by Helen Brain
“What is this?” Jaline shouts. “We can’t eat this.”
“Jaline,” I say calmly, though I’m quaking inside, “just try it. It’s breyani. You’ll love it. We don’t eat dehydrated vegetables and protein pellets up here.”
“How do we know you’re not poisoning us?” a girl called Prava asks. “Frieda says you’re eating different food – you and Letti and Jasmine and Fez.” She spits out the names.
“You think you’re better than us,” Jaline snarls.
Aunty Figgy puts her hands on her hips and puffs up with rage. “I have never in my life met such a bunch of rude, ungrateful young women. If you don’t like the food, don’t eat it. There are plenty of hungry people in this world who would be very grateful for a healthy home-cooked meal like this. Now sit on your bottoms and eat your lunch before I count to three. After that the food is going, and you’ll have nothing to eat until dinner. You girls should be extremely grateful to Miss Ebba for rescuing you from the colony. And if you’re not going to cooperate, you’re welcome to go back – Leonid can hitch up the wagon right now and have you there by nightfall.” She glares at the girls.
“Sorry, ma’am,” Prava says, taking her plate of food and spoon. She sits down meekly, and the others follow suit.
Everyone calms down except for Jaline, who continues to glare at me as she spoons the breyani into her mouth. Her eyes are dark and petulant under her long fringe; she looks like a wild animal.
Back in the office, I sit down at the old wooden desk and sink my head onto my arms. Isi gets up from where she was lying and sits down next to me, thumping her tail rhythmically on the carpet. She rests her head on my knee and I let my hand drop to fondle her soft ears. I know I’m feeling sorry for myself, but it’s all just so complicated. How can I be in charge of fifty girls? And they’re all older than me, and they’ve looked down on me all my life: I was the baby who was dumped in the colony instead of being chosen. Now I’ve got this huge task, which I have to get right or we’ll all starve to death. And the people who have helped me most, Clementine and Micah, have disappeared.
My nose starts running as I wipe away my tears.
I haven’t got a handkerchief, so I open all the drawers, one after the other, to see if some kind relation happened to have left a clean hanky in here. My eyesight is blurry and when I get to the last drawer on the bottom right-hand side, I pull too hard and the whole thing falls to the floor. Great – one more thing for me to fix. Isi has her nose in the space where the drawer should go.
“Move, girl,” I say, picking up the drawer and pushing it back onto its runners.
It goes in a little way and then jams. Irritated, I give it a good shove. Still jammed. When I grab the handle with both hands and tug, it gives way and I fall backwards.
Isi is still there, sniffing inside the space. She looks up at me and gives one short sharp bark.
“What is it girl? Is there a mouse in there?”
She’s too calm for it to be a mouse. I get to my knees and peer inside. There’s something wedged on the side of the desk, just below the runner.
I prise it loose and pull out an old brown envelope. It’s folded up around something hard.
My heart beats quicker as I unfold the envelope. It has to be an amulet.
But it’s just a key.
Then I hear footsteps clipping across the tiled floor. Isi whines and her tail thumps against the floor. A pair of navy-blue court shoes stop next to me. I look up at legs in beige stockings, then a knee-length navy-blue skirt, a white blouse tied at the neck in a bow, and then a stern face looking down at me over a pair of glasses. I scramble to my feet, brushing my hands down my robe. It’s the lady again, the one who told me not to be such a little mouse. But this time I can see her more clearly.
She’s wearing a white coat with a nametag on it. I sound out the letters in my head: Dr Iris … Iris den Eeden.
She’s an ancestor. I glance at her hand. There it is – the birth mark. And under her blouse I see a glimpse of the necklace. But where’s the amulet?
She isn’t friendly like Clementine, though. She’s fierce, no-nonsense, and she’s shaking her head. Her tight curls don’t move.
Wipe your eyes, girl, she says in my mind. No use sitting here feeling sorry for yourself. We have work to do. She points to the key I’ve left on the floor. Pick that up and follow me.
