by Autumn Skye
“This is going to be a good thing for you,” she said. “You’ll see. All your dreams will come true before you know it.”
“I’m not sure what my dreams are anymore,” I said.
“Sure, you do. You’re going to be the world’s top fashion designer.”
“Nadine already has that spot filled.”
“So, you’ll be number two. It’s close enough. Or maybe the student will surpass the teacher and you’ll knock her down a notch.”
“I don’t see that happening, but yeah, number two will suffice.”
“That’s the attitude. Call me and let me know how it’s going?”
“I said I would, didn’t I?”
“Okay, don’t forget about me.”
We both knew that was the opposite of what she wanted. She couldn’t wait for me to forget her. She couldn’t wait until I was a distant memory she could tell friends about, always ending the story with, “I wonder what Delia’s doing now.” I couldn’t blame her. Having fond memories of an ex wasn’t the same as having them hanging around, or in my case, hanging on.
When I rolled my car up to Nadine’s gates an hour later, I had an irrational fear the guard would send me away. Nadine’s cold reaction to our tryst at the club had me afraid she’d change her mind about hiring me now that I was homeless and it was too late to go back to my old job. The guard, however, didn’t pause a moment before waving me through. I even got a polite smile out of him this time. I parked in the driveway that veered off to the right of the roundabout and was disappointed Eva didn’t open the door to greet me immediately as she’d done my previous visit. There was something awkward about ringing the bell. I lived here, yet still felt like a guest. I, in fact, had to ring twice before Eva opened the door.
“Ms. Goldstein, I’ve been waiting for you. Let me show you up to your room. Can I take one of your suitcases for you?”
“No, they aren’t heavy, but thank you.” I’d brought two bags inside and had two more in the trunk of the Honda. The rest of my wardrobe I sent to the storage space. I had an excessive amount of clothes, but I imagine I’d be a strange designer if I didn’t.
“Come on, I’ll show you where your room is.”
She started up the staircase and I struggled to keep up with her. I was in good shape, physically, but wasn’t feeling it right then. I’d hardly slept at all the night before, only lied awake thinking about the big move and what it could mean for my future. Naturally, I’d also fought a bout of nerves over seeing Nadine again and the ramifications of living with her. If things got awkward between us, it wouldn’t be so easy to avoid her residing under the same roof. Of course, there was a lot of roof here. It probably wouldn’t be difficult to go days without running into each other if it weren’t that I worked for her and she could summon me anytime she liked.
As I tugged my suitcases up the stairs I started to wonder how Eva took them with so much energy. The older woman could run circles around me. I supposed she was used to them. At the landing, she took a left to the end of the hall and opened the door to a room much larger than I’d anticipated to be assigned. It had a walk-in closet and an adjoining bathroom. The walls were painted a cream white. The floor was mahogany. There was a full-sized bed, a bedside table and a large dresser with an oval mirror attached. The room also came equipped with a large television and a desk with a computer that looked as if it had just come out of the box.
“This room has all the basics. You can add your own décor. I thought leaving that to you might make it feel more like home,” Eva said. “Are you hungry? I could make you something while you settle in.”
“No, thank you, I’m not, but I wouldn’t mind a tour of the place. Is Nadine home?”
“She’s in her office. She said to tell you that she won’t be needing you today. I think she wanted to give you the chance to get acquainted with the place. A tour is a good idea. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say you could get lost in this house. Afterwards, your free to make yourself at home. The only room off limits to you is the master bedroom. That’s Ms. Robertson’s room, of course. It’s at the opposite end of the hall.”
“How many rooms are there between here and there?”
“Seven.”
“Could I ask a favor?” I set the suitcases on the floor.
She cocked her head, waiting for me to continue.
“Could I have the one next to this one as a work space?”
“Oh, of course. I should have thought of that. Would you like another desk and computer moved into it?”
“No, but I’ll need an artist table and a sewing machine. I’d be surprised if Nadine Robertson didn’t have a couple of those to spare.”
