by Helen Brain
He’s really going to do it. He’s going to kill them. Anger surges through me like a flood, rising higher and higher. I can hardly breathe.
“Ready …” Major Zungu yells, and the soldiers lift their rifles.
“Aim …”
My rage overflows. “Stop! If you don’t let them free, the deal is off! I’m not growing any more food for you!” My words echo across the colonnade, which has suddenly fallen silent as a graveyard.
He holds up his hand, and Major Zungu pauses. The soldiers look up, fingers poised on the triggers while General de Groot’s eyes cut through me like blades.
“I’ll remember this.” His voice is rough. “You can choose one.”
One.
I can save just one person. Who do I choose? Cassie, who was my friend? Hal, who I fell in love with? The baby? I must take the baby – her mother is facing the army just like my mother did. If the baby dies, I’ll never forgive myself.
And then I see Lucas. Poor, broken Lucas, who risked everything to save me.
“Lucas.” The name chokes in my throat. “I pick Lucas.”
I’m relieved the others are blindfolded so I don’t have to see the hatred and despair in their eyes. What have I done? It’s my fault they’re all going to die. If I hadn’t killed the High Priest, if I’d just married Hal …
Major Zungu shouts an order. A soldier pulls Lucas away from the wall and rips off his blindfold. He stands alone on one side, facing his family: Twenty-two of them, backs to the wall.
“Ready … aim … FIRE!” yells Major Zungu.
I jerk away as shots ring out. A child screams.
Then there’s silence.
When I open my eyes the bodies of the Poladion family lie crumpled on the ground. A spray of blood stains the white wall.
I lean over and vomit, spewing out the horror of the pure evil that stands next to me, stiff-jawed and impervious.
When I am able to stand, Mr Frye pulls me close to him. I feel myself shake against his chest.
“General, I think I should take Miss den Eeden home. We’ll take Lucas Poladion too, if that’s not an inconvenience,” he says softly.
The general shrugs. “As you wish, Frye. As you wish.” He turns on his heel and leaves.
“This way, Ebba.” Mr Frye leads me down the stairs flanked by the stone lions. I avert my eyes, away from the bodies. When I see Cassie’s feet in her gold sandals out of the corner of my eye, I vomit again.
Lucas is still standing alone to the side. Mr Frye puts his arm around his shoulder. “Come along, Lucas. We’re taking you to Greenhaven.”
He looks at us unseeing, his blue eyes huge in his face. Huge, and completely empty.
*
WHEN THE COACHMAN drops us back home, Aunty Figgy goes straight to Lucas. She takes him by the shoulders and examines him. “Lucas, what have they done to you?” She brushes his hair off his face, but he doesn’t react.
Then Isi runs to him, places her front paws on his chest and whines. He strokes her head, and it’s the first sign of life I’ve seen from him.
“Come inside,” Aunty Figgy says putting an arm around his waist. “I’ll make you some tea.”
When Lucas has gone inside, Isi comes to me and pushes her nose into my hand. She follows me into the house, staying close to my heels.
Aunty Figgy is clucking around Lucas, putting him into the chair nearest the fire, chopping fresh herbs to make him a soothing tea. While the tea is brewing, she looks for sheets and pillowcases in the linen cupboard.
“Ebba, go and make up the bed for Lucas in the yellow bedroom,” she calls to me.
I need to tell her about the execution, about the tiny baby, about the dead family, but I can’t. Not in front of him. So I do what I’m told. Isi pads along after me, and her nose nuzzles my leg until I sink onto the carpet in the yellow bedroom, and she crawls onto my lap. She looks up at me, and I know she understands what I am feeling.
“What am I going to do, girl?” I murmur. I’m not going to cry. I’m not. If I do, I might never stop. She licks my hand as I tell her, “The general is a total and utter bastard. We thought the High Priest was bad, but the general is a million times worse.”
Aunty Figgy calls down the passage. “Are you nearly done, Ebba? It’s almost dinnertime.”
