by Lux Miller
“An angry Luca is a goddamn killing machine that bends to your will and bidding… A happy Luca might have something to live for and you couldn't accept that! Now she hates me… the one woman in this world that I could have been happy with and she fucking hates me!”
I struggle against the hazy heaviness that has me plastered in place on the bed. I want to tell Luca that I don’t hate him. Not even a little. But the blackness that blankets me keeps me silent as Luca’s tirade continues.
It’s hard to focus on Luca’s irate words as my mind gets foggy, but I’m able to catch a few final words before I drift into darkness. “Don’t… just don’t speak to me at all, Father! You’d damn well better hope he pulls through this. And if anything happens to Emily or if Dante doesn’t survive this, you’ll be dead to me…”
EIGHTEEN
I wake up feeling like my mouth is stuffed with cotton. My throat is so dry, I choke with the effort of trying to form words. My entire body aches, but my arm throbbing is what makes me moan in pain. I wince as I crack open one eye, blinking at the harsh white lighting that assaults my vision.
Coughing, I push myself to a sitting position and open both eyes slowly. “Luca?” I cringe as my voice reaches my ears. I sound like a croaking frog that’s been on the losing end of one too many games of Frogger.
He grips my hand gently in his and sighs, “You’re fucking crazy, you know that? A goddamn genius, but completely batshit fucking crazy..”
I shrug my shoulders as I close my eyes. I shake my head and open my mouth to speak, but Luca cuts me off before I force out the words. “What you did was literally insane! I have seen some of the scariest, most ludicrous shit on the streets of New Orleans and seeing THAT was unnerving. Brilliant, but fucking unnerving…”
I swallow several times and cough again. My throat feels like the desert and it makes forming words nearly impossible. Luca must realize what’s happening because he grabs a bottle of water and twists off the lid, then hands it to me. He watches me expectantly. I guzzle down half the bottle, clearing my throat several times to try to dislodge the parched lump that has settled there.
When it no longer feels like the Sahara desert has taken up residence in my throat, I set the bottle aside. Then I cast my eyes at the man who is watching me. Shaking my head slowly, I ask, “What?”
He cracks a small smile and shakes his head. He runs one hand over his ruggedly handsome features and sighs. “How are you so chill about saving a man’s life?”
My heart skips a beat at Luca’s words. My eyes shoot to his as the rest of my face goes completely blank. Stammering, I force out, “He… he’s alive?”
Luca nods slowly. “Yeah. Can’t say he’s out of the woods yet, but he’s alive. Which is a lot better than if you hadn’t gone bonkers out there. You really pulled some Grey’s Anatomy bullshit out of your ass… have you really seen something like that happen before?”
I chuckle softly and nod. “Yeah, I have. It wasn’t for gunshot wounds though. The kid was dying of an overdose and they did a bloodletting thing to drain the blood that was full of drugs. The details are fuzzy, but it was something that stuck with me.”
Luca shakes his head. “While I’m glad you came to the rescue, I have to ask…. Why? Why would you do something so risky for someone you barely know?”
I narrow my eyes at Luca and sigh. “Dante and I are more alike than you realize. Pushed into a lifestyle we can’t escape… doubted by those in positions of authority over us. We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t… “
Luca opens his mouth to respond, but I shake my head and gently place my index finger over his lips. “Despite your thinly-veiled attempts to make me hate you, you and I both know this…” I quickly flick my other hand back and forth between us and continue, “...is a lot more complicated that either of us intended for it to be.”
He sighs against my finger and nods, but doesn’t attempt to deny what I’ve said. I lick my lips and continue, “I’m no hero, Luca. Just another dog in the fight for survival… While I may have little to gain, I have nothing to lose…”
He pulls my hand away from his mouth and threads his fingers through mine, narrowing his gaze at me. He then brings my hand back up to his mouth and plants tiny kisses across each of my fingers, keeping his gaze on mine. “I don’t know what it’s worth to you, but you have gained my respect, Emily…”
An unexpected warmth floods through my body at Luca’s subtle act of tenderness. It is short-lived as a now-familiar voice breaks through the moment. “Indeed… you’ve earned mine as well.”
Luca groans as he drops my hand and whips around to face the intimidating man now standing in the doorway. He stands and blocks my view of Matteo as he growls, “Father… to what do we owe this…” Luca’s voice drops an octave as he grinds out his words, “...pleasure?”
A hearty, dark chuckle sounds from the doorway. “Damn boy… Mike wasn’t kidding. You took the orders of pretending to like the girl and ran with them. You’re in here baring your teeth like you’re her goddamned guard dog. I would advise you to remember your place…”
Anger rolls of off Luca in wave. He spits words out one by one, “And I would advise you not to provoke a caged animal… they tend to bite...”
Matteo’s laughter turns maniacal as he responds, “What kind of magical golden pussy does she have? You took your dick for a dip and now you’ve got fucking balls of steel… I must say I’m impressed son. You’ve never cared before what happens to a woman after you’ve fucked their brains out.”
