by Bailey Bradford, Ethan Stone, T. A. Chase, Sean Michael, L. M. Somerton, Morticia Knight
“I think it amounts to me not finding that kindred spirit. Music is the only thing that speaks to me in life, and I haven’t found anyone yet who completely understands its language.”
“Well put, Bryan. Well put.” He placed the Cadillac in park and angled his body toward Bryan. “Because it’s the only language I understand.”
Chapter Three
Bryan was trying to unravel the puzzle that would explain to him how he’d gone from hoping to gain a dream assignment to flirting with his male rock idol. On top of that, it was as though Aubrey was the one interviewing him instead of vice versa. In yet another disconcerting moment between him and the singer, Aubrey held the door of the restaurant open for him and gestured for him to go ahead.
What the fuck?
Aubrey took his order and conveyed it to the server. He continued to eye Bryan from time to time as they waited for their food. Everything about Aubrey was actually as he’d expected. If he hadn’t been powerfully overwhelming in both his personality and looks, Bryan would have wondered why he had ever been so obsessed with him in the first place.
He wants to know if I’m gay.
It was the elephant in the room between them. The rumors surrounding Aubrey’s sexuality had swirled around for years. The consensus had been that he was probably bisexual, which—while still somewhat scandalous for a masculine rock star with millions of screaming female fans—still left room for a girl to get her foot in the door.
But the real whisperings centered on the belief that Aubrey didn’t want any woman—that he only wanted men. The occasional tabloid story had popped up, but nothing that could be construed as concrete proof. He’d obviously ended on good terms with all his lovers as there’d been no tell-all books published or even hinted at. However, since he’d first become aware of Aubrey’s desire to have his memoir written, Bryan couldn’t help but wonder if the book was to be the vehicle to finally out himself to the world.
Their food was handed to Aubrey in a plastic bag. Bryan reached for it, and Aubrey inclined his head, that secretive smile he was so proficient at quirking the edges of his lips.
“Thank you, Bryan. You’re very well mannered. My impression of you is that you like to please. That’s a trait I appreciate in a man.”
Bryan took the bag, wondering where the innuendo Aubrey maintained was headed. It put him on edge knowing that he might have to fend off unwanted advances from someone he so desperately admired and ached to work with.
Would they be unwanted?
His cock twitched slightly and he almost dropped their bag of food. He cleared his throat and desperately tried to will the furious heat in his face to go away.
Get a hold of yourself, you idiot.
Aubrey was merely trying to rattle him—that was all it was. It seemed more and more to Bryan that Aubrey was about to reveal to him that he was gay and was preparing him for the grand revelation. At least, he was pretty sure that was what he was doing. After all, it was ridiculous to even consider that Aubrey would ever be interested in him. He was merely a music geek.
Once they were seated back in Aubrey’s car, Bryan tried to come up with a topic of conversation that wouldn’t devolve into double entendre. But Aubrey’s quick mind was ahead of him again.
“Can I show off for you, Bryan? I want to play a new track I’ve been working on for someone who would really appreciate it. I haven’t revealed it to anyone yet.”
Barely able to contain his excitement at such an offer, Bryan strove to keep the giddiness out of his voice.
“I would be honored, Aubrey. I take it this piece is one of the ones you’re working on for your comeback?”
“That it is, Bryan. Is that excitement I detect in your voice?”
Bryan sighed. Aubrey was apparently stuck on being a tease, so he would go along with it. Perhaps it was merely his typical way of communicating. He might have been flattering himself all along thinking that Aubrey had any sort of attraction to him.
“And why wouldn’t I be excited about something you were about to show me?”
Aubrey burst out laughing. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now remember, this is a rough cut so you’re about to get me raw and naked.”
Bryan didn’t feel the need to encourage him so he kept silent even though he was sure Aubrey had paused for effect.
“What’s it called?”
Aubrey’s gaze flitted his way. “Tough Survives.”
“Mmm. I love the sound of it already. And yes, that is definite excitement you’re detecting.”
