by Erin Havoc
But as I think to myself that men don’t like women who complain, Dorian grips my fingers, tilting his lips.
“It must have been tough. My family raised me full of love, so I can’t tell you I relate. But I want to hear everything about it.” He nods once. “Let’s do it. Let’s trash-talk your parents if you feel like so.”
Laughter bursts from me and I tilt my head back, the sound shaking me from my very core. And Dorian doesn’t stop there. He listens to me going on about my parents, then he trash-talks the tourists leaving garbage on his trails, and my cheeks hurt with how much I laugh.
His smile makes me swoon, that’s a fact. I’m ogling his handsome features when a shadow creeps up closer.
“Ready to order?” The waiter asks, his voice not expressionless, but with a hint of annoyance.
Dorian scowls at him. “Don’t hurry it up, friend. We’ll order when we’re ready.”
The waiter curls his nose. “You’ve been here for over twenty minutes and haven’t even asked for wine, sir. Besides being wildly under-dressed,” he shoots me a glance, “this is unacceptable. We’re not desperate for clients, you see?”
A blush explodes across my face and I want to crawl beneath the table. God, have we been here for twenty minutes already?
Not strange since I’d watch his handsome face for hours on end. But did the waiter have to point it out? And with such lack of civility? The way he looked at me is the precise reason I hate doing this.
Dorian’s fingers tighten around mine and before I notice it, he’s pulling me up. A strong arm comes around my shoulders as he towers over the waiter. “Then we’re leaving for somewhere else. Who the hell do you think you are to treat her like this?” He glowers with such fierceness in the waiter’s direction I watch the man shrink a little. “You have me in a good mood, fellow, or we’d have a serious problem,” his voice drops to a snarl and my back stiffens. Are these sounds coming from him? No doubt he’s a bear. “Do you mind, baby girl?”
The way he asks it is so sweet, so gentle it makes me turn to putty. My legs tremble a little. I shake my head. “Let’s go somewhere else.”
“Fantastic,” he growls to the waiter’s face as we stride to the stairs.
Dorian keeps his arm around me all the time as we climb down to the first floor. He holds me up steadily, a rock, firm, and solid as I take careful steps in my heels. My body’s still shaken by the possessiveness in his voice when we exit the restaurant. Dorian twirls me so I face him.
“Bella. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
I nod. “Honestly, they kind of lost me when they said they didn’t have whiskey.”
He laughs, and it’s more of a roar than anything else. Something dances along his pupils as he looks down at me, his hands on my arms. “I have whiskey at my place. And steak and vegetables. It might take longer than a restaurant, but I can cook for you.”
Going to a man’s place on the first date?
It would be a definite “no” if it was anyone else. But Dorian makes me feel so safe I can’t come up with a single reason not to. The way he keeps saying I’m his mate, the way I can read his face like an open book. He makes me want to do different, dangerous things. He makes me want to risk everything because he’s with me. And I know he’ll keep me safe.
Mate. Am I really going to do this?
Gathering my courage, my will to give it a chance, I nod. “I love this idea. Should we take a cab?”
He opens a large smile. “I’ve come with my car. We’ll drive up there, and you can tell me all there is to know about you.” Dorian slides a hand into mine, his fingers eating mine up. “I want to know it all. Tell me again, what do you do for a living?”
And I do. I open my mouth and pour my heart out at this man. He pays rapt attention to every word I say, shooting me admired glances at minor details.
My heart swells. Mate. It might just be what I need.
6
DORIAN
She is here. With me.
My mate.
My bear paces inside me, and hell, I thought letting him run free before dinner would help, but I don’t think it changed a thing. Her proximity makes him frantic, and he claws inside me, demanding his freedom.
Yeah, because that would win her over.
But he doesn’t care. My bear, though usually controlled, is not that rational. Especially not when it comes to mates. Some of my friends have already found their matches, and I’ve heard the same thing from every shifter species.
Finding a mate is life-changing. You think you’re controlled, you think you don’t mind the loneliness all that much. It all turns upside down when you find that one person that you’re meant to be with.
My instincts kick in, and I want to curl my arms around her, kiss her, taste her. I need to feel every inch of her curves against my body. Need to mark her as mine. I can’t bear the idea of any other male seeing her, thinking of her as a prospect.
She’s mine and I’m hers. It’s possessive, raw, and it’s nature. From the moment I was born, I have been walking to this moment, right here.
Bella’s a little guarded, and I can’t blame her. I’m much older and bigger. She’s a doll, smooth and curvy and delicate. So small. I want to pull her up to my lap while I drive us home.
To our home. The place we’ll live together, make love to one another, raise our cubs.
My heart swells inside my chest, and hell, I want this woman more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. And though she had seemed cautious, she’s open now. I know she feels how easy it is for us to be around one another. Bella tells me everything — about her family and friends, her insecurities, how her job works, and how she’s being paid to give the app a run.
It drives me unsure at first. Is she doing this because she wants to or is she feeling forced by her job? But then, she slides glances at me, and her lips curl in the prettiest way and I just want to clash my mouth to hers. She is comfortable, and she feels like home.
