by Sonya Clark
“You sound pretty nonchalant about the whole thing.”
“So? You think I should sound some other way?” She stretched her arms over her head, the hem of her tank top riding up to show a slice of skin above her sleep shorts. The right side was mottled with bruising. “It didn’t work out, and now I’m done.”
Kevin pushed his glasses up and bit back a sarcastic response. “It was a terrible night, I know. That doesn’t mean you give up.”
Dani walked slowly toward the bathroom. “It was a rough night for me. Masha’s the one who had the terrible night. Is my ID in yet?”
Jesus, she was really fucked up. It was one thing to be so defensive, try to put up a front about how she felt, but leaving town? The bad thing was, her ID was in, sitting in an envelope downstairs on his desk. It had been delivered that morning. He didn’t want her to leave, didn’t think she really wanted to give up on finding that last girl, but he didn’t want to lie to Dani, either.
“Yeah, it’s here.”
Dani halted with her back to him. Her arms and shoulders were an abstract of old and new bruises. “Good. I’ve done all I can do. I need to leave town before the wrong people find me.”
“There’s still one more girl out there.”
She started walking again. “Someone else will have to find her.”
“Nobody can do what you can, Dani. She needs you.”
This time when Dani stopped she turned to face him. “What I can do? You mean fuck up and get her killed? She doesn’t need that.”
He left the bed and went to stand in front of her. “You have extraordinary abilities. You’ve helped so many people. I know you want to help her, too.”
“I can’t. Don’t you get it? You think because I saved your life that I’m some kind of hero. I’m not. Get that through your head.” She turned away from him. “I’m not any kind of hero.”
“What’s her name?”
“What does it matter?”
“Is it Molly?”
Dani froze. “How do you know that name?”
“You said it in your sleep, several times. Is that what the last Russian girl calls herself? It’s not a very Russian name.” He came up behind her and put his hands lightly on her shoulders, wishing she would take the comfort he offered, knowing she wouldn’t. “You said, I’m sorry Molly. I’m so sorry. Who is Molly?”
She trembled under his touch then jerked away. “None of your damn business.”
He clenched his hands in frustration then dropped them to his sides. “You can talk to me.”
“I can’t do this,” she whispered. “I can’t do any of it.”
“What can’t you do? You tell me what you think you can’t do, and I’ll tell you how you’re wrong.”
Tense silence stretched out between them. It gave him hope, that she was reconsidering, that she might actually open up to him again. The secrets she’d shared about the lab and what was done to her there – that was enormous. Why couldn’t she trust him now, with whatever was tearing her up inside? Because it was obvious something was, something more than Masha’s loss. When the first girl was found dead, Dani had been so determined to save the others and stop the killer. What had changed? Who was Molly, and what did she have to do with Dani suddenly wanting to run away and leave town?
Dani shook her head. “I can’t. Don’t ask me to talk about it.” He reached for her, fingertips sliding down her arm as she started walking again. “I need a shower. When I come downstairs, I want the ID. It’s time for me to go.”
The bathroom door closed, and it felt like a rebuke. He collected his sketchpad and left the room.
It was nearly an hour before she came downstairs. Dani wore black jeans and a gray Henley underneath his jacket. A small duffel was slung over her shoulder. She stopped in the middle of the living room and looked everywhere but at him. “Mind if I keep the clothes?”
“Of course not.” He gave her the envelope with her new ID. “Keep the jacket, too. It looks good on you.”
Her gaze met his for nearly two whole seconds. “Thanks.” She took the envelope, not bothering to look inside. “Thank you for everything.”
He moved closer to her, then closer still when she didn’t back away. Tipped her chin up and stroked her jawline, her cheek. “I wish you would stay.”
“I can’t. You know that.”
“At least an hour or two. Let me cook you breakfast.”
“No. I should go now.”
He nodded, because there was nothing else to say. Not that would make a difference. “My door is always open, if you change your mind.” He leaned down and kissed her, thrilled to feel her kiss back. A soft brush of lips, just enough pressure to make him want to take it further but not enough to be considered an invitation.
Then she was gone.
Chapter 26
Dani walked through the city. Point Sable in the early morning hours was still vibrantly alive, if somewhat subdued. There was so much light in the city center, it didn’t matter that her night vision was still out of commission. Traffic was sparse but still flowed. She could have taken a bus or hailed a cab but with no destination in mind, she kept walking instead.
She had nowhere to go. No home and family to return to, no friends to take her in. No idea what to do with herself. The closest thing she had to a plan was to get as far from Point Sable as possible and hide. Move around as frequently as necessary. Work whatever odd jobs she could get. No roots, no connections, no relationships of any kind.
Jesus, how pathetic. Every part of that sounded miserable. She’d never wanted to live like that. But then, she’d never had any idea of how she wanted to live. Even as a child, she’d been too busy just trying to survive to give any thought to the future. Making it through the week without getting hit, or worse, had been her only real ambition.
Now here she was, with enhanced speed and strength and all the skills she’d learned in the lab, and she was still getting beat up. Went looking for it, in fact. One of these days she was going to have to think about her unhealthy relationship with pain, but not today.
