She did not have long to wonder. She had only been in her room long enough to wash up and brush her hair when her phone rang and Derek's voice said curtly, "I want to see you in my suite, Terri, as soon as possible."
Sighing, she said, "I'll be right there."
He answered her knock immediately and gestured for her to enter. She glanced about, seeing no one else. As she had feared, they were alone. Derek walked to a side table and poured a small amount of whiskey into a glass. "Will you join me?" he asked, turning to look at her steadily.
"No, thank you," she said, still standing just inside the door.
Carrying the whiskey, Derek sauntered to the center of the room and took a sip of his drink. "Come on in, Terri. I'm not going to thrash you, although I admit I am sorely tempted."
She came forward a few steps with obvious hesitation, and Derek added impatiently, "Sit down."
She perched on the edge of a chair, wishing she could rid herself of the peculiar feeling that she was hovering on the rim of a chasm.
Derek had begun to pace. "I want you to know that I spent a harrowing few hours wondering what had become of you before David, called to tell me you were on a flight back here." He stopped pacing and stood glaring at her.
Terri swallowed convulsively. "I—I didn't mean to worry you."
"Worry me!" He muttered an oath. "Terri, what came over you? Why did you leave like that?"
"I thought our work was finished there," she shrugged with forced casualness. "I felt I could accomplish more here."
His glance was instantly mocking. "Like hell you did! You've done a lot of unpredictable things, but this takes the cake! I intend to know the reason for this latest crazy impulse—if we have to stay here all night."
"If you don't want me to finish the assignment," she said, controlling the tremor in her voice as she rose to her feet and walked across to a window to stare out into the darkness beyond, "why don't you just say it and get it over with."
"We'll get to that later," he replied evenly. "Don't try to switch topics on me. I want to know what prompted your sudden departure from the Yucatán." He paused and the silence seemed to Terri even more ominous than his cold, clipped voice. "Well, Terri, I'm waiting for an answer. You knew I'd follow you, so what did you hope to accomplish by such unreasonably stupid behavior?"
She drew a careful breath. "I—I didn't think you'd return quite so soon." She was still turned away from him, staring out into the night, unable to bring herself to face his contempt.
"What is that supposed to mean?" His hands came down on her shoulders with a sudden unexpectedness that made her jump, and the next instant she found herself facing him. "Answer me!"
"You know what it means," she rasped out angrily.
"Do I?" His expression became guarded. "Tell me anyway."
"I don't feel obligated to explain anything to you!" she exclaimed, swinging away from him and heading for the door. But Derek was there before her, barring her way with a look of stubborn determination on his face that sent a shiver through her body, twanging on all her nerves.
"Terri, you won't leave here until you explain what fantastic ideas are floating through that head of yours."
There was command in his voice that she knew would not yield as she faced him for what seemed like endless, breath-stopping moments.
"All right, Derek!" she burst out. "I didn't want to stay around and watch the lovebirds bill and coo!" A brave little smile wavered on her lips. "Is that plain enough for you?"
His eyes narrowed perceptibly. "No, not quite. You will have to spell it out for me. What lovebirds?"
"You have to hear me say it, don't you?" She laughed, on the verge of hysteria. "I wasn't going to be a third wheel when you and Margarite got all cozy in the guest house!"
"My dear Terri," he said with an edge of exasperation as he relaxed his stance and leaned against the door. "I told you Margarite would be staying in the main house."
"Do you expect me to believe that?"
His eyes seemed to grow hard with a strange glittery look as he held her gaze. "Yes, I do. I've never lied to you. And if you were thinking clearly, you'd realize that Salvadore wouldn't put his fiancée in the guest house, especially when it's already occupied."
Terri's throat tightened and she swallowed with difficulty. "I—I don't understand." And, indeed, it was a moment before she could assimilate his words and make any sense of them. "Are you saying that Margarite and Salvadore—" The atmosphere in the room was heavy with confusing emotions that threatened to overwhelm Terri as she shifted her glance to the pocket of Derek's jacket, where the arrow-sharp points of a neatly folded handkerchief were just showing.
"They are engaged to be married." His voice sounded harsh as it grated into the silence. "They have been for several months."
"Then—" she stammered, still suspicious, "why were you spending time with her before we left for the Yucatán? I know you saw her, Derek—you needn't deny it."
"Yes, I saw her," he retorted, "I went to her home, in fact. And Salvadore was always there."
"But I saw you take her in your arms," Terri persisted, her tone hardening with bitter cynicism.
"What?" He frowned momentarily, and then his face cleared. "Oh, you must be talking about the evening we returned from Teotihuacán. Margarite was waiting to drive me to a restaurant where we met Salvadore. I wasn't quite clear about the location, so she came here to accompany me. As for taking her in my arms…" He smiled briefly. "I had little choice. If you knew Margarite, you would understand. She comes on like that with all men—but she's in love with Salvadore. Terri, I know there has been a lot of gossip about me and Margarite, and we did see each other a few times last year. But neither of us ever took it seriously. There could never have been anything important between us—we're too much alike. We would have destroyed each other."