I pick it up and follow her out of the door, but as soon as we cross the threshold, she disappears. I go back into the office and she’s standing there, tapping her foot. But the moment I leave the room, she’s gone. I try three times, and each time the frown lines between her eyebrows deepen, her lips tighten and she taps harder.
“It’s not my fault,” I tell her. “I can’t follow you if you keep disappearing.”
Excuses, excuses, she snaps.
Then Aunty Figgy rings the bell for our lunch. I want to put the key back in the drawer but Dr Iris is still standing there, shaking her head.
I can’t work out what she wants.
Then I notice her necklace peeking out from under her blouse. She’s got two amulets – Clementine’s brown one, and one with a spray of blue stones in the centre. Is she showing me where to find the blue amulet? Does the key unlock the place where it’s hidden? I unclasp my necklace, hang the key on it and put it back around my neck. She wants me to keep searching, but right now I’m hungry, Isi is scratching at the door, and I’m tired of Dr Iris’s attitude. I decide it’s time for lunch.
LATER, WHEN IT’S almost suppertime and the girls have gone to their barracks for the night, I’m walking back to the house in the twilight when I hear my sabenzis gossiping about me. They don’t see me half hidden behind the water barrels, and I stop to listen.
“She’s just not like us anymore,” Jasmine is saying. “She’s one of them. The citizens.”
“We’re citizens too,” Letti says. “We’ve got papers –”
“But only in name,” Fez says. “We don’t act like them. The papers are just a convenience so we can stay on the farm.”
“I can’t believe she went behind our backs and chose Jaline.” Jasmine’s voice is hard. “I mean, we voted.”
“It was six for and three against,” Letti says. ‘It’s not fair that she overrode us.”
“She just doesn’t care.” Jasmine’s voice again. “She only thinks about herself. Now that she’s incredibly rich, she can do what she wants.”
“I miss the old Ebba. I’m not sure I like the new one.” Letti’s voice sounds sad, not angry. A knife slices my heart. I never thought they’d turn on me.
I don’t feel like I’ll be able to face them across the dinner table, so I go to my room and crawl under my duvet. Isi jumps up next to me and I stroke her head, looking into her amber eyes. She knows who I am. She knows I’m not the person my sabenzis think I am.
It’s been an exhausting day, and I fall into a deep sleep. I’m woken later by my door opening and a voice whispering, “Ebba?”
Still groggy, I sit up on my elbows, trying to see across the dark room.
“Are you awake?”
My heart swirls with relief. Micah’s back. I light the oil lamp and smile at him as he leans over to kiss me, the lock of black hair falling over his forehead. The light catches his high cheekbones, showing the sparkle in his brown eyes. He’s so handsome it makes me tingle.
“I’m sorry I had to sneak away,” he says, sitting down next to me. “I’ve been to Boat Bay.”
“What were you doing there?” I pull him down and snuggle up against him, breathing in the delicious smell of his muscular neck.
“It’s better if you don’t know.”
“Why?” I ask, rolling away from him. “Because you don’t trust me? Because I’m on the council?”
He chuckles and pulls me back to him. “Of course not. Because I don’t tell anyone. The fewer people who know our movements, the safer for us all.”
“Except for Samantha-Lee. She knows.”
“Oh, Ebba.” His voice is exasperated but amused. “Of course she knows. We’re co-leaders. We don’t do anything without discussing it first.”
The familiar old bile wants to rise in my throat. He’s choosing her because she’s better than me. She’s going to take him from me. I’m going to lose him, just like I lose everyone I love. I shove the thought away – I can’t go down that road. I want to trust him.
“Babe,” he whispers, his breath warm in the shell of my ear. “I wish you knew how much I love you.”
I lift the duvet and he crawls underneath it. Isi grunts and jumps off the bed. I lie against him, feeling his body against mine. The energy tingles between us and, as his hands run over me, my body glows like the coals in the woodstove. I can feel his hunger. I want to give him what he wants, what I want so desperately too.
His kisses grow deeper, hungrier and he’s lifting my robe over my head when there’s a loud knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer, Aunty Figgy throws it open and comes inside, lamp in hand.
