“So, you mug! You don’t give a damn?…” That’s how he talks to me!… “You’re leaving it all to me?…”
“No! That’s not so!…”
“Maybe it wasn’t you?…”
There it goes! He’s at it again!… He’s starting!… He’s stubborn! Goddamn it!
“It wasn’t you who tossed him around!… I suppose it wasn’t you? Maybe I was the one who was drunk?”
The gall! He’s pulling a fast one! He still dares!
“A dream!… A dream!…” I answer.
Ah! He can’t control himself… He’s foaming!… Some act!… He gets off the bench to yell at me… for better effect! Ah! He’s on the wrong tack! He makes us laugh!… He’s trying hard!… He’s working himself up!… He’s gesticulating, the lunkhead!… standing there right in front of us… He absolutely wants me to confess! He bounces around, jumps on the grass!… With fury! With hot air!…
“And the hell with you, you big dope! A dream! A dream!” I shriek… I’m not at all excited!… I want to see how far he’ll jump!
“You’re warming us up, lunkhead!… But a cup of coffee would be even better!…”
I let him have it!…
Ah! I’m not at all excited!… It calms me to see him in such a stew!…
Can you imagine! Can you imagine! What screams!… The lunatic! Hysterical!… Worse than Delphine almost! She starts having fun too!… She makes a spectacle of herself… Yowling!… Laughing!… Kicking up!… I swear, at it again!… Now they’re both at it! She clucking away like that and he crazy with rage! That I’m just sitting there indifferent!… Taking it easy and not giving a damn!
He can croak there raving!… I won’t budge except for coffee!… Good and hot! And a nip! Won’t budge, Delphine neither!… Our mind’s made up… we huddle together!… We’re shivering… and we’re laughing!… He starts insulting us again!… People are walking around us…
“Come on!” I decide… “Let’s go!…”
It’s getting idiotic.
“Let’s go where?…” he asks…
“Why, to see Cascade! You don’t remember?… It was your idea!”
It really was his idea…
“And what about the old guy? You’re leaving him like that?… You don’t care?… With the door open?”
He thought of everything.
It’s true that we hadn’t closed up!… That we’d left everything as is!… That was bad! What a binge!… You could see the door open from our bench, you could see it from there… Had to go back and close the door!… The least of our troubles!…
“All right! Then what’re you going to do?”
I saw he had a scheme…
“We’ll take him down!”
“Down where?”
“To the cellar!”
“And then what?”
“We’ll come back tonight with the men.”
“Good!” I said… “You’re smart!…”
It’s true that it wasn’t a dumb idea… in the cellar, that was a little better…
“You want me to help you?…”
“I sure do!…”
Good! I make an effort… I stand up… I shouldn’t have… feel like vomiting again… sleeping too… I feel the torpor getting me again…
“Let’s go! Get a move on!”
He’s hustling me.
I’m on my feet again… I take Delphine’s arm… we’re in front of the house… the door wide open… that’s a fact… the shop as is… We go in… nothing has moved… Still and all it was queer… We weren’t drunk… We walk through the shop… there was the body on the floor… there on its belly… in the overcoats… the silks… the soaked rug, a pool, the turban in the puddle…
“Come on!” He shakes me… “Let’s go!… Take him by the cape… Delphine, you the legs!… Let’s go! Lift!”
You can’t imagine how heavy he was! Even heavier than on the stairway!… He weighed around two hundred fifty pounds! It was like lead, only soft… He was rolling all over… You couldn’t get a grip on him… all flabby, enormous padding… The three of us got him down… the cellar staircase… the trapdoor open, luckily… the two of us eased him down… the wide staircase… the cellar passage full of sand… We laid him there… he sure was heavy!… We just laid him right down… in the middle of the cellar, on the sand… and it was all dark! Just the water lamp for the whole manoeuvre!…
It was quite a big cellar… a vast vault… but what a junk heap! Much worse than the shop! What a chaos!… All the second-hand odds and ends! Tons, piles of rubbish!… Cartloads of everything!
