by Lyssa Cole
Damn it, I missed her by mere seconds. But that explains the smell in the hallway.
“Thanks, Kayla. Luna’s dying to go or else I’d stay and chat. I’ll catch you around, okay?”
Kayla smiles before reaching out to pet Luna. I give her the go ahead and she leans down, letting Luna smell her hands and decide on her own.
“Bye, Gabe and Luna!” Kayla closes the door, the lock clicking into place behind her.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Alicia’s here. She’s here and across my hall.
Could she be any closer?
I hurry out of the building, Luna right behind me, and set off on the path I run every morning.
I don’t stop until my body is numb and I’m gasping for air. I don’t care, I need it.
I need the burn, the pain.
When I reach Central Park, I stop to catch my breath, my hands resting on my hands as I bend over.
I suck down air and close my eyes.
In, out.
In, out.
When I’ve finally caught my breath, I sit down on a nearby bench and drink my water, offering some to Luna too.
After a few minutes, my breath and heart have slowed. Luna lies quietly at my feet. I down my water and then stretch for the run back.
On my way, I realize something. Something that’s been plaguing me, gnawing at my back for weeks now. It’s as if a light turned on, the thoughts suddenly clear now.
I stop abruptly, a block away from my apartment. I gasp for air as the realization sends me reeling backward a few steps.
I love Alicia.
I love her with every fiber in my being.
I’ve loved her for a long time.
I’m sick of running from it, pushing it away.
I want her. Only her.
And I’m going to show her if it’s the last thing I do.
Alicia
“Sure, I’d love to come by and show you. When’s a good time?” I jot down the information in my book, scheduling the appointment in my calendar. “Perfect, see you then.”
I hang up and smile. My book is filling up fast, and I only put my name out there a week ago. It helps too when my best friend pulls some strings, dropping my name where she can.
Ruby works as a publicist, and a lot of her clients often need hair and makeup done. She offers my business card and calls have actually come in, more than I thought there’d be.
Earlier today, I enrolled Kayla in a private, small high school. She still needs to complete her last three years before she can graduate. I didn’t want to throw her into the depths of public school. I’m sure she’s not ready. The private school is a lot smaller and there’s one on one attention.
I’m worried for her. Worry how she’ll adjust, how she’ll like school.
She’s blossoming here so far. We’ve gone out on the town, hung out with Ruby, and even gone on a shopping spree for new clothes.
I couldn’t have asked for a better time.
It’s mind-boggling how much has happened, so many life-changing moments, yet I’m not discouraged. Just the opposite. I’m determined. Determined to have a good life for Kayla and myself.
I secretly want to adopt her myself. I haven’t told anyone that, but I’m hoping I can and then surprise her.
I want to be the one taking care of her, not having her get lost in the shuffle of foster homes.
I jump in my seat at the sound of a dog barking. Damn, the neighbor across from us has the loudest dog, always barking in the hallway.
More barking ensues, and I stand, ready to say something. I’ve had enough. I swing the door open and see a dog, a very familiar looking dog, sitting in front of my door with a bow on its neck. There’s a card attached that says, Open Me.
I move closer to the dog and that’s when it dawns on me. Luna! It’s Luna!
My face breaks into a big smile, and I look around, expecting Gabe to emerge from a corner. No sign of him, so I grab the card and open it.
My lovely A,
What do I say? I’m sorry for everything that’s happened. I’m sorry for your mother and how shit went down between us. I never mean to hurt you. I was only trying to protect you.
But I’ve realized something. I can’t live without you. Nor do I want to.
Because, A, I’m hopelessly and completely in love with you.
-Gabe
I look up, tears streaming down my face and dripping onto the note. Luna wags her tail, and I rub her head. Something catches her attention and she’s off, running down the hallway like a maniac.
“Wait, Luna! Wait!” I go after her, reaching the end of the hallway where a set of staircases are and see Gabe standing there with flowers and chocolates.
