by Megan Kelly
“I think we need more stringent control.”
“You can’t expect the teachers in our district to safeguard each child.”
“We have to protect the kids from all dangers, internet or not.”
Progress had halted. No one wanted to come out and mention the allegations against Mike Reynolds, but they hung unvoiced in the room. The comments about ethics had become more pointed about fifteen minutes ago. If she chaired the committee, she’d have nipped this in the bud then. Cindy, however, reveled in the drama.
“I’m worried about the atmosphere in the district,” the divorcée, Julie, said. “I’ve heard of teachers not acting in a responsible manner.”
Her gaze darted to Ginger and away, making Ginger’s spine go rigid. Did Julie mean her?
“We’re aware of Coach Reynolds’s behavior,” Cindy said.
“We’re aware of the accusations against Coach Reynolds.” Ginger had had enough. She wasn’t about to let Cindy malign Mike. “He hasn’t been proven to have done anything wrong.”
“You’re right, Ms. Winchester,” Cindy said. “We’ve just got the word of twelve boys who all said he did.”
Ginger stared her down. “Have you personally heard them say this? Each of them? Telling the same story?”
Cindy’s jaw bulged as she clenched her teeth. “Until the investigation is over, it would be better not to discuss Coach Reynolds.”
“I agree.” Ginger attempted a we’re-on-the-same-side smile, but knew it fell flat. Even if it had appeared genuine—which she doubted—the recipient had to meet her halfway. Cindy did not.
“There are other teachers who display questionable practices,” Julie put in. “My friend told me—”
“I think we should leave those matters be,” Scott cut in. “We can’t act on hearsay or unproven accusations. As a matter of fact, we can’t act at all. Our job is to review the wording of this here agreement for the kids to do research on the school’s computers, going out on the internet.”
“I don’t want to gossip, either,” John agreed. “If that’s where the meeting is going, I’m going, too. Toward home. So, can we get to work?”
Scott’s eyes met hers. She read compassion and remorse there and gave him a brief lift of her lips in return. From now on, she couldn’t even risk a smile at a man, and certainly not her student’s father. And definitely not with Cindy’s flinty gaze boring their way every few seconds. Not to mention the parents in the room who were ripe for signs of scandal.
For a moment, Ginger wondered if Julie’s friend had told her anything regarding Ginger leaving the party with Scott in December. Plenty of people had attended; anyone could have seen them leave together. Or seen her leave the hotel later in the morning.
She swallowed down her fear. They’d been strangers. It had been a school break. Shelby’s enrollment wasn’t official until the beginning of the year. Ginger hadn’t shown her any preferential treatment in the past few weeks that Shelby had been in her class.
She hadn’t broken the morality clause, even in the past year. Bent it maybe, but that wild urge had passed.
No one had said anything yet, and surely word would have spread in whispers like brushfire if anyone knew.
Everything was fine.
Chapter Seven
“I’ve decided to quit using the adoption agency,” Ginger told Lisa in her bakery kitchen after work on Thursday. While Lisa mixed together pale blue icing for her cookies, Ginger worked up her nerve talking about inanities. She stole pinches off an unbaked sugar cookie cut into a snowflake until Lisa scooped it off the baking sheet and onto a plate for her. Grasping the edge of the counter steadied her. She hoped support of the emotional kind would come from her friend.
Lisa set down her mixing bowl and rounded the counter. She took hold of Ginger’s arms. “You can’t give up on adopting. Unless you think you can get pregnant? Did you meet someone who’s talked you into trying again?”
Ginger swallowed down her pain, even as the image of Scott appeared in her mind. If it was at all possible he’d accept her as she was, she’d take the chance on their relationship working. She’d take a chance on him.
But it wasn’t going to happen. She couldn’t conceive; she had to adopt. He already had a family. She hated to douse the light in Lisa’s eyes. “No, to all those questions. This isn’t about me having a baby.”
