“Oh, that’s not good.”
“No, Mum, it’s not. And you want to know why? Why I make the choice to sleep in my swag rather than on the pillow top mattress upstairs? Because I can’t stand being in this house when you two are fighting.”
“Son. Watch your mouth,” Dad warned, setting down his paper. It seemed I had their full attention now. Shame now wasn’t the time I wanted it. When I wanted it, when I needed it, where were they then? Oh that’s right! They were too busy belittling and backstabbing each other to remember that they even had a son.
“No, Dad, I can’t. ’Cause I’m sick of this. You two don’t want to be together, then it’s easy. Don’t be. But this…this fucked up situation we’ve somehow ended up in, this can’t go on. You both need to make a decision and stick to it. Either the fighting and bitching stops and things go back to normal, or they change. But this…this bullshit, I can’t do it anymore.”
With matching stunned expressions, they remained silent. Even now, hours later, I’m not sure whether their silence was a good thing or not. Finishing my breakfast, I scoured the quad looking for her. I had no reason to believe Holly would show, but I found myself hoping. Hanging out with her yesterday was cool. She was so easy to talk to. Well, right up ’til the minute she wasn’t.
The bell rang, and with no sign of her, I heaved my bag over my shoulder and shuffled off towards maths. God, I hoped the next hour went quickly.
It didn’t.
It dragged on forever.
At one point I was so bored I started staring out the window trying to count how many branches the tree outside had. I guess that was maths in an around about way. When the bell sounded, I was gone. The eight-minute gap between classes might not seem like something to look forward to, but I couldn’t help it. So far it was proving to be the best part of my morning.
After swinging past the parking lot and dumping my text books on the backseat, I grabbed the paper bag and headed for my next class. I despised English more than maths, and that was saying something. I didn’t get why we had to read such outdated, boring ass bullshit. What was the point? Why couldn’t they teach us something I’d actually be able to use later on? Like how to read a contract?
I don’t know if I was cynical and jaded because I knew it didn’t matter whether or not I even passed…my future was already set. It was in motion. Like a runaway train, it couldn’t be stopped. From the moment I was born it was that way. And honestly, it wasn’t worth even dreaming about something more. I’d run the farm, and one day, I’d inherit it all. Some days I hated that the choice had been taken away from me, but then I saw others struggling as they tried to weigh up what they wanted to be when they grew up, I realised I was lucky.
Finishing my cookie, I tossed the paper bag in the bin and stepped into another hour-long snooze fest. Well, usually it was a snooze fest, but today it was looking up. Sitting in the desk next to mine, one that was usually empty, was a frightened looking brunette with her hair hanging around her face like a shield.
“Hiding from someone?” I asked as I squatted down to her height.
Obviously startled by my sudden appearance, she jumped in her seat, her knee banging loudly on the underside of the wooden table. When her eyes met mine, I knew it wasn’t just me who terrified her. This chick was afraid of her own shadow. Part of me felt incredibly sad for her. If Holly didn’t toughen up, or at least don a mask thick enough to fake the courage she obviously didn’t have, she was going to get eaten alive. Some of the girls around here were toxic. And Holly, she was sure as shit bound to be a target.
“Shit, Holly! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she deflected effortlessly, almost as if it was a practiced reflex.
Even though I knew she was lying, I let it slide. I could only imagine how hard it must be starting a new school. Being the shiny new toy. Everyone pointing at you. Speculating why you’re there and where you’ve come from. Starting rumours of your past. A past Holly was apparently trying to outrun.
“So, you’re doing advanced English?”
“Yeah. They think that’s where I’ll fit best.”
“Does that mean you’re going to be neighbourly and help me with my homework?” I winked. I heard the words come out of my mouth and wanted to cringe. I sounded like a creeper trying to hit on her. If anything, all I wanted to do was make her smile. If making an ass of myself helped achieve that, well, I’d be the biggest ass this school had ever seen. Something told me Holly needed a clown in her life, and if the red nose fit…
“I…I…”
“Don’t sweat it! I was just kidding.” Dropping into my seat, I yanked my dogeared notebook from my backpack and a copy of Great Expectations. “Have you read this one? I can help you, if you want.”
