Elizabeth’s smile remained on her face, even as she shook her head. “Your words cannot hurt me today, William,” she said to him. “I am far too happy to see you again to care about anything else you might say.”
That took him by surprise—and his surprise deepened when he felt a smile tug at his lips. “You’ve always been far too stubborn for your own good.”
“Yes, that is true,” she agreed with a nod. “I suppose that hasn’t changed about me, although many other things have.”
Elizabeth faced the horse again on those words. An odd expression flashed across her features so quickly that William wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it. He watched as she lifted a hand, as if intending to pet the horse on its nose, and let it fall to her side once more.
He said nothing. He only watched as her hand trembled this time, but touched the horse’s nose and began to stroke back and forth. The twinge of jealousy he felt for the horse felt wrong and irritated him.
“All right,” Elizabeth said, letting her hand fall again. “I think I am ready to ride it.”
William scoffed. “I doubt that.”
“Why?” she asked, glancing at him. “If I have the courage to touch him, then I most certainly have the courage to ride him, don’t you think? And you’ll be by my side, so nothing bad will happen.”
Her words made his heart skip a beat. “You cannot even think about riding this horse until you trust it enough. And it is clear that you do not.”
“What use is trusting it?” she challenged. “It’s just a senseless animal who doesn’t even know who I am. As long as he is trained, then isn’t that all that matters?”
“It isn’t a senseless horse. You must know that animals can be as smart and as emotional as humans can, which is why they should also be treated with care. Simply jumping onto its back while you shiver like a leaf will only upset it.”
“Then what use is a horse if it cannot do the one thing it has been bred to do?”
William blew a breath of frustration out his nose. “You’ve stayed away from horses nearly all your life, so why are you challenging everything that I say?”
“It is precisely because I’ve been away from horses all my life that I do not want to get atop a steed that cannot match its rider.”
“Then perhaps you should leave this stable altogether and occupy your time with something else.”
Elizabeth shook her head, crossing her arms like a stubborn child. “I do not want to. I need to learn how to ride a horse.”
“Then listen to what I have to say without your little comments.”
“Fine!” Elizabeth’s cheeks colored, as if she was angry, but then the tension broke with her giggle. She looked up at William, her eyes glittering with happiness. “I haven’t quarreled with someone like that in quite a long time. You seem to bring out the parts of me that have long since been dormant.”
He was struck dumb by her words. He shouldn’t have been. He shouldn’t have coolly brushed it aside like he had been doing everything else she said to him. But for some reason, her words opened up a part of his heart that he’d locked away years ago. He didn’t like it. Not one bit.
But though he knew that the logical response would be to put distance between them, William only said, “Try to touch the horse again, until you find that your hand isn’t shaking anymore.”
If Elizabeth was disappointed by his lack of response, she didn’t show it. She only turned her attention back to the horse, licking her lips. William couldn’t help but study her, watching her take deep breaths that made her generous bosom rise and fall in an alluring manner. Her lips thinned to a line, her fingers trembling when she tried to touch the horse again. The horse barely moved, as if he didn’t notice—or rather didn’t care—about the two humans standing before him.
Elizabeth went from touching the horse gently to caressing its nose. Then, as seconds clocked by, she gathered enough bravery to touch him with both hands and step a little closer. Her hands still trembled though.
“Enough,” William said after a while. Without a single second of hesitation, Elizabeth took two large steps away from the beast and tucked her hands behind her back, breathing heavily. The fear in her eyes stabbed his chest with unease. “That is more than enough progress for today.”
She looked up at him, trying to steady her breathing. “Are we finished?”
William nodded. “I cannot spare any more time for this, so do whatever else you wish to do for the remainder of the day. I shall be in my study.”
He expected her to protest, to say something indicating that she didn’t want him to leave. But Elizabeth simply nodded and said, “Do not work too late, William. And do not forget to have your dinner.”
For the second time that day, William didn’t know what to say. And he could only stand there and stare at her as she made her way past him without another look or word, heading back to the manor. He stared after her, watching the gentle sway of her hips and felt a longing that pierced deep into his soul.
Work didn’t seem so pleasing right now.
Chapter 11
A note was waiting for him when he returned to his study. It sat prettily in the center of his desk, even though the words that were scribbled across it was a nearly indecipherable scrawl. William knew exactly who it was from before he read its contents.
An old friend had returned to London—the infamous Nelson Brawn.
Infamous, that is, in certain circles. Circles that a man like William should not be caught dead in. But the past years had not been kind to William and he’d found himself in situations, and around people, he never thought he would. Nelson was one of them and they’d formed an odd friendship as a result.
