by KC Burn
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jez’s voice was small and hurt. “He and Jordan were saying awful things, and even if they weren’t directed at me personally, they could have been.”
The flush got worse. “I am so sorry. Maybe it wasn’t smart, but I thought if I didn’t draw attention to it, if no one knew, then maybe no one would get hurt. Not just you, but I worried about Hayden too. If they were reminded too strongly that Hayden was also gay, they might have done something stupid. I hate every time Hayden goes out to a gay club because it scares me. I know he can take care of himself, but I’m always afraid he’s going to get bashed.”
Huh. That made Hayden feel better. Miguel needed to stop that shit, but at least it wasn’t because he was weirded out by Hayden having a sex life.
“Don’t you understand? Talking about it, shining a light on it, letting them know that sort of behavior isn’t acceptable, is the only way to make sure no one gets hurt. Those guys that attacked me started out bullying me just like Vic and Jordan. And no one cared. No one stopped them. So they felt free to attack me physically.”
All the color drained out of Miguel’s face as he gaped at Jez. “You mean you know who attacked you? Why did you tell the cops you didn’t?”
Ah, so that’s what had happened.
“I was afraid, Miguel. My own parents thought those guys had done me a favor. But once I was better and living in New York, I got angry. I wasn’t going to hide, and I wasn’t going to let bullies dictate my actions. It got me roughed up a few times, but I learned to fight back, and I never got hospitalized again.”
Holy fuck. Hayden’s vision swam and he got light-headed. He wasn’t going to faint, was he?
A few deep breaths and he was back to normal, and saw Miguel was as horrified as Hayden was.
“Baby, look at me.” Hayden tapped Jez’s side to get his attention.
“You’ve never called me that before.” But getting lost in Jez’s soft, warm eyes was not an option.
“I will again, don’t worry. But please, Jez, please. Don’t deliberately put yourself in danger. Just listening to all this has taken years off my life.” Miguel snorted in agreement. “You forget that I see what can happen, what angry people can do to one another. And I couldn’t bear it if something bad happened to you.”
“I’m sorry. I won’t deliberately put myself in harm’s way. But neither am I going back in the closet.”
“Thank you, baby. And I’d never ask that of you.” Hayden kissed him, quick and fast, because anything else would distract him and give Miguel too much information.
But Jez didn’t completely relax. “Why have you been avoiding me?”
Miguel shifted uncomfortably. “It was stupid, but I… it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. After all the money I spent to get you well, I just couldn’t afford to visit you, and I couldn’t get any help from the family. I was just afraid… we’d be strangers. I know I’ve seen your pictures on social media and all, but I was also worried I wouldn’t even recognize you. The last thing I wanted was to see you and have it feel like an awkward first date or job interview. Putting my head in the sand and pretending things were fine seemed like the easiest solution.”
Jez let out a bark of laughter. “Hoping problems go away if you ignore them must be a family trait, because I’ve done that a few times.”
Miguel grinned at him before standing up and pulling Jez into a giant bear hug. Hayden, almost like one of the family, pretended not to notice the brothers had teared up.
“Right, so am I being reamed out for anything else? Because I think I saw a freshly baked pie that has my name on it!”
Yes, Hayden knew his friend well. “Let me clear off the table and get dessert. Jez, you stay here and chat with your brother.”
Chapter 8
BY THE time Miguel left, Jez had lost that brittle edginess that had infected him since Hayden had invited Miguel over. Hayden understood. Jez had left behind his entire support network to start a life in a new state. The resolve he’d gained from his attack meant that Miguel might be the last of his family still talking to him, but he sure wasn’t sacrosanct if Jez thought Miguel had started thinking like his parents. Hayden admired that strength, and his enforced independence at seventeen probably accounted for Jez often seeming older than his years. In attitude and thought process, definitely not in looks.
Hayden was fucking exhausted, and there was no way Jez wasn’t just as beat. He finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher while Jez took Fang out back for his last pee of the night.
