by Ruth Rosen
When the boat reached open water it began to bob higher then lower with each new wave. It’s a good thing I brought this, Moishe thought miserably, as he opened a wadded up plastic bag he’d brought “in case.” He bent his head over it, but the bag remained mockingly empty. Moishe lifted his head for a moment. “Well, I guess the anti-nausea pills are doing half their job,” he told Ceil, in a feeble attempt at humor. She stroked his head as he bent over the bag once again, hoping her touch might comfort him. At 65 he showed no signs of balding, though his medium brown hair was well on its way to silver.
Thankfully, it was only an hour-long ride and when the boat docked, the bag was still empty. Asher helped his zayda stand up and stagger back onto terra firma. Moishe, still feeling ill, leaned on his grandson as he made his way back to the hotel with the rest of his family. The two blocks seemed like two miles.
Everyone except Moishe was hungry for lunch. “I may never eat again,” he groaned, as he headed for bed.
At Ceil’s suggestion, she and the others piled onto a bus and headed for a nearby shopping mall. “There’s a really good take-out restaurant there. They serve authentic Hawaiian dishes.”
When they arrived at the mall, she knew just what she wanted to order. “But I better call Dad first, to see how he’s doing,” she said. “There’s a Jewish deli over there—I can bring back some nice clear chicken broth if he thinks he can handle it.”
She soon had him on the line. “So, how are you feeling?”
“A lot better. By the time you get back with the food, I’ll be ready to eat something.”
“You want some chicken soup? Maybe a matzo ball if it isn’t too greasy?” Ceil offered.
“Nah, chicken soup is for sick people.” Moishe was sounding much more himself. “You’re at the Hawaiian place, aren’t you? How about some lau-laus? And get some rice, some lomi salmon . . .”
Ceil smiled, much relieved. He was back to his usual self.
Vacation or no, Moishe preached at a supporting church during that trip and took the family to meet one of his donors, who prepared a memorable meal of homemade sushi. Ceil was happy to participate in those activities; she had previously met and enjoyed the people Moishe wanted to see. But he also rose early each morning to write thank-you postcards to ministry supporters. Plus he spent time each day on his laptop computer, checking his e-mail. Ceil sighed, sometimes in irritation and sometimes in resignation to the fact that her husband would never, ever completely set aside his work.
The fact was, Moishe felt a personal interest and warmth toward those he thanked, and he enjoyed expressing his appreciation. Moreover he had a deep need to remain connected to the ministry he’d founded. He was still on staff, still a member of the board of directors, but he often felt disconnected and depressed now that he was no longer part of the hub of the director’s office.
One of the most extraordinary things about Moishe was his willingness to give up leadership of the ministry he loved so well without any apparent pressure or even any apparent reason. The board had appointed him to his position for life. Considering that it was his life’s work, and that his identity was so integrally entwined with leading Jews for Jesus, the general expectation was that the founding executive director would remain as chief until a crisis in health or a decline in mental acuity rendered him unable to continue.
Moishe, however, knew that God had told him it was time. It never occurred to him to ignore what he considered a clear directive from the Chief of All Things. It was an act of obedience.
It is true that Moishe had begun to feel that it would be better to have a leader with more energy than he had—but his health had actually improved by 1996. It is also true that he felt he was getting bogged down in administrative details. Although that concern played a part in the timing, it was not what motivated him. As he saw it,
Once I believed God had told me I would be stepping down, I waited for the confirmation that was to tell me when. And I felt that the confirmation came in the fact that I could not get done certain things that an executive director should be able to get done if he was in charge of the organization. Ordinary things, like getting a sprinkler system installed in one of our buildings—I seemed to be hitting a stone wall.
I was also concerned that we were not recruiting new missionaries. But none of these negatives had me stepping down. I didn’t feel incompetent to lead, and I don’t feel incompetent today. It was just a belief that that’s what God wanted.
When it came to the nomination of his successor, Moishe had never said a word to indicate a preference. He often expressed satisfaction that several people in the organization would be competent to take over his position. And he had always encouraged the senior leaders to aspire to it. He’d told them frankly, “You ought to want my job.” He wanted the next executive director to love the work as much as he did.
When in 1995 Moishe formally announced at a council meeting his intent to step down in 1996, the staff took very seriously the mandate to prayerfully select his successor. There was something so right about knowing that the next executive director for this group of strong-willed leaders was going to be ushered in by a unanimous vote of the council.
At the last council meeting where Moishe would preside as executive director, everyone present was struck with the reality that in mere months, the group would be discussing and voting on Moishe’s successor. Moishe had outlined basic intentions about his future role: he intended to build a platform for the next executive director, to affirm and introduce that person through the ministry’s publications and perhaps through key churches. He wanted to serve the next executive director in an advisory capacity. He also talked about writing, helping to train others, perhaps hosting a Bible study in his home, and witnessing on the Internet.
