How to Bake a New Beginning

by Lucy Knott

  Her grandpa had adored the place he was born and raised. He had instilled in his girls the same strong devotion to Italian culture and they were proud of their Italian heritage. Louisa knew she couldn’t waste a day in bed when the whole of Italy was at her feet.

  After a simple breakfast of coffee and a chocolate cornetto, she dressed in her favourite graffiti-print Converse, black slimline pants and an embellished roll-neck jumper and then spent an hour or so trying to convince Sabrina to come with her on her morning outing.

  Sabrina had seemed distracted after speaking with her boss the night before, so Louisa didn’t want to push too much and though she knew it would probably do her sister good to get some fresh air and not spend time overthinking about work when she was so far away, she left Sabrina to enjoy her own morning at the house and stepped into the cool but pleasant outdoors.

  She vaguely remembered where she was going. It had been many years since she had walked these pathways, but she decided she was happy to let her feet wander and figure it out like it was the first time she was experiencing it all. Breathing in the salty air, she allowed her jaw to loosen and her brows to unfurrow, wanting to see Italy the way her grandpa did, with a smile on his face.

  Louisa walked for a while taking in every nook and cranny of each uniquely shaped building. The history burst from the stones and drew you in, making you lust for Italy even more. There was a regal feel to Italy. The grand entranceways, iron gates and ceramic pillars, though often a tad worn and rusty, still stood tall and proud. They oozed a richness that Louisa felt was rare to find anywhere else.

  A few more steps past creamy tile walls and a mosaic art piece of the Virgin Mary, and the air filled with the most heaven-sent, sweet aroma Louisa had ever had the pleasure of smelling. That was saying something when her nonni and big sister were renowned chefs. She checked her watch and realized that it was lunchtime. Orzoro came alive during lunch and the cold weather wasn’t fazing the people bustling in and out of the delicatessen that Louisa quickly realized was the culprit behind that mouth-watering smell. Her nose, and stomach, were currently directing her feet. She could barely squeeze her tiny frame inside the packed hot spot.

  Her stomach rumbled at the sight of each delectable pastry. The food appeared to be absolute perfection. Just looking at the crisp layers of sfogliatelle, the choux pastry bursting with fluffy vanilla custard and the warm focaccia filled with plump, juicy olives, transported her back to being a little girl running around on the balcony at her aunties’ house, with freshly baked treats in her hand as she looked out across the sea at the Amalfi Coast, crystal blue water as far as her little eyes could see.

  A single tear rolled down her cheek at the memory. How was she supposed to go on without her grandpa? How did people do it? Suddenly, she felt weak and claustrophobic. Her heartbeat quickened, and her legs shook. She wasn’t strong; she wasn’t capable of moving on. Her heart felt torn, trodden on, completely crushed to pieces. Everything reminded her of him. How was she supposed to go to Italy and celebrate him, without him? The place that had his heart that he missed so much – it didn’t seem fair that he was now home under this circumstance.

  ‘Ciao, bella.’ The silvery voice broke her out of her trance.

  She looked up quickly, wiping the stray tear away from her cheek. ‘Ciao,’ she replied shaking off her thoughts. ‘Mi spiacente, I didn’t mean to hold up the line, erm, I’ll just take one of everything?’ She was playing with her wavy brown hair, tucking it behind her ear then untucking it again. As she looked up, her eyes met the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. She felt like a fool, crying while she was out in public. ‘I was away with the fairies. I am sorry – you must think I’m a crazy woman.’

  Her eyes connected with his. They were warm and friendly and made her insides flutter. A gentle smile spread across his handsome face.

  ‘Crazy is not the word I would use. Beautiful yes, crazy no.’ His Italian accent was thick and just as mesmerizing as his beautiful face. She just wanted him to keep talking but knew if he did she would most likely turn to mush. She needed air. Louisa could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. Her face must be beet red by now, she thought.

  She couldn’t do this. She was not built to talk to such striking men, who were way out of her league. She thought of her sisters, how Amanda would be confident and charming without so much as a second thought, while Sabrina would be flirty, her natural sweetness pouring out, and here she was a vulnerable, stuttering mess. She let out a shaky laugh. Oh crap, it was her turn to talk.

