Mama Dae is quick to hug Mac and Taz, wanting to know what happened and why.
Aric and Raf want to reenact whatever fight they had gotten into.
But I can probably tell the whole story.
And I don’t think I can stomach it.
I’m also tired of running up the stairs and going into the bedroom too.
The routine of everything is starting to get the best of me.
So this time I go to the front door.
I look behind me and smile as I open the door.
I step outside onto the porch and my heart starts to race.
It’s almost like I expect to see police and detectives and helicopters looking for me.
Which isn’t the case at all.
There isn’t a single person in sight.
Mama Dae has a well-hidden house and property.
I walk to the railing and lean forward. There’s a part of me that wants to be seen. I wonder what would happen if…
The door opens and my muscles tighten.
When I turn and see Mac looking at me, I shake my head.
“Hey,” he says.
“Not now, Mac. I can’t take much more.”
“I don’t think that’s an option,” he says.
“You look roughed up,” I say.
“Rough day. Things went bad.”
“Bad?”
Mac sits down in a chair and points to the one next to him.
“Sit down, sweetie,” he says.
I step back and sit down.
Mac leans forward and lights a cigarette.
He runs a hand through his hair.
When he looks at me, he smiles. “You know, I think about you all day long, Jolie. I can’t get you out of my mind. Even now when I smoke a cigarette, I think about you. I picture you standing there with the unlit cigarette between your lips. Wanting to smoke it. And then knowing you’ve never had a cigarette before. I don’t know. There’s just something about it all.”
“I think about you too,” I say. “All the time. You know that though. I just want to be with you, Mac. I can understand your life. I can find a way to be part of it. But this…”
“Just let me say something quick,” he says. “Before I lose the thought. Before I avoid stepping into this bullshit darkness.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning you were right,” Mac says.
“About?”
He looks down. “I think something’s wrong with Mama.”
Oh, believe me, I want to jump out of the chair and do a stupid dance and scream in Mac’s face that I was right and he was wrong.
But I know that won’t do a thing.
It’ll only hurt him. And anger him.
So I sit in silence.
I stare at him.
He slowly looks at me.
His eyes look glossy.
I can’t tell if he’s about to cry…
I hurry from the chair and grab for him.
His cigarette smoke dances around me.
I’m used to it by now.
“Mac… talk to me…”
“Taz and I should be dead right now, sweetie,” he says.
“What?”
I break away from him.
Mac nods. “That was dicey. That was as scary as it can get. Taz is a wild man though. He went for a fight and got one. So I jumped in too. That was the only way to save ourselves. They had guns.”
“Guns,” I say.
“We had guns too, sweetie. But it was four against two.”
My stomach felt sick.
Really sick.
I stand and lean against the railing.
Mac stands up too.
Towering over me.
“But this isn’t something easy,” he says. “I have to figure this out.”
“How did this happen?”
“She had the wrong time again,” Mac says. “We were supposed to see something happening. To get some answers. Instead, we were early. We were just standing there like fucking targets. Taz even got clipped by a bullet.”
“What?” I yell.
“He’s fine. Just skin. It could have been much worse.”
“Mac…”
“Jolie, just listen to me. I appreciate all you’ve said and done with this.” He moves toward me. He flicks his cigarette off the porch. “You were right about it. Something is going on. What is it? I don’t know. I can’t just say something to her either. I’m going to have to get things in order. You’ve seen it. Les has seen it. Taz has seen it. I have too.”
“She can’t keep doing this,” I say. “She’s going to get you killed.”
“I’ll be more careful,” Mac says. “I’m not going to take her information to heart. I’ll do my own digging around, okay? We have to keep going. I need you to be safe.”
“I can’t be safe if you’re dead,” I yell.
Mac touches my face.
He nods.
He knows this.
He knows all of it.
And I’m not dumb either.
This isn’t just a simple conversation. Even in normal circumstances it wouldn’t be. How in the world do you tell someone like Mama Dae that she’s acting differently? More so, Mama Dae knows it too. She’s just trying to hide it. Keep it away from everyone. Only now it’s getting everyone into trouble.
My mind is racing.
Mac kisses me and puts his forehead to mine.
“I can’t lose you, Mac,” I whisper. “Not like this. I’ll hate her for the rest of my life if that happens. I don’t care what she means to you.”
“There’s no need to hate anyone right now, sweetie.”
“What about you?” I ask.
“What about?”
“Can I hate you?”
“Hate me for what…”
“Just everything,” I say.
I kiss him and then move away.
Mac grabs my wrist and pulls me back. “You can hate me for everything, Jolie. But as long as you know I’ll do anything to keep you alive and safe, I don’t care.”
“I’m not supposed to be out here,” I say to him.
“I know. You’re nothing but a rule breaker now.”
