by KC Burn
“You want to take the truck back now?”
“Uh, yes. That was the plan.”
“Let me grab my keys and I’ll follow you.”
“I thought you were going to have a shower.” The temperature in Pasadena might be mild—a typical day in early October, or so he’d heard—but they’d worked hard and they were both sweaty messes. Well, Jez was. Somehow Hayden still managed to look merely disheveled and all kinds of delicious.
“That can wait.”
This felt like a trick. Or perhaps his paranoia was getting the better of him. The whole reason he was here was because Miguel wasn’t a dick, so it stood to reason his friends weren’t either. Jez wasn’t about to base any decisions on the character judgment of his horny twelve-year-old self. Even his twenty-five-year-old self was suspect in that regard, based on Jayson Bain, his last choice for a boyfriend and the poster boy for self-hating closet dwellers. But he was also basing his life and safety on the judgment of an older brother he hadn’t laid eyes on in eight years. He wasn’t sure if Hayden had figured out Jez was gay—not that he did much to hide it anymore.
He also wasn’t sure if Hayden had held on to the hidebound conservatism that had dogged their tiny hometown or if he’d adopted the more liberal and open-minded attitude of LA. Once he’d figured out how shitty being openly gay in Willow Ridge would be, he’d wondered, just for a moment, if that was why Hayden had left so abruptly. Rumors abounded about Hayden being gay, but Jez had heard just as many about some chick in Sacramento he’d knocked up, then run from to avoid a shotgun wedding. Jez just had to trust that Miguel wouldn’t drop him in a situation where his actual safety was in jeopardy. If they had being gay in common, surely Miguel would have mentioned it.
He hadn’t quite known how to interpret the heated looks he’d gotten when Hayden first presented himself. He’d been groggy from his nap, but he’d thought Hayden had been checking him out and liking what he saw. But then all he’d seen was anger. Stupid to think it could be anything else.
Jez turned, and the sincerity on Hayden’s face convinced him. “Sure. That would be great. Thanks.”
THE THICK, awkward silence in Hayden’s truck made the fifteen-minute drive time seem a lot longer. Or it might have been his paranoia and exhaustion talking. Jez didn’t recall Hayden being chatty, so maybe silence was normal. It didn’t help that Jez couldn’t stop sneaking glances at Hayden’s angular jawline, muscular arms, and strong hands as he deftly steered his truck through the residential Pasadena backstreets. If he thought Miguel would tell him for sure, he’d ask if Hayden was also gay. A few things his brother had said over the years had made Jez suspect that might be the case, but his first look at Hayden the man had convinced him his suppositions were wrong. Not that gay men couldn’t be built like Hayden, but Jez wasn’t that lucky. Even if Hayden was gay, undoubtedly he’d be a self-hating closet dweller.
Jez sighed. Then again, a garden-variety closeted jerk might be a step up from his last boyfriend. Either way, getting comfortable in Hayden’s house wasn’t likely, and Jez planned to be long gone before familiarity smoothed away any of his self-preservation instincts. A man who didn’t like dogs wasn’t to be trusted.
Hayden’s place, like half of the houses on the street, had no driveway, so Hayden pulled to a stop in front of the house. Seemingly unconcerned by Jez’s silence, he nevertheless paused after turning off the ignition. Jez froze in the midst of reaching for the handle and waited.
“I’m going to take a shower, but then I thought I’d order in some pizza. Any allergies or toppings you don’t like?”
A muscle twitched in Jez’s jaw even as his stomach grumbled in yearning. He didn’t want to alienate his new roommate on the very first day, not if he could help it, but Jez was fucking exhausted. He needed a shower of his own and some cuddle time with Fang—after the pup did his business. On the other hand, Jez hadn’t eaten since leaving Kingman, Arizona, over eight hours earlier, had no interest in trying to grocery shop, and hadn’t had pizza in a long time. Maybe he deserved a bit of a treat.
“Thanks. That sounds good. Except. Um. I’m vegan.”
A tiny grin lifted the corners of Hayden’s mouth as he nodded. “Well, you picked a good city to move to. I’ll find a place with vegan pizza that delivers.”