“I got this.”
Whoa! Who the hell is this chick and where did she come from? Noticing the small smirk on her lips, I leant back to see what would happen next. Holly was a mystery. Yesterday I hadn’t seen sass, but it was undoubtedly there.
While I flicked through my notebook trying to find what we’d done last lesson, the room filled up. When Caitlyn and Amber strutted through the door, I sat up a little straighter. I wished Holly was sitting anywhere but next to me. Sitting next to me wasn’t going to protect her from those two, yet at the same time I couldn’t imagine her sitting anywhere else. If she was going to get through today, then I was going to be there every step of the way. And that meant keeping her close.
“New friend, Jack?”
“She got a name?”
I heard Holly hiss under her breath. Or at least that’s what it sounded like. Glancing across at her, I suddenly became worried at how pale she was. Her face was white and her lips almost translucent.
“Give it a rest, why don’t you?” Thankfully that was the moment the teacher, cranky ass Ms. Johnstone, stomped in. For someone so obsessed with the romantic classics, as she called them, she certainly was in a pissy mood most of the time. Maybe it was because she needed to get laid. It couldn’t be easy having book boyfriends coming out of her ears and only her toys to keep her company.
With her appearance, Caitlyn and Amber tottered off to their seats in the back corner, no doubt to gossip. These days I didn’t give a fuck if I was the subject of their taunts. If they were bitching about me, they were leaving someone else alone. I could take it. I wasn’t so sure everyone else could. And I was sure Holly couldn’t. For some reason though, something in the pit of my stomach rumbled around and told me it wouldn’t be long before she became their new favourite target. All I could do was hope she’d let me protect her from their petty bullshit.
“Oh, Holly, nice of you to join us today. I had you down to start yesterday…” At Ms. Johnstone’s words, Holly slid down in her chair. She was trying to make herself as small as possible. I guess she was trying to go unnoticed. It wasn’t working. Everyone noticed her. How could we not? She was stunning. Not in a superficial ‘look at me, look at me’ way. More in a natural, girl next door way. Almost like she was embarrassed by those incredible tits she was hunched over trying to hide.
“I’m sorry,” she apologised quickly with the same small, shaky voice she had when I’d found her cowering on the side of the road.
With a dismissive wave, Ms. Johnstone summoned Holly up in front of the entire class. She wrung her hands in front of her and kept her head bowed. I wanted to go to her and tell her to stand tall. Not to be afraid. To believe she was where she needed to be. The longer she looked at her feet, shifting back and forth nervously, the bigger target she was painting on her chest. And her chest was too damn nice to have a target on it.
“Why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself?” Ms. Johnstone invited, seemingly unaware of the anxiety she was causing. Or if she was aware, she was even more of a heartless bitch than I gave her credit for.
“Umm…I grew up here. I went to primary school here before going to boarding school in Sydney. Now I’m back.” It was the quickest, most vague,
most impersonal introduction I’d ever sat through. Holly stepped back towards her chair, but Ms. Johnstone wasn’t done yet. When her hand landed on Holly’s shoulder, Holly squealed, jumped, and ran from the classroom.
Fuck me! If she wasn’t in their sights before, she was now.
I turned in my seat like everyone else, watching Holly flee. In all my years at school I’d never seen someone run so dramatically from a classroom. Part of me wondered how much shit she’d be in for it, but I was more worried she was okay. Trying to shake it off, I turned back to the front and noticed the stunned, kinda pissed off expression on Johnstone’s face. She didn’t like this. Not one little bit.
“Is anyone friends with Miss McIntyre?” she asked, not even bothering to hide the venom in her voice. For a teacher she wasn’t very sympathetic.
Before I could raise my hand, Caitlyn was out of her seat, scooping up Holly’s books. “I am, Ms. Johnstone. We go way back.” Yeah right. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to stay silent. Calling Caitlyn out on her bullshit right now wouldn’t help anyone. Least of all Holly. “Would you like me to go check on her?”