Terri was looking at him, taking this all in, trying to pin down the nagging doubt that remained in her mind. Suddenly she knew what was bothering her. "Salvadore was here all the time! You took me to his plantation knowing that he was here with Margarite. You did lie to me!"
"No," he said fiercely, as his hands came up to grip her shoulders. "I may not have told you everything, but I never lied. I admit that a part of my reason for the trip was so that we could have some time alone together."
"So you could seduce me!" she returned as a last defiant gesture.
"Terri, you are beginning to sound like a broken record," he said as his arms slid down her body and locked about her narrow waist. He stared into her eyes for a moment, then lowered his head, his lips assaulting her mouth with a sudden ferocity that brought tears to her eyes. It had happened so quickly that she was given no time to defend herself. He raised his lips briefly to murmur, "I wanted to seduce you—I admit it. I still do." Then the kiss was resumed and Terri felt her will giving way. One part of her mind exulted in the knowledge that he didn't want Margarite, but another part mocked her for allowing him to use her love so ruthlessly. He wanted to take her to bed. He had been honest with her, at least. He had never pretended to love her or feel any other tender emotion.
His hands had crept beneath her knit shirt, warm and caressing, and the dissolving of her will, the melting of her very being, which she always felt in Derek's arms, was beginning. For just a moment she let herself return his kiss, her arms entwined about his neck, pressing him down to her. She allowed herself to imagine—for a few delightful seconds—what it would be like to be loved by this man.
He lifted his head and his eyes were glazed with desire. "Terri," he whispered huskily, "you are too lovely ever to be jealous of Margarite Lopez. Don't torture me any longer. Let go, and do what we both want." His lips began an even more tantalizing seduction, as they blazed a tingling trail along her cheek and down her neck, while his hands moved sensuously over her back. She closed her eyes, trying to steel herself against her own wanton desires.
With all of her being, she yearned to give in to him, to ac
cept what he could offer her. But even with all of her overheated senses crying out for satisfaction, she knew that it would not be enough. His mention of Margarite had only confirmed what she had known all along. She would be another conquest, following in the wake of the Mexican actress and in time followed by the next girl to rouse Derek's senses.
No, it was not nearly enough.
She pulled away, her breath coming in shallow gasps. "No, Derek—"
"Terri?" He looked down at her dazedly.
She had to get away, she thought wildly. She had to get away before she burst into tears and blurted out her true feelings; that would only embarrass both of them.
"I've already explained about Margarite," he said, looking at her with pleading in his eyes. "What more do you want?"
"Something I can't have," she said desperately. Then, with her confidence shattered and her lips throbbing with his kisses, she wrenched open the door and fled across the hall to her room.
Chapter Eleven
A week passed—a week during which Terri buried herself in work. The film taken in the Yucatán was processed, the contact sheets providing numerous top-quality illustrations. As for the mood Derek had wanted her to include in her photographs, she could only guess whether he felt she had lived up to his expectations.
Some of her days were spent entirely alone, as she traveled about the city in search of anything that might be a remote possibility as an illustration for Derek's books. A couple of days she was forced to spend in Derek's company, and these were particularly trying. He seemed as determined as she not to let personal feelings enter into their business relationship. A few times she caught a glimpse of his strong profile rigid with thought, which she could have sworn was centered on something besides his books.
Once, as they were climbing over some Aztec ruins, she stumbled against him and murmured a curt apology as she straightened again. The incident recalled the memories of herself in Derek's arms. For a second, as their bodies touched, there had been a sharp, undeniable reaction deep inside her, a prickle of excitement that she angrily resented.
She did not want to feel anything toward him. He had barged into her life at a time when she was vulnerable and unsure, but now she must force down any but the appropriate feelings of gratitude to him for permitting her to finish the Mexican assignment.
As the fourth week drew to a close, Mike disturbed the carefully built defenses she had constructed around her emotions with a question asked over a shared lunch in the coffee shop.
"Has Derek spoken to you yet about going to Guatemala with us?"
Except for the one time when David Almedo had brought up the subject, Derek had not mentioned again the possibility of their extending the assignment to include Guatemala.
"It's not in my contract," she replied.
Mike's expression clouded momentarily as he tried to rationalize Derek's failure to speak. "You've done a terrific job with the photography so far. Even Derek has said so."
"Not to me he hasn't," Terri said with painful honesty.
"I'm certain he will." Mike laid a sympathetic hand on Terri's arm. "Derek's not stingy with praise when it's deserved."
She shrugged. "It's not important. I'm scheduled to return to New York in two days."
"I take it you and Derek haven't come to any sort of understanding, then, and I think it bothers you more than you will admit. It's been rather obvious the last few days that you're troubled."
Terri's listless glance followed the progress of a group of bedraggled, tired-looking tourists leaving the coffee shop. They appeared to have been run through the wringer and were probably looking forward now to getting back home, where their lives could settle back into routine. Like me, she thought disconsolately, an unexpected pricking of hot tears coming to her eyes.
"Terri?"