  ‘I’m sorry, erm, grazie. You’re rather beautiful yourself.’ What the …? Did she just say that? Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa. She looked up praying he was watching over her. Help me, she whispered. It was his turn to blush – wait, he was blushing? Surely people called him beautiful all the time? He must have girls swooning over him every day, but … but he was blushing. She beamed. His eyes, she noticed, had not wandered from her face.

  ‘Would you like to sit for coffee?’ he asked, gesturing towards a small table hidden in the corner. She’d been standing there so long getting in the way and holding up the queue, ‘Erm … yes, sorry, I’m staying in, thank you.’ She nodded awkwardly and retreated to the corner table.

  Taking off her blazer she made herself comfortable, placing her bag on the opposite empty chair, so no one would bother her, and pulled out her drawings. She wiped her red eyes with a napkin to soak up the stubborn tears and made to focus on creating a new piece when the handsome stranger walked over and placed her coffee and a box of pastries in front of her. He looked at her bag and then to her. He smiled sweetly before turning as though to walk away, but instead he turned back to face her, placing a hand on her bag chair.

  ‘Would you mind if I sat with you?’ he asked, glancing at her work, with an apologetic look in his eyes, as if the decision to disturb her or not had been a difficult one.

  ‘Sure,’ Louisa said, after a moment’s hesitation. She reached over the table to move her bag, her curiosity about this man getting the better of her.

  ‘My name is Luca,’ the gorgeous man said, sticking out his hand.

  Louisa shook it. ‘I’m Louisa, sorry about before. I had a few things on my mind and it all got a bit too much,’ she finished, picking up a pencil and rotating it between her fingers.

  ‘There’s no need to be sorry …’ Luca started.

  ‘What might be the problem?’ Luca asked at the same time Louisa queried, ‘Do you work here?’ They both looked down at the table, blushing. Louisa placed the pen down and picked up her coffee, taking a sip. As soon as the hot liquid touched her lips she choked on a sudden burst of laughter. Luca’s face was kind as he simply watched her.

  ‘What a silly question,’ Louisa said. ‘You just served me, and I asked if you worked here.’ With a mixture of nerves in her stomach and a giddiness that Luca provoked, laughter seemed to engulf her. It became a release. She laughed some more, and it wasn’t long before Luca joined her. As his face creased into a smile, dimples appeared at his cheeks and he placed one hand on his belly, making him even more attractive.

  Luca shuffled in his seat, pulling himself together first and then giving Louisa his full attention. He answered her question like it wasn’t silly at all. ‘Yes, I work here. It has been in my family for generations. My dad, he is the owner now and I will take over from him one day.’

  ‘It’s a beautiful pasticceria. My sister, Amanda, would love it,’ Louisa said, calming herself and taking in the cosy environment. The stunning portraits of Italy on the walls were captivating.

  ‘Your family is here, no?’ Luca asked, his kind eyes making Louisa feel as though she could tell him everything. She looked at Luca and then to the box he had placed on the table. Opening the lid, she picked out a sugary biscuit and took a bite, then washed it down with a sip of coffee. Once the sugar was in her system her words tumbled out with ease.

  ***

  An hour later Louisa walked out of Alfonso’s, eyes
puffy, sparkling smile spread wide across her face and feeling a mix of elation and a ball of nerves. She’d spent the entire time chatting away to Luca about every little thing. He’d listened to every word that came out of her mouth. His gaze never faltered from hers, except when she noticed he seemed to get a little nervous too. He would look to her lips, his own curling into a shy smile.

  This had made her shoulders relax and she had felt at ease telling him about her grandpa. Her eyes were red from the tears she hadn’t been able to control. Instead of being put off by the emotional girl in front of him, his blazing blue eyes had shown a deep sorrow and sympathy for her. He spoke of his family and how close they were and how her grandpa sounded like a great man.