“We’ll leave him here! Hell, that’ll do!…”
I sit down, I’m puffing, it knocked me out… on one of the steps… in the darkness… I’m resting. Delphine, right on the sand.
“Ah! We made it!” I remark… “It’s done!…”
We were about to go up again… I’m telling everything exactly as it was.
“Hey!” Boro suddenly calls out, he grabs my arm as if he’s heard a noise… something upstairs in the shop. I listen, I don’t hear anything…
“Sh!” he orders… “Don’t move, I’m going to see what’s up… There’re people!”
He scoots up, he leaves us all alone just like that… It wasn’t funny… with the corpse!… He does what he says… He goes up… And he shuts the big trapdoor on us! right in the dark… Ah! That was laying it on!… I didn’t understand! Ah! He’s shutting us in!
“Hey! Hey!…” I call… “Shit! What the hell!…” He doesn’t answer… Not a word!… I hear him walking, moving furniture, putting things over our heads, right on the trapdoor… Ah! Then I start roaring!…
“Boro! Boro! What the hell are you doing?…”
He continues, he’s making a lot of noise… he’s throwing things down… a raft of stuff on the trapdoor… Ah! He’s shutting us in!… I don’t hear anyone with him… he’s all alone in the shop!… Ah! That does it!… Suspicion!… Hell! I’m sure!… Ah! That does it! he’s shutting us in!… He’s locking us up!…
I clutch the steps!… I bang the door!…
“Boro!…” I scream… “Open up!…”
Go fuck yourself!… I try to do something… I set my back against the wall… It’s stuck! Shit! What did he put there?… The lousy traitor!… Everything in the shop!… I heave again!… I’m forcing… Oooooh! Whshhh!… The rat!… It’s giving!… Just a crack… I see the shop… a ray of light!… I take a better stance… I’ve got a strong back… Oooh! Whshhh! Oh whshhh… there it goes!… It’s coming! I’ve pushed it back!… I’ve got an opening!… Just then plop!… Right in the mush!… I get smacked!… Right in the mug!… Wham!… I get groggy!… I tumble over!… Backwards!… From the crack! I let go!… The trapdoor crashes!… Falls back! Clack! It’s that bandit!… Boom!… Thunder bursting in the darkness!… Right in the cellar!… At the same time!… Amidst all the junk!… Ah! It’s magical!… Right in the mug!… The rubbish comes down on me… He’s the one who threw the gadget! Dirty dog… a terrific explosion!… Him again!… That’s it!… Like at the Dingby… I suspected it!… I should have suspected!… I’m whirling around in the plaster!… In the dark!… I’m pulled in! Rolled over! Flattened out! All the junk and timber fall on my mug!… I call Delphine… “Delphine!”… She answers!… She’s stuck in the sand… she’s screaming… she’s not dead yet… everything fell on her head!… Under a heap of chunks of wood… I feel my way… I don’t see anything… I catch hold of her… I clutch her!… By the shoes… I disentangle her… I yank at her!… She screams… but it’s nothing… she’s in a kind of sand tank… under a heap of broken cases… I tug at the whole shebang… pull it all along!… All that in pitch darkness…
“It’s a bomb!…” I explain… “It’s Boro!…”
She doesn’t understand… she’s choking… it�
�s full of bitter smoke… the whole cellar… but not cigarette smoke… the real thing! It’s coming from the back, I sniff, it’s burning! It’s a fire!… I see sparks… in the smoke… Delphine really starts screaming… as if I were killing her!…
“All right, Delphine! There’s nothing the matter with you!… Help me!” I shout… so she can push the trapdoor with me!…
“I’m blind!…” she answers…
“You’re not! It’s the smoke!… The cellar!…”
She’s panicky… she wants to get away! To run to the back! Into the fire! I get hold of her again… I pull her to the steps!…
“Come on, you bitch!… Together!…”
I wanted to raise the door again… A last effort!…
“Push, darling!… Push!…”
It rose a tiny bit… things were toppling down! Wobbling… Boom! It was furniture piled up… All the junk!… We weren’t getting anywhere! They were cabinets!… Dead sure!… Buffets that weighed a ton!…