“Any tools you need to design and create are available here,” she agreed. “Make a list and we’ll get the room ready for you.”
“Okay, that’d be great.”
“So, are you ready for the tour?”
I nodded.
“Terrific. Follow me.”
We stepped into the hallway again and she pointed straight ahead. That far room is the master bedroom I was referring to and trust me, Ms. Robertson values her privacy,” she said in a tone full of warning.
“I respect that. I like mine as well.”
We went back downstairs where Eva showed me the home gym as if the stairs weren’t enough of a workout. It was easy to see how Nadine kept her body so taut. The workout room had any state of the art equipment I could think of and a door that led to both a hot tub and sauna. I was beginning to feel like I was checking into a resort.
“Do you like to cook?” she asked when she showed me the kitchen and dining area.
“I’m not very good at it.” I confessed.
“No? I’m up for giving lessons if you want to learn. Otherwise, you’re free to grab yourself something to eat or drink anytime and I do serve three meals a day.”
“Lovely. I eat a lot of take-out as it is.”
“Not anymore, you don’t.”
Next, she took me through the patio doors that led to the pool. It was secreted by a privacy fence nearly as tall as the iron gates. The pool itself boasted a fountain that divided the shallow end from the deep.
After guiding me through the rest of the house, including the library and entertainment room she looked at me and shrugged. “That’s all there is. What do you think?”
“It’s a beautiful home.”
“And it’s yours to relax in and enjoy until tomorrow morning. Don’t forget to set your alarm. Nadine likes to get an early start.”
“So, I can take a swim?”
“Of course, you can. Would you like me to bring you out a glass of tea, or a frozen daiquiri?”
“I can get it myself.”
“All right. Go squeeze in some fun before Nadine takes over your life. Believe me, she will. She’s a machine. You don’t get to her level of success by slacking off.”
“I don’t mind working hard. I can learn from her.”
I went up to my room and dug a bikini out of one of my suitcases. Somehow that only intensified the feeling that I’d just checked into a grand hotel, not someone’s home. There weren’t any personal touches to add a softness to the place. It was lavish, but that didn’t equal cozy. Nadine was such a fucking mystery even her home didn’t hold any clues as to who she was. The entire estate seemed painfully planned out down to the last grand detail, but nothing screamed Nadine, unless that was because she was as cold as the marble floors she paced. The way she’d treated me during our last encounter suggested that might well be the case. Maybe I’d fallen for a cold fish, plain and simple. Yet, something, perhaps wishful thinking, told me that wasn’t true. Not that it mattered, since Nadine was determined to forget about our little make-out session. I was one of the servants now, or a glorified gopher. Eva probably got more respect than I ever would. Nadine hadn’t even gone to the trouble of welcoming me personally.
A look in the mirror made me wonder if there weren’t the slightest chance that
could change? I did look good. Blue was my best color. It didn’t hurt that the bikini concealed very little. How crazy of me to yet again allow my mind to fantasize about having a fling with my boss when I should have been concentrating on amazing her with my talent and work ethics. That was the smarter avenue to take. I’d heeded her warning to move forward and pretend nothing had happened between us, but if she were tempted to pursue another encounter with me that was her choice. She couldn’t blame me.
That was my biggest and utterly wrong assumption about Nadine. She was very comfortable assigning blame whether it belonged where she laid it or not. There wasn’t much she wouldn’t do to avoid examining her own weakness. Vulnerability was her biggest fear. I didn’t know it then, but it was something we had in common.
Chapter Ten
Nadine
That little vixen. She arrived little more than an hour ago, and there she was frolicking around my pool wearing the sexiest swim suit I’d ever seen, so sexy I couldn’t see the point of her wearing anything at all. Yes, that was an exaggeration. The suit wasn’t all that skimpy, at least not by some standards. I’d seen models wearing less, even those modeling my own summer line. It was her body so perfectly accentuated that made her exquisite to watch, or spy on if I were completely honest. Her long lean legs and her creamy thighs, along with her firm breasts about to fall out of that top, were captivating. Her presence was uncomfortable, unbearable to me. She couldn’t be here. This couldn’t work.
