by Score, Lucy
Unintimidated, Sophie yelled back. “Yeah, I can’t think of any man who would want a woman who thought he hung the stars in the goddamn sky. Who worked her ass off making his house a home, not to mention organizing his work life so he could concentrate on something other than chaos.”
Luke swore. “You don’t understand.”
“Oh, I do understand. I just keep waiting for you to wake up and understand. You just threw away something that most people only dream about having. I can’t even talk to you right now.”
He could picture his sister pacing in exasperation. “Are you going to look for her?”
“What do you care?”
“Just — If you find her, let me know that she’s safe.” Luke hung up the phone and tossed it on the passenger seat.
He stared at the front of his house. Harper’s planters from the summer had been stowed in the garage and replaced with ropes of heavy green garland. She had asked about Christmas lights. She had never had Christmas lights before.
He had been parked in the driveway for a full ten minutes before Soph had called. He couldn’t concentrate on work so he came home. But the thought of setting foot in the house and facing the stack of boxes, all the evidence of Harper in his life boxed up and put away as if she had never been there, was enough to keep him in the truck.
When would his life be his own again?
He’d go for a run, he decided. A long, cold run to clear his mind.
***
Harper stirred at the knock on her door.
When it opened, she pulled the covers down and directed a watery smile at the tray-bearing woman.
“I made you some tea and toast,” Joni said, putting the tray down on the nightstand.
“You don’t have to go to any trouble, Joni. I’m just so grateful that you let me stay here.”
She patted Harper’s hand. “It’s nice having someone else in the house.”
“Even if they don’t leave the bed?” Harper tried to laugh, but it came out as a hiccup.
Joni handed her the sturdy mug of tea.
Harper took a sip and her eyes widened as the hot honeyed liquid slid down her raw throat.
“I hope you don’t mind that I put a little whiskey in it. It always made me feel better.”
Harper wrapped her hands around the mug and sighed. There would be no feeling better. There was only now and the ache. “This is a nice room,” she said softly. The walls were a dusky blue-green accented with ocean prints. A large window seat overlooked the backyard of the comfortable two-story.
“Thank you. It used to be Karen’s. She helped me repaint it when she moved out.”
“When she and … when she got married?” Luke’s name hurt too much to say.
Joni nodded. She sat down on the edge of the bed. “You’re a sweet girl, Harper. Everything is going to work out in the end.”
Harper bit her lip to fight back the impending flood of tears. She sniffled weakly instead and squeezed Joni’s hand.
Joni glanced around the room. “You’re not the only girl who’s cried over Luke Garrison in this room.” A ghost of a smile played at her lips.
“Karen cried over him? But they were so perfect for each other.”
“Honey, no one is perfect for anyone at eighteen.”
“Did they fight?”
“They broke up.” Joni nodded at Harper’s wide eyes. “Luke broke up with Karen a few weeks before graduation. He was joining the Guard and he wanted Karen to go to college, but she wanted to get married. He thought she was throwing her future away and ended things.”
“How did they get back together?”
“Karen enrolled in school and went out on a date with Lincoln Reed. She and Luke were back together by the next afternoon.”
“Is that why he doesn’t like Linc?”
“Oh, there’s always been a rivalry there.”
Harper remembered Luke’s reaction to Linc hauling her out of the lake and what happened later that night. Would she ever feel like that again? Desired? Craved?
Now she only felt discarded.
“So your phone, as you young people would say, has been ‘blowing up’ out there since this morning.”
Harper’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry. I should have turned it off.”
“It’s no trouble. But there may be some people worried about you.”
Harper shook her head and cleared her throat. “I just can’t. Not yet.”
“Is there anyone you want me to contact? Just to tell they you’re all right?”
Harper started to shake her head. “I don’t know. I feel like everyone here belongs to him and I don’t want to complicate that for him. I don’t want him to think that I’m trying to …”
“Turn everyone against him for being an idiot?” Joni supplied helpfully.
“Yeah, that. Pretty much exactly that.” Harper managed a shaky laugh. “I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to choose because this is his home and I’m just … passing through.” She couldn’t stop the tears this time.
Joni took the tea from her and handed her a fresh box of tissues. “Don’t ever think of the relationships you’ve built here as just ‘passing through.’ Benevolence belongs to you just as much as anyone else, and we’re all lucky to have you here.”
“I just love him so much,” Harper sniffled.
“I know you do, sweetie.”
“And I’m so sorry for bringing all of this into your house. It can’t be easy on you dealing with me, when it’s Karen who loved him first. And the only reason I’m here is because she isn’t.” She buried her face in her crumpled tissue.