“Push!” I repeated…
“But I am!…”
She was protesting. Smoke was coming from the shop… more smoke!… It was rushing in through the opening!… Smoke from everywhere!… Into the hole!… Into our cellar! From our pit! From the shop!… We were caught in the spirals… it came rushing up!… Choking everything!… Now the vixen was giving all she had! With all her might! Come on, no more groaning! Heave ho! Against the door!… She forgot about wanting to die!… No more Mary Stuart!… No more whining!… But it wasn’t giving, damn it! Heave ho! It dropped again… catastrophe! The door! Ba-ta-boom!… It was too heavy!… Needed something else!… I didn’t lose my head!… In spite of my sniffling, gasping and choking… I’m not flustered… keep cool!… I look for something hard… there… an iron!… Something… I feel around among the junk… in the dark… I grab an iron in the rubbish, a crowbar!… I ram it into the trapdoor, groping… my eyes hurt like mad… from the smoke… I ram it into the door and oop!… Heave ho! Both of us! We press down! Press down!… We get it up!… Ah it’s coming!… Heave ho! That’s it! It gives! Tumbles down! Everything! The whole works!… Topples over! Cases! Wardrobes!… The whole shebang… everything he’d piled on us!… The door loosens, opens! That does it!… Made it!… But it’s murder! The shop’s burning! What smoke!… The whole place! The whole floor! The fire’s roaring!… All over the house… the flames are licking, racing, snarling… Wow! Lady!… There’re sheets of flame… We’re sneezing… sniffling… suffocating… It’s too much!… It’s worse than in the hole!…
“Do something!” Delphine yells… She grabs my hands! She clutches at me!
“No!… No!… Come on with me!…”
We’ve got to push the door some more… so we can get out… out in the open… make a dash for it!… And oop! Outside! Out through the flames! Right through everything! Knock the stuff over!… Come on! Let’s go! No monkey business!… I see the door at the other end… the daylight… the white frame… into the smoke… we’ve got to tear through!… Ah!… Right in the bull’s-eye!
“Let’s go Delphine! Careful!… together! Now! One! Two! Three!… Right through it!… Come on!…” We dash forward… I hadn’t noticed!
Plop! I stumble! I topple over! I’m lifted up! Carried away! Two hands! Ten hands clutch me! Grab me!… Rush me off!… The works!… Ah! the smoke!… I couldn’t see a thing!… But outside! In the open! The firemen!… The people!… They’re all over!… We’re outside! We’re saved!… What a crowd… Ah! The firemen!… Ah! What acrobats! With their helmets! Brass! Ladders! The streams of water… shooting, spattering! Squirting all over! They grab us… water us!… Drench us!… I’m not burnt!… Neither is Delphine!… That doesn’t matter!… They douse us anyway!… They soak us, plunge us into the enormous tub!… They fish us out, shake us, rub us down, roll us up in blankets… It’s the excitement!… A rescue!… And then questions, words… bowing and scraping! They congratulate us! Shake hands!… Hurrah for our courage!… Hugs! “Hello! Hello!…” They saw us cut through the flames!… It was magnificent!… Ah! A rousing rescue! Marvellous! Superb! Attaboy! What a jump! Atta good girl!… They’re all talking together! And the questions! They’re screaming! “Claben!… Claben!…” The crowd’s yelling for him…
They want to know where Claben is! Old Claben!… What’s happened to him? His customers are very unhappy!… Ah! They’re worried!… They get close to the flames… They come back!… The whole house is on fire now!
“Inside!” I point, I’m breathless… dying from the effort… “He’s in there!… In there!…” I point to the flames… the giant fire… The furnace that’s roaring, growling…
“Oh!” they all exclaim. “Oh!”
It’s too horrible.
“Yes, he was sleeping in the shop!”