William, however, had been smart enough not to get caught up in Nelson’s nefarious acts. Though he’d befriended the man, through a chance encounter in a seedy tavern, he’d always made sure to draw the line between them, knowing one day he would be in a position where he could not afford to have his name sullied. Unlike his father.
A few months ago, Nelson had declared his intentions to leave London for good. Though he hadn’t said why, William knew that it might have something to do with a criminal act that would land Nelson in prison if he were caught by the authorities. William wondered why he’d returned.
And now, of all times, when I have a persistent lady in my midst.
William sank into the chair before his desk, tossing the note to the side. Nelson, in addition to announcing his return to London, also said that they should meet with each other like old times. William had to wonder if Nelson knew that he’d inherited the Dukedom. Or if that was the reason he’d suddenly returned. With a man as crafty as he was, William couldn’t be too sure, even if they were friends.
The very last thing he wanted was for Beth to find out about the crowd he once ran in. Though he couldn’t understand why he cared, William decided she couldn’t know. He wouldn’t go to see Nelson. Like so many others, William would leave Nelson in his past. It seemed only Elizabeth was capable of remaining important to him.
No, not important, he corrected, shaking his head. Nothing about my past is important to me. She is only a distraction, one I have not yet learned how to overcome.
Shaking his head more vigorously, as if that would toss her image right out of his head, William tried to focus on the matters he had to address on his desk. It didn’t work very well, but at least he could try to concentrate.
He didn’t know how long he sat there, but when he looked back up, he noticed that the sun was dipping past the horizon. An orange glow lit up his study and for a moment, William was captured by the sight. A memory slipped through his mind, one of a young Elizabeth standing at the bank of a river while a similar orange sunset made her hair glow. That had been the moment William had promised himself he would never let her go.
Gritting his teeth, William shot to his feet, slamming his hands onto the desk. The bang echoed throughout the room, but it didn’t chase away the memory. If anyth
ing, it grew sharper in his mind’s eye, enough to drive him insane.
This was the very reason he did not want to have Elizabeth here. She made him remember things that he’d long since tucked away, things he did not want to think about ever again. Soon, the ones that had broken him would intrude, and William was not prepared to go through that again.
He should stay away from her. He knew that very well. Even if he couldn’t bring himself to send her away just yet, distancing himself from the problem should help, if only a little bit.
But William wanted to do the opposite. And he’d never been one to deny himself exactly what he wanted.
He left his study, making his way to the dining room. It was about time for dinner. Soon, he would see Elizabeth again, would be able to watch her eat and blush and smile and grow shy around him. His heart began to pound at the thought.
He sat in his chair, tapping his fingers against the table in his impatience. Elizabeth should be here soon. He need only wait and then she’d been sweeping into the dining room like the angelic beauty that she was.
His impatience grew deeper, darker, more intense as the minutes rolled by. Footmen stood on hand waiting to serve the dinner, but William held them at bay, wanting her to arrive first. But as time stretched on, William wondered if she would not come at all.
“Fetch Harold,” he said, not looking away from the door, and one of the footmen went running to do as he was told. Soon enough, Harold entered the dining room and came to stand next to William with a bow.
“How may I be of service, Your Grace?” he asked, his eyes trained on the table.
“Lady Elizabeth,” William pushed out, annoyed with the fact that ever since she’d come here, inquiring about her whereabouts as all he asked of the butler. “Where is she right now?”
“I believe she is taking a stroll through the gardens.”
“So late?” William demanded but silence met his words. Trying to bring himself back together, William rose. He said nothing as he left the dining hall, but his steps were quick and long, taking him out into the gardens.
It would not be easy finding her within this large stretch of land filled with twists and turns, but that didn’t stop him. Nor did the realization that he was acting out of character slow his steps. He couldn’t only think about how easily she’d left him behind in the stables, how she hadn’t even looked back once even though he’d been right behind her. And now, it appeared she did not care to have dinner with him? William didn’t want to know why that bothered him so much.
As luck would have it, he did not have to scour the entire garden to find her. He drew to a halt when he saw Elizabeth standing by a swing hung from the branch of a large tree. She pushed the swing back and forth in an idle manner, singing under her breath.
“Beth,” William called and watched, for the second time today, as she turned to look at him in surprise.
“William,” she greeted with a soft smile. “How lovely to see you. Are you finished with the work you had to do?”
William inched closer, wariness creeping through him. “No, I am not, but I did think to have dinner, like you suggested.”