Driving into the private area of the National Park — the territory my clan brothers and I share near the border of the woods — , I pass a series of cabins, SUVs parked up front. Mine is one of the last ones, and I’m one of the few without a mate.
This has just changed. I’m bringing her home.
“This place looks great,” Bella says as she slides down the seat. I stride to her, reaching her in time to help her down. The ground isn’t heel-proof, with the gravel and grass, and I hold her close as we cross the porch of my cabin.
“You think?” Satisfaction and relief clash into me. I haven’t even noticed I’ve been nervous about her seeing my place. “I’m glad you like it. It’s near the woods, so it’s practical for us shifters to live around.”
Her brows cock up as we approach the entrance. “Is this like a shifter-friendly neighborhood?”
I cackle as I unlock the door. “Every neighborhood is technically shifter-friendly since we keep it to ourselves. But this part of the city is shifter-only. Well, shifters and their families, for that matter.”
She slides a glance to the cabin next-door, two cars parked by the entrance. “So humans and shifters living together, openly? Sounds like utopia.”
I smile, motioning for her to enter my place. “We’re a tight community. I can introduce you to the others this weekend. We’re mainly bears here, though there are a couple of strays.”
Bella walks inside, her beautiful green eyes wide as she takes the place in. I’ve tidied it up, in case she decided to come. It’s a typical cabin in the woods, and the logs have been selected and cut down by my clan when we decided to settle. But even if it looks rugged, it truly isn’t.
I want my comfort, and I certainly can’t deny it to my woman. So I have regular plumbing, internet, and TV. The usual appliances. Everything is slick and in dark wood, and I was careful to choose furniture that fits both the decoration and that care for nature. My shifter abilities have come from the woods and the woods I must protect to the end.
She’s perfection. And she’s mine. I’m the luckiest man in the world.
“Wow, Dorian. You have a lovely place.” She whirls to face me, her smile widening, her eyes bright. Have I mentioned her breasts? They were made to make men crawl, to be worshiped. And she bears herself as if she didn’t know she’s a goddess incarnate. “I’m impressed with your decoration.”
I brush a hand along my nape. “Honestly, I’m relieved you like it.”
“Relieved?” She chuckles. “That’s an interesting choice of word.”
“I’ve built this place and decorated it with you in mind. Even before I met you. All I knew was that I wanted to make my mate happy with it.”
She presses her lips together, a pretty pink color flashing across her cheeks. “It’s so odd. Hearing you say this. And yet…”
I walk to her, trying to read every tiny expression crossing her face. “Yet?” My hands come up her arms as if our skins are magnetically connected. And I feel we are. It’s painful to stand apart from her now that she’s this close.
“Yet I believe it,” her voice leaves her in a hush, barely a breath. Her skin crawls beneath my fingers and I rub my hands up and down her smooth arms, feeling every bump of her raised hair. “I believe your words somehow. It’s like… It’s like I’ve always known them. And you’re just making me remember it.”
I nod, leaning so my forehead presses to hers. Her breath caresses my mouth and I open mine to taste it. It’s an unbelievable pleasure to be around her, to be so close to her, and yet my bear wrestles me for control, roars at me to take her.
Take her take her take her, he growls at me.
Mark her. Claim her.
Mate mate mate
I frown, focusing my attention on her beautiful face. On her expressive, gorgeous features that have been all I’ve dreamed about my entire life. “We’ve been made to one another, Bella. And I don’t want to press, I don’t want to force you. I promise, scaring you away is the last thing I want right now. But it’s undeniable we’ve been made for this. I’ve been waiting for you, and I’m so profoundly happy you’re finally in my life I could yell it for the world to listen.”
She breaks into a luminous smile. “There surely are other ways for you to show some affection.”
I laugh, adoring the way her hands fit my hips as she folds herself closer. My hardened member brushes along her lower belly and I stand stiffly, my feet planted on the ground, my body parted from hers. Surely if I touch her the way I want it, my bear will explode inside me. Too much pent-up desire. Long years waiting for this.
“There are,” I tell her, bringing a hand up to feel her bottom lip against my thumb. “But I don’t think I can quite resist the urge of screaming at the world that you’re my mate. That I’ve found you. The most precious person in existence.”
She quivers beneath my touch, her eyelids fluttering. It’s a heavenly sight, and I picture her on her back, spread, and making this glorious face as I bring her up to the peak of her pleasure. “Dorian,” she murmurs, and my name on her tongue is earth-shattering.
My bear wrestles with me, so close to the surface. I bare my teeth and roar, letting the ones around know that I’ve found her and she’s mine.
Bella jumps, but she doesn’t back away. Instead, she looks up at me with wide, lust-glazed orbs.
It’s the last shred. I pull her flush against my chest and press our mouths together. Her gasp is lost against my face, her legs trembling and her arms slinging around my neck, seeking balance.
Hugging her waist, I bring her up to the top of her toes and hold her in place. I’ll be her support, her rock, her safe haven. I’ll be her everything for the rest of our days. Sliding my lips against hers, I groan in pleasure to the feel of her against me. Every inch our bodies touch sends jolts down my flesh to my balls, and my body readies itself for the mating.
