I wish my Garden wasn’t so scary at times, he thought to himself. Am I really the only one who can see all this?
‘Alditha,’ he said. Alditha didn’t hear him, she was focused on flying the broomstick and catching the orb. ‘Alditha.’
‘What?’ Alditha yelled back, her voice caught by the wind and thrown away almost before it reached him.
‘What do you see down there?’ He almost screamed.
She laughed. ‘Scaredy cat. It’s only Blue Dragon Forest. So what? Sagar won’t burn you or eat you while you’re with me. Don’t worry.’
Harper looked down again at the vast, unfamiliar expanse of geography spooling out beneath them—and at Blue Dragon Forest at the same time.
‘Just that?’ he cried, needing to be sure. ‘Just Blue Dragon Forest?’
Alditha chuckled. ‘That’s my brave owl. Yes, it’s just Blue Dragon Forest, absolutely.’
Harper hooted softly against her back. ‘That’s what I thought you’d say,’ he muttered, far too quietly for her to hear.
Carefully steering her broomstick, Alditha swooped down, skimming the dark treetops as she did so. The smell of pine and damp woodland grew ever stronger as the forest appeared out of the swirling landscape below. Here was the beginning of the North Garden.
‘Hang on,’ she yelled back to Harper. ‘I’m going to try something.’
Harper curled his talons into the fabric of her black cloak even further.
‘Broom, broom, tried and true,
Make me magic’s best lasso.’
Harper peeked out around Alditha’s side, not liking what he’d heard. Sure enough, the broom slowed down slightly, allowing the orb to put a little more distance between them. Alditha gripped the broomstick hard, pulled it upward, then flicked it down. Harper saw a rope of golden dust zip out of the front of the broomstick, like a loop of power spooling out from the tip of the broom. It looped around the flying orb and tightened. Immediately, the broom sped up, forcing Alditha to grip on with her knees, and Harper to close his big eyes. They were dragged around the sky, up and down and loop-the-loop, till Harper wished he hadn’t had quite so much breakfast with the Green Man.
‘Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh,’ he said again, and was mystified to hear the sound of Alditha giggling helplessly as they rode the sky, no longer under their control.
He dared to open one eye again to see what she was giggling about, but couldn’t understand it. Then he saw the orb turn a fuzzy, glowing red. The colour grew deeper, and deeper as he watched.
‘Errr...Alditha.’
‘I see it,’ she yelled. ‘Did I mention you might want to hold on TIGHT?’
Suddenly the red colour flared, and the golden ‘rope’ of magic connecting the sphere and the broomstick snapped, falling away into sparkles.
The broomstick, which had grown accustomed to flying at the speed of the orb, shot past it, and Alditha lost control. They went tumbling head over wings over feet, time and time and time again across the sky, somersaulting wildly in mid-air. Through the chaos and the colour and the feeling really sick, Harper heard the broomstick speaking calmly.
‘Turn around when possible,’ it instructed them.
‘Nooooooooo ppppppprrrrrrobnbbblemmm,’ said the owl as they tumbled through the air.
There comes a point, when tumbling through the air, when it stops being something the air is willing to let you do. It decides you’ve had your fun, and drops you to the ground like a hot frog.
The air dropped them to the ground like a hot frog.
Alditha landed with an ‘unff’ and Harper, who had more experience at difficult landings, tucked his wings around himself and closed his eyes. He bounced along the forest floor like a pebble flung across a lake. When he finally landed, there was a soft, wet thud.
‘Harper?’ demanded Alditha, laying on her back with her hat down over her eyes. ‘Are you alright, bird-friend of mine?’
Harper groaned. ‘I feel like mouse-food.’
Alditha grinned beneath the brim of her hat. Then, as if from nowhere, she began to chuckle.
‘Something funny, you broomstick-riding eyebrow-waggler?’
‘We’ve lost it,’ said Alditha through what were becoming gut-laughs. ‘We’ve lost the orb. But did you see it move?’ She burst into laughter again.
‘I saw it nearly get us killed,’ snapped Harper, struggling for the third time that day to find his feet after a bad landing.