“Yes, please.”
As Caitlyn threw Holly’s bag over her shoulder, she shot an evil smile in Amber’s direction before almost skipping out the door.
“Right, turn to page eighty-three.” And so the longest hour of my life began.
I hated English, and I didn’t have much respect for Ms. Johnstone, but today I found myself focused on everything that was happening, instead of my usual daydreaming and taking extra notes. I knew I’d be sharing them with Holly. That is, if she ever came back. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t.
The bell rung, and as quick I as I could stuff everything in my bag, I was out the door. Not fast enough to avoid hearing Amber’s thoughts as the rest of the class filtered out.
“Caitlyn couldn’t find her. Wonder where she went? Hopefully back where she came from. I mean, did you see what she was wearing?”
Girls were nothing but nasty ass bitches sometimes. Holly was wearing the same school uniform that Caitlyn and Amber wore. It wasn’t like some fancy ass American high school where it was a fashion parade every damn day. Everyone wore the same. If anything, Holly wore it slightly better than everyone else cause of that incredible rack she was hiding.
I was slightly worried. Holly might have grown up here, but I certainly didn’t remember her. I wish I did, but she hadn’t been home in a long time. Not like this, anyway. Digging my phone from my pocket, I wasn’t shocked to see she hadn’t even bothered to message me, but even I could admit I was disappointed. With my stomach rumbling, something it never seemed to stop doing these days, I headed towards the parking lot. I needed a hamburger. There was no way some bullshit sandwich from the school canteen was going to satisfy me.
Jumping in the ute, I fired it up and took off down the street. I could have walked. I should have, but I didn’t know how long I’d be. With Biology up next, there was a good chance I’d be enjoying a long lunch today. It wasn’t until I reversed into the spot right out the front of the takeaway that I saw a mop of long brown hair on my backseat, buried under the pile of blankets and pillows.
Silencing the music, I turned off the ignition and undid my seatbelt before spinning in my seat. Holly was covered almost from head to toe. It was no wonder I hadn’t seen her. She was doing her best not to be seen. I found myself morbidly wondering how often she did that. With her eyes closed, her breathing was steady and soft. She looked so peaceful. Not like she did barely an hour earlier. As hard as it was to walk away from her, I figured she could use the sleep.
Jumping out, I ducked in and ordered my hamburger and grabbed some extra chips. I didn’t know if Holly would wake up and want to eat or want to rip my head off for abducting her, even though technically she fell asleep in my car without my knowledge. With girls though, you could never tell how they were going to react one minute to the next.
Even though the takeaway shop was deserted, I couldn’t sit still. Instead I leant against the window and watched my ute. Around here cars were very rarely locked. There was no point. Everyone knew everyone, so what was the point? Chances are your families were friends and all hell would break loose if you even pulled some dumb ass prank that got taken the wrong way. Today though, not only had I locked the doors, but I couldn’t peel my eyes off it. There was precious cargo inside, even if she didn’t believe she was.
“Here you go,” the greasy old guy, Jeff, called out from behind the counter. He wore a white apron, which was splattered with grease and gunk. This takeaway place, besides being the only one within a half hour drive, actually had pretty decent food. It was always hot and tasty, and I’d eaten more than my fair share and lived to tell the tale. You just didn’t ask questions. You just quietly handed over your money, took your food, and walked away. Asking questions could have you gagging.
A minute later I dumped the food on the passenger seat and headed towards the river. At least it was quiet down there. When I pulled up, I could see the water barrelling along. All the rain over the last couple of days meant the river was angry and dangerous, but strangely enough, no less peaceful. I backed down the slope under the shade of the tree, cracked the windows, and checked on Holly. I felt like a creeper staring at her through the window. I just couldn’t help myself. She was beautiful and she had no idea. I got the feeling that once upon a time she did know she was a princess. Hell, growing up as the only girl on the McInytre farm, I have no doubt that’s exactly how she’d been treated, but she’d either forgotten or someone had convinced her otherwise. Sadly, I thought it was the latter.
