I grabbed a pair of shorts and poured myself into bed. My hand reached over to the nightstand and picked up the phone setting there. The shock of this action gripped me hard. I knew I hadn’t reached for it. I yelled out loud, “Samael, don’t do that!”
Samael’s voice was quiet in my head when he replied, “Max, you need to call her.”
“I need some sleep.” I took control of my hand and returned the phone to its cradle.
He was still not overbearing. His tone was matter-of-fact when he responded, “She didn’t do anything wrong, Max. You need to call her and tell her something. It’s not fair to her to not know. You don’t need to tell her anything you don’t want to, but having spent a fair amount of time with her, I know what makes her tick. Your ignoring her is worse than anything you could say to her. She doesn’t deserve the silent treatment.”
Disbelief took hold. Samael must have gone off the deep end. At what point did he begin caring for anyone other than himself? “Stay the hell out of it, Samael!”
“She doesn’t understand what happened. She thinks she’s done something wrong. She hasn’t had experience with anyone but you. If you cut her off without explanation, she’ll always be wounded and it’ll be your fault. If you want that on your conscience then so be it, but she would move a mountain for you. The least you can do is pick up the phone.”
“Samael, I appreciate the advice and everything, but it isn’t my fault that I had to break ties with her. It’s yours. So any minute you want to step out of my body, I would be more than happy to spend time with Lauren, but as of right now, I am more of a danger to her than anything else.”
“She is in no danger from either of us. Renny, on the other hand, is manipulating her.”
“Rewsna and Lauren are friends. Speaking of friends, I liked you a whole lot better when you were keeping to yourself.”
A sharp pain bolted through my temple. Samael’s words were decisive, “Renny is not your friend. She is not Lauren’s friend. Do not trust her.”
“That’s a pretty stern warning coming from a demon.”
“Max, I am not all that complicated a being. I like order to my world. Those who want to interfere with the natural order of things have always gotten a visit from my kind. I possessed Lauren for nearly three years. After she was ripped away from me, that is when she knew fear, that is when she knew pain. She was a part of me for so long that I am still attuned to her. You have hurt her badly, and I believe a simple phone call is not so very much to ask.”
“I thought demons liked suffering? Why are you so concerned about Lauren?”
“Again, you aren’t the brightest bulb on the scoreboard. We already covered this. Lauren could go either way. Her powers, if used by the Council, have the ability to change destinies, ultimately creating chaos. If her powers were to be used by the Cabinet she could amplify predetermined outcomes.”
“What do you mean by amplify?”
“Lauren can intensify emotions that the Cabinet can feed off of. For instance, let’s say your new friend Dale had to do CPR on a gunshot victim. The Cabinet member that represents Doubt under normal circumstances could do little to convince Dale his efforts were futile. However, Lauren could amplify Doubt’s efforts and make Dale give up prematurely.”
“So that’s why you want Lauren, to help you kill people?”
“No, that is not what I said. There is a reason the Cabinet exists. That gun-shot victim, if he were to live would be a drain on his family. He would never again be a productive member of society. He would sink into a deep depression and eventually he might just off himself, which would put his family through further turmoil unnecessarily. The whole situation could have been avoided if Doubt could have simply been more powerful at that particular moment.” I was frightened because Samael’s explanation actually made sense. I had seen way too many people whose lives we had saved just to have them never really live again. “You know I’m right. Having Lauren assist the Cabinet is simply a less painful resolution to the inevitable. They aren’t trying to alter destinies. They aren’t trying to reverse events. They are only trying to amplify their skills when they are desperately needed.”
I didn’t want to continue this conversation. I definitely did not want to see Samael’s side of the story. I really only wanted to rest. I rolled over in bed, away from the phone, and assumed Samael would get the hint.
