by Emjay Soren
“Oh my God, I love her name.” London said under her breath, so softly I'd barely heard.
“Thanks, I guess.” I said. I looked at Miss Omigod and cringed. I had watched for only the few minutes here in this room, but it was clear these immortal men coddled her. She probably got her way around here by batting those expressive eyes and giving a little shake of her tight ass. Jezzi had been like that. It was a trait I had longed to own and never had the chance. I had been so self-indulged in building my life, that I had completely missed out on living it.
“You were calling him Spike?” She flipped her thumb towards Cash and laughed, giving him a sexy smirk. It garnered a smile in response. It was the first time I'd seen him smile. It was nice.
“So now that we all know one another let’s move on.” I said, looking to Leushus. “You say that I came back from the dead because London did?”
“I’m assuming.” Leushus crossed his arms and nodded.
He filled me in on the events that lead to my death, up to the part where they'd all left Bliss, leaving me dead on the floor. That didn't bother me as much as what he said next. “Darcallion told me that you chose to work at Bliss, that you were dating some drug dealer.”
I felt my temper flaring. “That's bullshit. Like I told Preacher earlier I may have smoked a little weed and tried coke a few times but I had goals and plans for my future. I would never get involved with a guy like that.” I took a deep breath and tried to calm my now eratic heart. “Even if I had been there by my own free will I don’t see how it's any of your business. Regardless of my occupation at Bliss or anywhere for that matter, it didn’t give them the right to abuse me. I don’t know what you think you know about me based on your lack of information and obvious need to judge, but let's get on with it; let me hear what you think of me before I school your arrogant ass on what really happened.”
Preacher shifted uncomfortably beside me, but I wasn't going to sit idly by and allow Leushus to make false assumptions about things he knew nothing about.
“Leushus lacks the decorum that most people are taught from a young age. He tends to be aggressive first and then soften after time.” London's voice held a chastising tone, letting Leushus know his approach to the conversation had been less than appropriate. I didn’t need her defending him though, not after the accusation in his voice.
I sat on the giant bed in the center of the room and took in my surroundings. The bed was the commanding centerpiece of the room. The bed coverings were rich, in dark blues and browns that went well with the dark wood. There was a picture on the wall, a painting of Jesus standing over a man and a boy upon a rock. I recognized the scene. I didn’t know much about biblical stories, but I knew the tale of Abraham. It seemed weird to see a vampire’s room. I had assumed they slept in coffins. I never would have assumed that they had bedrooms, let alone bedrooms with pictures of Jesus on the walls.
I waited for Leushus to respond to me or London. I looked around the room, half expecting him to bite. But he just smiled at me like he knew the truth, even if I didn’t think he did.
“What about you?” Cash asked breaking the silence in the room. His tone so much friendlier then before. “Preacher said you told him the rest was history after you left with Conlin.”
I nodded not wanting to go into the details.
“Well what happened? Did he throw you in a dungeon? Shackle you to a wall? What?”
“Cash, Jesus, enough!” London snapped at him. He rolled his eyes only igniting her anger more.
“Well what the fuck are we doing then? I want the details, I want to know we haven’t missed a big fuckin’ piece of the puzzle!”
They all started arguing at the same time. London was mad at Cash’s demanding tone and the way he'd rolled his eyes at her. Preacher wanted him to give it a rest for "one ‘bleedin’ night" and Leushus wanted them all to just shut the hell up.
“He raped me.” I blurted, just wanting them to stop talking.
London gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth tears forming in her eyes immediately. Cash cursed under his breath and turned to his girl, pulling her close. She was visibly upset by my announcement though I wasn't sure exactly why. “He raped you too didn’t he?” I asked thinking this was the most logical reason for her reaction.
“No little Bird, he didn’t rape her.” Preacher removed his ball cap and pocketed it before linking his fingers behind his neck, arms extended he provided me yet another view of his impressive physique. “Conlin is London’s brother.”