He’s here!
My heart pounds in my chest. “Gabe,” I breathe.
“Alicia, I’ve missed you,” he whispers.
The flowers and chocolates go crashing to the ground as we jump into each other’s arms, our lips meeting in desperation.
As soon as my lips touch his, I know with all my heart that I’m finally home.
Gabe pulls his head back, gripping the sides of my face with his hands. “I love you.”
I smile through my tears and whisper back, “I love you, too.”
Chapter 28
Alicia
His hot tongue swipes my flesh, leaving a sizzling trail behind. He explores every inch, every part of me, feasting on me like I’m his dinner.
I’ve lost count of how many orgasms I’ve had, Gabe’s sole focus on pleasuring me. Worshipping me.
It’s heady and delicious, and I can’t get enough of this man.
We sneak back and forth between each other’s apartments like wild teenagers running off in the night. It’s thrilling and fun, and I hope years from now, we’re still over the moon for each other.
Gabe slides in deep, and I groan. Finally.
It’s been his mouth and hands for the past hour and while I’m not complaining, I was dying to have him inside me.
I never want to be apart from this man again.
He’s my rock, my world, my everything.
I run my hands over his wide shoulders, squeezing his biceps lightly as I trail my fingers down. Gabe moans, his mouth covering my own as he rocks into me, each thrust deep and slow. “I love you so much,” I whisper before biting his shoulder playfully.
He yelps but grins down at me. “You’ll pay for that.” He slams into me, balls deep, and I cry out. “I love you so much, A.” He slows down before slamming into me again. His tortuous cycle continues until we both ride our orgasms, our bodies depleted.
We drift in and out of sleep over the next several hours before finally dragging our asses out of bed to fill our bellies with food.
I’ve never been so fulfilled.
What more could I ask for?
It’s funny how life happens. One minute it’s peaceful, easy, undisturbed. Then an event happens or you meet someone and your entire life course has changed.
I’ve learned to live in the moment, to enjoy the little things, and to not worry so much. It’s not all a walk in the park. I still sometimes doubt my relationship with Gabe. It’s not that I don’t trust him, but it’s a deep-rooted way of thinking I’ve held onto for a very long time and now I’m trying to let go. To adapt and bend.
Not every day is easy, but every day I’m happy at some point, even if it’s short-lived. It’s still there every day, living and breathing inside me. Deep down, I believe it’s my mother’s spirit. She’s guiding me, leading me through life with support and the comfort of her presence.
At the same time, the sadness waits in the wings, for some days it rears its ugly head, but I deal with it in the moment and try not to let it affect my entire day.
Gabe has opened up in ways I could’ve never imagined.
The hardest part has been fully accepting and trusting him.
I’ll never forget the night he bared his soul to me.
We’d gone to dinner, a d
elicious steakhouse in the heart of Brooklyn. We decided to go for a walk and ended up on the Brooklyn Bridge, looking at the stars over the water, our hands clasped together.
“Alicia,” Gabe said before stopping and pulling me flush against him.
My breath caught in my throat, the butterflies picking up speed. He pulled my face to his and pressed his mouth against mine. I melted into him, losing myself in the kiss. When he broke away, our breaths mixed together and his words washed over me.
“I want to explain everything.”
I nodded, ready for anything. I didn’t care what he’d tell me. I’d love Gabe and accept what he told me. Besides, by then, I’d had a pretty good idea of what he did after everything that had happened.
“But, Gabe, before you begin, I think I’ve figured your job out.” I smiled, and Gabe chuckled.
“Yeah, I know. It’s not hard when you see me with a huge group of FBI agents and police. But what I want to tell you about is my family. Why I had to leave you when your mom was dying. It wasn’t just because of my job.”
I blinked as I tried to process his information. “I thought you left because of something with work back home?”
Gabe sighed. “It was something back home, but not for work. Listen, I need to explain my past and my family.”