Though her smile was bright, she did not come closer to him. She did not blush. She even looked away, sitting on the swing now, as if she was not as overly pleased to see him like she had been before. “That is good,” she said. “I was afraid you would work throughout the night without a single morsel of food in your stomach.”
William narrowed his eyes. “And what of you?” he asked. “Do you not plan on having dinner as well?”
“Oh, I had a few snacks with my tea earlier and I am still a bit full. I think I will go to bed tonight without dinner.”
“If you insist on being my guest then I cannot let you starve yourself,” he said. “Come, and let us eat.”
“I will not be starving myself,” Elizabeth maintained, her tone far too casual for his liking. “As I said, I am still full. Though I suppose I will be quite famished when morning comes.”
An odd feeling stretched throughout him. William didn’t care to figure out what it was. He told himself he should just walk away and leave her be, but he simply stood there, searching desperately for something to say.
“It appears you are no longer afraid of me,” he said finally.
“Because I realize I have no reason to be afraid of you,” Elizabeth said. “I must admit, your countenance was quite frightening when we met again that night. And you were so cold to me that I was afraid of the man you might have become.”
“And now?”
“Now, I’ve decided that the man you’ve become does not matter.”
His heart skipped a beat. Bothered by it, William crossed his arms. “I fail to understand, Elizabeth, why you have not forgotten about me despite so many years. Surely, it cannot simply be because you wish to know the truth of why I left.”
She peeked up at him, raising a brow. “Will you tell me?”
“No.”
“Then I shall not say another word.”
“Then I suppose you will maintain your silence when I prepare a carriage to take you back to your home.”’
“Your threats do not bother me any longer, William. If you wanted me to leave, you would not have provided clothing for me, nor would you seek me out like this.” He blinked, taken aback at how easily she’d read him. She caught his expression and smiled. “Do you remember the first night we spent together under one roof? I believe I was perhaps seven years old at the time.”
William said nothing, even as the memory sprang into his mind. She’d indeed been seven, a little girl who liked to act as if she knew the world. Back then he’d been incredibly amused by her confidence, but that night had been different.
“My parents and I had visited for dinner that night,” Elizabeth went on, swinging back and forth ever so slightly. “But a terrible thunderstorm had broken out so suddenly that we could not return home. Of course, your mother offered to have us stay overnight. I remembered being so overjoyed that I would be able to spend more time with my closest friend and that night, I snuck out to your room. There I found you crying in bed.”
William felt no shame at the recollection. He was quite different from the child he’d been back then. He remained quiet, not entirely sure where she was going with this.
“I instantly crawled into your bed and asked you why you were crying,” Elizabeth told him, her tone wistful. “You couldn’t tell me, however. Your sobs were far too uncontrollable. But when thunder struck, you flinched and cried even harder. When it struck again, you got under the covers as if that would protect you. I crawled under the covers as well and hugged you. Do you remember what I told you?”
That, he couldn’t. It was a hazy memory at best. He could recall being afraid of thunderstorms once, and even remembered having Elizabeth stay overnight once or twice. He was impressed at how much she could recollect.
Elizabeth looked up at him. The sun had long since set and what hung over head was a bright, full moon. William’s breath caught in his throat when he saw how brilliantly her eyes shone, the ethereal beauty that could stop any man dead in his tracks.
“I wrapped my arms around you and I told you that I would be by your side for the rest of the night,” she said. “I told you that I would protect you.”
“It was the rambling of a child,” William said without hesitation, trying and failing to stop his heart from pounding at her words. “It is nothing to be taken seriously.”
“You’re right,” she agreed, much to his surprise. “In truth, I did not remember anything about that night until just now. But now, I cannot help but envy the girl I was back then, who had been so willing to protect you against forces she wouldn’t be able to stand against. I want to be that girl again.”
Her tone grew wistful once more. William softened. “Is that why you went to the stables today?”
“In part,” Elizabeth said with a nod. “But that is not the reason why I brought up the past. I simply wan
ted you to know that that girl is still by your side. Even if you may not think you deserve it.”
“You do not know what you’re talking about, Beth,” William muttered.
“Whose fault do you think that is?” she quipped with a small smile.
He nearly smiled himself. “What of you, then?” he asked. “What happened to the girl I once knew?”
“Do you wish she would return?” she asked.
William tried to ignore the way she looked up at him by averting his gaze. “You cannot blame me if I am curious.”
“Perhaps when you have told me about what happened to you, I shall do the same. Do not think you can get all of me at once. Now,” she went on. “Why did you seek me out?”
What Desire Demands, My Duke: A Steamy Historical Regency Romance Novel Page 12
