“Hush,” he told her harshly. Though she managed to hold on to him, her grip was weak. “You truly must be out of your mind. Why would you get atop the horse if you knew that you could not handle it? What would you have done had I not gone after you? Simply slide right off and let him trample you?”
To his surprise, her lips lifted into a half-smile. The sight made his heart flutter and it didn’t help the fact that he was very aware of how perfectly she fit against him. And how lovely it felt to have her bust pressed against his chest. Try as he might to ignore it, his body could not do the same.
“You sound worried for me,” she murmured. Her lashes parted and his chest constricted when she leveled her slightly disoriented gaze on him. “That is a start, I suppose.”
William wrenched his eyes away, annoyed with himself. Without stopping to think, scooped her into his arms. Elizabeth let out a small gasp.
“William, I don’t think—”
“You don’t think what?” he snapped. “You said it yourself. I’m not a brute. I’m not going to leave you out here to fend for yourself.”
“I know that but…” She couldn’t finish her thought as he heaved her on top of his horse, her legs kept on one side. William kept his hands on her hips, willing himself not to move them further up. Nor further down.
“Can you keep yourself upright?” he asked.
Swallowing, she nodded. William wrenched his eyes away from her and proceeded to get atop the horse behind her. He didn’t move for a second, then he wrapped his arms around her waist and took hold of the reins.
Elizabeth was quiet. She seemed to be holding her breath, in fact, her body held so rigidly that he was afraid he might snap her in half. As they set off, William tried to keep his eyes on the stables in the distance, to ignore the silkiness of her hair and the lavender scent that wafted up to his nostrils. He tried not to think about how small her waist was and how good it would feel if she were to lean back against his chest. Her exposed neck proved the biggest difficulty because William was seized by the urge to rest a gentle kiss there and listen to how she moaned.
“What about the horse?” Elizabeth whispered, so softly that he nearly didn’t hear her.
“Someone will come by for it.”
“Oh.” She gripped her riding crop tightly. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I mean—I didn’t think I would grow faint like that. I thought I had it under control.”
William rigidly maintained his silence through a mixture of both frustration and the urge to continue the conversation as if nothing had happened between them. As if he hadn’t left her side for seven years.
“I know I have a deathly fear of horses, but when I was standing before him, I thought I could handle it.”
Why would you think you could handle that all of a sudden?
“Are you upset with me?” she asked tentatively, turning her head to the side as if to look at him.
“Beth,” William couldn’t help but growl. “Words cannot begin to express what I am feeling right now.” It was as close to the truth as he could get.
“Forgive me. I didn’t know I was that weak.”
She sounded dejected with those words and William was hit with the insane urge to console her, to tell her that she was the furthest thing from weak. For her to bravely get atop a beast she was terrified of simply to get a reaction out of him was a feat William had to respect, even though it frustrated him beyond words.
The trip back to the stables was short and fraught with heat—which had nothing to do with the summer sun and everything do with Elizabeth’s gentle curves taunting him from so close. It was all he could do to keep his hands on the reins.
The moment they were back in the stables, the grooms returned. Even though William was certain they were watching, he ignored them, dismounting the horse as quickly as he could. He didn’t bother to give Elizabeth any warning when he caught her by her waist and deftly picked her up off the horse. Her hands instinctively landed on his shoulders and it sent a jolt through his body. The moment her feet touched the ground, William put two steps between them.
“Don’t cause any more trouble,” he said gruffly, not looking at her. He knew she was staring at him, with those large brown eyes that had always been able to bring him to his knees.
“All right,” she responded but he was already walking away.
He needed to get away from her. Work should be able to keep his mind off that encounter. If he buried himself in paperwork, perhaps he would be able to get her scent out of his head, and forget how perfectly she’d felt against his body.
Somehow, he doubted that was possible. But he forged on nonetheless, not stopping until he made his way to his study. There he called for Harold and sat down at this desk staring at nothing. Despite the paperwork and ledgers he had to get through, all he could think about was Elizabeth.
“Your Grace?” came Harold’s voice at the door.
“Come.”
Harold entered and stayed by the door, his hands clasped behind his back, waiting for his order.
“Have gowns ordered for Lady Elizabeth. Dinner gowns, morning gowns, walking gowns. Anything a lady needs. In the meantime, rummage through the late Duchess’ armoire for something suitable for Lady Elizabeth to wear. I believe their figures are similar.”
Harold bowed deeply. “As you wish, Your Grace.” He slipped out silently.
William leaned back in his chair, resting his neck on the back of the chair. He saw nothing as he stared up at the high ceiling. He could only see Elizabeth’s flushed cheeks, her fluttering eyes before she slipped from the horse, the fear that had seized him so strongly that he could still taste it on his tongue.