“Why don’t you put on a suit and go out to say hello? Shouldn’t you two be getting to know each other better?” Eva asked.
I jumped, startled at being discovered peeking out the patio doors, spying on our new addition to the household. Why should I be worried about being accused of voyeurism in my own damned house anyway? Shouldn’t I be allowed to look where ever I want? There was a reason I rarely opened my doors to strangers. I hadn’t said one word to the girl yet and already I wanted things back to the way they were before she’d come. I’d wanted to be alone. That’s all I wanted.
So why did you invite her to move in, dumbass, I chastised myself.
“I have work to do,” I said in a sullen voice.
“You gave her the day off. Give yourself a break, too.”
“I don’t take days off.”
“I bet you wouldn’t be so cranky if you did.” Eva’s words were muttered under her breath, but I heard them loud and clear. I chose not to challenge her because I knew she never said anything she didn’t believe I needed to hear.
“Go on, Nadine. Talk business if you like, but get out there and get some sun. You’re horribly pale.”
“You’ve told me a hundred times. I’m pale and thin. I’ve got it. I’m hideous to look at.”
“I never said any such thing.”
“If I go out there will you shut up and get back to work? This house won’t clean itself.”
“I will.”
With a begrudged compliance, I went up to my room and slipped into a white one piece suit. Delia was lying in a lounge chair sipping a glass of what appeared to be iced tea when I exited the patio doors. Not the the type to get pushed into anything, I had to admit that some part of me felt compelled to be near her, despite what a mistake it probably was.
“Hello, Delia, are you doing okay?”
“Everything is fine, Nadine. Thanks for asking,” she said, putting a hand up to shade her eyes from the Texas sun as she looked up at me.
I didn’t ask if she minded that I join her before easing myself into the lounge chair next to hers. I refused to let her presence reduce me to asking permission for anything in my own home. It was a stubborn and ridiculous resolve considering she didn’t give any indication that she’d ever expected me to do that. Why was I so resentful without any cause? This whole arrangement was my idea. She was here by invitation. She hadn’t just shown up on my doorstep, bags in hand.
She turned sideways and I caught an eyeful of her cleavage. “I’m glad you came out so we can talk.”
“What do we have to talk about?”
“I’m worried you might have some reservations about me after the last time we saw each other.”
“You mean the night I told you to pretend didn’t happen.”
“Well, yes.”
“But here you are, bringing it up again,” I said with an icy snap.
“Only because I want to let you know that you don’t have to feel awkward about it. I won’t let what happened between us interfere with our business relationship. I’m all right letting it go.”
“You’re having trouble with that right now. This was already settled.”
“Yes, of course, I just wanted to say that I don’t regret it and it won’t affect my job performance.”
“I’m glad you don’t regret it. We all have regrets. You’ll have many regrets in life and I’d hate to think I’d be one of them, but I’m also ready to drop the subject-for good.”
“Me, too.”
I squeezed a liberal amount of sunscreen into the palm of my hand and spread it evenly over my arms.
“That smells good.”
“Coconut and vanilla,” I said.
“Can I have some?”
“You came out here with no sun screen? You do realize you’re in Texas, don’t you?”
“It’s one of the things I meant to bring, but forgot.”
“Here,” I offered, handing her the bottle. “Keep it. If I were you I wouldn’t spend too much time out here without it. You’ll burn fast.”
“I was under the impression I’d be working so many hours I wouldn’t have the chance to come out here too often.”
“Good point, but I’m seriously not that bad. I am demanding, but not unreasonable. You’ll have some free time. I’m addicted to my work. I do realize, however, that not everyone is the same as me. I’m far too driven at times. It’s my worst, yet most profitable flaw.”