The lights of a twenty-four hour fast food joint beckoned. Dani crossed the street. The place was about half full even at this hour, blue collar and service workers either heading to jobs or heading home after their shift. Tired faces, quiet and preoccupied with their own thoughts. No one paid any attention to Dani, which suited her just fine. She ordered coffee and a biscuit sandwich then stepped to the side to wait for her food.
The woman working the counter to relay food to customers looked barely awake. She yawned then shrugged when she realized Dani had seen it. “Whew, it’s early.”
Dani nodded. “You used to working another shift?”
“I had to close at my other job last night, then come in here for the breakfast shift this morning. You know how it is.”
Dani took a closer look at her. Definitely not a girl, a grown woman probably in her early thirties. Dark brown skin and a gently rounded face with large, expressive eyes. She would have been pretty if not for the harsh lighting and the polyester uniform and working herself to the bone. “Never stops, huh?” Dani didn’t know what to say. She’d never had a real job.
“Not when you got kids to feed.” The woman retrieved Dani’s order and placed the tray on the counter. “Can I get you anything else?”
“Nah, I’m good.” Dani picked up the tray.
The woman offered a tired smile. “Take care of yourself, hon.”
All the tables at the edge of the dining room were taken so Dani sat at one in the middle. The coffee tasted like crap compared to what she’d had at Kevin’s, but it was hot and almost drinkable with enough sugar and creamer. Grease was the primary flavor of the sausage and cheese biscuit. Nope, she definitely wasn’t uptown anymore. Once she’d eaten all of the biscuit she could stand, she discreetly checked the envelope with her new ID. Driver’s license and passport – that, she’d expected. The stack of cash didn’t faze her. The checkbook and credit card,
though…what the hell, Kevin? She could be tracked much easier through bank accounts than using cash.
The number in the check register made her want to throw something at Kevin’s head. She didn’t want his money. She’d never helped anyone with the expectation of being paid. She shoved the envelope back in her bag and fished out the phone. Okay, yeah, the bag and phone he’d bought, but still. Somehow it felt different.
The phone was cold in her hand. She stared at it, her anger and confusion melting away. Replaced by the temptation – no, need – to check the hashtag. Had Housecat been able to find Tatiana?
Or had she been found by Bessonov?
In a rush, Dani closed the bag and hurried back out into the streets. With nowhere to go, she just walked. Low impact exercise was the best cure for shock overload, the lab’s term for an enhanced subject being electrocuted into worthlessness. The subjects referred to it as getting their brains fried like Sunday chicken. The muscle aches sucked but after a while, because of the procedures and the training, everyone in the lab got used to that. It was what shock overload did to your head that was the real bitch.
The neural interface was both tough and delicate. Tough enough to survive repeated concussions and shock overload, but still delicate enough to be temporarily scrambled by such injuries. During training, the lab rats were sedated to sleep through the worst of it. Initial testing, not so much. It had been almost three years since Dani had suffered from shock overload and had to feel the side effects. It had sent her vision and hearing bouncing all over the place. A whisper became a shout and anything louder than that was just so much unintelligible feedback. No night vision, no zooming in. Also no camera, still or video. Worst of all, no control. Dani had worked to the point of obsession to learn how to work with and control the neural interface. It had not come naturally to her like it did some. Losing that control, even if only briefly, hurt in its own way as much as the physical aches and pains.
Every step she took brought her body closer to full strength, like a slow reboot after a system crash. Part of the genetic modifications were for quicker healing. The neural interface would take a little longer, but not much. It was too soon to start test runs on it. If she tried it now, she’d wind up with a splitting headache at the very least, passed out in the street at the worst. Tonight, maybe tomorrow, she could try. For right now it felt good just to walk and use the senses she’d been born with.
An hour later she looked up and realized she was in an unfamiliar west side neighborhood. Businesses were opening for the day. Buses for both city transit and schools clogged the busy streets. She took a break at a bench across from a school bus stop. Middle school aged kids played and talked as they waited. One little girl stood a few feet away by herself, nose in a book. Blond pigtails, not brown, but her face became Molly’s nonetheless.
Dani took in a sharp breath. He skin went cold and clammy, her heart sped up. Sweat broke out at her hairline. Would this ever stop? Seeing her everywhere, hearing her screams. Wearing the guilt like a second skin.
A man creeped up behind the girl, holding something behind his back in one hand. With the other he reached for the child. Dani was on her feet and weaving through traffic before she had a chance to think about it. The girl screamed as the assailant picked her up.
Then the scream turned into laughter. “Daddy!”
Dani came to a halt at the curb, staring.
The man swung his daughter around before putting her back on her feet then handed her a fat textbook. “You forgot your math book again.”
“Thanks, Daddy.” She fought to find room in her backpack for the textbook. The bus arrived and she hurried away with a wave to her father.
Dani watched as the kids boarded, feeling equal parts stupid and relieved.
The father eyed her curiously. “You thought I was some stranger fixing to snatch her, didn’t you?”
“I’m sorry.” She held her hands up in apology.
“No, no. Most people would have walked away. Not want to get involved, you know?”
“Yeah.” Dani shoved her hands in her pockets. “I know what you mean. I hope you’re not insulted. I was just worried about the kid.”