  Here was this undeniably sexy man who was paying her attention in the kindest way. She found herself staring at him, just wanting to take in his beauty and kindness. He seemed unaware of the attention from girls that passed by, girls whose eyes couldn’t help noticing his chiselled jaw, floppy brown hair and stunning smile. Not to mention the biceps straining against his white shirt. Though Louisa had of course noticed all of this too, it was his words that had her smiling as though she had just heard the ice-cream man on a sunny afternoon in Manchester.

  The wispy December air hit her as she stepped outside. Her graffitied Converse tapped a happy beat on the cobbled path that would lead her home. She took in a deep breath and looking to the sky. She whispered: ‘Grazie, Grandpa.’ Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder. Startled she spun round nearly tripping over her own two feet. Luca was quick to catch her with his free hand. A few passers-by gasped at the scene.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Louisa panted. ‘You scared me.’

  ‘I meant not to frighten you.’ His worried face turned into a small smile. ‘You are incredibly cute, Louisa.’ He looked to her lips again, a slight flush in his cheeks. ‘You forgot your cakes for your nanna, and my nonno wanted to send these to your nanna too. Do you mind not to taking them?’ While one hand was still resting warm on her waist, the other held the box of pastries as well as the most stunning pink roses she had ever seen. She felt yet another tear roll down her face. Nanna’s favourite – how did he know?

  ***

  ‘How long have you been sitting there, Brina?’ Louisa said, looking at her sister, her face creased with concern. Sabrina was sat on the stone balcony staring at the flowerpots, her eyes glassed over.

  ‘What? Sorry,’ Sabrina whispered. Louisa watched as Sabrina rubbed her eyes and then turned to face her, her hazel eyes misty. Louisa placed the flowers and the boxes on the small garden table beside her and reached inside the box for a piece of focaccia. She tore it in two and handed a piece to Sabrina.

  Sure enough, the moment the smell of warm bread filled her sister’s nostrils, Louisa noticed Sabrina’s spirits lift ever so slightly, as she licked her lips and her eyes became clearer. ‘Hey, where’ve you been?’ Sabrina asked, as though noticing Louisa for the first time and sounding more like herself than a second ago.

  Louisa felt her cheeks flush and hoped Sabrina wouldn’t notice her turning a bright shade of pink. ‘I just went for a walk and thought I would pick up some stuff for dinner tonight so Amanda and everyone didn’t have to cook too much. I know everyone is still a bit dazed, but Grandpa would be the first to tell us to eat.’ She spoke as casually as she could manage with Sabrina eyeing her up and down.

  ‘Aww, thanks, Lou, it smells amazing. Everyone will appreciate that. This is delicious,’ Sabrina said, taking another bite of focaccia.

  ‘Why, don’t we go inside, Brina? You’re going to catch a chill sitting on this tile so long,’ Louisa said, noticing her sister’s lips were a little blue. Sabrina was wearing a light cardigan, flip-flops and her pyjama shorts. An unusual combination to choose for an Italian winter, Louisa thought. ‘Come on, I can show you what else I got. If you like that bread, you’re going to love the pastries.’ She stood up and led the way into the kitchen. Once inside she pushed some plates and leftovers from breakfast aside and placed the boxes down on the counter.

  ‘It really doesn’t seem real, does it?’ Sabrina questioned, as she munched on the warm bread and took a seat at the kitchen table. Louisa stopped trimming the flowers she had started to place into a vase and pulled up a chair opposite her sister. She could hear Rai Uno playing in the living room and made out the murmurs of the rest of the family as they answered along to their favourite quiz show.

  She sighed, the question snapping her back into the reality of their trip, the reason behind them being here. It wasn’t all about eating her weight in focaccia and looking forward to the Christmas parade of the Saint here in Orzoro. It took a moment for her to form words. ‘No, it really doesn’t. I keep wanting to go over and say hi to him, tell him about my day and then suddenly it crushes me.’

  She paused. ‘You know what though?’ Louisa bit her tongue in thought before pushing herself to continue. ‘I don’t want to believe he’s gone. It doesn’t feel like he’s gone, you know? I don’t know if I’m still in shock and I will be in for a rude awakening soon, but I just feel like we have so much love around us. He left so many happy memories and gosh, just walking around Orzoro today, all the food, the people, it made me smile. It’s like Grandpa’s guiding us; it’s like he’s reminding me he’s still here.’