I sigh, get up and make the bed as best I can with my bandaged arm, wishing it were the end of the day and I could crawl into my own bed and sleep until the nightmare playing in my head is over and the throbbing ache in my shoulder is gone.
The pile of bodies.
Cassie’s gold sandals.
The baby, held so tightly in her mother’s arms.
Hal …
How will I ever get these images out of my head?
At dinner, I’m too upset to eat. I push my stew around the plate. Lucas has joined us at the table, but he’s not eating either. He hasn’t said a word yet. He just stares with those huge eyes. He’s in shock, I can see it.
“What happened with the general?” Fez asks as he eyes my plate of food. “Can I have that if you’re not going to eat it?”
I push the plate towards him. “Be my guest. The general wanted me to join the council.”
Leonid turns to me, his face darkening. “You didn’t agree, did you? Or didn’t you have the balls to refuse?”
My cheeks are burning. “What could I do? And at least it gives me some power. I got him to agree to let out fifty girls. And …”
They stare at me like I’m a criminal.
“And … if I’m on the council, I can find out what happened to Micah, and …”
They’re still frowning. It’s freaking me out.
“And …”
What can I do to show them I’m on their side? Then I remember the papers. I grab them from the dresser and wave them in the air.
“And guess what?” I exclaim, trying to sound cheerful. “None of you need worry about being arrested – we’re all citizens now. Even you, Shorty.”
I pass the papers to Fez, Letti, Shorty and Jasmine.
Jasmine points to the paper I’m still holding. “Who’s that for?”
“Micah. For when he comes back …” My voice shakes slightly.
Leonid’s chair screeches as he pushes it back. He walks out, slamming the door behind him.
Jasmine jumps up. “You bitch. Your own half-brother, and you didn’t think to make him a citizen too? No, you were too busy making sure that your boyfriend was taken care of! And you don’t even know if he’s alive!”
Staring at the shocked faces around me, I go cold. Leonid … and Aunty Figgy – how could I have forgotten them? She’s like a mother to me, and I didn’t even think to ask for her citizenship.
She leans over and squeezes my hand. “Don’t you worry about me,” she says. “I don’t want to be a citizen. I’m a Boat Bayer, and I will be until the day I die.”
Letti is the first to break the mood. “Does this mean we get to stay in the house?” she asks brightly. “If so, I book the room with the pink curtains.”
“And I want the blue one with the bookcases,” Fez says.
I remember how, when I came alone to Greenhaven, straight from the colony, I imagined having my sabenzis in the house with me, each with their own room. Now it’s come true, but I never imagined it would be as difficult as this.
“Where will you sleep, Jas?” Letti asks. “You needn’t share with Aunty Figgy anymore.”
“There’s the yellow room,” Fez says. “That can be your room.”
“Lucas is in the yellow room,” I say, and instantly regret it.
“Actually, you know what?” Jasmine snarls. “I don’t want your stupid citizenship. You can keep it. And your ugly bedroom. I’ll stay one of your servants, like Leonid. I’ll move down to the coach house and share his room. At least I’ll have some integrity.”
Letti gasps. “But you can’t sleep with him. It’s wrong –”
“Don’t be so childish, Letti,” Jasmine snaps
.
Throughout it all, Lucas has sat dead still, staring at his untouched plate.
Only his right leg jiggles under the table, faster and faster, and it feels like there’s a swathe of grey energy swirling around him that no one can break through. But suddenly he pushes back his chair, gets up and walks out.
I jump to my feet. “Lucas, stop! Please stop. They don’t mean it. You’re very welcome here, I promise you.” I follow him down the passage and out of the front door. “Please, Lucas …” I beg. “Don’t go.”
But he ignores me, striding across the grass, and the dark forest swallows him up.
CHAPTER 4
When I return to the kitchen, Jasmine has already left for the coach house, taking two plates of food with her.
“I’ll go and talk to her,” Aunty Figgy says, and follows her down the path.
“What’s her problem?” I sigh. “She never used to be so horrible when we lived in the colony. She’s so mean to me all the time. I made a genuine mistake.”