Jez sucked in a deep breath. “Thanks, Hayden. For everything.” Despite his fears, he was grateful Hayden had agreed to open up his home, and the offer of pizza was beyond what Jez expected.
“Any time, Jez, any time.”
Hayden’s voice rang with sincerity, but Jez had been fooled before. However, making nice was only wise, and Jez didn’t want to live where he had to be wary of his roommate the whole time.
They got out of the truck and headed for the door. Hayden handed him a key on a ring with a red fire engine, making Jez grin.
“I almost forgot. Opens the front and back doors. I don’t have a security system, but neither do I leave the doors unlocked. The area is pretty safe, but I’m friends with some cops who’d kick my ass if I didn’t take basic precautions.”
Jez cringed internally at the thought of Hayden’s police friends. He hadn’t had any great experiences with law enforcement back in New York, but he’d try not to paint Hayden’s buddies with the same brush. “Thanks.” Oooh. Hayden’s shower would give Jez ample time to sneak Fang out for a pee break, and then Jez could dash back and grab the quickest shower he’d taken in his life.
“So, I’ll meet you in the living room after showering?” Hayden asked. “We could watch a movie or something while we eat.”
A little of Jez’s elation disappeared. A movie was longer than he’d intended to spend downstairs before crashing, but he didn’t want to blow Hayden off.
“Sounds good.” Jez lingered, letting Hayden precede him up the stairs, giving him the added bonus of seeing Hayden’s spectacular ass flex in his well-worn jeans. Yeah, this was going to be a challenging time for him, both mentally and… libidinously? Was that even a word? Whatever. He was going to be horny and wary until he was in his own place, as well as worried about Fang, and he foresaw a lot of tension in the coming days.
A police siren screamed in the distance, sending Jez’s heart rate soaring. He paused on the stairs, taking deep breaths, hoping the sudden noise wasn’t going to trigger an anxiety attack. That was the last thing he wanted to explain to Hayden.
A few minutes later, he was mostly back to normal. It seemed jumping at loud noises and panicking around too many people was his new normal. The bone-deep weariness didn’t help, but if he went to sleep now, he’d be awake all night in an unfamiliar place, and that would be worse. If nothing else, at least his libido had returned to hibernation. Better for everyone if it stayed there.
HAYDEN ORDERED two pizzas because he wasn’t sure he could handle eating the meatless, cheeseless atrocity he’d ordered for Jez. Hayden ate healthy with lots of vegetables—he couldn’t afford to get chubby or he’d be less effective as a firefighter. But full-on vegan seemed overly difficult and unnecessary.
He settled down in front of the television to wait for Jez to finish with his overlong shower. Good thing the water heater was in decent shape, but taking long showers was something most Californians had gotten out of the habit of after the recent lengthy drought. The past winter had seen enough precipitation to make things less dire, but the reprieve might only be temporary. Maybe he’d mention it in passing, although he didn’t want to seem like he was scolding Jez. So far Jez wasn’t anything like he’d expected, and he’d noticed an odd twitchiness, like Jez was poised for flight, that made Hayden slightly uncomfortable. He didn’t want Miguel’s brother afraid of him. That wouldn’t be right.
His unexpected—and unwelcome—attraction to Jez had triggered an intense curiosity. He hadn’t intended to offer pizza, but unless either of them saw fit to purchase a television for a bedroom, they were going to be spending some time together in the living room. Not that Hayden spent all his off-shift days b
inge-watching TV. Not all his days. But that was a favorite way for him to unwind. When he and Miguel had days off together, they’d go hiking or camping or even drive down into Mexico. Drink too much with the guys. Watch football or baseball, sometimes even hit the games live. Clubbing when he was desperate for dick. Couldn’t be that different from what Jez did for fun, right?
But Hayden couldn’t get that unicorn shirt, the likes of which Hayden wouldn’t be caught dead in, off his mind. Did that mean they were too different to get along?
Idly flipping through the channels, Hayden waited. He hadn’t expected the pizza to arrive before Jez was finished showering, but Jez was cutting it close. He stopped on a baseball game, a repeat of one of the recent postseason ones. He didn’t follow either team, but it would kill the time. And maybe he was wrong about his assumptions. Jez could surprise him. Maybe the dude was wild about baseball.