“I’m so glad to hear that, Bryan.”
The tone of his voice was low and enticing. Bryan couldn’t shake the lingering belief that Aubrey was putting the make on him. This time, his cock did more than twitch. Right as he was becoming genuinely concerned that he might get an erection, the opening lines of Aubrey’s song filled the car. He was beyond being concerned about an arousal. He was fully hard and didn’t care. All he could focus on was the pure sound of Aubrey’s growling tenor against the backdrop of his plaintive acoustic guitar playing. He was right. It was raw and naked, but it was also breathtakingly beautiful.
They sat in silence as the song played. Tears filled Bryan’s eyes as he listened to every pain-filled, vulnerable word. No one created music the way Aubrey did. Nothing had ever been able to touch him on such a primal level as the songs crafted by Aubrey. Riding in his car and being the first to listen to a new song he had just recorded made Bryan wonder why he’d ever been interested in listening to any music other than Aubrey’s at all.
* * * *
Aubrey’s home was stunning and the absolute perfect representation of the singer. It was eclectic, yet elegant. New Agey accessories such as giant rock crystal pieces and moon and star tapestries were mixed in with fifties space age chrome furnishings. Then in another room, there were velvet fringed throws and pillows strewn about on Persian rugs with a modern indoor wall fountain as a backdrop.
Aubrey had set them up at one end of his private studio that featured a dark leather sofa and a beveled glass coffee table so they could eat their food. He shared a few wild tour stories, some of which Bryan had already heard from tabloids—but it was great to hear them from the actual party involved.
Aubrey had repeatedly tried to steer the conversation to Bryan, attempting to get Bryan to reveal more of his private self. If they were trying to form a personal bond of some sort, it would have come across as endearing and thoughtful. But that was not the case. It was supposed to be all about Bryan interviewing Aubrey, questioning him and ultimately, drawing information from him that the artist had never planned on giving in the first place.
They were done with their food and Bryan was pleasantly stuffed. Aubrey relaxed against the back of the sofa. Bryan attempted to clean up and was startled when Aubrey grabbed his wrist. No words would come out of his mouth, so he waited for Aubrey’s next move.
“Leave it, Bryan. I’ll get it later.”
Aubrey released his hold and reclined again, yet his gaze remained locked on him. Bryan swallowed, more than a little unsettled at how thrilling it had been to feel Aubrey’s strong grip on his arm. He couldn’t understand why he was experiencing such confusing emotions. He wanted to reassure himself that it was simply the reaction of an over-zealous fan, but there was something else. Something he didn’t think he was ready to contemplate.
“Let’s chill for a bit. Get to know each other more before we begin the hard stuff.”
Bryan obeyed, making certain that he stayed on his side of the couch. “When do we make this official?”
“This?” Aubrey raised his eyebrows, smiling coyly.
“Our professional venture.”
Aubrey frowned and used his pouty lip again. “Oh. That.” He sighed. “I already had my manager send the paperwork to your agent. He’ll probably contact you shortly in regards to it.”
“I assume there will be a standard non-disclosure for the duration of the creation of your story?”
; Aubrey made an almost comically exaggerated gesture of shrugging.
Bryan chuckled. “So I imagine there won’t be much in the way of disclosing until then.”
Inclining his head, Aubrey gazed at him in that intense way that Bryan loved. His look alone seemed to reveal absolutely everything.
“I’m finding myself not giving a shit about the agreement since I first laid eyes on you today, Bryan.”
Bryan didn’t dare delve any further into that statement.
“Can you at least let me know what the compulsion is for you to tell your story at this moment in history?”
“Is that the most important thing you want to know about me right now, Bryan?”
His voice was oh so smooth and inviting. It took Bryan in directions that were inappropriate, confusing and unnerving. None of those directions involved the reason he’d wanted the assignment with Aubrey. None of them involved Bryan reaching his career goals.
“No, I… It’s one of them.”
I need to keep the control here, stay on point.
“I surmised that you might be about to reveal to the world that you’re gay and that was why you chose to put your memoir out at this time—correct?”
