by Rue Volley
August shook his head.
“You need to do this, she will tell you exactly what the fuck is up including whether Zoey has your baby and shit.”
August stared him down as Jami walked up slowly. He reached up and touched his face as August sighed. Jami reached down and found that August was already started to become hard. He grinned and rubbed his hand up and down as August relaxed his arms. Jami started to lower as August watched him and then he let his head fall back as Jami unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out.
“I can tell you your immediate future,” he said as he took the length of his cock to the back of his throat and August moaned and wished that he did not enjoy it as he did but he could not fight it, he never could just as truth cannot be poisoned to death.
Chapter Fourteen
Goodbye Sex
“Interesting,” Molly said as Jami sat in the chair with his leg hanging over the edge of it.
“That’s it?” Jami said and Molly looked at him.
“What?”
“I mean I tell you that Zoey is pregnant and I am fucking August and you say interesting?”
“Oh she can be fixed.”
“From what I understand she doesn’t want a fix.”
“What?” Molly said as she set her drink down and crossed her arms on her chest.
“August said she wants it, I mean he is going to be all honorable and shit,” he said as he waved his hand.
“That is ridiculous.”
“I agree,” Jami said as he watched her walk up to him. She slapped his leg off of the edge of the chair.
“We are not heathens here,” she said to him as he grinned at her.
“Could have fooled me,” he said under his breath as she sighed.
“I need you to make this go away.”
“I don’t know what…”
“You know, fuck him, fuck him like he has never been fucked before.”
“I am trying to, so far I have just…”
“No,” she said as she held her hand up to him.
“I don’t need your details, you just make him leave her, I will handle the rest.”
“Can I ask you why?” Jami said and Molly smiled at him.
“Misery,” she said and Jami shook his head and stared at the floor.
“You are as fucked up as the Bittermends.”
She lowered to her knee and grabbed his face, he struggled for a moment but her grip was tight on him.
“Listen to me, you are being paid to do this for me, not to ask fucking questions.”
“Okay,” Jami said as he looked a bit fearful. Molly could be extremely intimidating.
“You get him in a compromising situation and be sure to get Zoey to walk in on it.”
He hesitated and she screamed at him.
“Jami!”
He looked up at her and nodded.
“I mean, it’s that or back to detention halls. Whatever you prefer.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” he said as he stood up.
“Oh yes, that place robbed itself. The prisons are filled with innocent men!” Molly yelled as he walked out and slammed the door behind him.
****
I sat waiting for him, which was something I never did, ever. Waiting on Ryan was like waiting for nails to grow in a sense. I didn’t care anymore how he came and went. Sometimes it would be for days, but I had messaged him and told him that I needed to see him and it was an emergency so he rushed home from whatever pussy he had his dick buried in to find out what had me so upset. Funny how he pretends to care, or maybe he does care…who fucking knows.
He entered the house and I sat in the living room. I stared at the fire as it burned high in the elaborate fireplace my Father was so proud to add to this home when I was little. I remember the people who came to build it and how little respect my Father had for them. He yelled at them often and my Mother would roll her eyes and leave them all to their business, but I had watched as they carved it right here in the house, with the skill that little possess. They created a masterpiece, this magical place for me. It had two large trees on each side of it with winding branches and I would touch it often as a child and dream that it was a gateway to another place. I stood up and walked to it, placing my fingers to it just as I heard his voice behind me. I turned, allowing my maturity to return to me. Funny how memories can make you feel so free and young again.
“Are you okay Beth?” he asked me, sounding so close to when we were younger and I was foolish to believe it.
“Sit down Ryan,” I said to him as I turned back to the fireplace and stared at it. The fire was rising as my irritation as I thought about Molly Renew and her lies. There was no way Zane and Zoey had been my Fathers, I mean could it be real? I never thought of Molly as a woman who was in in control of her senses, I mean who could think that? She had been ruined so young with that abduction and I could hardly believe she was in her right mind, but if one thing rings true with me it is self-preservation and this is no different.
“I want you to tell me about Molly Renew,” I said to him as he adjusted on the couch and watched me walk back to my Fathers old chair; I sat down feeling more like royalty as I settled into it. This chair was also a source of fun for me as a child as you can imagine I had to be creative with no siblings. I then thought of Zane, dead in this home and of Zoey and my heart fluttered in my chest. Ryan looked nervous and I tilted my head. “Ryan?” I said and he cleared his throat.
“What?”
“Oh my God. Ryan?” I said and he leaned up and interlocked his fingers.
“Beth, listen.”
“Fucking hell, are you serious? Why would you fuck that?” I said and he shook his head at me.
“You are innocent I see?” Ryan said as he waved his hand and I leaned up and held my head in my hands. Here I was just wanting information, anything he may be able to tell me about her stability and instead he is fucking her, just fabulous.
“Unbelievable,” I said as I stood up and started to pace the floor.
“Are you actually upset?” he asked me and I stopped and looked at him.
“Why?” I asked him and he stood up and stared at me.