A warmth encompassed me, that familiar light shining from nowhere in particular. Lauren was watching me again; I could feel her eyes on me. As exhausted as my body was, a part of me desperately wanted her here with me. I didn’t trust Samael. I have a hard time believing that the good guys are the bad guys and the bad guys are really the good guys. He keeps telling me that Rewsna is bad news for Lauren, but I just can’t see it. Rewsna has been nothing but helpful to Lauren and she trusts her. Samael himself said he attacked Lauren, he held her hostage for almost three years. I know he can hear my every thought. He knows exactly what I’m thinking all the time.
As I eased into a welcomed sleep, I relived the day I walked into Lauren’s room at the nursing home with Gramps. I started to get erect. Lauren was still watching, so I couldn’t speak outloud, but I nearly shouted in my head, “Samael, I told you to leave my body alone!”
A condescending tone answered me back, “That isn’t me, Max. If you insist on thinking about her, you have to accept your own body’s reaction. One phone call won’t make a bit of difference to you, but it’ll make a world of difference to her. She thinks she’s done something wrong. You need either to tell her the truth or to lie to her, but you cannot keep on ignoring her like this. She has had an extremely traumatic life thus far, caused by the Council’s many interferences in her life. You have the power to ease some of her pain.”
The warmth I had felt minutes ago disappeared, and I knew she wasn’t watching anymore. I breathed a sigh of relief, and I could feel Samael’s frustration with me.
The phone rang and I knew exactly who was calling. My hand twitched, and I knew Samael really wanted to get it, but somehow he had abstained. He didn’t seem to be forcing his will on me, which was a bit of a shock. It rang again and I looked at it. Samael quietly urged me, “Just talk to her.” It rang a third time, and I was still on the fence as to whether I’d be doing more harm than good. Finally, on the fourth ring I picked it up. I did my best not to sound like a love sick puppy, when I said, “Hi Lauren.”
“Max, just listen for a minute.” Her voice was urgent, maybe a little rehearsed. She paused, I guess expecting me to interrupt. I didn’t. “I know you’re angry with me; I know why. I never would have helped Samael if I had known it wasn’t you. Everything was chaos and all turned around that night. Max, I swear I would do anything to take it back. I need you.” There was a long silence. I so very much wanted to tell her why I couldn’t see her. But telling Lauren the truth would be just like telling Rewsna. If I did, I knew that Samael was right: we would both end up dead. I just needed to figure out how to get him out of my head.
“Lauren, I just need a little time. I’m not angry with you. I just got a little wierded out in that bank vault. I’m sorry – I know I hurt your feelings. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just need to ease back into a normal life.”
Her voice was pleading, “Max, I want to come over to talk.”
I kept myself from shouting, “NO!” Her voice was soothing, not in a lullaby way, but in an all is right with the world way. “I’m worn out, I just need some sleep. I’ll call you when I get up, okay?”
I could hear the hopefulness in her voice when she asked, “You don’t want me to come over?” Every fiber in my being was screaming, “Tell her yes! Tell her to come over right now!”
“Like I said, it has been a pretty intense month. I’m not mad, I do still love you, and I know I want us to have a shot at a normal life. You need to understand, I was at war for over a year. I saw death and pain all around me. I came back to the guilt of finding you awake and alone. I was awakened to
the knowledge that there are evil things all around us. I was devastated to learn that for a second time I couldn’t protect you from the thing that scared you most in the world, and emasculated to know that you defeated Samael twice without my help. Please just give me some time. I’ve known since our first moments together that you were the only person I would ever want to be with; I just need to work through some things. Being a jackass to you when you don’t deserve it is bound to happen again until I get my head on straight. It would be better just to let me be for a little while.”
“If you won’t see me, will you at least call and talk to me?”
I didn’t hear any obvious hurt in her voice, “I’ll call you when I get up this afternoon.”
We hung up; to Samael’s credit he kept quiet about the whole incident. He didn’t interject an opinion, and he didn’t comment on my conversation.
*****
The sun was coming through the west facing window. I opened my eyes to check the clock: 4:30. I needed to get moving so I could get ready for work. As I stirred, I felt a warm hand caress my back. I froze, not wanting to let on that I was awake.
