I’m not sure of the exact date or time, I lost my watch a while ago, I’m finding it hard to keep track.
This diary entry is not a planned one, and I’m sorry if you end up reading it, it will not add any depth to your understanding of the nuclear war, it’s more a type of self-medication. I’m presently struggling to keep control of my feelings stuck in this box with no chance of getting out any time soon, I’m slowly crawling up the walls. My heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest, I cannot keep control of its speed, only breathing exercises tame the onslaught on my nerves. I feel physically exhausted, my body is weak and aches. Just not being able to stand up is driving me fucking insane, stuck in the same position, with the same pains minute by minute, unable to do anything about it. The darkness breeds despair, all manor of horror reveals itself. The only way to dispel it, the thing that will make everything seem better, is the one thing I cannot do. Just turning on a light would allay my fears, but it’s the one thing I cannot do, I have to sit here in the darkness with my thoughts. I’m going to talk for a while about things that will hopefully calm me down, if I ramble I apologize, it wasn’t supposed to be read.
Living in a city while studying turned my head after spending my childhood on a farm in Scotland, when I finished college I wanted to experience more of the city life, so I settled in Preston after four years studying art and design at university. With the printed greeting card industry folding in two thousand and seventeen, I got a job illustrating electronic cards sent via personal computers and phones. While in this job, fresh from university, I would meet my best friend in the pub at dinner once a week for a catch up. One Wednesday I was waiting for him in the pool room when I noticed a lady standing at the bar, she had long blond hair, very pretty, dressed in a ladies work suit. We made eye contact briefly and that was it, a couple of minutes later I noticed John (my friend) was standing at her side talking to her, so I wandered over to them and was introduced to Jane. He had decided to bring along a work colleague thinking we would get on, and we did. It took a while for us to hook up, over a year. In that time, with my feelings for Jane, I had to stand by as she went through a couple of relationships, while our friendship grew, her relationships petered out. I was always happier going into a relationship with the foundation of friendship, within six months of being together we had Emma on the way, which was a good way of testing if the relationship was strong enough, and it was. We moved in together in two thousand and nineteen, a terrace house in a small town in Lancashire called Simonstone. As soon as we realised Emma was due, we talked about getting married, but the cost was a problem. My parents farm was struggling and Jane’s parents had fallen out with her years ago, I got the feeling she had been a rebellious teenager. She also had her heart set on being a nurse, so was training rather than working. It took a few years but we finally got married on July sixteenth, two thousand and twenty two. It was a beautiful day, a three year old Emma was our bridesmaid, I know its a cliché but it really was the best day of my life. Jane looked amazing, I’d never been happier. I always wanted another child, only one mind, a boy. Jane did too, but ever the practical woman, she wanted to wait until Emma had started school, so we did. Only three months after our wedding day Jane gave me the news I had hoped for, she was pregnant, and it was a boy. We were so happy, months were spent debating possible names with three in the running, James, Edward and George. James was my choice and Jane wanted George, I never had a chance really, I caught her calling her bump George on many occasions, so it was agreed. Jane was a very strong willed lady, determined at best of times, plain stubborn at the worst. On June the eleventh, two thousand and twenty three she was thirty two weeks pregnant and it showed, but she was determined to carry on as normal. On that particular morning she wanted to take Emma shopping for her school uniform, as she was due to start at St. Thomas Church of England Primary School in the new term. So I said my good-byes and went to work, not giving it a second thought. I remember two policemen turning up at my office and looking around the room, it was around ten thirty a.m. When they walked over to my desk with my boss, I knew something had happened, and it wasn’t going to be good news.‘Nathan Driver?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m sorry I have some bad news for you, your wife and child have been involved in a serious car crash.’
I didn’t hear any more of the conversation, I went into a kind of trance. I couldn’t hear anything, my vision went, everything was white. The next thing I remember was being driven to the hospital by the two officers, sat in the back as my eyesight started to come back, watching bits of colour from the countryside flash by. The officers wouldn’t tell me what had happened or how Jane and Emma were, so I obviously feared the worst. It never really felt like it was happening, I was watching from somewhere above myself, looking down, it was a dream and I would soon wake up. I was convinced they were both dead, otherwise they would have told me they weren’t. I remember running through the hospital in a blind panic, it’s strange to say it, but when I found out Jane had died but Emma had survived I laughed, that was my first reaction. I laughed hysterical, then cried and cried hugging Emma, I couldn’t let go of her. Jane had died instantly, so too George, but Emma had come out almost untouched. She was only three and didn’t understand what had happened or the consequences, she thought her mum would come back home soon, it was heartbreaking, children shouldn’t be growing up without their mother, particularly girls.