The door opened, and Hayden heard the jangle of Fang’s collar and leash before the door slammed shut again and the lock engaged with vigor.
“Ready for bed?” Was it normal to take so much joy in these domestic tasks? Even when he’d lived with Gran, he’d sort of envisioned himself as a lone wolf, not trapped in a cage of his own making. On a personal level, anyway. He’d wanted to be a firefighter since he was a kid—it was what had initially bonded him and Miguel at the age of five. They’d helped each other toward that goal, but once they’d attained it? Hayden hadn’t fully recognized his need to make a new family for himself, starting with a boyfriend.
Jez plodded into the kitchen, a tired smile on his face. “I am.” The smile flattened. “I don’t think… I’m not up for….”
Hayden shook his head. “I realize this is new for us and we have been doing our best impression of stags in season, but we’re also adults with lives. Shit happens, and I’m pretty sure a relationship means not having sex every night. It’s not a deal breaker.” Besides, there was always morning sex, when Jez was sleepy and warm and hadn’t woken up enough to remember everything that was weighing on him.
Jez’s smile returned, wider than before, and he gave Hayden a sweet little kiss. Mentally, Hayden gave his cock a stern talking-to. Everyone was too tired for fucking. Overenthusiastic piece of flesh also loved this new domestic arrangement.
Exhaustion didn’t stop him from letting Jez go first up the stairs so he could admire his ass. Didn’t take any effort to gaze lovingly on a work of art.
As they undressed, Hayden’s cock perked up a bit at the sight of a naked Jez—he’d have to be dead before he stopped responding to that. Curling around Jez’s slim, muscled body was a joy he’d never known he’d been missing, and it was already a habit crucial for a good night’s sleep.
Lying there in the dark, he stroked Jez’s shoulder, expecting him to drop off right away, but Jez’s breathing didn’t change to that breathy sleep sound.
“Your parents really wanted you to go through conversion therapy?”
He’d had a long time to come to terms with that. “Yeah. It sucked.”
“Is that why you never came back to Willow Ridge again after you moved away? Not even for Christmas or Thanksgiving or anything?”
“Pretty much. After my parents died, I came back a few times with Miguel and spent the holidays at your parents’ place. You were already living in New York, and I assumed that was why you were never there. It never twigged that no one talked about you, although I was always careful to keep quiet about being gay while I was there. It’s possible your parents knew, but I’m guessing my parents wouldn’t have told anyone, and we both learned that Miguel is far too good at keeping secrets, so I know he didn’t say anything.”
“But your gran was okay with everything?”
Aside from the steadily deteriorating mental health? “Yeah, she was fine with me. I called her as soon as my parents started raving, and she immediately sent me money for bus fare. Told me I’d have a safe place with her.” He smiled in the darkness. “You know, she would have liked you. She was a professional ballerina for several years but quit when she was pregnant with my dad. A few years later, she divorced my alcoholic grandfather, and then she moved into acting. She had a few decent movie roles—mostly made for TV and miniseries—as well as a bunch of bit parts on shows like Columbo and Fantasy Island and Murder, She Wrote.”
&nbs
p; Jez half sat up, resting his weight on his elbows. “Oh my God, really? That is so cool.”
Hayden didn’t know why it wouldn’t have occurred to him that Jez would be interested in his gran’s accomplishments. “She wasn’t famous or anything, but she knew a ton of people and had stories about everyone. She never could figure out how she’d somehow birthed an ultraconservative Republican.” Probably some sort of weird rebellion against Gran’s liberalism. Or acting out against her divorce. Whatever it was, his father had been a dried-up sour lemon compared to Gran’s lemon chiffon pie personality. “Her memorabilia is packed in those boxes in the third guest room.”
“Shit. That’s a lot of memorabilia.”