With that image stark in his mind, forcing himself to push her away grew almost impossible. Instead, he felt those past feelings rise in him, the protectiveness that flourished in her presence. He wanted to keep her as close to him as he possibly could, to make sure that nothing like that could ever happen again.
It was a terrible excuse, he knew, but William also found it difficult to care. The world he’d built was shifting around him and he didn’t know how to put it back together.
Chapter 7
Elizabeth didn’t get the chance to eat dinner with William that night. She’d hoped to, even though she still hadn’t recovered from their encounter at the stables, but had been told that the Duke preferred to have his dinner alone in his study. When she’d asked why he didn’t eat in the dining room, Minnie told her that she was not privy to the particulars, but believed the Duke was simply too busy with work to think of doing otherwise.
That hadn’t sat well with Elizabeth but she knew there was nothing she could do about it. The wall he was so determined to keep between them was as strong as ever, but she intended to keep bashing herself against it, if only to learn the truth of what had happened that day.
The sun rose the next day hidden behind plumes of dark clouds, promising rain. Elizabeth woke early, gazing out her window to see the dark cast that seemed to surround the manor. She never liked the rain very much, preferred having the option of going outside available whenever she wanted. But she didn’t let it get her down today. She was more determined than ever to get under William’s prickly layer to find the man she knew and still loved.
“My Lady,” Minnie greeted her upon entering the room. She smiled kindly at Elizabeth. Elizabeth’s chest warmed at the sight. “Good morning.”
“Good morning to you as well, Minnie,” Elizabeth returned, getting out of bed. She swept her hair to her back with a smile. “I pray you slept well?”
“I did, My Lady. Thank you.” Minnie went towards the armoire where she’d hung the clothes Elizabeth had brought with her. “His Grace has asked that you not be dressed in any of the gowns you brought with you.”
Elizabeth frowned. “Why would he say that?”
“He—” Before Minnie could finish, there came a knock on the door. Her frown deepening, Elizabeth looked over at the sound.
> “Please come in,” she called.
Upon her prompt, four maids swept into the room, bearing trunks. Harold came in behind them, stopping at the door with his hands clasped behind his back. “Good morning, My Lady,” he began. “Please forgive the early intrusion but His Grace has asked that you be dressed in one of the morning gowns found in these trunks.”
“Morning gowns?” Elizabeth echoed, bemused.
Harold nodded, his eyes not actually on her. “Yes, they belonged to the late Duchess of Brandon. These maids will also assist with taking your measurements for gowns to be made for you. Do not hesitate to call for me if you are in need of my service.”
With a small bow, Harold left, leaving Elizabeth staring after him. With her mouth slightly agape, she looked at the trunks, which she now knew were filled with gowns. Pleasure spread throughout her as realization finally began to sink in.
He would not have provided this for me had he not wished for me to stay, I’m certain.
“My Lady?” Minnie probed, snapping Elizabeth out of her thoughts. Elizabeth hid her smile, nodding eagerly.
“Yes, let us begin,” she said. “We shouldn’t keep the Duke waiting.”
The maids got into action after that. The trunks were filled with two morning gowns, one walking gown, and a ballgown, though Elizabeth couldn’t fathom where she would possibly wear the latter. He’d even gotten her extra pairs of gloves and bonnets, with kid slippers to replace the boots Elizabeth had borrowed from Patience. She was happy all the same for what William had bought her, and was even more overjoyed when she found that they all fit almost perfectly, with only minimal alterations made by Minnie. She got dressed in the saffron morning gown, Minnie styling her hair in a lovely French twist.
Once she was ready, she made her way down to the drawing room, utterly unable to wipe the happy grin off her face.
“My Lady,” Harold stated when she arrived at the drawing room they’d had breakfast in the last time. “His Grace is waiting for you in the dining room.”
“The dining room?” she echoed. “Why would he be there?”
Harold didn’t respond, only gestured with his hand. Elizabeth fell silent and followed the orderly butler until they came upon large double doors. Upon entering, Elizabeth saw William sitting at the head of the long mahogany table, already eating. He glanced up when she entered, but looked back at his meal as if she was nothing of consequence.
Elizabeth didn’t mind the dismissal. The morning had started out far too beautifully for her to be bothered by his coldness, and though she wore long gloves and the shawl she’d brought with her to cover her scars, she felt like a queen.
“Good morning,” she greeted him with a broad smile, going to sit in the chair at his left.
William didn’t respond. He took a large bite of his toast and watched her as she picked up a spoon. Elizabeth’s heart began to race at how devastatingly seductive he looked when he stared at her like that.
“Is something the matter?” she asked after a moment.
“Are you not afraid, Beth?” William asked her. He didn’t pause his eating, forging on heartily. Elizabeth had already lost her appetite in light of the conversation that was coming. “It is the height of London Season and you are without a chaperone. Are you not afraid, seeing that you are an unmarried lady in the home of ruthless man?”