It would have been easier if I had been given someone to blame for Jane’s death, like a drunk driver, but it wasn’t the case. It was her own fault, she died because she wasn’t concentrating and lost control of the car, hitting a lamppost. For months I was so angry at her, for leaving us like that, in such a stupid way. As the anger subsided it was replaced by heartbreak, the woman I had planned out my life with had gone, I couldn’t understand how God would allow this to happen. Why would he feel the need to take someone who had nothing but good in her heart, a loving mother, but leave murderers and paedophiles to roam the streets. I had many heated arguments with our priest about it, he claimed it was God’s plan, she was happy now, but what about me? What about Emma? I was that angry, I stopped her starting at the church school, and moved back to Scotland. It took along time for the pain to stop controlling my life, I eventually grew to cope with it, it never goes away but I can block it. I don’t think I could have got through it without the strength of my parents though, I owe them so much, they have been amazing with Emma. I feel better for getting things off my chest, it’s calmed me down quite a bit, hopefully it didn’t bore you too much. I plan to make one more diary entry before surfacing.
11/10/2027 - Time 21:00 - twenty one days until resurfacing.
I fought the desire to open the door and go outside, I was pushed hard to the brink, but I came back to face my demons. At my lowest ebb, I was visited by Jane, she appeared in a dream as beautiful as the first day I saw her. Her skin was white, her long flowing blond hair, in a blinding light. She spoke softly and told me to be strong for Emma, she was waiting for me, I just had to believe. I needed a purpose, and I found one. It was a turning point, I had a reason to pull myself together. I found my watch, and started to countdown towards the day I could re-surface, that was all I needed, a light at the end of this stinking sewer tunnel. I started to prepare using the map, even though it was weeks away. I planned the route I will drive back to Edinburgh. I thought it would be advisable to stick to the major roads, hopefully the clean up is well under way. It will be around a ten hour drive, giving myself a bit extra time for unforeseen circumstances. I have no real idea of what lies ahead, but I hope to reclaim my life, after it almost claimed me. I have also been working on regaining my strength by devising some exercises I can do inside this box, by putting my knees on the floor and my feet pushed up against the wall, I can just about do some push-ups. Sit-ups are easy, by keeping my feet on the floor I can push my legs parallel to the wall, then I lie on my back with my head an inch off the wa
ll. I have been exercising for around twenty days now and can feel a massive difference in my physical and mental state, I’m feeling far more positive about what’s to come. I’m also happy to report I’ve made a new friend while down here, about ten days ago while searching for the source of an annoying drip, I found a friendly spider. He had made a home for himself in the darkness above my head, I felt like we made a connection, he too had chosen this box to hide from the world. I have taken to telling him about what happened, I think he understands. I do worry about him though, I haven’t seen or heard a fly this entire time, however there is plenty of moisture in here, maybe too much. I will continue to gain strength in preparation for November the first, the day I start my journey back to Emma.
31/10/2027 - Time 11:35 - one day until resurfacing.
The more time I have had to think about it, the more I fear for the state of our biosphere, the aftermath of a nuclear war will be catastrophic, our planet might never recover. I am making a small final diary entry before I go back to the surface tomorrow, I have no real idea what I will find but I’m excited, if slightly apprehensive. I have regained as much strength as is possible and feel ready, both physically and mentally. I feel positive the governments of the world will have had action plans for such an eventuality, and the operation to implement them will be well under way. As I write this, I’m sitting in complete darkness except for my flickering torchlight, I have packed my bag apart from a tin of corn beef and a tin of peaches for my tea, and a tin of beans for breakfast tomorrow. Hopefully my next diary entry will be describing a successful resurfacing.
CHAPTER THREE
3/11/2027 - Time 14:07 continued
Lee looked motionless, sprawled out on the ash covered ground. Steve, Simon and myself ran over to Roy, who was still out cold. We turned him onto his front, opening up his airways, his nose and mouth were full of blood, but he was still breathing. I knelt down by his side to clean the blood from his mouth when Steve suddenly stood up and started walking towards Lee, picking his gun up on route. I ran after him, noticing Lee was moving slightly, dust was rising from his twitching legs. ‘You mother fucker, I should shoot you where you lie.’
‘Hold on’ I shouted. ‘Don’t kill him.’
‘Why not? He set us up, he’s a fucking dog who deserves to die.’ Steve’s gun was pointing at Lee, his finger was on the trigger, I moved my hand across the weapon until it was pointing at the floor.
