“Yes, you should have.”
He was silent for several minutes. “I don’t want you to ever think you can’t come to me if you need something, Skylar. It was a mistake for me to go to your parents. I should have trusted you and waited to see how things progressed.”
“And what if he broke my heart, Colin? What then?”
His jaw twitched. “You know we’re a protective bunch.”
She shook her head. “You know, I see other girls with normal families and I often wonder what that’s like.”
“I hear it’s boring.”
She scoffed. “Again, I wonder what that’s like.”
He turned to her. “I’m really sorry, Sky. I hate feeling this distance between us.”
“That’s the thing.” He lips pursed and her brow pinched. “This past week has been really awful. I needed a friend and I couldn’t come to you.”
“You can always come to me.”
“Not if I can’t trust you.”
He drew in a long breath. “I want your trust.”
“Trust is a two-way street. I can only trust you if you trust me. That means you have faith in my ability to make my own decisions and know I’ll ask for help when I need it.”
“Deal.” They returned to leaning their elbows on the railing and staring out at the sea of clustered vehicles. “Are we okay?”
“Yeah. But next time—”
“No next time,” he interrupted. “I promise that anything you tell me from now on will be kept in confidence.” Her gaze shifted to a car approaching in the distance, the wheels slowly crunching over the snow.
Her heart lifted at the sight of the familiar, black Escalade pulling up the driveway.
“Is that him?”
What was he doing there? “I thought he was smarter than this.”
“He realizes your whole family’s here, right?”
“He’s driving right into the belly of the beast.” They were going to eat him alive.
Uncle Colin patted her back. “Good luck.” He returned to the house.
She walked down the steps and waited as Rhett parked at the end of the long line of cars and trucks. He helped Addison out of her seat and set her on the snowy ground.
“Skylar!” She raced toward her, catapulted off the ground and into Skylar’s arms. “Look what Santa brought me!”
She stared at what should be a chinchilla and frowned. This was why people should never shop online from the dark market of the internet. The toy was half the size as advertised, not computerized, and definitely more of a red than a yellow. She glanced at Rhett and he shrugged.
“It’s beautiful. What’s its name?”
“Her name’s Marigold, like the flower.”
“Why don’t you go show her to Michael and the other kids? They’re all inside.” Skylar set her down.
“Okay!” Addison raced into the house and Rhett closed the distance between them.
“Merry Christmas.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“Merry Christmas.” She shifted her weight. “So, is that the one I ordered?”
He laughed then paused. “Wait, you ordered it?”
“Yeah. I swear all the stats claimed it was authentic. You didn’t know I… Ah, Erin told you she did all the shopping.”
He frowned. “Why would she lie?”
“I think we need to have a long talk about your assistant, but let’s save it for another day.” She definitely didn’t feel like discussing Erin on Christmas. “Did Addy like all her other gifts?”
“Yes, but I think that red mouse thing is her favorite. To her, it’s as good as a real chinchilla.”
Skylar smiled, loving that Addison was such an easy child. “She’s a sweet girl.”
He nodded. “How’s your Christmas going?”
“Okay. It’s a little nutty but that’s normal. How about you?”
He shrugged. “This is it. We did the presents, and now we’re just waiting for it to end.”
“God, you make it sound so bleak.”
“I don’t really get all the hype. We didn’t do holidays when I was young.”
She considered what her grandmother had said about some people not being shown much love and, therefore, never learning how to show it. Rising on her toes, she brushed a kiss over his lips.
He blinked in surprise. “What was that for?”
“For Christmas. I wanted to give you something special.” She smiled. “That’s only half of it, though.”
“When do I get the other half?”
“Now, come here.” She crooked a finger and he leaned down. She angled her mouth close to his ear and whispered, “I love you, Rhett Buchanan.”
He drew back and stared at her, a look of shock in his eyes.
“You don’t have to say it back. I don’t need anything in return. I just wanted to tell you that.”
His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but he frowned and glanced away. His hand rubbed over his chest and the crease in his brow deepened.
“Is it supposed to hurt?”
“What? No.” She laughed, nervously.
It was the first time she’d said those words to someone not related to her. She didn’t do it to hurt him.
He continued to rub his chest. “Then why does it hurt here?”
She didn’t have a clue but now felt a little foolish. “I’m sorry?”
His frown carved deeper as he paced, still rubbing his chest. “There’s this weight… Like something’s sitting on my chest… I feel like I can’t breathe.”
Real concern raced through her. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”
“I don’t know. It’s crushing me.”
“Oh, my God. Hold on. I’ll get my cousin. He’s a doctor.” She raced into the house and yelled, “Patrick, come quick!”
Her cousin, Pat, followed her out to the front yard, where Rhett was doubled over with his hands braced on his knees. Of course, her entire family followed.
“What’s going on?”
“Who’s that man?”
“Should someone call 9-1-1?”
Addison raced forward. “Daddy?”
Pat held up a hand and approached Rhett. “Everyone just give him some space.” He calmly took his pulse and asked several questions. Then he suggested he take a seat on the steps.