At the end of that council meeting, the group gathered around Moishe for prayer. David Brickner (who was serving on the council, as was I) recalled,
We all came forward to pray for him, and something happened inside me that I was so completely unprepared for. I just—something deep, deep, deep within me emotionally just broke open. And I don’t even know where it was coming from, but I was just weeping. As we were trying to pray, I couldn’t say a word. And I’m thinking to myself, What is going on? But that was an indication of how deep my love for Moishe is.
David had absolutely no idea that the next time the Jews for Jesus Council gathered around someone to pray, it would be him—newly nominated to serve as Moishe’s successor.
In the months and weeks leading up to that nomination, Moishe never tried to get a sense of how council members might be leaning. Yet a few days before the council meeting, he did ask if I knew who I would be voting for.
I told him that I had narrowed my short list to two people, and that between the two, I knew which I would probably vote for. “But,” I told him, “I’ve committed myself to not being committed to any one person until we are actually voting. I don’t know what God might do or what he might show us. And I want to do whatever I can to vote for the person he is choosing.” Then I told him that as best as I could determine from my conversations with other council members, they felt the same way. Moishe nodded his approval.
The process that Moishe had designed allowed the council a full ten days of deliberation to reach a unanimous choice. If and only if they failed to do so within the allotted time, the task of choosing a successor would revert to the board. Moishe’s system allowed for as many people on a beginning ballot as the senior staff might choose. The council would vote, and the lowest vote getter on the ballot would be dropped. The procedure would repeat until one name was left, and then a vote would be taken to see if the council would unanimously nominate that candidate. If not, the entire procedure would begin again.
When the time came, seven people were listed on the initial ballot, four of whom were voting members of the council. At some point, at least three and possibly four people would have to vote for someone other than themselves in order to reac
h a unanimous decision. What Moishe didn’t foresee, and what no one had dreamed possible, was that once the voting began, it would take less than half a day to come to a unanimous decision.
Moishe had been on standby to address the group once a unanimous vote was reached. For participants in the meeting, it was a heady experience. There was a sense of awe that it had all happened so quickly, and the consensus seemed to be that God had given a powerful answer to prayer by uniting the council and working through them to make known his choice of Moishe’s successor.
As Moishe entered the room, everyone made way for him to take his usual (now former) position at the head of the long table. There was a heightened sense of anticipation as he paused to catch his breath. What would he say to put the capstone on this amazing experience?
He smiled briefly and nodded to the group. He acknowledged that the choice had been made and expressed mild surprise that the position had fallen to David. The surprise was neither approving nor disapproving. He then gave a succinct talk that was fairly generic, inasmuch as it had been prepared to apply to the group, irrespective of the person selected. Moishe affirmed the process by which the decision had been made and his belief that God had worked through it. He went on to say that the strength of the organization had never been in just one person.
When I talked to him about it years later, Moishe admitted that he’d thought it likely that one of the older, founding leaders would have been chosen, but he never placed a value on that. It had merely seemed most likely to him. In fact, it had seemed more likely to David as well, which was why he had voted for one of those founding leaders and not himself in the first few ballots. So any surprise was not to be taken personally. Moishe had not been part of the process, and in retrospect, it must have been very difficult for him to address the group from a position of noninvolvement.
It didn’t occur to us then, but Moishe had probably been in a slight state of shock when he addressed the group. Perhaps it might be more accurate to say that he was emotionally dazed. He’d designed the process to curtail his influence, recognizing that the group had to commit themselves fully and of their own accord to following the next leader. Then he’d initiated that process at a certain point in time, believing it was in obedience to God. But now there was no going back, and he had to deal with the reality that someone else really was going to lead the ministry that he had always led.
To my knowledge, Moishe had not spent a great deal of time reflecting on what it would be like when he was no longer the leader of Jews for Jesus. If he had known how hard it would be, actually handing over the reins of power, he might not have been able to do it—a fact he readily admitted in later years.
While Moishe apparently had not prepared himself internally for this monumental change, he did make preparations for his successor. David recalled,
[Moishe] already knew that he wanted to see a consecration service at Tiferet Israel, which was the messianic congregation where I was a member at the time.
And he also wanted to have a ministry-wide installation party/banquet. He had a certain amount of money he wanted to spend, and he wanted one of the board members to preside over the installation, along with her husband. He’d obviously thought quite a bit about how to memorialize the transition so that others would feel the importance and value of it. I appreciated that about Moishe.
In fact, David wrote about Moishe’s part in the consecration service in an article for the Jews for Jesus newsletter:
Many who took part in the service offered me sobering admonitions.
Moishe took his turn, saying he didn’t have a mantle to give me except his parking place at headquarters, the executive office, and the staff. But he did want to bestow a symbol of authority, and he felt it should be something that had belonged to him during his tenure as executive director. We waited in suspense as Moishe described how he had pondered what he might give. He felt it should not only help me face my new responsibilities but, if the Lord tarried, he wanted something that would someday also help my successor. Finally, he reached into his pocket and pulled out something that someone had given him long ago—a shiny, gold-plated yo-yo.