I keep repeating it, mumbling… I’m fully convinced… it’s got to be sure… absolutely!… Naturally…
“Did you see him?…”
“Yes, yes!…”
Not the slightest doubt… That way there won’t be any mistake… It’s a sure thing!…
The house was crackling horribly… from top to bottom!… The firemen couldn’t get at it any more… not even approach it from a hundred yards!… It was just a torch… a wild enormous torch… the flames were shooting from all the windows… The crowd was getting bigger and bigger… they must have come from all neighbourhoods… a terrible jabbering in addition to the crackling of the flames… all around the burning mass… they must have seen it from far off… from farther off than the Devil… They’d come rushing up in crowds!… A storm of jabberers!… The rescuers of the Order of St John with their soft little hats took good care of us… Delphine and me!… Quite specially… their heroic survivors!… They cheered us up… crammed us, coddled us… biscuits… brandy… hot coffee!… Ah! At last!…
“Coffee!” I said to Delphine.
She straightened her hat, coquettish immediately!… Her silk dress was scorched… That shows what a close shave we had… she’d lost her gloves… We watched the house in flames… the House of Claben… I wasn’t thinking of anything else!…
Nothing’s so fascinating as flames, especially flying around like that, shooting, dancing in the sky… It just makes you stare… spellbound… the shapes they take… just dazed, dopey, gaping… sitting on the grass… Delphine too, beside me.
Someone takes hold of me… shakes me, damn it! Grabs me, hugs me to his body!… What’s going on?
“My child!… My child!…”
I thought it was the firemen again!… That they were going to dunk us again! That they were going to rescue us again! Oh! What a horror! I scream! I yell! But it wasn’t the firemen! I look! It was Boro! The louse himself! Suddenly gushing! Ah! The fairy! Hugging! Tears!
“My child!… My child!…”
He embraces us… kisses us!… Ah! What a fine chap! He’s so happy to see us again!…
“Neither one of you is burnt?…”
Ah! He’s so excited!… He’s squealing with joy!… He’s crying… He’s yapping around us!…
“Oh, my children!… Oh, my children!…”
It’s such a moving scene!…
“Are you safe and sound, my children?…”
The people rush up… they all want to kiss us…
It’s a unanimous effusion… What can I say?… I kiss him too… I kiss anyone!… I kiss a fireman! A St John!…
But he doesn’t give us time to think…
“Let’s go home!… Let’s hurry!…”
“Home where?…”
We don’t know…
He grabs Delphine by the arm… off they go together… I’m going to follow… I’m going to follow them… I look at the house again… the flames are shooting up! Whirling around!… Climbing… waltzing up above!… The yellow, the red wreaths!… Ah! Some furnace!… I’m not going to sta
y around!… I’d get burnt again!… I get going… I force myself… I catch up with them… Ah! Now, my boy, you’re going to get it! When we pass the kiosk I go for him!…
“Listen, you big louse!… Listen you mug!…”
He doesn’t answer… he’s stepping on it…
Ah! That’s nerve for you!…
His arm in Delphine’s and oops! She’s got to hustle!… Get a move on! She asks for a second!… She’s all in!… A stitch in her side!… Then her shoe!… Her heel’s twisting! And damn it! And damn it!… He won’t let go!… Shake a leg!… Shake a leg! She’s hobbling… “Come on!” he pinches her… what a shriek!… The people look at us… the whole pavement!… We were moving fast… to the station, the Stepham entrance… They’re swallowed up… the Tube… I catch up… he gets the tickets… At last! We squat! Oof! In the train… it bumps along… I ask him where we’re going…
“To Cascade’s, of course! You know well enough!…”
I irritate him by asking…
We pass one station… two… three…
Cascade’s? I don’t like that… I don’t want to… that’s enough!… Shit! I don’t want to be dragged around like that… disgusting!… It’s awful!… I don’t care if I’m sick, nuts, knocked out, limp and everything… Hell! I won’t go with them!… I won’t follow them!… The big filthy pig! And the other one, the old witch! Go on, strut!… I’ve had enough of their guts!… And of Cascade too!… Suddenly it hits me, it sets me on fire! Ah! What a dope I am! I never in my life want to see them again! Ah! I’ll have the strength, goddamn it!… None of them! The little trains give you a jolting… They’re jerky… They’re nervous… We pass a station… we’ll soon come to Clapham…
“You’re not angry?” he asks me…
Guignol's Band Page 19