Hayden checked the time again. Should he do a health check, make sure Jez was okay? How long was too long? What if he burst into the bathroom only to discover Jez rubbing one out in a leisurely fashion?
Unexpected waves of heat swept down Hayden’s entire body, and he shifted with discomfort. The last thing he wanted was a mental image of Jez slick with water, eyes half-closed as he stroked his hard dick.
A small groan escaped Hayden’s throat as he adjusted himself. He’d never before had any predilections toward masochism, but what else could this be? He needed to get laid. Not tonight, though, because he’d determined that tonight would be getting to know his new roomie—platonically.
The odd clanging of his old pipes signaled Jez had turned off the water, and Hayden breathed a sigh of relief. The sooner Jez showed up, fully dressed, the sooner Hayden could stop thinking about his lean, naked, wet body.
Dammit!
Hayden shoved himself off the couch and stalked into the kitchen to grab a couple of beers to go with the pizza, as well as some paper towels. Holding the two beers, he did a quick mental calculation. Yep, Jez was old enough to drink, and hopefully the cold beer would help cool down his libido. Stupid dicks. Sometimes there was just no reasoning with them.
He’d no sooner put down the beers and slumped back onto the sofa when the doorbell rang, and he sprang back up to answer it.
With pizzas in hand, he stood in the entryway, unsure if he should turn the oven on to keep Jez’s pizza hot. His own stomach was about ready to scarf down anything—up to and including vegan pizza, which smelled every bit as good as his own. If Jez didn’t show up soon, his instincts for politeness were going to fail and he was going to dig in.
The floorboards in the upstairs hall creaked, the sound of a person approaching the staircase. Hayden grinned—decision made. He took both pizzas into the living room and dropped them on the coffee table.
The stairs creaked like Jez was either treading tentatively or trying to be silent, but this old house was never truly silent. And if Hayden had never had any luck sneaking past Gran, Jez didn’t have a prayer. Jez didn’t have Hayden’s motivation to hook up without spelling things out for his gran. She’d been understanding and supportive in a way his parents hadn’t been, but that didn’t mean Hayden had felt comfortable sailing past her room saying, “I’m going out trolling for cock, back in a few hours!”
An uncomfortable sensation swept through him. Would Jez bring back dates? Hayden couldn’t say no, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about sharing living space with someone who had a sex life. If Gran had had a sex life while she was still alive, she’d been super stealth about it—for which Hayden’s psyche would be forever thankful—but he’d never lived with a roommate. It wasn’t the same as bunking with another guy during his training or napping at the firehouse.
Would he be able to… hear things? Would he be able to hear Jez have sex? The reverse wouldn’t be true, because Hayden never brought hookups home.
Hayden had definitely not thought things through, because thinking about Jez’s sex sounds wasn’t doing anything to cool him off from the shower montage.
With a full-on shiver, Hayden forced all inappropriate thoughts away just as Jez showed up.
“Doing okay?”
“Yeah, sure. That’s a good shower.”
“The water pressure is good for an old place.” Hayden refrained from rolling his eyes. Why on earth was he talking to Jez about fucking water pressure?
Jez nodded, clearly wondering the same thing.
“Pizza’s here.”
Jez cracked a smile. “I see that.”
Hayden’s cheeks heated. More stating the obvious. Next he’d be telling Jez the sky was blue and water was wet. Still, he grinned in response. “I also got you a beer.”
That got him a nose crinkle. “Sorry, I don’t drink beer.”
Didn’t drink beer? “Really?”
Jez shrugged. “Too many calories for not enough enjoyment. The pizza’s enough of an indulgence for today. I can grab myself a water.” With the same sinuous grace he’d demonstrated all day, Jez padded into the kitchen. Hayden allowed himself the briefest glance at the rounded ass stretching a pair of well-worn jeans before he made himself comfortable on the sofa, with both bottles of beer on his side of the coffee table.