“It’s not all memorabilia. Acting didn’t take up all her time; she also loved sewing and cross-stitch and knitting.” And a ton of other fabric-related things he didn’t know the names for. “Those things in the boxes were all the things that she loved best.” Because Hayden refused to believe his gran loved the stacks of newspapers, and collection of broken porcelain dolls, and myriad jars of old buttons as much as she loved sewing and being an actress. No matter what she’d claimed in those final years.
“Why is it all in boxes, then? Surely you’re not planning to get rid of it?”
Hayden blinked. “No. I just don’t know what to do with it all.” Besides worry it was the kernel from which he’d grow his own hoard.
“I know.” Jez sighed. “Too girly, right? Putting it right out there would mark you as obviously gay, and with the guys coming over all the time, you couldn’t have that.”
“Yeah. That’s part of it, for sure.” It was also messy. Too messy for Hayden to be comfortable with.
“Don’t worry. We’ll figure out a way you can keep your memories without it looking like the back room of a warehouse in there.” Jez relaxed on the bed. “Are they, like, private? Or would you mind if I opened a few boxes, just to see what’s in there?”
Hayden sucked in a couple of breaths. “They’re not private, but… please don’t make a mess.” He wasn’t sure he and Jez defined “mess” the same way, but he’d packed the stuff away once; he could do it again if necessary.
His eyelids started to droop, and he was almost ready to drift off when Jez asked another question, something about going to see a movie, but it brought him mostly back to wakefulness. “Baby, can we talk later? I gotta get to sleep. Working the Halloween shift is always shitty.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. It wasn’t important.”
Fang settled in at the bottom of the bed, silence descended, and Hayden heard Jez’s breathing change. All was right in his world, and he’d sleep better for knowing it.
JEZ CIRCLED the block around Tyson’s place a couple of times, looking for street parking. His Prius was super compact, but for someone who’d gotten his driver’s license only a year before taking an eight-year hiatus from driving while in New York, parallel parking was more stressful than opening night. He needed a big spot soon, or he’d still be driving in circles when the kids started trick-or-treating. One of the main reasons they’d agreed to meet up so early was to avoid any of them driving during the kiddie portion of the evening. Scary movie, dinner, another scary movie, then pregame some drinks while putting on their costumes. Jez couldn’t wait. What was more fun than a packed gay club on Halloween? He and Hayden were exclusive, as unbelievable as that was, so for the first time since he was legal—since he’d lost his virginity to a fellow dance student his first September in New York—Jez wouldn’t be getting laid on Halloween. Night. They’d had a very good Halloween morning, though, before Hayden left for his shift.
Paul had just gone through a bad breakup and was ready for all the cock he could handle, and Tyson, well, Tyson was pining after one of Jez’s costars and might end up as celibate as Jez tonight. According to his new friends, they were going to hit a couple of the best bars in WeHo, and Jez was fucking ready. It felt like forever since he’d been to a club. He was also nervous. Living in a different city from Jayson helped, but anyone could have faulty wiring in their brain.
No. Jez shook off that line of thought. Clubbing, dancing, and fun. Some drinks to relax.
On his third time around the block, like magic, a car pulled out, leaving a space plenty big enough for Jez to zip right into without any futzing with reverse.
He grabbed his bags, then trundled up the steps. Tyson’s apartment was one of six units in a large house that had been cut up into functional living spaces. It was pretty cool—very classic Hollywood. He followed a path around to the back of the house and knocked on Tyson’s door.
“Hey there!” Tyson gave him a hug and two air kisses. “Paul just got here a few minutes ago. We can get started.”
“You got any kids that’ll come to the house?” Jez had sort of forgotten about that part of the night, and Tyson hadn’t mentioned it when they were making plans.
“Nah, not since I’m at the back of the building. I’ve got a couple of bags of candy in the kitchen just in case, but I’d be surprised. I’ve lived here six years and only ever gave out candy two of ’em. To a grand total of eleven kids. So I made sure to get candy I like.” Tyson winked at him and Jez laughed.