“You confuse me, I am sick of your fucking bullshit, Beth.”
“Oh! My bullshit? Are you fucking serious?” I asked him as I placed my hand to my chest and stared at him.
“I mean you flaunt your shit all over town, fucking him wherever…even in our old restaurant Beth…I mean are you fucking serious?”
“What is this?” I asked him as I tried to regain my composure.
“This is the truth Beth, feels weird huh?” he asked me and I shook my head at him.
“No, I mean this, us…here. What the fuck is this?” I asked him and he stepped towards me.
“This is who we are, who we will always be.”
“You make me so sad.” I said to him as he looked down and then back up at me.
“Well at least I fucking make you feel something.”
“Ryan.” I said as he stepped closer to me. I looked down as I realized he was right up on me.
“Bethany, there was a time when you loved me more than anything. I know, I remember it.”
“Ryan, that was so long ago, I can’t even…”
He then grabbed me and as I fought him his lips met mine and that old poisonous truth started to flow through my veins. Ryan Blackwood was a man who had always been my equal and for better or for worse he matched me. The sadistic nature of it still dumbfounded me but perhaps it is my fate, perhaps he is the hell I have to be redeemed in before this mortal coil will release me. As my arms relaxed and he felt me fall against him his kiss became less desperate in nature and more of an old memory, one I had felt so long ago when I thought he loved me and would change. I closed my eyes and allowed it to comfort me, pushing back the hatred and hurt he had caused me on countless days and years. He raised his hand and held my face as his lips searched mine, he pulled back and whispered my name as we lowere
d to the floor, not worried about where we were or who might wander in on us.
His hand slowly slipped up the bottom of my blouse and pulled it out of my black pencil skirt, his fingers rose along my stomach and he even paused before his hand cupped my right breast. His moan matched my own as I allowed him to continue to try to pleasure me. Was it a moment of weakness? Or perhaps a moment of truth we had held back forever. He pulled me up to my feet and then scooped me up like some newlywed and I laughed quietly as he stared at me, completely sober and understanding what he was doing as was I. I could have stopped it at any moment but something in me said no, I cannot tell you if it was want or need. I mean does it really fucking matter as to which? All I knew is that he wanted me and for some reason that was the only fact I needed to know.
He walked up the stairs and then down the hallway, kissing me periodically and trying to see the floor so he did not fall down. He reached his bedroom door and he kicked it open then stepped in, he laid me down on the bed and pushed forward, engulfing me with his own body as if to claim me after so many years of letting me rot away. I reached up and touched his face as one tear rolled from my eye and he watched me with traces of compassion on his face that I did not know he had in him. I then pushed from under him and he sighed as he felt I was pulling from him as I had done before. I then started to unbutton my blouse and I took it off with my back to him, I slipped my skirt off and undid my bra. I turned to him as I dropped my bra to the floor and he sat up to stare at my body. He had not seen me this way in so many years I was sure he would be shocked and by his look he was. I then walked to the door that led to the hallway between us and I opened it up, smiling as I realized he had unlocked it as I had my own so many times before. I stepped in and he followed me as I stopped halfway down and stared at the door that led to my room. I felt his hand on my side as I started to talk to him.
“I came in here so many times, so many, I cannot remember and listened to you as you had other women in your bed Ryan. It broke my heart every single time and now I don’t know how I feel. I am almost numb to everything. I have no idea if I can love you or anyone. Not fully, you took that from me.” I said as I turned to him and saw it, the tears on his face. I could not believe it; I mean to see him crying was not something I ever thought I would experience but here he was, standing in front of me and emotionally stripped of his armor. I touched his face and wiped a tear from his cheek.
“I want a divorce Ryan, I need to set you free, I need to set myself free.”
He nodded to me and leaned in, kissing me as we sank to the floor. His hands were not filled with need or aggression, he was tender as if something had changed him and I crawled on top of him as he leaned against the wall. I slipped his cock up into myself as he quietly moaned. He never said a word to me and I said nothing to him. I simply rotated my hips slowly as he held my face and kissed me so softly it felt foreign. If this was the gift we needed to give to each other then I accepted it. I accept who I am and what he is. I accept that I don’t have to be this, I don’t have to suffer any longer and with that we made love for the first time in our lives, never once causing pain or torment to each other. In fact it was almost as if we had surrendered and allowed ourselves to just be human again.
I lay on his chest and listened to his heart beating, fast at first and then it settled into a slow drone. It was like a sirens song to me as I closed my eyes and let it sooth me. I remembered when Cas and August were little, they often woke up crying and I would enter into their room, hoping to give them comfort, but it always settled them down when Ryan would join us. He would hold August and I would hold Cas and they would both fall asleep as they listened to our hearts beating. I know that they are not mine, but with a twist of fate I became their Mother and there was a time when that was enough, when Ryan and I would step in and the boys would fall asleep as we held them and made them feel safe. It had been forever since Ryan had made me feel this way and yet as I drifted off to sleep the sound of his heart beating was the only thing that made me feel safe and needed. I buried my face into his chest and started to cry as he held me. I have no idea if he thought it was for us or not but I knew it was because it was over, once and for all.