A hoard of McCulloughs and in-laws gathered on the porch, nosily waiting for Pat’s verdict.
Skylar worried her hands and Addison came to her side. “What’s wrong with Daddy?”
“I’m sure he’s fine. Patrick’s a doctor. He’s just checking him out.”
Despite the reassurance in her voice, Skylar felt anything but comforted, so she pulled Addison into her harms for support.
Pat removed a doctor’s bag from his car and instructed Rhett to open his coat and shirt. Then he started attaching wires to Rhett’s chest that plugged directly into his phone.
“What is that?” Skylar asked, worried.
“A mobile EKG that reads through an app on my phone.” He looked at the screen. “Try to relax, Rhett.”
A few minutes later, Pat disconnected the wires and put his phone away. “Your heart rhythm appears normal and your vitals seem fine. No elevated blood pressure and your chest sounds good. I think you’re safe,” Pat finally said. “Chances are you just had a mild panic attack.”
The family slowly disbursed, and Aunt Sammy took Addison back inside with Michael. Skylar listened as Pat explained the differences between an actual heart attack and a panic attack.
Rhett appeared instantly relieved and Skylar felt the same. “Thank you, Patrick.”
“Any time. Call me if any symptoms return.” Pat handed him a business card and packed up his bag.
Once they were alone again, she looked at Rhett. “Well, that’ll make a girl think twice about her words. First time I tell a man I love him, it nearly kills him. Just one more tick in the old self-esteem column.”
Still sitting on the step, he looked up a
t her with his collar open and laughed. “It’s not you—believe me.”
“Then why do you think you reacted like that?”
He glanced away and the energy around him chilled. “No one’s ever said those words to me before.”
Startled by his confession, she said, “That can’t be true.”
“Unfortunately, it is. I didn’t grow up with a family, Skylar. It’s always just been me watching other families. So, when you ask why I have a hard time expressing myself, it’s because I’ve never had to. Those words aren’t easy for me. I’ve never heard them and I’ve never said them.” He held her stare. “But I feel them.”
She sat beside him on the step. “You do?”
“Yes. First time I held Addison, I knew it could only be love. And then you came along, and I felt something similar, but different. It’s…hotter and sharper.”
She smiled. “Passionate.”
“Yes.”
Hooking her arm around his, she rested her head on his shoulder and let his nearness soothe her. “Rhett, I can’t come back to work for you.”
He drew back so he could see her. “Why?”
“Because I’m opening my own preschool after the New Year. I think you should enroll Addison.”
“Here in Jasper Falls?”
“Of course. Where else would I go? I’m in love with the mayor.”
He laughed. “I like how that sounds. Love.”
She grinned up at him. “I love you.”
He held her stare and nervousness danced in his eyes. “I love you, too, Skylar. I’m sorry it took me some time to put a name to it, but now that I have, there’s no denying the feelings in my heart. I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime to find you. You’re so special to me, I was terrified I’d do or say the wrong thing and lose you. I almost did.”
“I don’t have all the answers, Rhett. I think it’s normal to be nervous when you feel so much for someone. It shows how much we care.”
He pressed a kiss to her hair and smiled. “I like saying it. I love you.”
He had no idea how much she loved hearing those words. “Over the past week I’ve done a lot of thinking. As much as I appreciate the words of affirmation, I realized you show your love in other ways, too, and that’s okay.” Her lips brushed his. “I’ve missed you.”
“Ditto.”
She pressed her lips to his and kissed him slowly. The tattered edges of her heart seemed to sew back together. “Merry Christmas.”
He cleared his throat and something uncertain flashed in his eyes. “I’m still learning how all this Christmas stuff works. I might have bought you something a little extreme for Christmas.”
“I hope it’s a dejected chinchilla from China.”
“Close. It’s a diamond.”
Her head drew back and legs went numb. “No, you didn’t.”
He reached into his jacket and removed a small velvet box. “Is now a good time to discuss your plans for the New Year?”
That was not the box of a necklace. “Rhett…”
“I know it’s fast. And I literally bought it knowing that you would likely say no. But I need to explain something to you, Skylar.”
She felt like she needed to sit down but she was already sitting. “Okay.”
His gaze shot to the side as he seemed to gather his words. “I love this town. I’ve always had a thing for small town charm. Everyone’s been very welcoming of us and they never made me feel like an outcast of any sort—until the night of the gala.”
“Why would they treat you like an outcast?”
His lips pressed into a thin line. “Because that’s what I’ve always been.” He took her hands, and she realized how much this confession cost him as his fingers tremored in her grip. “I didn’t have a father growing up, and my mom saw me as more of a burden than a son.”
Her heart suddenly felt bruised. “I had no idea.”
A sad smile curved his mouth but quickly disappeared. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”
She never saw him so vulnerable and open. “We don’t have to talk about your childhood if it upsets you. It’s Christmas. We can just enjoy the holiday and discuss this stuff another time.”
