for Hunter’s office where Sailor and Hunter’s loud voices can be heard.