Joni’s eyebrows shot up. “Harper Wilde. I’m surprised at you. Don’t you see it? Karen brought you here for Luke. You are exactly what he needs to get him to start living life again.” She fingered the fine stitches on a bright blue quilt patch. “If there’s anything that would infuriate my daughter, it would be watching the people she loved refusing to live and love again. I was doing the same thing. Hiding behind blame and guilt just trying to hold on to what was. And in doing so, I missed too many years of what is. But that’s all changing now. I’m not going to hide anymore. And eventually, neither will Luke.”
Harper nodded, but she knew she would be long gone before then. She would be in another job in another town far away. She would have another casual circle of friends who never could quite fill the hole in her heart where family should be.
Maybe it was her destiny to always be a little bit lonely. To always be hungry for love.
“You’re exhausted, you poor thing. You just rest and sleep and we’ll talk again in the morning.”
Harper nodded, her shoulders slumped.
“How about I let Gloria know you’re here? Then no one will worry, okay?”
She reached for the tea and cupped it in her cold hands. “Okay. Please tell her that I’ll talk to her later when I’m … ready.”
“You take all the time you need. You’re welcome here for as long as you want to stay.”
Harper’s eyes welled with tears. “Thank you, Joni,” she whispered.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
After three days, Harper vowed that she was done crying. She wasn’t done hurting, but her body had wrung out every drop of water through her eyes and was now barely functioning on dehydration.
It was time to get up.
She dragged herself out of the sunny cocoon of Karen’s bedroom and into the bathroom where she did her best to shower off the grief.
She wiped a hand through the steam in the mirror and stared into hollow gray eyes. “Just keep moving,” she whispered.
Back in the room, she rummaged through her bag and pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt before padding barefoot downstairs. Sophie and Gloria had visited her the day before and brought her more clothes. Harper didn’t even want to imagine how Sophie’s conversation with Luke went.
Her head ached, as did her heart. But she was on her feet. She would survive this. Somehow.
/>
She found a note from Joni on the counter.
Running errands. If you’re reading this please eat! Sandwich fixings in fridge. Ice cream in freezer.
She ignored the suggestion of food and instead grabbed a glass of water before sitting down at the dining table with her phone. Time to rejoin the world.
Her voicemail was full and a scan of the numbers in her call log indicated that Sophie had done most of the blowing up.
Another handful from Gloria, several from work, and a few from Aldo, Beth, James, Claire, and Hannah, who likely had no idea what was happening. There were even two from Angry Frank.
She added a layer of guilt to everything else she was feeling. It had been selfish of her to shut down and shut out. She had worried her friends needlessly and owed them better than that.
She would make up for it.
Starting with the night she left, there were two messages a day from him. She wasn’t ready to hear his voice or his “I’m sorry, but this is the way it has to be” reasoning, so she archived them and listened to the rest.
Next, she tackled the texts and then moved on to emails. There was a lot of work to catch up on and handling it from Joni’s house on her phone wasn’t going to cut it.
Harper checked the time. 5 p.m. on a Sunday. The office should be empty. She’d go in and see what kind of progress she could make. Alone. She didn’t owe it to him. She owed it to the rest of the team there. She’d get them back on track before moving on.
Joni’s house was farther from the office than she was used to, and she made the trip unnecessarily longer by taking a less direct route that didn’t pass his house. She may be ready to crawl out of her bed cocoon, but that didn’t mean she was interested in pouring salt in fresh wounds.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she found the office dark and locked. Safe.
She locked herself inside and leaned against the door. Refusing to look into his office, Harper immediately decided to shift the position of her desk. There would be a new focus for her remaining days here.
Satisfied with her new view through the window — her back to the empty office — she got to work.
There were a few new invoices to enter and payroll to do for next week’s checks. She was working her way through staff and client emails when her phone signaled a text.
Luke.
Frank says you emailed. Are you at the office? Can we talk?
Her stomach churned and she shoved her phone in a drawer. How would she ever be able to look at him when she could barely read the words he wrote?
She had to leave Benevolence. There was no way around it. There couldn’t be any running into him at Remo’s or on the jogging trails. She wouldn’t survive it.
She knew what she had to do.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Two weeks notice
Please accept this email as my two weeks notice. I will be leaving Garrison Construction on December 15. Until that time I plan to start my workdays at 6 p.m.
Please don’t be in the office when I’m here.
She hit send and closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. “Just keep moving,” she whispered to herself.
Her phone started ringing from the drawer. She slid it open a crack and saw his name on the screen. Harper snapped the drawer shut and got up to pace. Part of her wanted nothing more than to hear his voice saying her name, but she knew the only way to get through this was without contact.
Her desk phone rang and she rolled her eyes. The only thing he could possibly want to say to her is that he didn’t want her working her two weeks. Well tough crap, Garrison. This isn’t about you. She had a job to do and people depending on her.
Harper’s cellphone dinged. A new text message from Sophie.