“Well, I won’t believe you can’t until you’ve been through more testing. Just because you couldn’t conceive with Kyle doesn’t mean you couldn’t with someone else.”
“We had it confirmed at the fertility clinic, Lisa.” It touched Ginger’s heart that her best friend rooted for her happiness so vehemently that she overlooked the facts. But miracles just didn’t happen in real life. “We talked to the doctors there. I’m done hoping.”
Lisa crossed her arms over her chest, her expression set. “Your rat-fink ex-husband convinced you it was your fault.”
“It wasn’t just him saying it.”
“I don’t recall Kyle getting intimate with a plastic cup. His sperm could be faulty. Probably is, since the rest of him certainly is lacking.”
Ginger smiled at the way Lisa spat her ex-husband’s name. “I’m not able to conceive a child. I’ve accepted that and moved on.”
“Then don’t give up on adopting. You’d be a great mom. Please reconsider.”
“I’m not giving up.” Ginger hugged her. Lisa smelled like powdered sugar and vanilla. “I’m through with the agency route, that’s all. They have these strict requirements I don’t seem able to meet.” She glanced at Lisa. “Do you think maybe someone found out I’d been, you know, seeing those guys since I got divorced?”
“All they have to do is talk to you for three minutes to figure out why you were doing that. I doubt it would count against you.”
Ginger frowned. “What do you mean ‘why I was doing it’?”
“You’d found out you couldn’t have a baby, then your husband walked out on you. It’s not surprising you’d be looking for reassurance from men.”
Ginger couldn’t believe it. There was a deep-seated reason? She thought she’d just been having a good time.
Lisa tilted her head, her eyes wide. “You knew this, right?”
Ginger opened her mouth, then closed it.
“You haven’t thought about why?”
“Because I like men?”
Lisa sighed. She reached over and retrieved an undecorated snowflake cookie for each of them. “And?”
Sugary sweetness crumbled in her mouth. Vanilla and almond melted against her tongue. “I give up. What kind of reassurance did I need?”
“The feminine kind. After Brad left me for Junior Miss Gum-smacker, I doubted myself. ‘Why wasn’t I enough?’ That kind of thing.”
“Which was stupid. It was his loss.”
“Absolutely. You had much more to deal with. So you sought out men to reestablish your appeal, rebuild your self-esteem. It’s like hitting menopause.”
Ginger laughed. “Whoa. Lost me.”
“Women tie so much of our identity to the ability to have children. At some point, we need to redefine what it means to us to be a woman. That’s what you did. Reassured yourself you were still desirable, if not for motherhood, then at least for sex.”
“Wow.” Ginger grinned, even as she acknowledged the truth of Lisa’s analysis. Her friend made it so clear. “All that was going on in my head?”
“Yes, as amazing as that seems. I figured you were on a binge, like an alcoholic, and you’d come to your senses eventually. And you did.”
“How come you know me so well?”
“I’m wise beyond my years. Now, go back to the adoption thing.”
Ginger set aside the other revelation to ponder later. “The time frame isn’t working for me. I can’t wait forever, or even until Evil Witch Lady retires. I can’t prove she’s blocking my application, but intuition says she is.”
Lisa sat on a stool at the counter. “Wh
at are you going to do?”
“Adopt privately. I’ve talked to my gynecologist and a family practice lawyer. You know Preston Fields, don’t you? I put the word out that I’m looking.” Ginger grimaced. “I don’t know how else to put it. ‘I’m in the market for a baby’ sounds like I’m buying one. I only want to create a win-win situation for someone who’s already decided she can’t raise a child.”
“Isn’t that risky? You won’t know the history of the mother.”
“After I talked to Dr. Elliot, his nurse pulled me aside and said they get many pregnant women coming in, unable or unwilling to keep their babies. Elliot has helped match up pregnant women with adoptive parents.” She blew out a breath. “I know it sounds like I’m taking advantage of them, but I’m going to give someone’s child a good home.”
“Of course you are. Anyone would be grateful to have you for their child’s mother. I’ve often considered giving you Abby and Bobby.”