Her curves fit my sharp angles perfectly. I take a handful of her smooth hair and rope the strands around my knuckles. Bella opens her mouth and I dip my tongue in.
Her flavor explodes in my taste buds and the sound of delight rumbles in my chest. My member pulses against her body, her breasts pressing against me, and I’m hyper-aware of every place we touch. Bella’s tongue meets mine, shyly at first, and I dive deep into the kiss.
She’s intoxicating. I can’t imagine myself doing anything other than tasting her for the rest of my life. Our tongues meet and clash, the kiss quickly growing fierce. Bella doesn’t seem fazed or shy. She opens up for me. She reveals, exposes herself.
And I love it. I love the way her hair feels in my fingers, the sounds she makes, the way she smells. Fuck, she smells fantastic, mouth-watering. Mixed with the scent of her flesh and her perfume, I begin to smell something else entirely.
Her arousal. I know that’s it, and it makes my bear mad for release. He claws harder inside me, and I keep him at bay, holding my breath to avoid smelling her like so. Even if the only thing I wish for is to throw her on my bed, rip her dress, and bury my face between her legs.
God, how she must taste there.
But I’m supposed to keep her, and we’ll have all the time in the world. Slowing down, I break the kiss and press my forehead against hers. Bella opens glazed eyes and stares at me with a question on her face.
“Did you feel it?” I ask her, and I know she’ll get me.
I mean the connection. The heat. It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt. The intensity is different from kissing anyone else. Every place our bodies meet has an electrical current shooting between us. Like the two of us are connected at an atomic level.
Bella nods, bringing a hand up to touch her lips. “Yeah… I mean… Wow…”
Her words tumble out of her mouth and I smile, curling my arms around her. I kiss the top of her head, and Bella nuzzles into my chest, hugging me close. She feels now what she does to my body — my erection is rock-hard, pressed against her. But Bella doesn’t back away. She just stays there, in my arms. Where she belongs.
“What else does the mate thing entails?” She cocks her head to meet my eyes, propping her chin on my chest. “Because, you know… I’ve never been kissed like this. For a moment, I thought my head was going to explode.”
Laughter bubbles up from me. “I know, right? My bear has been going crazy inside me.”
“Why?” She presses a hand to my chest as if she could feel him inside me. “Is he mad?”
“He is. He can’t wait to have you.”
Her throat bobbles as she swallows. “Have me?”
I brush my lips across her cheeks and kiss her nose and her eyelids. “Up to the moment I mate you, we’re still parted. But it’s okay, it doesn’t have to be now. Whenever you’re ready.”
My bear huffs in indignation inside me. But Bella is not a fling. She’s not even a date. She’s my forever and I have to make it right. Having sex with her is going to be mind-blowing, but the mating bond only clicks in place once I bite her. Once I put my mark on her.
Bella’s cheeks bloom with color as she pulls her lips to a side-smile. “If we become mates… What happens then?”
“We stick together. You’re mine and I’m yours.” Stamping my lips down on hers, I inhale her scent in. Her fingers curl around my hips, gripping tight. “You make me the happiest man alive.”
Something crosses her face, something I don’t like. It’s very akin to doubt. To uncertainty. Even if Bella has felt our connection, she’s still skeptical about what this all means. I can’t blame her, the entire shifter lifestyle is very new to society as a whole.
But I’m afraid that’s not only it. I’m afraid she thinks I’m keeping something from her. As if I’d take advantage
of this for some reason.
My fingers itch and curl. Is that because someone made her feel unsure about herself? She’s said things in our chat that made me believe she’s less than certain about herself, about her amazing body and brains. I wish I could make her see herself the way I do. I wish I could find whoever hurt her or convinced her she’s not worth it, she’s not beautiful, and kick their teeth in. Then drag them here so they could apologize for ever making her feel less than perfect.
Because that’s what she is. Perfection oozes from every cell of her body, and I want to adore her. It’s the single intention and goal of my life.
Bella smiles shyly at me, and I’m afraid I’ve lost her interest. “So, we were going to have dinner.”
I laugh, slapping a hand to my forehead. “I’m so sorry. You got me distracted with your fantastic lips I’d spend my day kissing.”
She presses said lips together and backs away. I immediately miss her heat, her presence against me. “How can I help you with dinner?”
Taking her hand, I walk into the kitchen so we can cook together. She finds a Moby Dick copy I’ve been reading and we start a long debate on classics as we sip from whiskey. And I know she’s unsure, teetering on the edge of giving herself to me. So I have to respect her and give her space and time to accept us.
Even if it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
7
BELLA
So I slept with Dorian.
No, not like that. Not sex. We just slept. Literally. In the same place.
His kiss felt hesitant at first. As if he thought I was a sliver of his imagination. But then, he was kissing me until my body melted against his and I thought he’d take me to bed and feast on me before we had dinner. And I wanted that. God, I had never felt so wet in my entire life, so ready. Even if I’m a virgin, I know it would have gone smoothly just from how aroused I was.
From a kiss. How is that even possible?
But then, that whole mate thing… I don’t know. A man like him, all big chunky muscles and gentle eyes and — Jesus Christ, that anaconda inside his pants!