Mike's voice sliced through her thoughts and she finally said, "You don't think I have reason to be troubled? Not being permitted to finish the Maya photographs isn't going to look good on my record with Derek's publisher, at least."
"I know he'd take you if you'd only speak to him about it," Mike said earnestly.
"Maybe, but I'm not going to ask for any more humiliation from your boss. My work here is virtually finished. I'm not going to hang around to be told to get lost."
"Don't do anything foolish," Mike begged, probably suspecting that she intended to leave without telling anyone, as she had done in the Yucatán. "At least wait until the day after tomorrow and give Derek the opportunity to ask you to come to Guatemala."
Terri shrank inwardly at the idea. "I don't think I care to be insulted one last time."
"He won't do that," Mike insisted without hesitation. "Derek probably doesn't even realize himself how much he needs you."
He needs you. Oh, if that were only true, Terri thought, her throat aching. If there was the slightest possibility that they could at least make a success of their professional collaboration, she would swallow the pride she had left and go to him and ask to be permitted to go to Guatemala. But there had been ample opportunity for him to speak to her about it, and he had not.
She managed a shaky laugh as she rose to her feet. "You're kind to say that, Mike, but I don't think I agree with you."
Her arm was gripped firmly as she passed Mike's chair. "I don't know which one of you is the most stubborn. Think carefully before you do anything you might regret, Terri."
Terri wondered at the irony of that last remark as she returned to her room. What could she possibly do that would cause any more regret than she was already feeling?
On her last evening in Mexico City, Terri ventured into the little park that she had observed so often from her hotel room. As usual, several loving couples were occupying benches or strolling arm in arm, and she couldn't help feeling as if she were intruding. But it had suddenly come to her that she would always feel that her stay in the city was incomplete if she didn't go to the park at least once, sit awhile, and see it from an inside perspective. She was grateful that the lovers in the park were so engrossed in each other that they took no notice of her.
She had been sitting on a bench for perhaps a quarter hour, absorbed in a mindless sort of reverie, when a figure stepped from the shadows and sat down beside her. She jumped, her calming, drifting thoughts shattered, and twisted about to face Derek.
Terri's hands began to shake, and she gripped the edge of the bench to steady them. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to talk to you." There was a deadly calm in his tone.
Bewildered, Terri stared at him searchingly for some moments. For days he had uttered only the barest of terse statements to her, and now he wanted to talk? Was it possible that he regretted treating her so peremptorily? If Derek was concerned about her feelings then… ! Terri gathered her scattered wits about her, clamping down on her thoughts before they became even slightly hopeful.
"What about?"
"Guatemala. I've been waiting for you to show an interest in completing the photography there, but Mike has finally convinced me that you don't intend to say a word to me about it."
During the brief silence that followed, color flushed Terri's cheeks. "Mike… you have been talking to Mike?"
"To put it more accurately, he has been talking to me."
She glanced up at him, and even in the shadowy dimness she could see the grim expression about his mouth. She turned away from him, knowing that something had to be said, yet finding it difficult to give voice to any of the thoughts that were pulling at her heart strings.
"He shouldn't have done that. I talked to Mike in confidence."
"Forget that." He sighed heavily. "It was about time somebody did some talking. You were actually going to get on that plane tomorrow without a word."
"I hadn't counted on our working together becoming so difficult," she replied carefully while her hands nervously gripped the edge of the bench.
"You still don't trust me, do you?" he demanded harshly.
His voice rip
ped through her fragile composure and she trembled inwardly with the effort to control her tears. "Oh, Derek, trust has nothing to do with it. I want to go home. I want to start to forget…"
Derek frowned heavily. "Forget everything that has happened between us, you mean?" He paused thought-fully. "Terri, if it helps, I'm sorry I tried to push you into something you're obviously not ready for."
Terri's resentment was too strong to shove down any longer. "No, I'm not ready for a casual affair. I don't think I will ever be."
A strained silence greeted her declaration and, as she raised her glance, she noticed how awfully weary he looked, the lines between his eyebrows deeply etched, the strong chin no longer jutting so arrogantly. She wanted desperately to reach out with one last tender gesture and smooth the lines away.
"Terri, is that really what you think of me?" he asked tiredly, bending over to run his hands across his face briefly before he continued. "All right, I admit I was ready to settle for that. There are more than thirteen years separating our ages—you are young and lovely and full of life. You will probably know many men before you decide to settle down. I knew all that, but I still hoped for—something."
Terri's nerves were in such a state of agitation that her teeth chattered. "Derek—" she said haltingly as she threw aside the last remnants of her pride. "I have to know how you feel about us… about me." The confession was made tremulously, desperately.
There seemed to be a new resolve in his lean body as he straightened and placed his hands warmly on her shoulders, unconsciously caressing the hollow at the base of her throat.
"Mike said… can it possibly be true… Terri, do you love me?"
"Yes," she sighed, abandoning her few remaining qualms.
"Then listen to me, darling, and believe that I have never meant anything more. I think I've loved you almost from the moment you stepped off the plane four weeks ago. I didn't know it then, of course. Do you know when I finally did know?"
Mexican Nights Page 16