“I’ve left your dinner in the oven,” she says loudly. “Come and get it before it dries out.”
I sit up, pulling up the duvet to cover my shoulders. “Is there enough for Micah? He’s – um – back.”
“Yes. I see that.” She gives him a dirty look. “You should not have a boy in your bedroom, Ebba. Your mother would be horrified. Make sure this doesn’t happen again. And, Micah, you may be a citizen now, but you’re an employee here. You’re taking liberties.”
“Sorry, Aunty Figgy,” he says, getting off the bed. “It won’t happen again.”
She huffs off down the passage.
Micah grins at me. That handsome, cheeky curve of his mouth. “Bossy old lady. Anyway, I’m hungry. Let’s go and eat.”
CHAPTER 9
Micah sorts out the tensions in the house, just as I knew he would. When I wake up the next morning, everyone is cheerful, except for Letti, who is standing on the wall of the duck pond, shrieking.
“What is it?” I call, my heart thundering as I run to help.
“It’s a … a … I can’t remember the name … It’s green and slimy. Ooh, it’s jumping. It’s coming closer. Ebba!” She shrieks as it jumps onto the wall next to her.
“It’s just a frog, silly,” I laugh. “It won’t hurt you.”
“It’s horrible.” She’s hugging herself, staring at the little creature crouched on the wall next to her foot. “It’s going to bite me.”
I laugh so much I can hardly get the words out. “Frogs don’t bite, Letti, I promise.”
“Shorty!” she shrieks. “Shorty!”
He’s on his way up to the house, but when he hears her screams he sprints over as fast as his stumpy legs can carry him. He dashes across the yard, scoops Letti into his arms and carries her across to the water cask. “Sit here, my darling,” he commands.
He dashes back across the yard, picks up the frog – making Letti shriek once again – and disappears into the kitchen garden. He’s back a few minutes later, wiping his hands.
“There,” he tells her. “It won’t frighten you anymore.” He tries to lift her down, but she shudders.
“No, no, no – wash your disgusting hands first. You touched it.”
“You didn’t kill it, did you, Shorty?” I ask. “We need frogs.”
But he doesn’t hear me – he only has eyes for Letti. She gazes at him as though he’s a superhero while he scrubs his arms right up to the elbow.
AFTER BREAKFAST I’M busy in the office allocating the day’s activities. As the weather has cleared, Jasmine will take the planting girls into the new fields and show them where to start weeding. Leonid will supervise the engineering and carpentry girls while they start making the spades. Letti will organise Isabella and the other poultry workers, and Micah will look into ways of expanding the livestock with the girls who used to work with the pigs, sheep and rabbits. While everyone is busy, I’ll go over the books with Shorty while Fez works on Greenhaven’s business plan.
Just when I’ve got it all worked out, Shorty comes to the office door, shifting his weight from one small foot to the other. “Excuse me, Miss Ebba … I was wondering – could I please take the day off?”
“The day off? What for? Aren’t you well?”
“No, it’s not like that. It’s just … just … It’s personal.” His face is bright red, right to the top of his huge forehead.
He looks so uncomfortable I want to laugh.
“Okay,” I say.
“Thank you, Miss Ebba. I’ll make up the time, I promise.” He skips off across the yard and I turn back to my list, wondering what can be so personal.
Whatever it is, Aunty Figgy is in on it. An hour later when I go to the kitchen to get a cup of peppermint tea, she’s got her recipe book out and is using twine to tie a muslin cloth across the top of a tiny pudding basin. There’s a pot boiling on the stove and she lowers the basin into it, muttering under her breath.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Praying.” She looks guilty. But no matter how much I press her, she won’t say more.
When I’ve drunk my tea, I set off with Isi for the new fields to see how the girls are doing with the weeding. They’re in the top field, getting the rows ready for the cauliflower and cabbage seedlings we’ve been propagating in the greenhouse.
They seem calmer and happier than they were yesterday. The sun’s shining and they’re chatting quietly to themselves as they work. I see Roxie and Tia looking up at the mountain with the same awe I felt when I was first elevated. They’re lucky that they have friends to share it with. When I came out, I had nobody except Isi. I follow to see what the water level is like, and Isi disappears into the bushes below the wind pump. I follow her right up to the edge of the water.