“Oh.” It was all I could say.
“I am so sorry Tavern.” She was crying. This beautiful girl was crying because of what her brother was capable of. I didn’t need apologies though; I needed a moments peace and freedom from the fucking curse that was Bliss.
“Not your fault just life I guess.” I spoke coldly.
“I didn’t know he was my brother until after Cash and Preach came looking for me. I had been bred for Bliss. Conlin and I have naturally high serotonin levels in our blood and the chemical was drawn from me over my entire life. What I thought was routine testing for my father’s company was actually marking the fate of the drug.” She wiped under her eyes and let Cash console her. It bothered me and I didn’t know why, that she was crying over this. I wasn’t in tears, so I didn't get the waterworks from Miss Immortal USA. “If you ever need to talk about him or what he did to you, please know that I'm here.”
“Thanks I’ll remember that.” I nodded.
She must have caught the annoyance in my tone because her gaze lingered, like she was trying to figure me out. Preacher, sensing my unease, started stroking up and down my back with one hand.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you......" I cut her off before she could finish. I'd had just about enough.
“Your tears offend me. Everything about you offends me on a personal level.” I didn’t recognize my own voice, suddenly so angry. I wanted to hurt her so she felt as shitty as I did.
“I said I was sorry.” She scoffed. Like her apology makes up for the last year and a half of my life, yeah right.
“I know, and I understand why you would apologize, but I can’t seem to see past dying.” I knew it wasn’t rational. She hadn’t known me then, and it was my life for Preachers. In the last four hours he had treated me with more respect and kindness than anyone had my entire life, outside of Jezzi. I understood her saving him. That didn’t mean it didn’t suck knowing I was disposable. I was furious and hurt because I hadn’t mattered more than her back then. They left me on that floor without so much as a glance to see if I was still alive. They didn’t know that the Cado had ripped me from one hell, just to drop me into another. Fuck her and the rest of these guys too. I was.......
“What?” Leushus cut off my internal rant staring me down. “Go back in your mind and rethink that final thought.”
“I don’t know what you think you heard.” I say through gritted teeth. I was trying to breathe deep, but this only incensed me further. My thoughts weren’t safe either. Jesus Christ!
“About the Cado. You said they ripped you from one hell to drop you in another one.” He was ignoring the peanut gallery behind him as Cash, London and Preacher were all asking questions. “Enough!” Leushus stormed, and the room went still and quiet.
He turned to look at the three of them all glaring at me, even Preacher. I didn’t expect that. I thought he would be able to see where I was coming from. Apparently not. Maybe Cash, Preacher and ‘Cookie’ were all an item and I'd just yelled at the Queen Bee. Leushus laughed and looked at me. “You have stones that’s for sure, but you’re wrong about that.” Looking back at them he warned, “I won't ask again. In fact," he said, aggravated, “get out. I want to speak with Tavern alone.”
They didn’t argue but ushered quietly out the door like a group of children caught in their parent’s room. What made the scene most intriguing though, was that they were apparently very intimidated, maybe even a little frightened, by this
guy who appeared more young-male-model than bad-ass-angel.
“I do intimidate and frighten them. They know what I’m capable of.”
I laughed, liking Leushus more and more. “I like you too.” He said and offered a genuine smile. “Tell me about yourself.” He took up space on Preachers bed, stretching his arms over his black Affliction t shirt and crossing his legs that were covered by a pair of American Eagle worn out jeans. The guy was the male version of London. They were way too pretty to be in my presence.
His brows drew in as if he'd tasted something foul. “Why are you so down on yourself?”
“Have you not been paying attention?”
“Yes but I’m not sure who I’m talking to right now. There are two sides of you, and I don't know what to think.” He was so calm, relaxed even, laying on Preachers bed, feet propped up and arms behind his head. He looked like he was watching TV, not leading a vampire army.
He sat up shaking his head. “What?” I asked.