“I spent a week without you, and that was too long. I don’t want to wait to tell you the truth about who I am.”
“Okay.”
He drew in a steady breath. “My mom died of a drug overdose when I was ten. She was never nice to me, but it devastated me. She was still my mother and all I knew. I cried for days, unsure what my life would become. Eventually, the state took custody of me, and I went into the system.”
She hadn’t known or suspected any of this. “You’re so…together now. They must have put you with a good family.”
The bleak look in his eyes told her she was wrong. “They put me with a dozen families, none of them kept in touch through the years.”
“Oh, Rhett, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“It’s okay. I worked for a while, landed some good jobs and got my life together—actually saved some money. Then I met Addison’s mom.”
Her mind returned to the day she’d snooped in his bedroom and spied the ledger on his desk with all the medical expenses recorded. She prepared for a complication, certain the woman who gave birth to Addison was still alive.
“Adel is a good person with a troubled heart. She has a lot of mental health issues, and like my mother, she’s an addict.”
Understanding dawned. “That’s where you were this week.”
He nodded. “I take care of her for Addison’s sake, but also because I can afford to. My daughter is my whole word. She gives me a purpose, and I never want her to feel the emptiness I felt growing up. I know Adel will never be a normal mom, but it’s important for me to make sure Addison never feels abandoned.”
“Of course.”
“She sends her cards on birthdays and holidays, and when Addy’s old enough she’ll realize who Adel is to her but, for now, we’ve agreed that distance is best.”
“Does she fight you for custody?”
“Not when she’s sober. And when she’s not… No judge would even hear her out in that condition.”
“And you’ve been dealing with this on your own, keeping it to yourself all these years?”
“My staff knows, because I occasionally have to leave town to deal with problems when Adel has a bad episode, like this week. But they understand my personal life isn’t open for discussion.”
She considered what Erin said about Skylar assuming she was the only woman in his life. “Are you and Adel still… Do you ever…?”
“Are we intimate? No.” He looked her in the eye and the confidence she was used to finding in his stare returned. “Skylar, I’ve been with others, but it’s never compared to what I experienced with you.”
“Really?”
He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips. “I know you don’t have a lot to compare it to, but what we shared… It was life changing.”
Her finger brushed over the satin box and his gaze followed the motion. “This is a big deal, Rhett. Marriage is a lifetime commitment in my family.”
“Remember how I told you I was greedy?”
She smirked. “Yes.”
“Well, this week gave me a lot of time to think. I want you, Skylar. Not just as my daughter’s nanny or as a lover in my bed, I want you in my life—every day. At first, I wasn’t sure what this obsession was. I’d never felt anything like it before. The only thing close to comparing to the feelings I have for you is the devotion and affection I hold for Addy. I…love my daughter, but I’m duty bound to do right by her.”
“Call it whatever you want, Rhett, but you’re a good father because you’re a good man. Duty has very little to do with how well you treat her.”
“But it’s how I managed to figure out fatherhood having never had a father of my own.”
She could understand that.
“Skylar, I’m more than obsessed with you. I’m add
icted to your presence. When you’re around, I feel centered and balanced. I hang on your every word and find you one of the most captivating women I’ve ever met. And then I see the way you are with my daughter and my heart actually aches, physically hurts because it’s never known such contentment. You make me feel full and right. And when you’re not there…I feel empty. I don’t want to spend another day without you.”
She exhaled, utterly speechless. No one had ever said such sweet words to her. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. But please don’t tell me no. At least think on it. I can wait as long as it takes. Wear the ring or don’t. I’ve waited a lifetime to find you, I can wait another to make you fully mine. But I can’t walk away from us.”
Was it crazy that she was actually considering telling him yes? Like, without a doubt in her heart, fully invested, do a cartwheel in the front yard, plan the big wedding and go for the happily-ever-after storybook life in the cute little town with all of her crazy relatives buried deep in their business, yes?
“You do know I come with a hundred crazy Irish relatives and a bunch of Italian nut jobs. I mean, my grandfather’s basically your nemesis.”
He smiled. “Vincenzo and I have recently come to an understanding.”
She frowned. “How?”
“Let’s just say I lobbied for his vote and pulled a few strings.”
She thought of what he could have possibly used for leverage. “The parking space?”
He laughed and quickly explained, “Your grandfather’s a very intimidating man, and I’d already been beaten up once this week!”
“Well, it’s good to know what I’m worth.”
He nudged her with his shoulder and teased. “It’s on Main Street.”
She nestled close to him, stealing a bit of his body warmth. “Can I see the ring?”
His eyes turned serious and he studied her for a long moment. It was her last chance to think without partiality or foolish romantical whims influencing her decision.
Did she want to marry Rhett?
She loved him and didn’t want to spend another day without him. No one had ever made her feel the things he made her feel. Could it really be this simple?
He lowered to one knee and popped open the lid, revealing a stunning princess cut diamond ring. Oh yeah, it was that simple.
Pining For You: Jasper Falls Page 24