He went on to tell me his entire life story as we sat on the bench at the end of the bridge. He spoke for an hour, telling me about his childhood with his mother and how everything fell apart the day his parents were murdered. I held his hand and listened to every word he gave me. My heart broke for him that night when I realized how much pain, how much hardship he’s gone through.
That night changed us. It was a turning point for us and our relationship, and I knew we’d become stronger from it.
It’s one thing when life throws you punches, but when those punches come from your own family, it’s a whole different ball game. My life, my childhood, was in no way as painful as what Gabe went through, yet when I confessed my own life story that night, he listened and supported me like I’d been through worse than he had.
The once cocky and rude guy had turned into my best friend who truly had a heart of gold underneath his rough exterior.
He’s now more open and honest, and his mood has improved, which works in my favor since the man loves to wine and dine me.
If it were up to Gabe, I’d have my ass parked on the couch while he did everything. Cook, clean, wait on me hand and foot. And while I appreciate how sweet he is, I can’t sit still. I’ll go nuts. I have to get up and move around.
“A?” Kayla calls, interrupting my thoughts.
I stretch my legs and stand up from the chair. I’d been reading out here on the patio, enjoying the heat and sun.
“A!” Kayla gushes as she slides the patio door open. She steps outside and hurries over to me. “You’ll never guess what happened to me today.”
I pretend to rack my brain and tap my finger on my chin. “Hmm, let me guess.”
Kayla rolls her eyes in a joking manner. “You’ll never guess.”
“Something at school maybe? With a boy?”
Her face flushes. Bingo.
She started school a week ago and loves it so far. I just hope it stays that way.
“Dylan asked me out.”
My eyes go wide. “Dylan? The Dylan Neves?” This boy has a nickname and fan base already.
Kayla nods. I smile and pull her in for a hug. I may not like that boy or agree with this shit he does, but I’m not going to insult him for my own satisfaction when Kayla clearly likes him.
“When’s the big date?” I ask into her hair, wanting to hold on to her a bit longer.
“This Saturday. Can you help me pick out a dress?”
“Of course, love.”
She squeals in delight and runs to her room.
I laugh and shake my head as I watch her.
It’s the little things.
Three months later…
Christmas vacation has arrived and the three of us took off to my mom’s house for a few days. It’s nice to get away for a bit and relax.
We celebrated the holiday in the city with Ruby and Gabe’s cousin Ava. It was nice having us all together.
“Almost there, babe.” Gabe takes my hand, giving it a squeeze.
The drive has doubled in length from the snow and crappy weather conditions. I’m antsy and need to stretch my legs. I’m looking forward to my mother’s huge, king-sized bed, the mattress spacious.
Gabe pulls in the driveway, and Aunt Mel’s car is parked there along with another car I don’t recognize. The house is glowing with light, including sparkling Christmas lights. Of course Aunt Mel had to decorate. She loves Christmas.
“Whose car is that?” I point to the one I don’t recognize.
“Oh, that’s Mia.”
“Mia? What’s Mia doing here?”
“She wanted to see Kayla. She misses her. And you.”
I smile. I miss Mia too and the shelter. All of the women and girls are unique and special there.
Kayla’s oblivious, her music blaring in her ears. I tap her knee, and she smiles.
We pile out of the car, Gabe grabbing our bags from the trunk. Before we reach the door, Aunt Mel opens it wide, her excitement radiating off her. “A!”
We hug and kiss, and I introduce my aunt to Kayla. Gabe brings up the rear, Aunt Mel hugging him awkwardly.
Inside, Mia sits on the couch, sipping tea. Her face lights up when she sees us, and she jumps up from the couch. “Alicia, Kayla!”
More hugs and kisses. Twenty minutes later, we sit and talk. Kayla gushes about the city, her school, her boyfriend. Gabe doesn’t like that subject too much, but he holds his tongue.
After an hour of catching up, Mia pulls a big envelope from her purse. She smiles and glances between us. Aunt Mel and Gabe don’t say a word, only watch my every move.