  She looked up and found Sabrina looking right at her, slowly chewing her last piece of focaccia. Her face was soft, and dark bags had settled under her hazel eyes, bags that Louisa hadn’t noticed before. LA was keeping Sabrina on her toes and it hit Louisa with force right in her chest, that she hadn’t been supportive or kind to her sister in recent months. She felt ashamed.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Louisa muttered. ‘I’m sorry for being so cruel, acting as though you don’t care about your family when I know that’s the farthest thing from the truth. I’m sorry for not being there for you and understanding all the hard work you put in. It was wrong of me to speak to you that way when I know all you’ve done to get where you are. We just miss you, that’s all,’ she finished. Louisa looked up, hoping her sister would know she meant every word. Sabrina watched her for a moment before sharing an appreciative smile.

  ‘Thank you for that. I’m sorry too, for being so harsh about London. I just want you to get your designs out there and get out of that awful office culture. Your talent is being wasted and you are so young. You have so much to offer – you just can’t give up so easily,’ Sabrina replied.

  In that moment, the girls felt that connection, that deep understanding that only sisters feel. They were all trying to figure out life’s journey while staying true to themselves and each other and right now they were all in pain yet all doing their best for one another. Family went through its ups and downs, but they shouldn’t waste time arguing or resenting each other. Sabrina reached out and placed a cold hand on Louisa’s arm. They exchanged knowing grins.

  ‘So, are you going to tell me what’s got you all flushed pink and those pretty caramel eyes of yours sparkling, or are you going to make me guess?’ Sabrina added, wiggling her eyebrows. ‘Spill?’

  Louisa felt the heat rise in her cheeks once more and knew she was most likely a bright shade of rose right now, but she wasn’t one to keep things from her sisters. For starters she was always the one harping on about singing from the rooftops when it came to love, and she still felt a hint of irritation whenever she thought about her sisters being scared to broach such a topic with Dan and Levi.

  But now her mind was playing hypocrite. She had only known Luca for an hour. This couldn’t be love. She was just emotional, and this giddy feeling would pass. She was a grown-up. She couldn’t go around acting like a schoolgirl with a teenage crush. She suddenly realized that the love game wasn’t quite as simple as she once thought, but she wasn’t about to admit that to her sister just yet. She continued playing with a piece of the bread that Sabrina hadn’t devoured yet.

  ‘My cheeks are not pink, and my eyes are always this pretty – they natura
lly sparkle,’ she replied sarcastically with a nervous giggle, trying to put off the inevitable and avoid giving the game away completely.

  ‘You have been twiddling that piece of bread in your fingertips for an age while I’ve scoffed half the loaf, then you put it down, and didn’t even eat it and now you are playing with it again. You buried your head in those gorgeous roses as soon as you entered the kitchen, so spill the beans, missy,’ Sabrina pushed.

  Louisa was not going to be able to make a lucky escape.

  ‘Your dear sister could do with some of that radiant glow you’ve got going on, so details please,’ Sabrina continued, clapping her hands together, ready for juicy gossip. Louisa popped the bread into her mouth. It truly was spectacular, and she debated whether to admit that a veritable stranger had evoked such strong feelings of happiness in just over an hour, and just a few days after her grandpa had passed.

  Should she feel ashamed? Would her sister think badly of her? But looking at Sabrina, Louisa saw no judgement in her eyes; instead they were warm and encouraging, hopeful of some good news, and twinkling with a hint of mischief, which made Louisa confess. She swallowed the delicious bread and bared her soul, choosing to remain true to herself and embracing the feeling of love. Who knew, maybe it would inspire Sabrina to do the same with Levi.

  ‘Brina, I swear it was like something out of a fairy tale just like Nanna and Grandpa. I walked into this tiny delicatessen. My feet just led me there because the smell was to die for. I have to take you. Amanda would die – sorry bad choice of words.’ She cringed; Sabrina chuckled. ‘I saw the food and I lost it. I just thought of Grandpa and all that he had baked for us and it was terrible. I cried right in the middle of the place for goodness’ sake.’