Ginger laughed.
“Seriously, though,” Lisa said, “going through your doctor is a brilliant idea.”
“The Evil Witch at the adoption agency wouldn’t let anyone else work with me at all. She had papers and interviews and all these excuses. I just can’t wait any longer.”
“Why not?”
Ginger blinked, taken aback. Lisa had never been anything but supportive regarding her decision to adopt. “What do you mean?”
“Why the rush?”
Ginger hesitated. She feared her attraction to Scott. Every time they were together, she discovered some aspect of his personality that made her like him more—and desire him more. Even the way he’d cared for Horace made her melt a little inside. When his dog was sick, he hadn’t walked away, as Kyle had with her. Even though she tried not to compare the two men, Ginger couldn’t help but wonder about Scott’s reaction to her inability to conceive.
But she couldn’t have a casual relationship with him. She worried about further ruining her reputation; she needed to pass the pregnant mother’s approval. Something inside told her the time was near. Somewhere a woman was looking for someone like Ginger, full of love and yearning for a child to share her life with. She couldn’t miss this chance, even for Scott.
She’d gone a little crazy after the divorce. Too many men, too much fun, too many late nights and regretted mornings. She understood her reasons now. Did she have to be punished for the entire rest of her life? Denied the one thing that would make her happy, that would make her complete?
“The longer it takes,” she told Lisa, “the less likely I am to believe it’ll happen.”
“You’re doing the right thing. Forget the adoption agency witch. She had a bug up her hind end about you.”
Ginger chuckled. “I guess I’ll have to stop swearing once I get a baby, huh?”
“Damn right.” They laughed. “You’ll come to us if you need a character reference, right?”
“You’re first on my list.”
“Abby and Bobby will swear you’re the best babysitter ever.” Lisa patted her arm. “They even love it when you make them work at the animal shelter. To them, it’s the most fun they’ve ever had.”
Mention of the shelter brought memories of Scott, looking at the small dogs while his daughters fell in love with the biggest animal there. Even though they’d been at a pet store rather than the shelter itself, she had a feeling the man would always be tied to the shelter in her mind. “It’s an honor, helping animals, earning their trust when other humans have betrayed or abused them.”
Lisa grinned. “You’ve already got the skewed way of presenting things down-pat. You make my kids believe they’re getting a special treat when in fact you’re making them clean cages. They sure don’t volunteer to clean their own rooms.”
“They get to walk the dogs, too,” Ginger protested, feeling like a sweatshop manager. “Plus, petting an animal keeps them gentle and helps their little psyches.”
“Which little psyches?” Lisa asked as she rounded the counter to take out sheets of cookies from the oven and load in more. “The animals’ or my children’s?”
Warmth washed over Ginger, accompanied by the aroma of fresh baked sugar cookies. Her mouth watered. “Very funny.”
“Because if you know of something to keep my kids gentle, I’ll take a six-pack.”
“Your children are angels.”
“They’ve got you fooled. But, seriously, if we can do anything, let us know. Um, so…” Lisa concentrated on the coloring as she stirred icing with vigor. “I take it from your earlier comment you aren’t seeing anyone? What about that guy from the Christmas party?”
Ginger watched Lisa, who didn’t make eye contact. Sneaky. “What guy?”
Lisa’s head jerked toward her. “The one whose daughter is in your class.”
“Oh, him.”
Lisa scowled, obviously blind to Ginger’s sense of humor. This only made pulling her chain all the more fun. “Yes, him. How many guys did you meet at the Christmas party?”
“Well, I went to a lot of Christmas parties.”
The spoon clinked in the bowl as Lisa’s fists landed on her hips. “Really? And how many guys did you sleep with? A guy from every party?”
“Just the one. Jeez.” Pull a chain, get a reaction.
“Exactly. And how many guys have you slept with since Scott?”
“You remember his name now?”
“Answer the question.”