Letti stops eating, and looks at me from behind the spectacles Aunty Figgy has found for her. They make her eyes look huge and round and … guarded? Why is she guarded? What is she holding back?
“What, Letti? Just say it.”
“It’s … it’s …” Her eyes are pleading.
My stomach is knotting. “Come on, Letti,” I snap. “Just tell me, damn it.”
She purses her lips. “It’s that. The way you shout at people. At us. The way you keep showing us that you’re the boss.”
I stare at her. “I don’t. I don’t do that.”
“You do,” she says, and Fez is nodding.
“You do, Ebba,” he says. “And Jas doesn’t like it. She always used to be the leader, when we were sabenzis. She doesn’t like being ordered around.”
“So what am I supposed to do? I am the boss. I didn’t ask to be. I didn’t ask for any of this.” It’s all I can do not to slump down on the table in a miserable heap.
Fez shrugs. “That’s for you to work out.”
Letti’s voice is gentle. “Maybe tone it down a little? Be a little more sensitive to how she . . . how we all are feeling.”
I get up and dump my plate in the sink. Tears are stinging my eyes but I’m not going to cry in front of them.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Letti says, rubbing my shoulder.
Fez brings me a kettle of hot water from the stove. “I can wash up,” he says. “It’s no trouble.”
I wipe my nose with the side of my hand. “It’s fine, I’ll do it. I want to be by myself anyway. You three go. You’ve had a long day – you don’t have to do housework as well.”
And still nobody has asked me why I’m so upset. They’ll fight with me over which bedroom they get, and they’ll watch every little thing I do so they can pick on me about it. But they don’t care that today I was forced to watch twenty-two people mowed down by rifles, and that a tiny baby died because I didn’t save her
They don’t even care that the boy I love is probably lying dead somewhere with half his head blown away.
I stand at the sink watching the water swirl in the bowl. When the sea rose and covered most of the world almost seventeen years ago, did it do it all at once, in a massive tsunami? Or did the rising tide creep higher and higher until it smothered almost everything alive? I feel like the tide of despair is about to wash me away. I’m only just holding on. If only it would all just end now.
I wish the second Calamity would arrive and obliterate us all.
*
I AM STILL BUSY scrubbing the dirty dishes when Isi starts to whine and runs to the door. I look up, and a wave of joy hits me, the surge of relief nearly knocking me to the floor.
Micah is standing in the doorway, holding out his arms, and I fall into them.
“You’re back. You’re back.” I burst into tears, letting out the anguish that has been building all day.
“Shhhh,” he murmurs, “don’t cry, babe.”
But I sob and sob. All the fear, the pain, the hopelessness pours out of me as he holds me tight and rubs my back. His body pressing against me is warm and strong. I relax into him, letting everything wash over me as I concentrate on his breath on my neck, the touch of his lips. After a while he lets me go and gives me his handkerchief to blow my nose.
“I love you, Ebba,” he says as he strokes my hair. I look up into his face, drinking in the features I love – his straight nose, those brown eyes that sparkle in the lamp light, his high cheekbones and the lock of black hair that always falls over his forehead. I thought I’d never see him again, and now that he’s back I’m flooded with feelings I can’t even name.
When at last I’ve calmed down enough to talk coherently, he wants to know everything. I tell him about the Poladion family, about Hal and Cassie. About Lucas and the baby.
“That tiny baby didn’t have a chance without its mother,” he says, placing me in a chair. He fills the kettle and puts it on the stove. “Even if you had saved it, it would probably have died. You haven’t got any way of feeding it, for one thing.”
“I could have sent her to Boat Bay. I’m sure there’s someone there who is breastfeeding a baby. I could have paid someone to look after her.”
“Babe, I know the Boat Bayers. They’re proud. They’re not going to accept a Poladion, no matter how young.” He rinses out the tea pot and spoons fresh tea leaves into it. “You did the right thing choosing Lucas. He saved you – saved all of us by giving you the keys to the prison. It’s right that you repaid him.”