‘Let me guess,’ said Alditha. ‘It’s Skoros’ fault.’
Harper flicked his gaze around the patch of forest where they’d crashed. He hadn’t thought of it till now, but it would be just the wizard’s style to build something so monstrous.
‘Wouldn’t be surprised,’ he said, and Alditha exploded into fits of laughter again.
‘You have reached your final destination,’ said the broom, and Alditha howled even louder.
Harper worried, though. It was alright for Alditha, she was a witch. Although she was generally a ‘good’ witch...a witch was still a witch. There wasn’t much that tried to eat them. But there were plenty of things in Blue Dragon Forest that might decide a little Harper between meals was just the snack they needed to see them through till lunch.
There was Sagar, the Blue Dragon himself, for one. Harper found the floor of the forest quickly and narrowed his eyes, looking for anything that might be keen to nab itself an owl sandwich. He was probably safer in Alditha’s company, but felt like leaving immediately. He was upset at her reckless behavior.
__________
‘I’m forgetting something,’ said Celeste, frowning in a way that didn’t crease her forehead.
‘The gifts,’ said Alpha, its voice a little tinny and muffled. Now he was closer, the Green Man could see that when the voice spoke, Celeste’s headband glowed gently.
‘Oh yes.’ Celeste stuck her hand in a trouser pocket that seemed to be there only when her hand approached it. She pulled out a small satin bag, tied with a ribbon, and the Green Man watched her pocket disappear again. She held the bag out to him.
‘Oh. Erm...thank you,’ he said, curling branchy fingers around the bag. He opened it up. ‘Erm...yes. Thank you, again,’ he added. Inside were a small collection of perfectly round balls—some silvery-grey, others pulsing in colours that the Green Man couldn’t quite make out. He smiled. ‘What are they?’ he asked, trying to sound polite.
Celeste shrugged. ‘Just tokens from me to you, to show my squigirrrkle intentions on this planet.’
‘Your what, sorry?’ The Green man frowned at her.
‘My squigirrrkle intentions on this planet.’
‘That’s what I thought you said. I’m sorry, what does-?’
‘Alpha, run a tighter linguistic sub-routine,’ said Celeste. ‘What’s Gardenese for squigirrrkle?’
There was a long moment of silence, before Alpha replied: ‘Peaceful.’
Celeste frowned again, that same frown that never reached her forehead. ‘Are you sure? Seems to lose something in the translation.’
‘Confirmed,’ said Alpha. ‘Peaceful.’
Celeste shrugged. ‘Oh well, there you go. My pees-full intentions on this planet.’
‘Ah,’ said the Green Man. ‘Good. Best intentions, I’ve always thought.’
Celeste waited. She smiled. She rocked back and forth a little on her heels. Then finally she said ‘Do you...have any tokens for me?’
‘Ah,’ said the Green Man, catching on. ‘Oh. Errr...yes, I’m sure I have something. Do you like strawberry marshmallows? They’re my favourite.’
‘Alpha?’ asked Celeste. There was another long moment before the reply came back.
‘Strawberry marshmallows—no information.’
Celeste rolled her big violet eyes. ‘Sorry about him,’ she said. ‘He tries hard, but he’s a bit rubbish, as Greys go. I’m sure straw-berry marsh-minnows would be perfectly acceptable.’
‘Mallows,’ said the Green Man as he went to fetch some from his cup
board. He felt a pang of sorrow at having to part with his favourite treats, but he was a good host. He put the bag of little balls that Celeste had given him in the drawer where he kept his marshmallows, and offered the sweets to Celeste. She looked at them, then back at the Green Man.
‘You eat them,’ he said, taking one and popping it into his mouth. As always happened when he ate strawberry marshmallows, he smiled a big broad smile, and leaves grew fresh and deeply green along his arms.
Celeste blinked at him and took a sharp breath. The Green Man gulped. ‘Oh, don’t worry,’ he said, trying to reassure her. ‘I’m sure you won’t grow leaves. Well, fairly sure, anyway. I have a friend, Harper, and he’s never grown leaves from eating marshmallows, I promise.’
Celeste looked at him curiously, then picked a marshmallow from his hand, popped it into her mouth and chewed it, making a face.
