by Beers, B. A.
She blinked her eyes a couple of times to clear the tears forming, and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know,” she started quietly. Turning to view the playing dogs, she continued in a low voice. “Seeing them so happy together frightens me.”
Mark heard the anxiety in her voice. “Why do you think you are reacting this way, Sami?” he asked, adapting to her quiet tone. He witnessed her shoulders becoming tense. Oh no, Mark thought, he had awakened the ‘evil twin’, Mrs. Carter. He studied her closely as he mentally prepared himself for the verbal abuse he suspected would be forthcoming. He watched her unclasp her hands slowly, as she visibly shook herself in front of him.
The tension in her back melted away before she spoke. “I just don’t know. It puzzles me.”
Mark let out a sigh of relief. Good for you, Sami, you defeated her. He closed the distance between them and stood in her comfort zone, inches from her back. He wanted desperately to draw her into his arms to give her wounded spirits some support, but suppressed the urge. Instead, he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder.
Turning her head, she looked up at his hand, and then into his eyes. “Help me, Dr. Stevens,” she pleaded, with tears sliding down her cheeks. “What’s wrong with me? Help me understand.” She turned under his hand and buried her head in his chest, placing her arms around him in a bear hug.
God woman, Mark thought, placing his arms around her, even you can read my mind? Mark stroked her back, letting her cry. He gazed out over the yard, and saw the two dogs sitting about two feet off the patio. From the expression on their faces, he could swear that they were smiling. You are surely losing it, Mark thought to himself as he winked at the dogs. At this, the dogs both rose as one, and wagged their hindquarters in unison. Mark chuckled at the two of them before him, and knew that he should break the embrace with Sami. But, knowing and wanting were two different things, he thought reluctantly.
Wishing to prolong their contact, Mark probed again. “Sami, please voice what you’re feeling. Share with me. Open up. Trust me, so I may help you.”
Choking back the building emotions, but not releasing her grip on him, she pondered her feelings. “I don’t know if I can express how I feel in words,” she whispered into his chest.
He had to tilt his head forward to hear her better. This movement resulted in placing his head so close to hers that her hair tickled his cheek. He urged her to continue. “Try.”
Several minutes passed before he felt and heard her take a deep breath. Her arms released the bear hug she had on him, and he feared the break of contact. Yet, his fear was unfounded as he felt her hook her hands together behind his waist. In order to peer into his face, she leaned back, easing her upper body off his chest and using her hooked hands for support. Their matching brown eyes locked as she fumbled for the proper words to explain her uneasiness. Mark saw her eyes cloud over and knew he needed to remain silent to give her time to organize her thoughts.
“Have I been wrong all these years?” she began. Her voice was void of emotion.
Sensing her difficult internal conflicts, he felt her begin to tremble against him. Wanting her to continue, he knew he had to calm her thoughts. Without thinking twice, he pulled her back into his embrace and pressed her head against his chest. She melted into his body as he stroked the back of her head. Almost immediately the trembling stopped. A smile played on his lips, as he congratulated himself for the results of his quick actions.
“I have given her everything,” Sami started again quietly.
His smile vanished, as he tilted his head again to hear her softly spoken words.
“Everything I believed she required to make her life special. I know that because of me, I have limited her existence. It never occurred to me before tonight that keeping us isolated has not been the best thing for her. Four years ago, Jon made me aware that I survived the accident only to care for her. Today, he made me aware that I have failed in my obligation. Remind me to thank Jon for pointing out my error in judgment. It is apparent now, that I have not been the best caregiver.” Her last few words were barely audible for her volume level lowered as she spoke.
Mark became aware of the dangers in this line of thinking. He was certain that she believed she survived the accident solely to care for Molly. Yet, he also had witnessed the unusually strong bond between these two females, and the agony Sami had demonstrated earlier with the thought of separation. He knew he had to divert these thoughts quickly and assure her that Molly had had the best care possible.
“Sami,” Mark began, still stroking the back of her head. "Listen to me. I believe you are incorrect.” He felt her body tense within his arms. “Don’t shut me out. Let me explain what I mean.” Her head nodded against his chest. Encouraged, he hurried on excitedly. “From what I have seen in the past two days, you have taken excellent care of that little lady out there.”
Mark glanced over her head at the two animals now laying side-by-side not more than a few feet in front of them. Seeing them gave him an idea on how to visually explain his conclusion. Slowly, he untangled himself from her hold, and turned her around to face them while keeping their bodies in contact.
“Sami, look at the two of them,” he directly softly. The two Spaniels stood as if on cue, knowing that they were now the center of attention. “Molly is the picture of health. Her condition is due to you and your loving care of her. To tell you the truth, I am a little bit envious of you both. Molly appears happy and healthy. She outshines my pet in all regards. She has the appearance of a pampered inside life rather than a harsh outside existence that I have seen. On the other hand, beside her, Ollie appears shaggy and unkempt.” He felt her chuckle at the reference.