She must have realized that I wasn’t sleeping, because Lauren’s soft voice said, “Max, I get that you want to work through this on your own, and I can respect that. I just really need you.” Her hand slid down my back and draped over me. Her hand caressed me, and I could feel her body pressed to mine. The arousal was immediate, I ached for her so bad that my body overrode my head and completely took over.
I rolled over and was on top of her in the blink of an eye. My mouth found hers and I began kissing her slowly, deeply. She responded immediately. Despite all of my weight compressing her, she grinded herself into me. I thought I would come right there in my shorts. I started to ease her shirt off, but her encouragement didn’t stop, and I ended up ripping it off of her.
Her breasts were staring at me, inviting me to touch them. I looked into her eyes. I could hear a quiet voice in the back of my head warning me against it, but in this moment - I just didn’t care. I sucked hard on her left breast, so hard that she groaned with pleasure – a sound I had missed so desperately I only wanted to hear it again. She wound her legs around me, still half dressed, and I thrust my weight into her hard.
I wanted her. I knew Samael did, too. I could no more deny him this, anymore than I could myself. The need was primal, in this moment more necessary than air.
I hiked her shorts off, a little more violently than was necessary, but she hadn’t batted an eye when I had torn her shirt off. My mouth found her lips and kissed them more fiercely than a wild animal devouring its prey.
Lauren was so stimulated she shoved me on my back and took over. Our intertwined bodies moved together perfectly, we climaxed in the same moment, and I felt myself turn from steel to jelly in her arms.
There were so many things I wanted to say to her, so many feelings she had evoked, I couldn’t bear to break this perfect moment. We lay there wrapped in each other’s arms, both probably afraid the other would let go. She was the one person that I belonged to, that above all others, owned me. Here I had tried to be so tough, tried to shelter her from the monster within me, and I had failed miserably. In this moment I didn’t care. The guilt of my selfishness flooded in, and I knew if I told her to keep a distance she would only hear my rejection and not my love for her. I teetered on the edge for several minutes when she finally spoke.
“Max, I don’t care what you’re going through, I couldn’t care less about what you think you are protecting me from, I need you. After today I know you need me, too. I’ll try to give you space, but you have to understand that every minute away from you kills me.”
I started to respond, but my head couldn’t form the words. I finally gave up trying to explain my action, my hurtful words, and simply uttered, “I love you.”
I glanced at the clock on the dresser and it was now 5:30, I had exactly thirty minutes to get showered, dressed and out the door. I hadn’t heard Samael’s voice the whole time, and I wondered why he was being on such good behavior. As I turned on the shower my luck ran out. Samael said, “That was Divine. Is your sex always so lively? My God, if I could have sex like that, I would never leave the bedroom!”
“Listen, Jackass, it’s because of you that I haven’t seen Lauren much the last three years. How about you give it a rest?”
“I know, I know, blame the guy that is trying to save the world. You should thank me. I can’t imagine that it would have been so spirited if you hadn’t decided to keep yourself away from her.”
“Samael, I’m not talking about Lauren with you, drop it.”
“You are mad. That was the most vigor my senses have felt in millennia. I think you should call in sick to work.”
“Damn it, Samael, enough!”
Lauren’s voice echoed through the closed door, “Did you say something, Max?”
Samael’s voice responded in my head, “Only that you are more perfect than Aphrodite.”
I knew I needed to answer her, “No, just singing.”
“I know you’re in a hurry, but when will I see you again?”
I turned off the water and could feel Samael’s excitement. I took a deep breath and opened the door standing there in my towel. “Lauren, what I said this morning about my head being all jacked up, I meant it. Don’t get me wrong, this was a pretty spectacular surprise, but I really need to sort some things out before we pick back up where we left off.”