He should have known better. He’d hooked up with enough wannabe actors and models to know they were all super picky about food. Hayden ate healthy, both on his own and at the station—pizza was an indulgence for him too—but he wasn’t sure he could give up beer. If nothing else, it made things simpler when he was hanging out with the guys. He’d have to take Jez grocery shopping tomorrow, because even though Hayden didn’t eat like a frat boy on a budget, he still ate meat and cheese and seafood. There wasn’t enough in the house to feed Jez for any length of time, and he’d never purchased any of the pseudoproteins a vegan might need.
Jez returned with a glass of water, and he sat down carefully at the other end of the sofa. Hayden wanted to blurt a question out into the awkward silence, about whether Jez minded if Hayden was eating meat, but he wasn’t about to give up meat in his own damned house.
“Thanks for ordering the pizza. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”
“No trouble at all.” Especially since the pizza place the firehouse ordered from had vegetarian and vegan options. A couple of the guys did make the occasional vegetarian meal or order meatless pizza without having to field too many complaints. But he didn’t think he could maintain his muscle mass and protein intake on a strictly plant-based diet. When Jez flipped up the lid of his pizza box, the “cheese” didn’t look quite right. Cashew-based products couldn’t simulate the gooey, melty goodness of mozzarella.
Settling back on the couch, Hayden flipped the TV to another baseball game, but Jez’s nose wrinkle made him sigh inwardly.
“Not a sports fan?” His question didn’t make Jez relax any, as though he suspected Hayden of passing judgment. It would prove a bit of a challenge for them to share the TV, although Hayden did have a DVR that would get more of a workout than it currently did.
Jez shrugged. “Not much. I don’t mind watching the occasional hockey game, but mostly no.”
Hayden couldn’t contain his shock. “Hockey? For a native Californian? Why hockey?” It was a sport, sure, but half the fun of the sports he watched was the personal experience in playing the game either during school or in the semiregular baseball games composed of teams made up primarily of emergency-services personnel. Hayden had never been on ice skates in his life, and he knew damned well ice-skating hadn’t been part of Jez’s formative years.
“I did spend eight years in New York. They do love hockey in the North. I also dated, briefly, a player in the minors for a team feeding into the NHL. I grew to appreciate it.”
Hayden blinked. There it was. Out in the open. What Miguel never said once, in plain speaking. Jez was definitely gay. Or bi. Gay men in professional sports existed, although the ones anyone knew about were scarce, but no women played for the NHL. Hayden might not know much about hockey, but
he knew that. Not that Hayden hadn’t had his suspicions about Jez long before he showed up on Hayden’s doorstep wearing that rainbow unicorn shirt. After all, they’d both left Willow Ridge as soon as humanly possible. The difference was that Hayden had returned home at least three times since he’d moved away, but as far as he knew, Jez hadn’t ever gone back.
“You dated a professional hockey player? What happened?” Hayden blurted out the question before he could stop himself, although he normally resisted asking intrusive personal questions in the hopes of never having to answer similar questions himself.
Jez faced Hayden for the first time since he came downstairs, eyebrow raised in surprise, either at Hayden’s intrusive curiosity or the fact that Hayden hadn’t questioned the fact Jez had dated a man.
“He wasn’t out.” Hayden heard the disappointment in Jez’s voice, clear as day. Was Jez one of those guys who thought every gay man should be out, as a matter of principle? Or was he saddened that the relationship hadn’t worked?
“That’s it?”
“No. Not exactly. But it might not have ended the way it did if he hadn’t got called up to the NHL.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Hayden returned his attention to his pizza, not sure if either of them wanted to continue pursuing this topic.
They both ate in silence for a few minutes before Jez sighed, but this time it was a good sound. “This is awesome.”
Hayden nodded, swallowing hastily so he could respond. “I’ve never had a vegan pizza from there.” Or anywhere, ever. Hopefully never. “But I like their regular pizza, so I was hoping it would be okay.”
“It is. Better than okay. Thank you.”
The slight tension dissipated as they ate, but they were still watching a baseball game. “How about a movie? What do you like to watch?” He didn’t imagine any overlap in their tastes there either, but after years of living with his gran, he could watch just about anything and find a way to enjoy it.