“I’m addicted to my work as well. I hope I didn’t say anything to make you think I can’t keep up. I can. I will.”
There was that determination again, the thing that allowed me to see glimpses of myself in her. She’d been so shy and out of sorts the night we’d first met, but she was able to reach inside herself and pull up the ambition she needed to succeed when she forced herself to do it. I admired that, but I didn’t like the way she was speaking to me, on this personal level. Did she believe we’d shared something intimate enough to warrant her dwelling on one encounter? We hadn’t. We’d made out in a public bathroom, a purely physical thing. It did not make us friends. It did not give her a license to throw it in my face whenever she felt like chattering on about it. Already having her here was proving to be an annoyance, yet I didn’t want to tell her to go. If I could have made those words come out of my mouth she’d have been gone before she’d even arrived.
“Can I share something with you?” she asked with wide, vulnerable eyes.
“Apparently, I couldn’t stop you if I tried. You seem quite capable of speaking your mind.”
“It’s just that my life wasn’t going so well before I met you. I’m thrilled to be here. I don't have many friends. I think I might have just lost one, honestly.”
“Well, don’t think you’ll replace her with me. I’m your boss, not your friend. I’m sure not interested in having any pajama parties,” I said, mentally kicking myself for being so harsh.
“No, I didn’t assume you would be,” she said in a defeated voice.
A moment ago, she’d been opening up to me like an old confidant. Now she looked like I’d driven a knife into her. I fought an urge to lean in and pull her close to me. I couldn’t do that. Once I had her in my arms it would be over. I’d melt and she’d be in control. I didn’t believe that was her intention, but it didn’t make her less dangerous.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been rude, Delia, but it’s important that you’re very clear on where we both stand. I’m not looking for a companion. I did my best not to mislead you. I apologize if I faile
d.”
“I’ve obviously crossed a line and on my first day, too.”
“I crossed it first. It was a mistake. As I said before, it will not happen again.” After a pause, I added, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going back inside. It isn’t too late for me to get some work done.”
“Nadine, you don’t have to go,” she said.
“Of course, I don’t. I never have to do anything. That’s the beauty of being so insanely rich. Stick with me and you’ll find out for yourself someday,” I smirked, dangling a carrot. Yes, I was emotionally distant, damaged even, but I could turn her dreams of fame and fortune into a reality. That surely counted for something.
She nodded with a stiff smile.
After a pause, I said, “I’m sorry about your friend, the one you lost. Were you very close?”
“She was the love of my life. She left me. She thought I cared more about my work than I did her, but she was wrong.”
“Or, perhaps she was right. Some people aren’t cut out for love. We just aren’t. We’re selfish and driven and our lives are a series of trade-offs. There are people who believe you can have it all, but I don’t.”
“You don’t think so?”
“I know you can’t. I tried it once. Let me ask you this. Can you see yourself giving up designing if it meant you could have your friend back? Would you quit and leave right this minute if that’s all it took to get her?”
She pursed her lips together as she mulled over my question. “I guess not.”
“Then she did you a favor.”
I left her there and walked swiftly inside. Eva was still dusting the living area when I entered.
“How did that go? You weren’t out there very long,” she noted.
“I shouldn’t have been out there at all. It went horribly wrong and I blame you.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” she mumbled.
In my office, I set up a conference call with my New York manufacturers for the next morning and looked over the design samples they’d emailed me. My fall line was supposed to be released in three months, but we were still discussing, or rather arguing, production cost while I should have been hard at work on next spring’s line. This is where Delia could save me a lot of headaches if she were as good as I thought she was. It wasn’t as if I’d never used designers other than myself. I hadn’t been a solo act in a long time. I required an assistant who could cut it. Tomorrow, I’d find out what she was made of when I put her to task. We’d had our little talk. Tomorrow would be strictly business. That was my intent, anyway, but when did anything ever go accordingly to plan?