I know it’s risky, but I reach down and grab hold of Luca’s hand and tug him back toward me. “Luca, please… if his respect is all he’s willing to give, that’s worth more than him considering me a pile of dog shit on his shoe.”
Luca turns to look at me and shakes his head. “You saved the life of at least one of his sons tonight. Respect is the very least he owes you.” Luca drops into Italian once again. When he’s done with his spiel, Matteo clears his throat nervously and shakes his head.
Luca nods and performs the sign of the cross, then glances back down at me before fixing his stare on Matteo once more. “How would you feel if one of the men talked about Momma the way you’ve spoken of Emily? The way the men spoke of her? Like she’s a piece of meat to be thrown to the dogs?”
Matteo’s face is dark as he watches his son with disdain. “Your Momma is my wife. The men wouldn’t dare…”
Luca nods, making grand gestures with his hands. “And Emily is my girlfriend. It’s the same goddamned thing! You and the men need to back the fuck off of her. From this moment forward, she’s protected under our oath of Omerta…”
Matteo scoffs. “She’s your fake girlfriend. Omerta is a sacred oath among our men. It doesn’t protect fakery. That’s a big declaration for a man who had to be coerced into the initial agreement to pretend to date her…”
I can’t stop the gasp that slips past my lips at Matteo’s accusation. I turn my gaze to Luca, who sighs. “That’s because you gave me no other choice. Pretend to date her or you’d kill her!”
Shrugging, Matteo spreads his hands in front of him like he’s won. “I rest my case. You pretended to date her because you had no other choice. She agreed to go along with the farce because otherwise, she’d be maggot fodder. You’re an attractive man, Luca… one with power and fortune. Any woman would trip over themselves for the chance to ride that train. What did she have to lose? A little dignity? You already know she has a habit of fucking her employer, so the fact that you tapped that ass is no surprise.”
Luca balls both of his hands into fists, the muscles in his forearms cording against his skin. “I stopped pretending weeks ago, long before we slept together. What she and I shared intimately was real.”
Matteo’s face blanches for a moment, but his composure is quickly regained as he eyes his son. His eyes flick to me and in that moment, I want to crawl under the covers and hide from his penetrating glare. He’s angry and rightfully
so. Luca is blasting defiance at him, but still something else lurks just below Matteo’s anger. I shrink under his scrutiny and close my eyes, willing the moment to end.
“Father, I know I’ve sworn my soul to the devil and la famiglia owns me. But while I still draw breath on this Earth, I urge you to stop meddling in my personal affairs. You said yourself that she has earned your respect for saving Dante’s life… let that be enough for you to trust her with mine.”
I take the moment of silence that follows to crack my eyes open, watching the two men. Matteo scowls as his gaze shifts back and forth between Luca and me. “Just because she deserves my respect, doesn’t mean she deserves my son.”
Matteo’s calculating eyes bore into me. Despite my desire to dive back under the covers to hide from the intimidating man, I return his stare.
Luca growls, “You can’t make decisions for me forever, Father. You may own my soul, but you don’t own my heart.”
Finally, Matteo breaks the uncomfortable eye contact and turns on his heel. With a wave of his hand, he seals my fate. “Fine. Do what you want with her, but don’t mix your personal matters into la famiglia business. See that your dalliance doesn’t interfere with your obligation to la famiglia. War is coming and you’ll find yourself at the forefront of battle sooner than you anticipate.”
Matteo steps out of the room, but turns and delivers a chilling final statement. “One word of advice, son… don’t let the enemy fool you. Don’t grow complacent. The moment you let down your guard, your enemy will strike. When they learn what this woman means to you, they will use her as a weapon against you. You may find yourself between a rock and a hard place with an impossible decision to make. If you’re truly willing to commit to this woman, be sure you’re ready to accept the consequences.”
Luca stares in silence at the empty doorway as Matteo disappears. Knowing that I shouldn't have been privy to that conversation, I pick at the sheets and will myself to become invisible.
Finally, Luca exhales a heavy sigh and turns to me. “You don’t have to stay, Emily. I don’t need his money. I can still pay you the ten thousand you were promised. Hell, I can double it even. I can provide a life for you beyond your wildest imagination… just tell me where you want to go and I’ll make it happen. Tell me how I can repay you for saving Dante’s life and I’ll arrange it. “
Swallowing hard, I look up at him. I shake my head and pat the bed beside me. “Did you mean it?”
Luca narrows his eyes at me questioningly. “Did I mean what?”
I motion to the doorway. “Did you mean what you said to your father about me? That you haven’t been pretending to be attracted to me?”
He blinks at me, an incredulous look on his face. “Did the lovemaking last night leave any doubt in your mind that I’m attracted to you?” He snatches my hand and presses my flattened palm against his crotch. I can already feel him hardening under my touch. “Doesn’t this tell you how attracted I am to you?”