“Are you going to let me smoke a cigarette or what?” I ask.
Mac grins. “You know where they are.”
We go back into the house.
I see Mama Dae first.
She’s getting herself settled at the table.
“Come on,” she yells to me. “You’re holding up dinner. Let’s move.”
I force a smile to my face and go to the table.
I look at Taz and shake my head.
“Something wrong, darling?” Taz asks.
“You look like hell,” I say. “Violet isn’t into the beat up guy look.”
Les strokes his chin. “Look at my face. I bet Violet loves it.”
“I thought we had something here, Jolie,” Taz says. “That hurts.”
“Well, looking at you hurts,” I say.
I sit down and look at Mama Dae.
She’s staring at Mac.
And she looks a little sad.
Having a guy like Mac take me to bed each night is not the worst thing in the world.
I just have to say that.
Maybe it’s a little reminder to myself too.
Because it feels like the same thing over and over now…
Sitting up in bed with Mac, talking and flirting. That’s the fun part.
Having a drink or two. That’s fun too.
Waiting for Mac to make his move and then he and I touching and tasting each other for hours… that’s the best part.
There’s not a night I don’t fall asleep with my heart racing.
Or the nights where he does change things up and carries me to the shower and we stand there, trying to clean ourselves up only to go at it again.
Believe me, those are the best moments… maybe in my entire life.
But then it’s morning again.
&n
bsp; We kiss.
He gets out of bed.
He smokes a cigarette.
We go downstairs.
Sometimes the guys are there.
Sometimes they aren’t.
It’s just… the same.
This morning after breakfast, Mac takes my hand and walks me to the front porch.
“I promise nothing crazy today,” he says to me. “It’s just a normal day for me right now. I’ll be back earlier too. Maybe if things go right, I can pick up Violet again or something. Throw a little party upstairs?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “We’ll see.”
“I know this is hard for you,” he says. “But look where you are. There’s nobody around. You’re going to be okay.”
I look around.
He’s right.
There is nobody around.
He kisses me.
I grab his hand and squeeze it tight. “Promise me.”
“I promise, sweetie,” he says. “Nothing crazy today.”
We go back inside and Taz is waiting for Mac.
Mac goes into the kitchen and Taz comes my way.
“Still want to be mean to me?” he asks.
“You got shot at?” I whisper.
“No big deal.”
“Taz…”
“Hey, stop,” he says.
“Taz, you know something’s wrong, right? You, Les… Mac…”
“Darling, you have to stop,” he says. “We know what we know. Do me a favor.”
“What?”
“Tell Violet I love her,” he says.
“That I won’t do.”
“Okay. Just tell her I want her in bed. Cut through the bullshit. Life’s too short.”
“Again… no. I’m not even allowed to contact her.”
“Shit,” Taz says. “Well, maybe you can give me her number? I’ll pass a message from you to her. My gift to you.”
“Here’s my gift to you, Taz,” I say.
I lift my right middle finger.
Taz laughs. “You used to be calmer and nicer. Mac really messed you up.”
He winks and walks away.
I watch as Mac and Taz leave the house.
Then it’s just myself and Mama Dae once again.
She shuffles from the kitchen to the dining room.
She has to adjust each chair just to say she did so.
When she spots me, she smiles. “You okay, Jolie?”
“Fine,” I say.
Mama Dae wanders off to her room.
I don’t move right away though.
I have an idea.
A really bad idea.
But… it’s something I need to do.
I walk down the sidewalk with my sunglasses on and I know I have the hood of my hoodie to pull up if I feel like something is wrong.
So far, so good.
Mama Dae’s street is really quiet.
Calm and quiet.
I just want to walk around the block.
Just to be on my own.
To breathe fresh air.
Most of all… to make a decision on my own.
It takes me twenty minutes to walk the block.
I take my time and enjoy every second of it.
Then I decide to do it again.
Why not?
I stop at the corner and look around.
My nose smells something.
It smells greasy.
It smells really good.
I jog across the street, knowing I’m breaking even more rules.
I really don’t care though.
I need this.
It’s my freedom.
And now it’s my stomach wanting to find out what smells so good.
I hear the engine of a car and I slow down.
I look back and then look forward really quick.
I suck in a breath and hold it as the car passes by.
Just like that… the car is gone.
When I exhale, I smile.
I don’t even know if anyone is looking for me, right? I don’t know what’s really happening.
The next time I see a car, I don’t bother flinching for a second.
It’s all going to be okay.
Two more blocks of walking and I find a little corner restaurant. It’s like a deli and breakfast place all combined into one. There’s a sign on the door for to go items and that’s what I want.
Slip in and slip out.
To grab something to eat even though I’m not hungry at all.
A sense of… normalcy.