‘Mmm,’ she said, still chewing, trying her best not to disappoint the Green Man. ‘It’s like eating a frrrninkle...only fruity.’
‘A frrrninkle?’ queried the Green Man.
‘Alpha?’ said Celeste.
‘Nearest translation for frrrninkle...slug,’ said Alpha, its voice coming through Celeste’s softly glowing headband.
‘There you are. It’s like eating a fruity slug,’ said Celeste, struggling to swallow the marshmallow. ‘Sorry about the translation software. I really should upgrade it, but you know how it is—every time they release an upgrade you have to reboot your whole scout ship, and it does tend to fall out of the sky when you do that. Anyway, that’s the diplomacy out of the way-’
The Green Man pulled his small collection of strawberry marshmallows back. He wasn’t entirely sure he liked them being thought of as fruity slugs. He knew one or two slugs who wouldn’t be best pleased with the comparison either. Still, if Celeste didn’t want them, it meant there were more left for him. He had an idea and extended his hand towards the strange girl-thing again. He grew a single, small, pristine leaf from the top of his finger.
‘For you,’ he said. ‘More portable than marshmallows.’
Celeste softly took the leaf from his finger and gazed at it, turning it over. It was one of his best and greenest, and it shimmered green and gold as she examined it. Then she lifted it to her mouth.
‘No,’ said the Green Man hastily. ‘That’s not for eating. That’s part of me. You just keep it, and when you look at it, it will remind you of your friend.’
‘Oh.’ Celeste blinked those big violet eyes again. ‘Thank you.’ She slid the leaf down the outside of her tunic, and a pocket opened up to take it, then disappeared again.
‘What’s that?’ she gasped, turning to look at the hole where the Green Man’s front door used to be. The Green Man turned and looked. There was nothing there to see.
But Celeste could hear something approaching—a something that was loud to her ultra-sensitive alien ears...
4
‘Bloomin’ witches,’ Harper muttered, stomping in the undergrowth extra hard in case Alditha was listening. ‘Bloomin’ wizards. Nobody listens around here, but that wizard’s a bloomin’ menace, with his hexperiments, and his whizzing balls of blitherin’ doom and his bats-’
He stopped and shuddered. The bats. He leaned backward, scanning the leaves of the trees, looking for anything black and grey and whispery. Listening for the wingbeat of the wretched creatures.
Normally, he was good at leaning back, but he was having a distracted day, and he didn’t realize what was happening till he began to fall backward. He scrabbled with his talons, managing to stay upright, and hoping Alditha hadn’t seen him.
‘Harper,’ she called.
Harper didn’t answer her. He wasn’t ready yet to forgive her for laughing at him. Then he heard her sturdy boots coming through the soft undergrowth of the forest.
‘Harper,’ she called again, more urgently this time. ‘Where are you, darling bird? Are you sulking?’
There she went again. He wasn’t sulking. He was doing his job as her familiar and her friend, trying to warn her about the wizard and his flying teacups and his flying silver balls of speedy death and, and, everything. And she wouldn’t take him seriously.
‘Ah, there you are,’ she said.
He turned his back to her.
‘Are you scared?’ she asked, softly. When he didn’t answer her, she began to intone a soft, plaintive mantra with a strong agricultural feel. Quickly, her chant became louder, clearer, turning into a type of song. Then, as if reciting a prayer to the forces of nature, she slowly sang a little verse:
‘Earth, water, fire and air,
Yours is the gown of the wanderer fair.
Myrrh, gold and frankincense, amethyst rare,
Ours is the crown of the kingdom to wear.’
As she finished singing, Harper felt a warm red glow surround him. He could even see the glow, just a little.
‘Safe now,’ said Alditha. ‘Safe from everything in the forest.’
Harper didn’t answer her for a long, long moment. ‘’cept the bats,’ he said then.
‘It’s daytime,’ said Alditha reasonably. ‘Skoros’ bats don’t come out till nighttime.’
‘Says the witch who thought it was a good idea to lasso a silver ball of death,’ muttered Harper.