“Well there's this negative side to you, it’s like your subconscious. You think horribly of yourself. But then there's this fighting side, the aggressive side, like you gave London a few moments ago. You fight for yourself and don’t show weakness, except when you’re berating yourself or looking down at the floor in shame. I’m guessing it’s been imbedded in your skull to try and go unnoticed, and that tells me that with what you've been through, you're smart.”
I scoff because it’s ridiculous. “I was about to start my senior year at UNLV. I had survived three of my four years on a full ride scholarship. I never fucked up, ever, until that night. All of my previous experiences were well thought out plans. I had never been sporadic a day in my life. I bow my head when I’m scared. For months at Bliss I wasn’t allowed to look anyone in the eye. I learned real quick how to survive, and it still did me no good. I was nothing more than collateral damage.” I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at the floor. “Thrown away.”
I didn’t say anymore. If he wanted the truth, he could read my mind for it.
“Until that night with Conlin, you had hope.”
I felt tears burn my eyes and nodded. He didn’t say anything about my tears. He understood, and he just let me sit there crying. Just like Preacher had.
Chapter Nine
Preacher
They had been in there for hours and I was beyond antsy wondering what they could possibly be talking about for that long. It was almost sunrise and I hadn’t even gone to my dealer to get my hash. I had to make do with some of Cash’s Jim Beam. He and Cookie went to bed and I sat there alone, drinking his whiskey and confused as hell.
If I was honest with myself, something that didn't happen very often, then I would admit that the girl got under my skin. I was attracted to her, but it went deeper than that. I liked her. When she'd verbally attacked Cookie my first reaction was to back my Cookie and let the girl have it, but as the tirade went on I could see her points. They were similar to the fights I was having with Cash about her.
I was confused by the whole thing really. My body and mind were trying to get on the same page, but I was fighting it. I hadn’t slept with a woman I cared about since Emme. I felt like I was betraying her by giving in to my needs as a man and getting to know Tavern. I knew that I couldn’t love her, not how she would deserve, and I couldn’t promise her a damn thing that would make her want to fuck me anyway, but there it was. I wanted in her panties, and I wanted the option to walk away in the end.
I couldn’t take sitting here anymore and stood to head back to my room. There was one blunt left in my tobacco box and I was craving it. Maybe Leush had left and she was asleep. Leushus wasn’t a talker, so I couldn’t see what he might have been saying for the last four hours.
I knocked on the door and when I heard nothing, I entered, pausing at the sight before me. Tavern lay curled on her side in my bed, sound asleep. Leushus stood beside the bed, one hand on her head while the other played solitaire on his iPhone. When he saw me he lifted his hand slowly and she started to stir. He put his hand back on her head and she fell back into a restful place.
“Are you forcing her to sleep?” I whispered and he shook his head.
“Keeping her calm so she can. She’s been through hell, and I just wanted her to have some peace.” He whispered and stroked his thumb along her brow, soothing her like a child. This is why Leushus, though a smart ass, was an angel. His compassion was worthy of the title.
He rolled his eyes at what I thought of him. Didn’t matter though, Leushus and I had a common respect for the Lord between us. He understood my anger, but he also understood my compassion and my own sacrifices.
“She’s going to wake soon, but I want to talk to you first.” He whispered but made no move to leave her.
“Here?”
He nodded. I was fine with the talk, but I was smoking, end of subject. He didn’t care either way, and as I lit the bifter I could feel my tensions ease. “What’s up? What did you hear that pissed you off so bad we had to leave?”
He shook his head no again. “It wasn’t that I was mad by her thoughts. I was disgusted by you guys.”
Whoa, what? “Really, and what did we do?”
“You claim to have compassion, and I know it’s there Preacher, I've seen it time and time again. You and Cash and London refused to see what she was upset about.”