I’m going to walk into a little corner restaurant thing and then walk out and walk back to Mama Dae’s and tell myself everything is perfectly fine.
I open the door and step inside.
Part of me expects everyone to look at me.
To look and point and start to freak out because I’m the missing girl.
Not a single person looks at me.
Straight ahead is the counter where you pay.
To my right is the seating area to sit and relax.
I’m jealous of everyone sitting, eating, reading the paper, checking their phones, relaxing.
To my left there’s a long, glass case on the counter.
That’s where the to go food is waiting.
I step to the glass and see a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on a bagel.
Hello calorie and carb heaven…
I grab for the sandwich and I lick my lips.
I’ll find room in my stomach for the sandwich.
That I’m not worried about.
I slowly turn and look at the elderly woman behind the cash register.
She’s not even looking at me.
Which is perfect.
This is perfect.
I walk to the register and put the sandwich down on the counter.
“Is that everything?” the elderly woman asks me.
“That’s it,” I say in a happy voice. “I just wanted to-”
A hand clamps down on my right shoulder.
7
MAC
I walk to the skatepark as Winston comes flying up the halfpipe and loses his board and his balance. His board ends up in the sand and he lands on his feet, but stumbles all the way to the railing.
He bursts into laughter and claps his hands together, then runs his hand through his ratty hair.
He turns and looks at me. “Hey, Mac.”
“You good?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he says with a smile.
His eyes are like tiny little beads.
He’s high as a cloud.
Jakey comes running Winston’s way, whistling and clapping his hands.
“That was fucking ace!” Jakey yelled.
“Man, that was bold as fuck,” Winston says.
I shake my head and keep walking.
I go to the railing and lean against it.
Down at the shore I see some of Van’s guys.
They’re standing and pointing to the waves.
Behind me the sound of the wheels on the halfpipes are like their own music or something. Like the waves hitting the shore, you know? The skateboarders, the bladers, the bikers… they all have their own noise.
I turn my head and see someone new at the bikers.
You ever see those things they call fanny packs?
Yeah, well, this new guy has one with the pack bouncing off his ass as he walks.
He grabs a bike and starts to ride.
This guy takes the halfpipe and does a full backflip on his first ride.
I nod and look forward again.
I light a cigarette and wait for Les and Taz to show up.
We have to figure things out as a crew, but right now, I just need Les and Taz.
Aric, Raf, and Ado are handling the campus business for me.
I told Aric and Raf to make sure all the pretty girls are feeling good. And I told Ado to handle the rough shit and I’ll throw him a little extra cash at the end of the day.
So everyone fucking wins.
I hear Taz’s booming voice behind me.
I turn and lean into the corner of the railing.
I fist bump Les first, then Taz.
“We’ve got a new guy over there,” I say to them as I nod to the bikers. “I’ll have to ask Peg Leg Mikey about it. Not sure where he is right now.”
“That’s not why we’re here, is it?” Les asks.
“No,” I say. “I wanted you guys alone to talk about something.”
Taz nods. “Can we guess?”
“It’s not a fucking game, bro,” I say.
“I know it’s not,” Taz says. “I almost died.”
“So did I,” I say.
“I almost fucked up,” Les says.
“I know, bro. I’m sorry for how that went down. How I reacted to it all. I’m still putting this together in my head. I have to tell you something.”
“Go for it,” Les says.
“Jolie brought it up earlier. Shit she saw happening.”
“With Mama?” Taz asks.
I nod. “Yeah. Little things. She forgot to turn the burner on when cooking. Then the night Jolie helped us, she found Mama on the floor in the house. Just sitting on the kitchen floor.”
“Holy shit,” Taz says. “Was she okay?”
“Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. I mean, she wasn’t hurt. I got pissed at Jolie for even bringing it up. I got really pissed at her actually. But she was right. You know this is really fucked up to deal with.”
Les rubs his jaw. “This isn’t good, bro.”
“How do we even handle this?” Taz asks. “Mama isn’t the type to listen.”
“We can’t say anything to her,” I say.
Les looks at me. “You sure about that?”
“Look at what we’re in the middle of, bro,” I say. “We have to finish this thing with Jolie’s old man. We have to figure out who he really is. We can’t have anything else go wrong.”
“How’s that possible if Mama isn’t right in the head?” Taz asks.
“Fuck, don’t say it like that,” I snap.
“Then what is it, Mac?” Les yells at me. “Huh? What is it?”
I turn and look to the ocean.
“I don’t know what I want to call it yet,” I say. “I don’t want to think about it.”
“We don’t have a choice,” Taz says. He leans against the railing next to me and looks at the ocean too.
Les is on the other side of me.
I look at him.
He’s not happy.
Why would he be?
This is messed up.
Mess Us Up (Brooks Crest Book 3) Page 6