He proceeded to explain that while a yo-yo is a fun toy, it also illustrates some key principles. For example, the yo-yo can only function when it is in the hand of its master. In order for a yo-yo to work, it must be in motion. Sometimes that motion is downward, but the harder the yo-yo goes down, the quicker it comes back up into the palm of the master’s hand.
In his inimitable manner, Moishe had used his trademark timing and humor to make some serious points without any sanctimonious stylings. Once again, it was “practical piety.”
Though Moishe hadn’t thought through all the ramifications and possible consequences of his choice to step down, he knew that it would be challenging for him to stop thinking and acting as the executive director. He therefore had apprehensions about remaining in San Francisco and thought it might be best to put some distance between himself and the headquarters office.
He told Ceil his concerns and suggested they consider moving to San Diego. They decided to remain in San Francisco, and later wondered, together and separately, if that had been a mistake. Yet it is questionable whether a geographical move would have addressed the depth of the difficulties that Moishe faced as a founding executive director handing over leadership to another.
Moishe wanted to be a help and support to David, and David had made a commitment that, as he put it, “any seat Moishe sat in would be a seat of honor.” The two of them did far more to uphold one another than many others in their positions might have done. Still, each found the ability to help and be helped by one another less than what they’d hoped for in their new roles.
When Moishe would visit David for regular appointments at the office, he frequently arrived early or stayed later to wander through various departments. He had always done so when he was executive director, to assess how things were going. While no longer in charge, Moishe was still interested to see how things were going, and his “rounds” sometimes resulted in problem-solving initiatives that were no longer his to take. At times the new executive director agreed with these initiatives but at times they caused tension.
Meanwhile, Moishe had his own inner tensions to manage. He’d never intended to retire completely, and yet to his dismay, people outside the ministry often asked him how his retirement was going. He came up with a plan whereby he felt he could better serve the ministry while regaining some of the challenge and excitement that seemed to be lacking in his present situation.
Accordingly, Moishe came to one of his regular appointments with David and informed him that he wanted to turn things around in the department responsible for recruiting new missionaries. He wanted to head up that department, and as David recalled, he wanted to do so from the headquarters office.
David had not doubted Moishe’s competence to oversee the department (known as minister-at-large), but he hadn’t wanted to undermine the relatively new department head who, he felt, needed a chance to succeed at the task. Nor was David comfortable with a change that would have Moishe working daily from the headquarters office again.
On one level, Moishe was truly content not to run the mission any longer. He not only felt that he had obeyed God in stepping down, but a great weight of responsibility had been lifted from him. On another level, however, he still believed he knew how to do things better than anyone else. David wanted to avail himself of Moishe’s wisdom and often asked him for advice—but quickly found that Moishe’s idea of advice was different from his.
Perhaps former subordinates might have asked for Moishe’s opinion or perspective rather than “advice” with more satisfactory results. When asked for advice, Moishe didn’t take it as a request for a possible way to solve a problem. He took it as an invitation to impart information about the best (or sometimes, to his mind, the right) course of action. If that course was not followed, he took it as a sign of disrespect or rejection. This dynam
ic was not peculiar to his relationship with David; in general, many of Moishe’s suggestions sounded a lot more like instructions.
Moishe was happy and magnanimous when his advice helped solve a problem or set a worthwhile project in motion, which happened frequently. However, on occasions when his advice was not taken, he had difficulty letting go. He also had a tendency to express his differences and disappointment to others, so that he sometimes fell short of his best intentions of affirming his successor. It was sad for mutual friends and colleagues to see his relationship with David become, on some levels, less than each had hoped or expected.
In addition to Moishe’s periodic difficulty in “letting go” there were fundamental differences between him and his successor (whose nature was to be enthusiastic and upbeat), not in values, but in personalities. Past chapters recount Moishe’s low grade depression, and his habit of preparing for the worst-case scenario. This was ingrained in his leadership style, as was his tendency to be skeptical of anyone he thought was overly optimistic or too expansive in their vision. These tendencies did not serve to ease the very natural tensions of transition that still would have existed between himself and his successor even under the most ideal circumstances.
Yet all was not gloomy for Moishe, nor was he shunted to the side after stepping down. One month after the council nominated David, Moishe had elective surgery and received a new stainless steel knee joint. His improved health that year enabled him to travel, speak, and consult on behalf of the ministry within the United States and abroad.
Early the following year (1997), Moishe trained new missionary candidates, who came to his home for lectures. He and Ceil also finished a book they had begun the year before titled Witnessing to Jews. It started as a rewrite of their previously published Share the New Life with a Jew, but the project grew as Moishe saw where the book could include further insights. The updated language made the book more readable, and the many additions rendered it a fairly comprehensive work on Jewish evangelism. He was also acknowledged as a contributor to the Nelson Study Bible, published by Thomas Nelson in 1997.