Chapter Fifteen
Watch It Burn
August sat in the small room staring at the posters of “enlightenment” on the walls. He shook his head as he read “Always Believe” on one of them. If one thing rang true with August it was that he was a realist. He had read and learned of everything as his mind wanted to consume as much information as possible, but learning about something and believing in that stuff were two completely different things. He glanced at the black dragon statue on the table and a small sliver of memory came back to him. He could almost hear Cas speaking, slow and churning echoes in his mind, as they sat in their room and Cas recited from the book they both loved. August found himself transported back to a time when he felt as if the world belonged to both him and Cas, long before the lies and twisted world shaped them into what they would become.
****
“August….August?” Cas said as August stared out the window and watched the wind move the trees. A storm was coming and always held his attention better than anything else. He then heard his brother’s voice and turned to see him sitting in the chair, all of 13 years old and holding the book of Dragons. He sighed and turned back to the window.
“What?” August said as Cas touched the elaborate drawing of the Dragon on the page.
“Ancient natives believed that the Bakunawa Dragon caused the moon or the sun to disappear during an eclipse. It is said that during certain times of the year, the Bakunawa rises from the ocean and proceeds to swallow the moon whole. To keep the Bakunawa from completely eating the moon, the natives would go out of their houses with pots and pans in hand and make loud noises in order to scare the Bakunawa into spitting out the moon back into the sky. Some say that this Dragon is known to kill people by imagining their death.”
“Really?” August said as he watched the blackened sky churn above them.
“Can you imagine?” Cas asked him as he stared at the Dragon on the page. August then turned to him and did what he knew he should have long before now.
“Dragons are not real,” he said and Cas looked up at him and then smiled.
“Whatever,” he said as his eyes lowered and he stared at the Dragon who wielded so much power, the power to kill with just the thought of it. August walked towards him and then stopped, reached down and took the book. He slammed it shut and held it against his chest as Cas looked irritated and with good reason.
“They are not real,” August said as he held the book close to him and Cas stood up, staring into his brother’s face. August held his ground as he always did regardless of the outcome.
“Give me the book., Cas said and August shook his head ‘no’.
“Give it to me,” Cas said as he reached for it and August turned his back to his brother, holding onto the book as if he was about to save him.
“I am not kidding!” Cas said as his voice went up an octave and August had to turn back and forth and Cas reached from behind. Suddenly Cas hit him in the back and August stumbled forward, still clutching the book in his hands. He turned and stared at Cas with some disbelief that he had decided to hit him.
“You are pathetic,” August said to him as Cas clinched his fists at his sides.
“I am not.”
“No you are, you have to know that this is bullshit, all of it. There are no dragons, never were, never will be.”
“Shut up,” Cas muttered as August started to get a sick feeling of enjoyment from it.
“I mean do you believe in Fairies too? Woodland elves, Unicorns?” he said and Cas shook his head as his jaw tightened.
“Stop it,” Cas said and August held the book out in front of him.
“This is a fucking lie,” August said and Cas then suddenly lunged at him, the book flew from his hands as Cas knocked him onto his back and was holding
him down against the floor. August stared at him and waited, never flinching or appearing nervous at all. Then Cas got into his face and narrowed his eyes.
“I hate you,” he whispered as August grinned.
“If so then you hate yourself.”
“No, just you and your lies,” he said as August suddenly rolled them over and stared down on Cas, taking the upper hand as usual. He pinned Cas’s arms to his side with his legs and smiled as he felt him struggle a little bit. He then raised his hand and covered his mouth as Cas stared him down with a little bit of fear entering his expression.
“A dragon can kill just by imagining it? Well, to kill you have to actually do it Cas, you have to be strong enough and want to make it happen.”
He then slid his hand up and covered Cas’s nose too as Cas made a noise and tried to move. August pressed harder and harder as the look in Cas’s eyes went from anger to pure terror and he moved more and more as August held on and would not allow him to breath. Cas finally started to slow as his eyes fluttered and August stood up quickly and released him as Cas took a deep breath of much needed air. He rolled onto his side into a fetal position and trembled as August felt the power he had over him. At that moment he felt invincible, as if the world belonged to him and the power to make things as he saw they should be. Cas crossed his arms on his chest and started to cry as August walked back to the window and stared at the rain as it started to fall from the dark sky above them.
“You see Cas? It is not the Dragon who controls life and death, it is us. Accept it and you accept the truth.”
Cas closed his eyes as August allowed the feeling to make him feel more powerful than he ever had before.
****
August turned as Jami stepped through the beaded doorway and smiled at him. He blinked a few times as the feeling he had that day made him now feel sick to his stomach. He should have never played that game with Cas. He should have allowed him to believe in something. He stole that from him and the bond they once had.
“Gaya will see you now,” Jami said.