‘You’re not being fair,’ she said, her voice hardening. ‘We have no evidence it meant us any harm.’
‘Is it lying abandoned in the middle of Blue Dragon Forest, then?’ he demanded, turning to face her. ‘Is it lucky to have escaped with its wings intact? No, it isn’t, is it? That would be us, wouldn’t it? And it would be the one who’s whizzed off back to Skoros Castle to tell its master all about Alditha the witch and Harper the owl, the numpties it left bowling about the sky like a pair of prize conkers.’
‘Thought you said Skoros would be in the teacup,’ said Alditha. ‘Besides, we have no evidence that Skoros built the orb.’
‘Oh please,’ said Harper, clacking his beak together. ‘Who else creeps about making all those metal things?’
Alditha opened her mouth to reply, but then her eyebrows drove down in a thoughtful frown, and her mouth clamped shut again. ‘That’s a good question,’ she said. ‘That might be the cleverest thing you’ve said all day, you bright bird.’ She stuck a finger in her ear and waggled it about, which Harper knew meant she was trying to rearrange some things in her head. It didn’t seem to work, and she pulled the finger out again and peered at it. Then she huffed and shrugged. ‘I think you’d better show me this flying teacup,’ she admitted. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think that could be insanely dangerous, that’s what I think,’ said Harper honestly.
‘Well if it’s insanely dangerous, you wouldn’t want the Green Man to face it, would you?’
Harper whistled. He hadn’t even thought about that when he’d flown off to tell Alditha the news. He’d abandoned his friend to the mercy of the wizard and his deadly flying teacup. He flapped his wings and landed on her shoulder, then turned around to face the same way as her.
Alditha patted his talons gently, then reached out her other hand.
‘Broom, broom, tried and true,
Come to me; it’s time we flew.’
The broomstick shot from where it had landed on the forest floor, straight to Alditha’s hand, and she threw one leg over it, crouching forward.
‘Oof,’ she said. ‘Next time we leave the cottage, remind me to bring my cushion. It’s no fun riding a broomstick without a saddle.’
‘Woo,’ said Harper, still trying not to be too friendly. She’d won him with the idea of saving the Green Man, but her refusal to admit it was Skoros who was controlling the sphere still rubbed him the wrong way. As if it could be anybody else.
More slowly than before, they began to rise into the air, and as they cleared the treeline, Alditha steered the broom around in a big lazy circle.
‘You have reached your destination,’ said the broom, automatically pointing its front end
towards the ground.
Alditha bent low over the broom and whispered to it. ‘And that’s quite enough out of you,’ she said, ‘or do we need to have the conversation again? You know, the one about firewood?’
The broom rose quickly again. It didn’t say another word.
They were heading towards Mill Bottom when Alditha gasped and yanked the broom suddenly sideways.
‘Whoah,’ said Harper. He’d stopped paying attention to where he was again, so the sideways lurch took him by surprise. ‘What the—?’
‘Sorry Harper. I’ve got to check something out.’
‘What? Where are- Oh nooo.’ He realized with a sickening lurch that they were heading towards Skoros Castle.
‘I’ve got to,’ Alditha said, urgency forming ice crystals on her words.
‘Got to go see the wizard? Well you can count me out, then. No way am I getting caught near that place.’
‘There’s something strange happening over there, look.’
‘I will not,’ said Harper, stubbornly closing his big owlish eyes. ‘Something strange,’ she says. ‘Surprise, surprise. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but it’s Skoros. Something Very Strange is what he does before breakfast. And breakfast is a big huge bowl of Strangeness. He has Weird for lunch, and Creepy for tea, with a few Despicable Evil bars in between.’
‘Yes, yes,’ said Alditha, clicking her tongue at him. ‘But this is really strange.’
‘Oh, as opposed to all the made-up strangeness I’m talking about, I suppose? Go on, say it, you think I’m just making things up, don’t you? Well I’m not staying here to be called a liar and turned into bat-food, Miss High and Mighty, Ooh Look At Me, I’m A Witch. You’re on your own.’
And Harper unhooked his talons from her shoulder and flew off, heading in the direction of the Green Man’s house.
Aliens In My Garden Page 4