‘Lee, where are they taking her?’ I asked, kneeling down next to his spasming body, there was a small pool of blood around his torso and a gaping wound in his chest.
‘I’m sorry Roy’ he said, unaware of who he was talking to. ‘They took my wife, they made me do it.’
‘Who made you do it?’
‘They said they would give her to the creatures unless I gave them two females’ he said, blood spurting from his mouth. ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t let them do that to Amanda’ he said, his voice growing fainter with every word.
‘Where are they taking her?’
‘To the creatures, they take them to Edenfield Mill’ he said, pointing in the general direction the truck went. His voice was beginning to fail, and the colour was evaporating from his skin. ‘They keep them in the main building, at the back.’
I asked Lee what they are doing to them? But he didn’t respond, he had gone, but was still suffering. I got the gun from my bag and placed it against his forehead, sweat was beading at his hairline, his eyes were half open, watching me. He was pleading to his mother, muttering incoherently, I put my finger on the trigger and there was a sharp thud as the bullet hit the road, I closed his eyes and walked back to the others. When Roy came around, he was distressed and determined to rescue Nancy. We didn’t need any convincing, Nancy’s kindness had saved the brothers and they were prepared to risk everything for her, and I wasn’t about to leave them under these circumstances, plus I knew where Edenfield Mill was, having worked nearby. Roy had lost a tooth to the butt of a gun, but bar a bust lip and a two inch cut to his cheek, he was OK. We had no real time to organise the rescue, only as we walked. The journey was tough through awful conditions, by nine seventeen p.m. we reached the outskirts of Edenfield, and the freezing conditions were taking a toll on our already battered bodies. We were met by the grim sight of dead bodies littering the forest on our approach, they were mainly men, who had all died in the same way. They had very precise holes in their heads and bodies, not bullet holes, there was no sign of singeing around the wound, their heads hadn’t exploded at the back where the bullet exited, the hole never changed diameter. A perfect laser like hole, not a wound I’ve ever seen before, looking up at the trees around us I noticed similar looking holes in them, holes everywhere, dead branches littered the ground. It was quickly agreed this was not the route to take, so we back tracked to the main road, just as the unmistakable sound of a vehicle filled the air. We hid behind a burned out car as an army people carrier drove past heading towards the factory, kicking up the layer of black ash covering the road. The vehicle’s tyre marks imprinted in the ash, showing us the route we would have to take. The road looked to have been travelled frequently, the ash had turned into a kind of thick sludge. Simon had a pair of binoculars which he put to his eyes and observed what was happening, the front of the building was around two hundred yards away, it consisted of two small buildings and one large one, all surrounded by a ten foot high brick wall. The entrance was guarded by seven armed men, that I could see. They were drawn to the approaching vehicle like moths to a flame, jumping up and down to keep warm as it arrived. When it came to a stop, one guard walked around to the side door, as two men climbed out of the cab, and greeted them. After a few seconds, the group walked around the vehicle to the back, and opened the double doors. We couldn’t see inside the truck from our position, but it wasn’t a surprise to find women being hauled off. They were lined up one by one in a long row, there must have been more than seventy. While this was happening, two guards brought out a large crate and put it on the floor by the truck, before it was lifted and pushed onto the back of the truck. Another figure appeared from inside the building, a small individual, the size of a seven year old child. I couldn’t get a good look at them, they stayed within the shadow of the large mill, dressed entirely in black. He just observed what was happening from afar, as though he was somehow entitled. The guard who seemed in charge, started to slowly walk along the line of women one by one, stopping and inspecting each individually. When he reached the tenth he stopped and raised his hands to her head, she dropped to the floor in a heap, as the women around her started screaming. At first I was confused, it wasn’t clear what had happened, but it became clear. He continued his inspection stopping at the twentieth who also fell to the floor, we could do nothing, it was difficult to watch. The women were all panicking, crying, but they couldn’t move, they were tied together. Two other guards appeared from behind the truck, and started to cut the bodies free, loading them onto an old wheelbarrow. The women in thirtieth position met the same fate, with the pattern continuing until a girl, no more than twelve, realised she was next in line, and got free. She tried to escape but was shot in the leg, collapsing to the floor. The men grabbed her by the arms and dragged her back to the guard where she was lined up against a wall and shot in the head, her body was then thrown onto the cart. Why this was done we didn’t know, I can only imagine it’s some form of scare tactic. If you don’t do as we say, we will have no hesitation in killing you.
Aftermath: The Complete Collection (Books 1 & 2) Page 4