I shook my head, inhaling the smoke off the bifter, “I knew why she was upset. It’s the same damn thing I told Cash. London, God bless’er, she couldn’t see past her own perfect nose. I get the girl's pissed, but apologies aren’t gonna fix it. Hell, I feel just as awful as Cookie. It was my life she was saving by taking Tavern's.”
Leushus turned his back on me as I took another long drag. “I can make you listen if I have to Preacher, but I would like you to choose to do so.”
Obviously, so would I. “Of course. I’ll listen to anything that can bring resolve and make this whole situation easier.”
He was shaking his head again. Then, like I hadn’t just agreed to talk it out, Leushus one upped me and forced the last four hours down my throat, or into my mind more figuratively.
I saw her talking to us; I could see my face changing from supportive to angry as she snapped at London. I could see myself making the choice to back Cookie, then listen to my little Bird. I could see Leushus watching me, waiting for me to make my choice, see his face the instant I dropped my hand from her back and stood beside Cookie and Cash. And then I heard her thoughts, heard why she was angry and …. oh bleedin’ hell, we all do suck!
*
Leushus left an hour ago, and I still sat here on the edge of the bed exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. The images Leushus had given me were a roar in my mind, replaying like a broken cd on repeat. She was so upset that I went to Cookie, hell she thought we were a threesome for bleedin’ sake. She thought I was beautiful and that I was worth saving, her life for mine.
I was such an arse.
There was one reason that was more upsetting to her than the others though, and this was the one that was hardest for me to stomach. We had left her behind. In the haste to save London and me, she was left behind. Her words, "collateral damage", kept rolling through my mind. I cursed the daylight in times like these. I needed a fight, needed to be reminded of why it mostly made sense.
My thoughts were interrupted by a deep sigh beside me. I looked down into the most perfect brown eyes I had ever seen. She was much more different now from the girl on the floor begging Cookie to drink her in. She was wiser and harder than that girl. “Hi.” She said, the sleepy tone of her voice made me hard. She arched her back and stretched her body, my eyes looking at every pale inch of her when her moan of pleasure pulled me back to the task at hand.
I cleared my throat and stood. “Hi.”
“What time is it?”
I looked at the clock on my nightstand and tried to think of anything but her little body in my big t-shirt. “Six-thirty in the mornin’.”
&n
bsp; “It’s not like 2016 is it?” She asked jokingly, but I catch the nerves behind her laugh.
“No, it’s still 2013. You were only asleep a few hours.” I walk to the dresser and flip open the lid to my tobacco box, searching for the other half of my blunt. My hands are shaking, and I don’t know if it’s my need for the weed or if she's making me nervous.
“Why do you smoke weed?” She asks and lays back down curling into my bed. I cannot analyze what seeing her laying in my bed is making me feel right now.
“It helps keep the Infatuation at safe levels. Also, if we are feeding, it keeps us in control so the blood high won’t consume us in a way that would make us kill needlessly.”
She looked horrified, and I had to admit it didn’t sound good. “I’m not in bloodlust, or ready to feed right now if that’s what’cha think. Just a bit of habit really these days.”
“Why do they call you Preacher?”
I smile now and laugh a little. “You’re mighty full of questions tonight.”
She shrugs her delicate shoulders and tucks my blankets under her chin. “You have to admit it’s a strange name.”
“Like Tavern?” I ask playing with her because she is so damn cute.
She nods and blinks those whiskey eyes and I feel myself looking for a way to end the conversation so I can leave. She is killing me being so sweet and soft and tender. The vampire inside of me wants her badly and I was beginning to wonder if I was man enough to resist.
She gave another shrug, “I admit my name is strange, but in all fairness my father owned a bar called Madley Tavern. It had been in the Madley family for two generations, and was a pretty popular pub. He met this beautiful woman who played the piano and wrote music for a local band who happened to be playing his bar that night. Fast forward nine months when my mother dropped me off and never came back, he named me what he knew.”
“Really?” It sounded crazy, but then again I was a vampire preacher.