There. That was the interviewer at work. That was how he gleaned information from his subjects. He let them know he wasn’t intimidated by their secrets. But Aubrey wasn’t one of his subjects.
“That’s part of it. Okay, now it’s my turn. Are you about to reveal to me that you’re gay?”
Bryan inhaled sharply. “I’m not gay.” Even to his own ears it had come off overly adamant. “I suppose we should wait until I’ve signed the paperwork before we continue…” He went to push himself up from the couch.
“Bryan, wait.”
Aubrey rested his hand lightly on Bryan’s arm, and Bryan stopped, still perched at the edge of the cushion.
“I don’t give a fuck about the agreements. Talk to me. Me. Not the singer, not the star. The man. I trust you, Bryan, I know you wouldn’t betray a confidence, and I wouldn’t betray yours.”
“Trust me? We just met a couple of hours ago.”
“I already told you, Bryan, I go after what I want. I’ve researched you the way you have me and once I met the real man in person, I was even more taken. Don’t tell me you don’t follow your heart. I wouldn’t believe that from someone who speaks the language of music the way we both do.”
Something told Bryan he was in deep trouble and that there would soon be a point where he wouldn’t be able to go back. There wouldn’t be a do-over and he might really fuck things up for his career. But he couldn’t stop himself. Couldn’t take his eyes off the vision so close to him.
“What do you want?”
“Let’s start with what you want, Bryan. So you’re not gay. Not at all? Not even bi-curious?”
A hint of anger snaked into Bryan’s gut. “Is this some sort of game for you, Aubrey? Are you into deflowering straight guys, seeing if you can get your way, then dumping them afterwards?”
“Actually, they usually dump me after they get what they want and are disgusted that they let a gay man, any man, do such unnatural things to them.” He sighed, a melancholy sound. “Unfortunately, that’s been the pattern. Not much different than your situation with your girlfriends. My dalliances didn’t speak the language either.”
Bryan flushed, surprised at how empathetic he felt toward Aubrey. He decided to allow the topic of conversation to continue.
“No. Not bi-curious, not ever.”
“Even now?”
He wanted to look away, keep himself from facing what was suddenly at the forefront of his mind. Peering down, he saw that his hands trembled. Fear clutched at him but something even stronger battled for dominance. Unexpected lust. Desire. Even though he knew it would only lead to trouble and sadness for them both, he didn’t seem to be able to stop it. Why couldn’t he simply fall back on what he knew best? Let his journalistic instincts take over?
He took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter, Aubrey. The only thing that’s important is the work I do on your story. I need to remain focused on that. Anything personal about me is irrelevant.”
Aubrey laughed heartily. “I strongly disagree. Everything personal about you is incredibly relevant to me.”
Bryan pressed his lips together as he furrowed his brow. His frustration was real and he couldn’t properly interpret its source. It had to be because Aubrey was being purposely obtuse. It wouldn’t do for him to consider that it might also be because he wanted to find out just how bi-curious he might be after all.
Bryan shook his head and chuckled nervously.
Aubrey scooted toward him and Bryan tensed up. Aubrey placed one hand on the cushion between them and pitched forward so that he was angled closer to Bryan.
“Forget about the job, Bryan. You have it, no matter what—”
Bryan sputtered out his words when he spoke, “I’m not like that, I wouldn’t—”
“Shh, I know. That’s not what I meant. I’m telling you that our professional business has been handled. You no longer need to concern yourself with it. Although I will say that your sense of integrity is very, very sexy. But all I care about right now is us.”
Aubrey had managed to shift even nearer to him. Bryan was able to pick up on his earthy scent. There was an essence of sandalwood and other woodsy aromas that surrounded the singer. It wasn’t cloying or off-putting. It was alluring.
Oh, shit.
“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do. I was merely hoping you might give me a chance. I’m not even referring to sex—necessarily—I only mean giving how you feel about me a chance. You’re attracted to me, I can tell. I’m willing to throw myself at your mercy.”