I drop my face into my hands. “I’m not sure he agrees. He’s gone off into the forest. Everybody started to fight about …” I stop, realising Micah doesn’t yet know he’s a citizen. I’m not sure how he’ll take the news. “But where have you been? I thought you were dead. I really thought you were dead.”
“They didn’t catch me. I found another cave higher up and watched the soldiers go into the cave where you were hiding. I seriously thought it was the end for you four, especially when I heard the gunshots. But then they came out again looking pissed off. They were poking around between the rocks, arguing with each other, and then they gave up and went back to the base. That’s when I knew you’d found a way to escape. But with the coup, there was no way back into the city. I’ve been hiding in the hills above Boat Bay, waiting for a chance to get back here. Back to you, my love.”
He leans over and kisses me, and all the weeks of fear disappear from my mind. I’m safe again. I can face anything with him by my side.
The kettle starts to whistle. I take it off the stove and reach for the teapot. I’d better bite the bullet and tell him about the citizenships before Aunty Figgy comes back and mentions them.
“Um …” I begin. “I have other news.”
He’s rinsing mugs in the sink but he turns around quickly and his eyes bore into me. “News?”
“We’re legal. We don’t have to hide our relationship any more. I got your papers – you’re a legal citizen of Table Island now, like me.”
For a second he goes rigid, then he breathes out … and smiles. Thank the Goddess.
“How did you manage that?”
“The general made me part of the council. He wants me to grow more food. I told him I would only do it if he made you and the sabenzis and Shorty legal. But I forgot about Leonid and Aunty Figgy.” I bite my lip. “I thought I’d done the right thing but I really messed up. They’re so upset.”
“You’re on the council?” His eyes are alive with something I can’t read.
I tense, waiting for his scolding. But instead he breaks into a smile.
“That’s very clever. We need to know what they’re up to. Well done.”
“But Jasmine and Leonid are furious with me. They think I left out Leonid on purpose. Will you talk to them?”
Micah is still smiling as he looks away from me towards the darkness beyond the window. “Of course. I’ll go down there now. You should stay here, I think. Let me
talk to them on my own. ”
With one last kiss, one last “I love you”, he leaves, carrying his mug of tea, and I settle down to finish cleaning the kitchen.
Aunty Figgy comes in as I’m wiping down the surfaces.
“So he’s back safe and sound.” Her voice is dry. She begins to stack the soup bowls on the dresser. “But time is running out, Ebba. You need to focus on your sacred task. It’s not long till the equinox. Find the amulets, save the planet and then you can have all the romance you want.” She turns me around to face her. “It’s important that, until then, you don’t …” She pauses. “That you don’t …”
“Ag, Aunty Figgy,” I snap, throwing the washing-up cloth into the sink. “I’m sorry, but what I do with Micah is none of your business.”
Her lips are squeezed tight as she picks up the pile of plates and bangs it onto the dresser shelf. I’m not going to hang around here with her in one of her moods. She has no right to tell me what I can and can’t do with Micah.
“I’m going to shower,” I say.
Later, as I’m closing the bedroom shutters, I hear the rush of water and run out onto the stoep. It’s raining, pelting down. We’ve needed rain for so long and it’s here at last. The earthy fragrance rises up from the ground and mixes with the smell of wet thatch, and it’s just wonderful. Micah is back and my position on the council is going to help the resistance. It’s a new beginning for Greenhaven, and for us.
I DON’T KNOW what Micah has said to the others, but everyone has calmed down the next morning. I’m collecting the eggs in the hen house when Jasmine arrives to help.
“It’s okay,” I say, a little awkwardly. “I can manage.”
She digs in the nesting boxes and brings out a pair of brown-speckled eggs. “I want to apologise for what I said last night,” she says, not looking at me. She’s turning and turning the eggs in her hands. “And I know Leonid is sorry too. Thank you for making Letti and Fez legal. It’s a big relief.”
“I seriously didn’t leave Leonid out on purpose. I’m really sorry. I’ll get him papers at the next council meeting.” If I can, I add in my head. And if the general is in a good mood.