Smiling, he continued. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I do not care for my dog. It is just that you have taken care of her better than you think. That animal relishes your love and attention. You are very much in charge of her wellbeing. The two of you are linked. Springer Spaniels are renowned for their loyalty, and her happiness is rooted to yours. Her unconditional love is for you alone, and there is no way that the two of you could ever part without the other being deeply wounded. So, don’t you ever believe that she would be better off without you! There is no one in the world that could replace you in that dog’s eyes.”
Sami stepped away from Mark and sat down on the edge of the patio. Within a matter of seconds, she found herself being nuzzled by the object of their conversation. Sami glanced up and found that Mark was receiving the same attention from his own dog. Returning her eyes back at Molly, Sami reached out, placed her hands on either side of the furry muzzle, and gazed deeply into the dog’s eyes. Yes, he just might be right, she thought, and kissed the top of Molly’s head.
Suddenly, Sami realized that Mark was standing beside her. “You’ve had enough for today,” Mark said softly, reaching for her hand. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Sami shook her head slightly at his suggestion. “I have to feed and brush Molly,” she said dryly.
“No, Sami, not tonight. I’ll take care of that for them both. You are very tired,” Mark told her, guiding her over to Grandma Jo who was standing by the back door. “You go with Grandma Jo. I’ll see you in the morning.” He handed her to Grandma Jo and watched as the two disappeared into the house.
***
Pivoting, he turned to the attentive dogs behind him. “Okay, you two. Are you hungry?” Stupid question, he thought as the two came charging at him. Quickly reversing direction, he entered the house to prepare their food. Molly skidded to a halt at the entrance, but Ollie flew through the open door at Mark’s heels. Mark felt the dog’s presence next to his leg, and was surprised when he heard Ollie’s whine.
“What’s wrong, boy?” he asked looking down at him.
He saw that Ollie was staring at the open back door. Mark turned in that direction. Molly’s sad eyes were darting from him to Ollie, then to the threshold of the door. Oh, Mark thought, you are not allowed inside. “Well girl,�
�� he said, getting down on his haunches and signaling her to come in. “I can’t play favorites here.”
Molly watched him warily, not yet fully trusting him. Mark patted Ollie, standing next to him, to keep him from whining at Molly. “Tell her, boy, it’s okay to come in. Tell her that Grandma Jo lets you have the run of the house. Tell her that Grandma Jo loves animals and that she hasn’t yet found the right one to adopt after having to put to sleep her own beloved Muffy. Tell her about the doggy door that allows you to enter and leave the house on your own.” Mark never took his eyes off the hesitant animal. He watched as Molly placed one paw on the tile right inside the door. She stuck her head in a little way, scanning the interior.
Mark heard Grandma Jo approaching, and saw Molly’s action freeze. As Grandma Jo rounded the corner into the kitchen, she immediately understood what was happening. All three sets of eyes were turned to her. Moving quickly to the door, she barked at the dog. “Get in here. Do you want to heat up the outside?” Molly jumped at the sound of her voice and found herself completely inside the house as Grandma Jo closed the door behind her.
Mark laughed and got to his feet. “Now, why didn’t I think of that?” he said. “Scare the dog into action.”
Molly adjusted quickly to the new freedom and joined Ollie at Mark’s feet. Smiling, Grandma Jo moved to give Mark a helping hand with the food preparation.
“She fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow,” Grandma Jo informed Mark as they made the meals.
“I had a feeling she would,” he commented. “I think she somehow wanted permission before she went.”
Placing the bowls on the floor, they watched the dogs eat.
“After I brush Molly, I believe I will turn in myself,” Mark informed her. “Even though I rested this afternoon, I still feel drained.”
“Good idea,” she encouraged. “We all have had a pretty eventful past two days.”
“I do believe you have hit the nail on the head,” Mark retorted.
“See you in the morning, Mark,” she said as she slowly walked out of the room. “The last bedroom on the right is yours.”
“Got it. Good night,” Mark called out as he walked to the back door followed by both dogs.
***
Mark spotted Molly’s brush on the patio table and sat down in the chair near it. As he picked up the brush, Molly moved in and positioned herself between his knees. Ollie took up residence next to the chair and stretched himself out. As Mark brushed Molly, his mind wandered back to Sami’s reaction to the playing animals.
“Is she that insecure?” he asked out loud, causing both animals to look at him. He saw their movement, and he addressed them. “Did I stress enough to her that her life is valid?” Shaking his head, he wished the animals could answer. He felt that the answer to the question would be an important clue in her road to recovery. Oh well, he thought, add this question to the many others that need to be resolved.
Mark’s focus returned to Molly. Her coat reflected the light. He glanced at Ollie and found the dog peering at him. “You know, buddy, her coat is in much better condition than yours, and you are an inside dog to boot. I guess you deserve a little attention, too.” He patted Molly’s side a couple of times, she got up, and Ollie took her place. Smart dogs, he thought, as he began to groom Ollie. Mark worked hard on Ollie’s coat for about ten minutes until it too shone in the light. Getting up, he cleaned out the mat of hair from the brush and tossed the hair away. He walked back into the house with both dogs following him.