Tyson hustled him into the living/dining room, where Paul was mixing cocktails. At least he knew with these guys—unlike with Hayden’s beer—the cocktails, for all their brilliant color, would be as low calorie as possible. Big strong firefighters with lots of muscles didn’t have to worry about empty calories and getting fat, unlike the rest of them.
“Hey, boy, how’s it going?” Paul offered a glass with lurid green liquid in it and a floating gummy brain. Jez wrinkled his nose and reached to pluck it out.
“Vegan gummies. You can have a little cheat.”
Ooh, he just might cheat for that. “You guys are so good to me.” And they were. Every time they’d gone out—which hadn’t been all that often, since Jez had just met them—they were careful to choose places that had plenty of vegan options. That buffalo cauliflower in Silver Lake had been to die for.
“I’m surprised you wanted to leave the new boyfriend to come out for a Halloween extravaganza with us.”
Jez’s ears heated a bit. The moment he’d had the exclusivity talk with Hayden, he’d texted them both like a teenaged girl. Fortunately, they’d been every bit as excited for him, just like a teen girl posse. “He’s working tonight. Says it’s usually rough.”
Tyson made a face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing much, but honestly, your man works in Pasadena. There’s places in LA where cars get set on fire as Halloween entertainment.”
“You know what? I am okay with that. The fewer times he’s in danger, the happier I’ll be.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Tyson said and lifted his glass. “When do we get to meet this man?”
Huh. Jez had already met some of Hayden’s friends, which hadn’t gone well, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t try to introduce his new friends to Hayden. “I don’t know. I’ll talk to Hayden and see. Maybe we can have a barbecue or something?” After so many years in the northeast, it seemed almost ludicrous to offer a barbecue for some future time after Halloween, but it hadn’t cooled off much, and Hayden had one of those outdoor space heaters for the patio in case that changed.
“You do that.”
“What are we watching tonight?”
Paul giggled. “Got a movie about a serial killer preying on poor WeHo gays on Halloween. Get us in the right frame of mind.”
Jez rolled his eyes. It was bound to be terrible, but in a good way. “Let’s bring on the horror.”
The three of them sat in a row on Tyson’s plush couch and started their Halloween celebration.
THE SECOND movie finished around nine thirty. Perfect timing. They’d have time to get into their costumes and head out, and they’d arrive at the first club just as things were heating up.
They got dressed in separate rooms so the
y could have a mini fashion show. Since Tyson’s place was a small one bedroom, that meant one of them in Ty’s bedroom, one in the living/dining room, and the third in the bathroom. Jez took the living/dining room because he didn’t need too much primping with his costume, aside from some guyliner, and the mirror by the front door would suffice.
Jez had chosen a fairly sedate—for a WeHo Halloween club party—sailor costume. The base was super clingy black fabric, with full-length pants and a sleeveless vest with a vaguely nautical neckline and accents. Also a little sailor cap, which Jez expected to disappear over the course of the night. If he’d been aiming to hook up, he’d have worn a jock, but since he was planning for his cock to remain tucked away, he put on a pair of tiny briefs before pulling up the pants.
“You guys ready?” Tyson called out. Both Jez and Paul replied that they were.
Within seconds, his friends had joined him by the couch.
“Oooh, Sailor McSlutty,” Tyson exclaimed. “I’d take a ride on your submarine.”
Jez laughed and rolled his eyes. “I love the gladiator costume.” Tyson was wearing a leather… skirt? Kilt? Jez didn’t know what gladiators called the lower half of their outfits. The leather wrist cuffs and collar looked a little more BDSM fetish night than Roman gladiator, but it was still a good look for Tyson. And if Jez wasn’t mistaken, parts of the costume might have been culled from a movie set. Tyson had some good connections.
“Thank you.” Tyson twirled a bit, letting the hook of his ass peek out from under the kilt.
Then they both turned to Paul.
“Um. Boy.” Tyson bit his lip while Jez tried to piece it all together. It was orange and looked a bit like a wrestling singlet, but with about half the material. The front scooped down low enough to confirm Paul had waxed it all off.