Sitting on the tailgate, I bit into my hamburger and as usual ended up covered in it from the first bite. The mix of tomato, pineapple, and beetroot juice ran down my arm, while the gooey egg dripped on my thighs. It was so worth it though. There was no point cleaning myself up until I finished. I’d downed enough of these bad boys over the years to know, it was only going to get worse before it got better.
“You look like you’re enjoying that,” the sweetest voice I’d ever heard commented out of nowhere, making me almost drop the burger in my lap.
“Holy shit, Holly, you scared me! Are you some kind of ninja or something?”
“Huh?”
“How’d you get out of the car so quietly?”
“Oh. I didn’t. You were just moaning so loudly you didn’t hear me.”
“Oh.”
She jumped up on the tailgate beside me and stole a chip. The playful sneakiness in her eyes made her look a hell of a lot happier than she was in class. I didn’t tell her that I’d bought the chips for her, seemed like that might dull her sparkle…something I never wanted to be responsible for.
For a while we just sat there eating side by side, saying nothing. Holly was confusing the shit out of me. I didn’t know her, not really, but here she was once again in the middle of nowhere completely alone with me and she didn’t look at all freaked. In fact, she looked more comfortable out here than she did surrounded with people. I’m sure there was a story there, one she’d tell me if she wanted to, but right now, the silence was enough. I finished my burger and attempted to clean myself up with the wad of napkins.
Holly’s soft, girly giggle broke the silence. “You’ve got that everywhere!”
“Shut up!”
Jumping down, I stomped up to the front door and grabbed the wet wipes from the glove box. I never thought I’d see the day when I kept a packet of wet wipes in the car, at least not until there was a baby seat in the back, but there they were. Living out of your car meant adjusting. My glove box now contained batteries for my torch, wet wipes, deodorant, a razor, chewing gum, a toothbrush and toothpaste, as well as a bottle of water. The necessities were all there. Right now, I was thankful they were.
Now my fingers weren’t sticky and my face wasn’t covered in sauce, I went back to where Holly sat, swinging her legs back and forth. She looked nervous and maybe a little afraid. I did
n’t like that. Not one bit. She should never be afraid of me, and she needed to know that. I’d hurt myself before I’d ever hurt her.
“What’s freaking you out, chicken?”
“Chicken?”
“Yeah. I kinda like it for you. What do you think?”
“I’ve been called worse.” She shrugged and I found myself yet again wondering if I’d put my big foot in it.
Not having a clue how to respond to that, I was a guy after all, I pretended like she hadn’t said it and tried again. “Wanna tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
“Do I have to?”
“Might help.”
“Might not.”
“True. But can it hurt to try?”
Her eyes filled with tears instantly as they balanced on her long eyelashes. How someone could look so damn cute and so sad in the same moment baffled me. And when she parted her pink lips and spoke, her voice cracked under the weight of her words. “Everything can hurt.” Well, fuck me sideways. Maybe this chick was too much for me after all. As much as I wanted to help her, as much as I wanted to save her, maybe Holly’s scars were still to raw for me to cope with. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was make things harder for her, but I wasn’t exactly convinced I could make them better.
I needed a moment.
I needed some space.
I needed to stop looking at her and wishing I could take away all her pain and suffering and make it my own.
I needed to stop wondering who’d done this to her.
I needed to stop wishing I knew who I had to hurt to make them undo the damage they’d done.
Walking away, I found myself standing on the edge of the river watching the rough water as it bounced off rocks and dragged branches along. It was a dirty, disgusting green colour. We’d all swum in it, of course, and I wish I could say that I’d been young and stupid when I’d jumped off the bridge into the murky waters below. The truth was, it was barely a month ago. A dare’s a dare. Around here, when you’re dared to do something, you man up and jump.
Fighting Back (Meet the McIntyres Book 3) Page 6