As he headed to the bedroom that Grandma Jo had assigned him, Mark picked up the suitcase he had dropped earlier. Turning off lights as he went down the hall, he stopped at the first bedroom door across from the bathroom. Reaching into the bathroom, he turned on the light. The bedroom door was open, and he could see Sami lying on her side facing away from him. Lowering the suitcase to the floor, he walked farther into the bedroom. As he approached the bed, he could hear her soft, deep breathing indicating that she was fast asleep. Reaching over to the chair near the bed, he removed an extra blanket. Spreading it out on the floor, next to the bed, he signaled to Molly to enter the room.
Molly approached him cautiously. She sniffed the air and whined softly a few times when she realized that her mistress was on the bed. Molly turned back to Mark. He patted the blanket, and the dog moved to it and proceeded to lie down. Good girl, Mark thought, patting her head. He backed out of the room, and moved to the bathroom. Moments later, he took a few steps further down the hall and turned into the last bedroom on the right, with Ollie right beside him.
***
SIX
Mark was awakened by sounds coming from down the hall. He sat up and grabbed the sweat bottoms that he had left next to the bed. Donning them quickly, he stood up. The early morning sunlight was bleeding around the window blinds, aiding him to avoid Ollie who had taken an aggressive position at the door. Mark spun past him and stood at the end of the hall. Taking a deep breath to calm his alert body, he waited for the noise to repeat. When he heard the sound again, he realized Sami’s bedroom was the source. Her door, which had been wide open last night, was now only open a few inches. Stepping forward a few feet, he could now hear her voice.
“Molly, you little angel,” Mark heard her say softly. She spoke again, but Mark couldn’t make out her words. Tapping lightly on the door, he heard her quietly call out. “Yes?”
“Sami?” Mark said softly, as he pushed the door open farther and poked his head around it. Seeing her bare legs, he pulled his head back quickly, not wanting to embarrass either himself or her.
“It’s okay,” she called out to him with merriment in her voice. “Come in.”
Before he could act on her request, Ollie poked the door wide open and entered, going directly to Sami. “Ollie!” Mark cried out softly, as he passed. Ollie turned in his direction, but stayed where he was, next to Sami.
Sami reached out and patted Ollie’s side. “Good morning, Ollie,” she said directly to the dog. He turned as she spoke his name and gave her a big lick. Sami took the offered gift in stride and giggled like a teenager.
Mark swallowed back his embarrassment, and had to admit he was beginning to like this side of her. He walked into the room. “Sorry about that,” he said looking at her, “but you are at his level, and consequently you are fair game to him.”
Sami gazed at Mark. “I know,” she confessed, “we’re already good friends. We have even been outside this morning.” Not taking her eyes off Mark as she spoke, she continued to stroke the animal.
Mark became aware that Sami’s eyes were taking stock of him as he stood there. He repressed the urge to suck in his belly that was exposed to her view, deciding it was too late anyway. The intensity of her stare made his body begin to warm. Uncomfortable under her stare, he decided to end it quickly. He turned, asking if she wanted coffee. Her affirmative answer reached him as he turned up the hall. Heading for the kitchen, the aroma of fresh brewed coffee filled the air around him.
He saw Grandma Jo sitting at the kitchen table sipping a mug of it. “Good morning,” his voice cracked as if he was just going through puberty, in reaction to what had just transpired down the hall. A response from Grandma Jo to Mark was cut off as the two active dogs came bouncing in behind him, followed closely by Sami, who had put on sweats.
“Good morning to you all,” Grandma Jo laughed out loud at the circus that had just entered her quiet world. It’s nice to have life back in this old house, she thought, suddenly realizing how much she had missed it. She watched as Ollie headed out the doggy door. Molly was following him, but stopped short of the door, turning in Grandma Jo’s direction. Grandma Jo nodded to her. “Go ahead. You can do it.”
Pouring a cup of coffee, Mark turned at Grandma Jo’s voice. He saw Molly and understood what was going on. “Grandma Jo, she is not used to it. She doesn’t understand,” Mark explained.
“Let’s teach her,” Sami said stepping forward, taking the mug of cof
fee out of Mark’s hand, and heading for the door. He saw her open the door and step out, closing the door behind her leaving Molly inside.
“Gutsy move,” Mark said loud enough for Grandma Jo to hear. Reaching for another mug, Mark filled it, hearing Grandma Jo’s light mirth.
Molly was having a fit, pacing back and forth near the door, whining woefully. Mark walked to the back door intending to open it, and ease the dog’s discomfort. The doggy door suddenly opened and fell back closed. He peered through the door’s window and saw Sami on the other side. The doggy door moved again. Molly stopped her pacing and watched the swinging panel.
Mark got Sami’s attention and indicated for her to back up. She did as he directed. Instead of forcing Molly out the door, he decided to teach her by example. He called for Ollie. Within seconds, Ollie came back inside. Mark patted him and signaled Sami to call him back out. Mark heard Sami’s voice summon Ollie. Without hesitation, Ollie was back outside. Mark saw Molly move to the door. He signaled to Sami to call her. Hearing her mistress voice, Molly was out the doggy door.