Shorty is standing there, legs apart, clutching a rod.
“Shorty. What are you doing here?”
He turns quickly. “Nothing. I mean, I’m fishing, Miss Ebba.”
“You wanted a day off so you could fish?”
“Y-y-yes, Miss Ebba. I mean n-n-no, Miss Ebba.” He’s stuttering, his face red under his floppy sun hat. “I mean, it’s complicated, Miss … It’s a surprise for Letti.”
My heart warms to him, standing there all alone, trying so hard. “Are there even fish in this dam?”
“I think so. I mean, I hope so. I mean, there might be … oh wait, here’s something.” His voice rises to a squeak as he reels in his line. On the end is a little silver fish, as big as his hand. “There, caught one. See that, miss?” He’s beaming.
I grin. “I’ll leave you to it. Enjoy yourself. Come, Isi, girl.”
Letti is so lucky to have him, I think as I stride back to the field where the girls are weeding – from the moment they met, Shorty has been utterly devoted to her. Is that what true love looks like?
The girls are standing in the shade under the oak trees that line the field. My heart speeds up as I see Micah talking to them, explaining something. The guards are sitting at a distance, watching. Thank the Goddess for Micah. Whenever he’s around, everything is under control.
Everything is good this morning. Micah is home. I have enough labour to expand. We all have someone to love … Well, except for Fez – but maybe Alexia will fall for him … I must remember to ask the general to grant her and Leonid full citizenship at the next council meeting.
The sun is shining. The world is beautiful. Life is good.
THE GIRLS LEAVE at five thirty, marching off down the driveway towards the temporary barracks Major Zungu has set up just beyond the gates of Greenhaven. Once they’ve left, I go up to the house and find Shorty outside the kitchen door gutting the tiny fish.
“Is that all you caught?”
He looks up and blushes. “It’s enough for Letti. You won’t tell her, will you, Miss Ebba? It’s a surprise.”
I find Letti and Alexia folding sheets in the laundry, talking about the bunker.
“If we’d stayed in th
e colony, I’d never have met Shorty,” Letti is saying. “If I’d stayed, I would’ve been sacrificed.” She shudders. “I’m so glad I’m out of there. It’s all because of you, Ebba,” she says, giving me a hug.
Thank you, Micah, I think. He’s been speaking up for me, and my sabenzis are being much nicer to me today.
“I heard that in the colony they gave you drugs so you wouldn’t think about sex,” Alexia says, folding her sheet down the middle. “Wasn’t that weird?”
“I suppose so,” Letti says. “But we didn’t know what it was like to be normal. They showed us kinetikas – well, until the machine broke. We’d see kids like us in the old world, before the Calamity, so we knew we were different from them, but we didn’t actually know what life was like without the drugs.”
“Plus, they kept us so busy in the colony,” I say, shaking out a pillowcase. “We worked twelve hours a day, and everyone had to run on the treadmills for two hours to generate electricity. We didn’t have much time to think about other things.”
“And then we had to clean our cells and do our washing,” Letti adds. “After that, we just wanted to sleep.”
“What’s Shorty up to?” Alexia asks as he hurries past the window carrying a pile of wood. “He’s been busy with something all day.”
Letti beams. “It’s a present for me. I’m so excited. I’ve never had a present.”
“Seriously?” Alexia says. “Never ever?”
“There was nothing to give in the colony,” I explain. “On our birthdays we might get special food – some yoghurt or cheese or something like that, but nothing we could keep forever.”
Alexia shakes her head. “And then you were given Greenhaven – that’s quite a gift.” She squeezes my arm. “You deserve it, Ebba.”
We’re almost finished with the laundry when Shorty appears at the door. “Letti, it’s time for your surprise. Come with me.”
She giggles as he puts a blindfold over her eyes and leads her across the courtyard and around the front of the house.
Alexia drops the tea towel she’s folding. “Let’s go see what it is.”