“You are not ruthless,” she responded instantly, even though she didn’t have the courage to meet his eyes. She sipped her tea. “You can’t convince me of that no matter how many times you say it.” He scoffed at that. Elizabeth went on. “And why do you assume that I am an unmarried lady?”
William said nothing for a moment. Then he leaned closer, his brows furrowing slightly. His woodsy smell wafted over to her and Elizabeth was almost positive he could hear her pounding heart. “Because your betrothal to the Earl of Horenwall was announced,” he said simply.
Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat. For a second, she couldn’t think of a single thing to say, a blush of embarrassment creeping across her cheeks at having been caught like this. “I…I did not think you would know that. I didn’t think you cared to read the announcements?”
“It is simple common sense to read the Times,” William stated. “So tell me, Beth. Why do you remain here when you have a gentleman waiting to be married to you?”
She avoided his eyes, her throat constricting. Her shame threatened to swallow her whole, so poignant that she didn’t know how she managed to speak next.
“The betrothal was against my will. Father…he’s decided he will no longer tolerate my behavior towards getting married and has decided to take matters into his own hands. Even when I told him my concerns, he would not listen to me.”
“I am quite surprised, Beth.” There was actual astonishment in his voice, however slight. “I never knew you to be one to back away from a challenge. Or to run away like this. So, you do not wish to be married at all and have come here to escape that?”
That is because I am not the lady you once knew. And you are not the gentleman I once loved, either. It appears the years had changed us both.
She looked up at him, and her chest constricted when she saw just how close he’d drawn to her. “It is part of the reason I left, I will admit. Is that so surprising?”’
“If you are not jesting, then I might think you are rightfully insane,” he mumbled, leaning back.
“I might be, considering I could not forget about you no matter how much time passed.”
“Because you cannot let go of the past.”
“No,” she shot back, her tone soft. “Because you were too selfish to give me a reason for your leaving.”
“I did not have to give you anything.”
“You did not—” Elizabeth broke off, that unfamiliar taste of anger on her tongue. Now, even though William was so attractive while he reclined back in his seat and ate with such a calm countenance, it spurred on her rage. “You did not have to give me anything? How can you say that to me?”
“It has been seven years, Beth,” he maintained. His eyes hardened, even though he didn’t pause his eating. “After one year, I would understand this level of conviction. Perhaps even after two years, had you remained alone and had been courted by no one. But after seven years, Beth, and seeking me out like this can only lead me to believe that you have grown obsessed.”
The words lanced her painfully. Elizabeth couldn’t do anything but stare at him, gaping at him as if she couldn’t believe that he’d just said such a thing. Her body went hot, rage rendering her speechless for a few moments. Elizabeth didn’t know what to do with the feeling. She’d so long been without it, never driven to the brink like William had just done, and now she was left wholly unprepared.
“Have I offended you, Beth?” William asked as if nothing were amiss. His eyes never left her face for a second.
Slowly, she pulled the glove from her left hand, knowing that the scar on her upper arm was on the right side rather than the left. With controlled patience, she folded the glove and laid it on the table. Then she raised her hand so that he could see the scars that laid across her knuckles.
Her chest constricted even as she did the act. Every inch of her body wanted to run from this room, to give in to the tears she could feel burning the back of her throat, Elizabeth forced herself to stay in place. She kept her eyes on his face, watching how still he’d become. His eyes were glued to her hand.
The scars across her knuckles were the least severe amongst them all. As such, it hadn’t healed as badly as the others had. A few of the scratches were raised slightly, while the others were flat, marked by a simple silver line. Even so, they were not the sort of things you would see on the hands of a lady.
“Five years ago, I was robbed,” she began. Her voice cracked and it took all she had not to hide her scarred hand from his sight. She needed him to know this, to at least understand. “It was a simple ruffian, a man who noticed I was a lady and wanted all my valuables. I’d been m
ore than willing to give him all that I had, even though my lady’s maid was quite against it.”
Reliving the memory was nearly as difficult as showing him this part of her. Elizabeth forged on, “Even though I’d told him that he could take whatever he wanted, I did not think that he would attempt to steal the ring you had given me two years prior.”
William’s dark eyes snapped up to her. Elizabeth held them, even though she was trembling.
“I could not give it up. It was the promise you’d made to me, the only reminder I had of you. I could not let him take that small piece I had, so I fought back and this is the result.” This and so much more than I cannot show you. “You say that I have become obsessive trying to find you all these years. But you don’t know what I went through during all those years. You haven’t asked and it seems as if you do not care. Even though, you were the one who left me after you promised you would love me forever. Even though, you were the one who sent no word and made me worry that something terrible might have happened to you. Even though, I had only been acting on the faith that I could help you overcome whatever it is that made you leave in the first place.”
What Desire Demands, My Duke: A Steamy Historical Regency Romance Novel Page 9