I gasp and clench my hands around him. He groans softly, but doesn’t push my hand away. “Emily, you drive me insane… on so many levels. I could fuck you for days and never be satisfied. I could lick your pussy until my tongue can no longer move and I would still want more. I could kiss you until my lips are numb and it still wouldn’t be enough. You could suck my dick until you’ve milked every last drop of cum out of my body. I’d still beg for you to take me down your throat. You affect me in a way that no woman has ever affected me before… I don’t just want you, I need you.”
I know that my cheeks are flaming red. I try to bring my hands up to cover my face. Luca shakes his head and prevents me from hiding my embarrassment. “Does it bother you to know that I fantasize about having you, Emily?”
Squeaking softly, I shake my head as he leans over me, grabbing hold of my wrists and pinning them over my head. He presses his upper body against mine and brings his face down to hover inches above mine. “Will you let me kiss you?”
I nod quickly and he closes the distance between us before another thought can materialize in my head. The kiss is forceful and heady as it takes my breath away. He buries his hands in my hair as he pulls his lips from mine, mumbling against them. “Emily… my body craves you. It needs you like it needs air… I’ve had a taste of you and I don’t know if I can survive without you.”
My stomach flips at his words. How can a man that is so cruel and sadistic be uttering such sweet words to me as he invades my senses? Shaking my head, I press my hands to his cheeks. “Luca… Luca, look at me.”
He opens his eyes and my breath catches in my throat as our eyes meet. I brush my thumbs over his cheekbones. My eyes search his for any indication that what I’m about to say won’t fall on deaf ears. “Luca, I can’t… I can’t just be a plaything for you. I can’t separate my emotions from my physical needs. The sex with you… God, it was incredible, but I can’t not get attached. I’m trying so hard to ignore the painful need you’ve created inside of me.”
Luca swallows, nodding. He closes his eyes and seals his lips over mine. A thousand jumbled thoughts mix together in my head as he kisses me, long and slow. He traces his tongue along the seam of my lips and I part them for him, despite my better judgement. Our tongues do a slow tango of passion as he kisses me senseless, his hands tangled in my hair.
When he finally pulls his lips from mine, both of us panting for breath, he mutters, “Then don’t...”
I brush my fingertips over his lips with a sigh. “Don’t what, Luca?”
He sits up beside me and stares down a me, a smile tugging at his lips. As my hands fall to his sides, he gathers them up in his and threads his fingers through mine. “Don’t ignore it.”
I chuckle slightly and shake my head. “Maybe I’m woozy from losing so much blood in the donation, but I could’ve sworn you just suggested that you want more from me than sex?”
Luca nods, his gaze serious. “I do, Emily…”
I pull my hands free of his, then pat the back of his hand. “Luca, everyone knows you don’t do relationships. You don’t do commitment. You do casual, wanton sex, not girlfriends. The closest thing you’ve had to a girlfriend is Amber and even she couldn’t handle your lifestyle long term.”
Luca flinches at the mention of her name. He shakes his head fervently. “Trust me, Amber never wanted to be my girlfriend. All she ever wanted was my dick and my money and not necessarily in that order. One was a means to get the other.”
I’m sure the look of disgust is obvious on my face. Luca scrunches up his features and holds up one hand in defeat. “I know, I know. Nasty. I’m not proud of my past. I’ve stuck my cock in more sketchy cunts than I’d like to admit. Probably more than I can count, but never has being with a woman affected me the way that being with you did.”
He sighs and leans down over me, whispering, “Tell me to leave and I will, Emily. I’ll take what’s left of my pride and I will walk out of your life forever, but you have to know…” He rests his forehead against mine. “Never before has being with a woman destroyed me the way that being with you has. Never before has being with a woman left me utterly devastated at the possibility of losing her.”
My breath hitches in my throat at his words. I brush one hand gently through his hair as I whisper in response, “Luca… you don’t know what you’re saying.”
He sighs, his voice barely above a whisper, “Emily, if you’re gonna break my heart, just break it…”
NINETEEN
It’s been two days since the harrowing events that brought Dante to the brink of death. Though his color is better and his blood pressure has stabilized, he’s being kept in a medically-induced coma. At least until after the completion of the last of the surgeries to fully stabilize him. From what Luca has told me, Dante’s injuries are grave. He has a punctured lung, a shattered left wrist and his right shoulder has been all but pulverized by bullets.
Luca has been quiet throughout every discussion with doctors. He’s barely left Dante’s room
except to switch to the surgical waiting room. Though I’ve only left his side to use the bathroom or run down to the cafeteria to grab sandwiches and coffee, he’s taken bedside vigil to a new level. I don’t blame him. Though they’ve had their differences, I’ve seen firsthand how close they are. They are more than just brothers. Dante may not officially be part of the family business, but they’re basically business partners too.
The doctors say Dante’s lucky to be alive. Several bullets grazed him, but more than one hit their mark. Nine to be exact. I couldn’t believe that number when Luca told me. How does someone survive being hit by nine bullets?!? Since I donated my blood to him, he’s been put under three different times to remove shrapnel and bullet fragments. They’ve repaired some of the more serious damage, but one massive surgery looms. The doctors have concluded that quality-of-life surgeries will have to wait.