Bryan shifted where he sat, trying not to come across so nervous. “Mercy? I don’t understand.”
“Here’s something else about me you don’t know. I’m incredibly foolish when it comes to men. I get attached even when I know there likely isn’t any possibility for my affections to be returned.”
“Because you only go after straight men, right?”
Aubrey chuckled. “Correct. See? You know me already.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t reveal your hand like that. Maybe you need to be more coy.”
“I always have been.”
Bryan arched his eyebrows. “You’re not being very coy right now.”
“I don’t think I read you wrong. You aren’t interested in games, only the truth. It occurred to me the more I learned about you that honesty was the piece that’s been missing for me since I became famous. It used to be the main thing that mattered to me, was what drove my songwriting. But this industry is so riddled with bullshit that it can be easy to step right in it without realizing it until it’s too late. Until you’re covered with the stink of it. I needed to take the last ten years to scrape it off before I could make any real music again and…”
As Aubrey lowered his head and cleared his throat, Bryan could have sworn he saw tears welling up in his eyes.
“Yes, Aubrey. You read me right.”
Bryan spoke softly, the sudden urge to take Aubrey’s hand next to impossible to resist, yet he restrained himself. Aubrey lifted his chin and locked his gaze on Bryan’s.
“I want to find someone. Someone who speaks the language and is honest and is real and who makes me so hard that I want to fuck him all the time.” Aubrey shifted forward more. “Are you that someone, Bryan?”
Holy, Jesus.
“I don’t know.” Wait, no. The answer is no, not even a chance, there isn’t the slightest possibility.
Except that his lengthening cock seemed to know more than he did at the moment. He clenched his hands, terrified, sweat breaking out on his forehead as the heat crept up his neck again.
“I’ll only go as far as you let me. I can take it so very slow for you. One kiss, Bry, that’s all. If you’re repulsed by it then we’ll both have our answer, won’t we?”
He co
uld see the weird logic in Aubrey’s proposal. He could protest and insist and stamp his feet that his straight card was platinum and for life, yet he couldn’t exactly ignore the electricity surging between them. And it was impossible not to notice that his dick was leaking in anticipation of the soft caress of Aubrey’s lips on his own.
“Okay.” His voice had sounded so small that he was embarrassed by it.
Aubrey exhaled, the warmth of his spice tinged breath fanning across Bryan’s cheek.
“Thank you.”
Aubrey reached for him with one hand and placed it lightly on the side of his face. Bryan jumped a bit and his breath accelerated. Never had he been so nervous. He couldn’t discern how much of it was from lust and how much was from fear. Using his thumb, Aubrey caressed him, keeping it gentle. Leaning forward, he tilted his head slightly, then pressed his mouth to Bryan’s.
Aubrey stilled and Bryan had no idea what to do. He was frozen. The thrill of them being so close, so intimate, was incredible. There was no revulsion at all. In reality, his erection had taken on an uncomfortable throbbing sensation and his balls ached. Bryan felt the wet tip of Aubrey’s tongue as he licked his upper lip, undoubtedly testing, tasting.
I need to taste too.
He opened his mouth, a needy invitation that Aubrey didn’t hesitate to accept. Aubrey plunged in, no longer holding back, taking whatever he could where Bryan had given him permission. He placed his other hand on Bryan’s face to steady him as he deepened the kiss, the passion building to where Bryan answered back with his own desperate swipes.
No, there wasn’t revulsion—there was only heat and desire and yearning.
He almost took charge as he’d typically done with the women in his life, but he didn’t long for that with Aubrey. It somehow didn’t feel natural to be that way with him. Instead, he craved whatever Aubrey’s demands on his body might be. It suddenly became vitally important that he find out what those demands were.
As Aubrey brushed his hands down Bryan’s arms then pulled him closer at the waist, Bryan melted within Aubrey’s embrace. He detected Aubrey’s smile against his mouth even as he refused to break their kiss, and somehow that spurred Bryan on. Pressing against Aubrey, he made it known that he wanted more, wanted him.