Ginger knew what the answer implied. She couldn’t deny it—Scott had made an impression. Honestly, he’d changed the way she looked at herself, at her opinion of herself since the divorce. Kyle’s desertion had been a blow. The reason for his leaving had devastated her.
Being with a man to forget that now seemed idiotic, but reasserting her femininity made sense. It had worked for a while. Until Scott.
“Well?”
“No one else.” The admission cost her. Ginger felt exposed and vulnerable. “But it doesn’t mean anything. I’m not starting a relationship with anybody older than one year.”
Lisa giggled. “Well, if you’re going to be that picky, never mind. What makes you think Scott wouldn’t welcome a baby?”
“He’s got his family. You should see the way he is with his daughters. They’re his entire life.”
“Have you talked about it?”
Ginger smirked. “We don’t exactly talk when we’re together. I spend the time trying to think of anything except having sex with him again.”
“Maybe you should stop trying so hard. You had a good time, right?”
“I’m done being a good-time girl.” If things were different, she’d like to have seen where things could go with Scott. But things were what they were. She was barren; he was devoted to his daughters and still in love with his wife.
“I’ve got an appointment with a prospective mom tomorrow after school.”
Lisa’s mouth dropped open before bursting into a grin. The stirring spoon coated with blue icing fell to the floor. “And you’re just now telling me?” She looked down. “Now look what you made me do. Tell me everything you know and I won’t make you clean up this mess.”
Ginger smiled. She could learn a lot about mothering by watching her friend.
SHELBY’S BIRTHDAY ARRIVED. His eldest turned eight. Even while he struggled to understand how so much time could have passed since first seeing her precious little face, Scott anticipated the school party with more eagerness than Shelby’s aging warranted. He yearned to see Ginger again. Not that he wouldn’t be thrilled and proud to celebrate his daughter’s birthday with her at school. This year would be especially hard on Shelby without her mother to bake a cake and take care of all the little details. It was just a bonus for him that the woman who featured in his erotic daydreams would be there, also.
It had been two days since the technology meeting talks had hit a wall. Tension walked between him and Ginger, and he didn’t like it. While he understood her need to protect her reputation, he just didn’t under
stand why their dating would be such a big deal.
Scott signed in at the main office, juggling the tower of cupcakes Shelby had requested. After balancing his way down the hall, he knocked his heel against Ginger’s classroom door, hoping someone would assist him. The door opened, and Shelby stuck out her head.
“Hi, Dad.” She swung the door wider, letting out the noise of cheering as the kids saw him. Or, more probably, as they spotted the cupcakes.
A small bell tinkled and the kids subsided into their chairs, their voices cut off. He looked over to see Ginger setting the bell on her desk.
Today’s pale pink top made her look soft and approachable. Gray slacks hugged her legs. She’d pulled her hair into a bun of some sort, but loose hair framed her face and softened the severity of the style.
“Thank you,” she said to the class. “Shelby, you can help your father set up, then we’ll sing. The rest of you get out your cards for Shelby.”
Ginger crossed to him. “Can I help you with anything?”
He spared her a wink on the side turned away from the class. “No, thanks. Shelby has it all under control.”
The children sang. Shelby picked Jean to collect their cards as Shelby handed them a cupcake and Maria gave each a napkin. The kids had made the cards in class. Maria’s card had twisted black paper held down by a ton of glue. “It’s your new dog.”
Shelby scrunched her nose. “This doesn’t look like Horace.”
Maria’s face fell. Scott snapped his mouth closed, not wanting to reprimand her in front of her classmates.
She placed her hand on Maria’s arm. “You’ll have to come over and meet him. He’s got big brown eyes. See?” She pointed to where Maria had glued blue paper over the end that must be the dog’s face. “Will you ask your mom when you can come?”
Maria brightened and nodded. He’d say something to his daughter later about the phrasing of her invitations, but she’d saved her friend’s feelings and made her feel special.
Jean pushed her card forward. “Read mine. I wrote a poem, so mine’s better.”