The look on Lauren’s face was hurt, but bad news never gets better with age. I needed to find a way to exorcise Samael from me before I started seeing Lauren again regularly. He wasn’t right about very much, but he was right about her having experienced more pain in the last three years than any person should experience in an entire lifetime. I didn’t want there to be a possibility of Samael doing anything to her again.
Samael had been very good the last couple days, but something about my encounter with Lauren had invigorated him. His thoughts were loud in my mind: Don’t send her away on my account. You’re being overly protective for no reason. I cannot even take control of your pinky finger, what do you think I’m going to do to her?
Lauren nodded. I knew she didn’t understand and there was no way to tell her why we needed to keep our distance. She gave me a soft embrace and made her way silently for the door. I stood paralyzed in my bedroom, willing my body not to go after her. I heard her van driving away and finally allowed myself to breath. I finished getting ready for work and left the house with no time to spare.
Chapter 33
I got to work to find Randy standing in the parking lot. I still had fifteen minutes before my shift, so I assumed he wasn’t waiting on me. I gave him a courtesy nod and a quick wave with little attention.
In an over-friendly tone he called, “Hey, Max, glad to see you. You’re a little early. Can we catch up real quick?”
I shrugged my shoulders, not opposed to speaking with him, but my encounter with Lauren was fresh on my mind, and Samael had given up interjecting, so it felt almost as though I had her to myself.
“So, we didn’t expect to see you back. I was so surprised yesterday when you walked through the door looking for your old job, I forgot my manners. How’ve you been?”
“Good, getting back into the swing of things. It’ll take me a few days to get back into my nocturnal routine.”
Randy chuckled, a little louder than was necessary. He seemed a little nervous. “Good, glad to hear you’re … adjusting. Say what do you think of your partner?”
“Dale’s okay. We didn’t talk much, but he seems to know what he’s doing.”
“Good, not many around from the old crew. Wanted to make sure someone as talented as you didn’t get stuck with someone you didn’t want to work with.” Randy was horrible at small talk. He must have something on his mind; he couldn’t really have called me over for this.
I looked at my watch now with fourteen minutes before my shift. Keeping this up wit
h Randy would be the equivalent to piercing my eyelids – useless and painful. “Alright, well it was good talking to you, I’m going to head in and see about a quick turnover so maybe we can spring the off-going fellas a couple minutes early.”
I turned away and was two steps into my escape when Randy asked, “So, do you hear much from Lauren? You were quite an item for a while, right?”
That was odd? But I guess Lauren was a bit of a celebrity for a time. She stopped a robbery by stepping in front of a little kid just as the guy pulled the trigger. She saved that kid’s life that day and had been all over the news for it. Randy actually introduced himself to Lauren and me shortly after the incident. “I just saw her before I came to work. I’ll tell her you asked about her.”
I saw that he seemed pleased, and I turned back toward the door. When I reached for the handle, another paramedic opened it into me. I was startled but so was he. We introduced ourselves. He was one of the off-going guys, Robert. “It sure is great to meet you. Your timing is great by the way. Dale’s partner quit, and I was going to have to cover half of last night’s shift until you appeared out of nowhere.”
“Well then, I guess I picked the opportune time to go job hunting. If I’d have known, I might have held out for more money.”
Robert gave me a quick rundown of their calls for the day; looks like it had been pretty slow. They had spent most of their day moving patients from emergency rooms to other hospitals. Dale and I weren’t so lucky. Within thirty minutes we were racing up I-26 to a multi-car accident near North Charleston. Three ambulances were on the scene, and it was gory enough that I had a quick flashback to a roadside bomb that had exploded in Afghanistan. I quickly filed the images from Afghanistan away in the back of my mind and helped the people in front of me.
We stayed pretty engaged most of the night, and it wasn’t until nearly three a.m. that we had time for a bite to eat. Eating out of vending machines is never my favorite, but that time of night is too late for Taco Bell and too early for Dunkin’ Donuts.
Destiny's Revenge (Destiny Series - Book 2) Page 20