“Go ahead. Open it, A. It’s a thanks for volunteering at the shelter and making those women feel good.”
My hands shake as I slide the envelope open, carefully removing the pages. My eyes scan the front and immediately fill with tears.
I keep reading as the tears fall, one hand covering my mouth. I look up at Mia, and she’s smiling through her own tears.
Gabe’s hands slide around me, pulling me close to him, to his warmth.
Kayla’s beaming as she watches me. “It’ll only ever be you,” she whispers, and I cry harder.
I have all I could ever want now.
I have Gabe.
My mother’s spirit lives within me.
And now, I have the adoption papers for Kayla.
I feel complete.
Epilogue
Alicia
One year later
Gabe unlocks the door and pushes it open, my breath held in excitement. The day has finally come. We’re moving into our own spacious apartment not far from where we were, but big enough for all three of us. And Luna, of course.
“Ahh,” I squeal and clasp my hands together. The apartment is gorgeous, with floor-to-ceiling windows, a view of the city skyline pouring into our living room.
I smile. Just like Ruby’s place. Gabe knew what I wanted.
Kayla runs off to her room, the space triple the size of our last apartment. She even has her own bathroom since our master comes with its attached bathroom.
Gabe follows me around as I point out where I think furniture would look good, trying to see the place set-up in my mind.
When we make it to the bedroom, Gabe tumbles me to the ground and I giggle when he brushes my curls back, bringing his soft lips to mine.
“Kayla will catch us,” I mutter against his mouth, and he smiles before devouring my lips, his tongue dancing with my own.
“Nah, she’s too busy with that damn phone of hers,” Gabe says between kisses, his mouth trailing down my neck.
Gabe and I kiss and tickle each other until he drags me back up, our furniture and moving men waiting patiently
outside.
He squeezes my ass and slaps it gently, wrapping his arms around me from the back. His hot breath finds my ear, and he whispers, “To be continued later.”
I grin, a shiver running from my head to my toes.
Yup, he’s still got it.
And I’m still 100 percent addicted.
A week in our apartment and I’ve finally disposed of the last box. In between clients and keeping tabs on Kayla, I’ve managed to unpack and set up the entire apartment. Luna is in heaven with her mini backyard we were able to set up for her. That dog loves being outside and running all over her small patch of grass.
We’d thought about getting a house, but I was afraid. It felt weird putting permanent roots down. Not that I’m thinking of leaving. I just felt…I don’t know…not ready is the best way to put it. I still enjoy visiting my mom’s home, a private getaway from the city. Plus, seeing my aunt Mel is important to me.
Gabe understood. He wants me happy and right now I’m perfectly happy with our gorgeous apartment.
My career is well established and Gabe’s up for a promotion. Kayla’s enjoying school still, her social life having flourished over the past several months. She’s hardly home, but now that she’s sixteen, I try to give her the space she needs instead of constantly nagging her. The city is a big place, and I make her stay in touch.
Ruby has been seeing a new man and so far, it’s lasted for three months, her longest one yet. Maybe this fellow will survive. I love having her close and we make it a point to see each other at least twice a week whenever and wherever we can.
I’ve offered my mother’s house to Jax and Maddie a few times, but they’re still enjoying their Italian lifestyle. I went out to visit about six months ago with Gabe and Kayla, and we all had an amazing time.
I’d love for my mom’s house to be taken care of by them while they raise their baby boy. Maybe one day they’ll decide to join us.
Ava, Gabe’s cousin, is still struggling with it all. After Gabe told me everything that happened, I couldn’t help but reach out to Ava. Gabe found out her secure location and we’ve been able to have video chats with her on a weekly basis.
She’s in counseling and trying to deal with her grief and fears, but I know it’s not easy, and Gabe carries so much guilt when it comes to her. Talking to each other is helping both of them, and I hope they’ll be able to heal one day.