Did you just email Luke? He got up from the table so fast he knocked over his water. Now he’s pacing Mom’s front yard swearing and dialing like a mad man.
Harper felt her lips curve just a little.
On cue, her cellphone rang again. It was him. She hit Ignore and texted Sophie back.
Just emailed my two weeks notice. Had a feeling he wouldn’t be happy about two more weeks with me. I’ll be working nights until the 15th.
Sophie responded immediately.
Almost feel sorry for the idiot. Looks like a shaggy insomniac. I think I see some gray hairs. Mom had to ask him to pass the beets three times before it registered.
Harper sighed and tucked her phone back in the drawer. She didn’t want to think of him at all, let alone the entire Garrison family gathered around the dinner table. It was the closest thing to family she ever had and the circle had closed without her.
Maybe this was all there was for her.
She turned her attention back to her computer and saw a reply from Luke.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
If you don’t answer your phone I’m coming over there now.
And another one.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
And if you leave I’m showing up at Joni’s.
Harper set her jaw. He was the one who wanted it this way.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
I respected your wishes. I expect you to respect mine. I don’t want to talk. I’m only staying on until the 15th so you can find a replacement. And as much as you would prefer to not have me here at all, you don’t know how to use the new payroll system or the database. I won’t be in your way as long as you stay out of the office when I’m here at night.
He replied within a few minutes.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Fine. Let me, or Frank if you prefer, know what you need. Are you okay?
Harper decided not to respond and went back to work.
***
From his truck Luke stared at the lone light in the window, willing a shadow to appear. He didn’t know what he was doing here. He’d bolted from his parents’ table and without so much as a good-bye had driven the five minutes to the office where he knew she was.
He hadn’t seen her in three days.
She had responded to him. After he threatened her, of course, but at least she responded. She was alive and safe. And that was enough. Wasn’t it?
He looked around the deserted parking lot. Why was he here? He ended it because he couldn’t stand to see Harper throw her life away on a relationship that would never be what she deserved.
And yet here he was, hoping for just a glimpse of her through the window.
He just wanted to make sure she was all right, he decided. Maybe then he could sleep.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. The woman was out of his life and still driving him crazy.
It was time to regain some semblance of control. He started up the truck and headed home.
***
Harper woke with a start just a few hours after tumbling into bed. She hadn’t left the office until after midnight. She was surprised at how much work she could get done without being interrupted by phone calls and visitors.
And Luke’s presence.
It was a dim, gray morning. The clouds looked like they held the promise of snow.
There was no use lying in bed thinking or pretending that she could go back to sleep. Harper got up and pulled on running tights and a fleece. She laced up her sneakers and quietly left the house. She grabbed a fuzzy headband and gloves in Day-Glo yellow from her car and hit the pavement.
Benevolence was still asleep at this pre-dawn hour. There was something peaceful about being utterly alone.
She hit her stride and changed her course to head into the park where streetlights dimly lit the path around the lake in the frosty dawn.
Aldo had called a few times to see if she wanted to go running, but she knew it would just complicate things between him and Luke. Luke
needed his life back and that included his friends, too.
She shook her head. Focus on the breath. Forget thinking. Forget him.
Her breath puffed out in white clouds in a rhythm that matched her footfalls.
It was just her and the cold morning air. Nothing else.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
He spotted her as if his thoughts had conjured her in front of him. A flash of blonde hair and cherry red sweatshirt as she crossed the path a hundred yards in front of him.
Luke stumbled in his stride and stopped. Maybe his sleep-deprived mind was playing tricks on him. Harper would never willingly be out of bed at this hour. Especially not after leaving the office so late.
Maybe he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep.
He thought about turning around, running home. And then of catching up to her and just running next to her. She shouldn’t be out alone at this hour. Why didn’t she worry about these things?
He didn’t bother asking himself why he did. He just returned to his run and turned right where he planned to go straight.
He caught sight of her at the lake and tried not to notice that it was the same spot where he came home to her just a few weeks earlier. She stood with her shoulders hunched against the cold watching the slow rise of the sun. It was just beginning to crest the trees, turning the grayed-out clouds a rosy pink.
He stopped just within the tree line. She didn’t want to see him. And he was half afraid if he talked to her he’d end up asking her to come home.
So he stayed where he was. Even from this distance he could tell she was crying. Her shoulders shook and she kept swiping her sleeves over her face.
He knew he was an asshole for putting her through this. He couldn’t help it, but he could feel good and guilty about it.
The sun broke through the trees, warming the lake’s icy waters with its pink glow. Luke watched her straighten her shoulders and take a deep breath and then another before she returned to the path and resumed her run. Her blonde ponytail swinging rhythmically behind her.
He watched until she was out of view before turning around and running home.