“No offense taken. I’m glad there’s still people out there who give a damn about strangers. You don’t see that much anymore.”
“I guess not.”
He stepped closer and offered his hand. “I gotta get to work, but thanks.”
Dani let his hand hang in the air for a moment then shook it. “No problem.”
“Take care of yourself.” He went on his way.
The need to get moving sent Dani in the opposite direction. Not that she had anywhere to go. Shouldn’t she be on a bus headed out of town by now? This aimless wandering was pointless.
But she couldn’t stop. It was as if her body demanded she keep moving until she figured out a destination. Eventually she found herself on 110th Street. She stopped at a shuttered business a short distance from the unofficial demarcation of the South Side. Climbing to the roof gave her a decent view of the city. To the north, skyscrapers glittered in the morning sun. To the south lay rundown neighborhoods barely surviving. She paced the rooftop, the wind tangling her hair.
As the minutes ticked by, a truth sank deeper under her skin and settled in the marrow of her genetically strengthened bones. She would never be free, not really. Even with a new identity, she’d always be looking over her shoulder. She could leave Point Sable for another town, but she wouldn’t stay long. She’d never be able to stay anywhere for very long. Her face would stay the same because she couldn’t bear the thought of more procedures. Her DNA had markers that not only identified her as herself but as an enhanced person. A different name, birthdate, a fake social security number – those things might slow them down, but eventually they would still find her. There was no way they weren’t searching for her.
From the day Wolff bought them from the traffickers, Dani and the other three girls were nothing but property. Even when Wolff was replaced with Dr. Hurd, they’d been denied their freedom. Too much had already been done to them, too many experiments and procedures that made them valuable to the lab.
Before the lab…she hadn’t been free then, either, and not just because she’d been underage. Her body had never been her own. Somebody else had always been bigger, stronger, willing to hurt her to make themselves feel powerful.
No more.
The lab – or more precisely, the people who bankrolled the place - had meant to use the power they’d given her. To control her for their own ends. They’d never asked for Dani’s consent to experiment on her, to tinker with her DNA and surgically implant tech inside her very brain. She was a piece of property, cleaned up and augmented with expensive accessories, but property nonetheless.
She’d had enough of other people thinking they had the right to control her body. This unnatural power in her muscles and bones, her senses and her mind, was hers and hers alone now. She’d use it as she saw fit and if anyone ever tried to treat her like a piece of meat instead of a human being again, she’d take that power and break them with it.
That determination might be the closest she got to true freedom. Better than being owned. Even if she had to spend the rest of her life fighting, nobody would ever own her again.
And what would she fight for, other than herself? Because that just didn’t feel like enough. Strangers who screamed for help, girls cornered in dark alleys by thugs pretending to be men, rich pretty boys doing community service in the bad part of town. Polina and Masha, now dead. Sveta, safe at least for the time being. Tatiana, in the wind.
A little girl with pigtails and her nose in a book, too young to realize the possible dangers around her.
Dani shut her eyes tight, memories of Molly cascading through her mind. They’d been more than just foster-sisters, they’d been friends. The younger girl had trusted Dani, and Dani had failed her in the worst possible way. She’d turned her back on Molly’s screams for help and
ran. In a way, she’d been running ever since.
For once, Dani didn’t fight the tears that followed in the wake of those memories. She didn’t try to box up all the guilt and shame and push it into a corner. She let it wrap around her heart and squeeze until she couldn’t stand, until she sat huddled on the rooftop sobbing. Face wet, eyes puffy and tender, she sat for a long time with her arms around her knees. The wind blew her hair and dried her tears. Her mind was still and quiet. That wouldn’t last long, she knew, but she was grateful for the respite.
The decision was made in her heart before her mind had a chance to form it into words.
She checked the hashtag. Nothing from Housecat. Nothing that sounded like Bessonov might be involved. A party gone bad in Cabrini last night. A strip club owner looking for the two guys who beat up a dancer because she wouldn’t put out. A kid too young to be on social media looking for an older brother who hadn’t been home in three days. All tagging the Ghost and asking for help.
She wasn’t a ghost, damn it.
Maybe it was time to come up with her own name.
She left the roof and headed north.
Chapter 27
When all else failed, Kevin painted. Usually before he worked on a large canvas he sketched some ideas out first, but not this time. This time, he let it come through in a long sustained burst of creative energy. Or maybe more like a desperate need for exorcism. It was always hard to tell the difference at times like this. He started in the middle of the canvas with an indigo square, nearly perfect in its lines even without a ruler. From there he slowly added more elements. Concentric rings of garnet and gold, rippling waves of midnight shadows. If pressed, he couldn’t have explained what any of it meant. He had no interest in putting those thoughts and emotions into words. It was enough that he give them shape and color.
He took a break for a cup of coffee. Bright sunlight shone through the kitchen window, accented with occasional flares from the glass high rise across the street. Just that shade of orange with a diamond hard center – could he mix that color for the canvas in progress? Obsessing over getting a color right seemed far preferable to wondering if Dani was still in the city, if she’d caught a bus out of town, if she would be okay.
