by Shelly Crane
“It’s what my family would do.”
“I told you significants don’t fight that way.”
“Yeah,” he nodded and looked down, “but I didn’t really believe you. I’ve seen too much fighting all my life. People can’t just be happy all the time, can they?” he said like he’d screwed everything up beyond repair.
I palmed his scruff, lifting his face. “Why not? It’s up to you how you react to things. It’s up to me how I handle situations. It’s up to us how we deal with each other. Each couple is defined by themselves, not by society or any other outside factor…unless they let them define them. And once they do, then they no longer have control over their own relationship. And how sad is that? When couples fight about money or sick kids or even silly things to big things, they should be leaning on each other, not being angry at each other when it’s out of both of their control. When couples start to get stale, instead of looking to books or movies or other people for their support or romance, they should be coming to each other, ramping things up, making things fun. But they don’t. They let things go, let all the blame fall on the other person and say that they didn’t make them feel special and sexy, but did they make them feel special and sexy?” I was breathing hard at this point, on a roll, unable to stop as he just stared at me. “No, I’m not going to yell at you and leave because not only is that not what significants do, but that’s not what real couples do either. What does that accomplish? You can’t be worried that every time you screw up I’m going to kick you to the sofa, Seth—and not just because I’d be in withdrawals.” His eyes met mine fiercely, blue on brown. “We’re going to screw up a lot, we’re just getting to know each other, but especially for the environment you grew up in, you’re such an amazing, sweet, honorable, prolific man.” I gulped. “You make me feel so—”
He cut me off by pulling me up to his mouth.
His mouth—so delicious and addictive. He kept me away from him, his hands only on my face, but his mouth worked overtime to get me breathless. I followed his lead, letting him take me wherever he wanted to go. I opened when he nudged me to, I dueled tongues with him when his fought against mine—my heart was about to beat out of my chest—accepting that kissing was my new favorite pastime, when he bit into my lip.
I appropriately gasped and let slip the little moan that caused him to growl, which set off a new round of deep kisses and we started all over again as he dove in.
Before Rodney walked in—without knocking, but we didn’t see him.
Ingrate.
“So this is what I have to look forward to,” I heard to my right and gasped, scrambling up to stand beside the bed as he kept going, “when I get myself bonded, huh? Late for school because I’m making out when I should be downstairs eating the breakfast my mother cooked with the family that’s been waiting for fifteen minutes.”
I struggled to get my breathing under control, as Seth did the same, clearing his throat. Seth was taller than Rodney by a good bit.
“Rodney, come on,” I complained. “Knock next time.”
“I did,” he said and made a gross face.
I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm to shoo him. “We’ll be down in a minute. Let me change my clothes.”
“Whoa!” He turned. “Then Jolly Green Giant needs to come with me.”
I opened my mouth to lay into him, but Seth gripped my hand. “I’m going. He’s right. Get dressed.”
I grumbled, “I would have put you out before I got dressed.”
He smirked. “Would you now?”
I giggled.
Rodney rolled his eyes. “God, please, don’t ever let me imprint. Keep me celibate.”
He padded his big, stupid, judgy feet down the hall and I glared at his back. Seth laughed. I swung my gaze on him. “What are you laughing at?”
“He’ll get his,” he promised. “He just doesn’t know what this,” he rubbed his thumb against mine, “feels like.”
I swooned in a puddle by my bedroom door. His smile grew. “I’ll wait for you downstairs.” He gave me a smirk. “You could go fast if you want.”
“I will. I’ll have mercy. Tell them not to wait for me to eat.”
I took care with the fastest shower I’d ever taken and with what I put on. It didn’t feel like a t-shirt and jeans day. So I put on my leggings with a crop dress and the infinity scarf Mom and I got in London last year, threw on my boots, left my hair in loose waves, slicked on some light make up and booked it downstairs.
When I entered the kitchen where the breakfast nook was, everyone stopped eating and talking, which made me feel so uncomfortable until Seth stood up so fast that his chair almost tipped over behind him.
He let his out in a slow, low noise before… “Wow.”
Mom chuckled and leaned back with a smile, clapping twice. “And that, ladies and gentleman, is how it’s done.”
My neck was so pink I could feel it, and Seth—realizing he’d just practically fallen at my feet in front of everyone—smiled that smile that tore through me like tissue paper and then turned it on my mother. She sat up straighter and looked at me with wide eyes.
‘I know’, I mouthed as I moved toward him.
“Eat, Ave,” Dad said, knowing what I was doing.
“I’m going to be late. And it’s the last day of school before winter break.”
“Gee, I wonder why you’re late—” Rodney began. I punched his arm.
“I’ll just take this.” I grabbed a biscuit, stuck a piece of sausage in it, and wrapped it in a napkin. “I’ll eat it,” I promised.
“I’ll make sure she eats,” Seth told them. Mom came and hugged him, telling him something in his ear and he nodded. “Thanks, Mrs. Jacobson. I will. I promise.”
Dad patted his shoulder and told him to make sure to stop by anytime, no invitation needed. Dad went to the counter and started making me a coffee in a to-go cup. I knew he was doing it, because I saw him pull the Hazelnut creamer from the fridge. But I saw him pull out a second to-go cup…and he made it black. How did he already know that Seth took his coffee black?!
“What is going on here?” I muttered under my breath.
Seth took both of the cups from my dad and guided me with an arm around my back. “Thanks for the coffee and breakfast. Bye, guys.”
“Bye, Seth!” Mom called cheerily.
I looked at the snow and the porch as we came outside to make sure that everything was the same, that I hadn’t entered an episode of a TV show of some alternate reality or something.
I looked at Seth. “If you tell me your name is The Doctor, I’m outta here.”
He laughed loudly. “And now you’re a “Doctor Who” fan? Freaking adorable,” he mumbled under his breath. “Your parents are awesome, Ava.” He was so sincere.
“I was worried I was going to have to save you.”
“No need.” He used his elbow to swipe the snow off of a spot and then set the coffees on his hood. The truck was already cranked so he must have the kind where you do it from the key fob because there were no footprints in the snow. He opened the door, helped me in, and then got the coffees, handing mine to me. “They were awesome about not making me feel weird. Even Rodney wasn’t too bad.”
He laughed before shutting my door.
My dress wasn’t too short, but I did notice how it rose up mid-thigh when I sat down. But the leggings kept the ensemble decent. And warm.
The truck was so warm, but I still slid over as soon as he shut my door. When he got in and saw how close I was, his grin was adorable. He got in and turned the heat on even more, looking at my legs and shutting his eyes for a few seconds too long. “You’re not too cold with those on?”
“Leggings?” I laughed.
“Is that what they’re called?” he half-growled as he backed out and got on the road. “They should be called evil.”
“They’re just like pants, just thinner. Jeans, just not made of quite the same thing. Jeggings.”
He laughed and shook
his head. “As long as you’re warm, sweetheart, call ‘em whatever you want.” He looked at my legs again and then away with a little groan. “I’ll just call them evil because I can see every inch of your legs in those things.”
My heart practically did the Tennessee Waltz behind my ribs. “And that’s evil?” I squeaked.
“Evil,” he reiterated and smiled.
I boldly took his hand from his leg and held it in between mine on my legs. He tensed and gave me a sidelong look. “Ava.”
“You kill me when you say my name like that.”
“Like what?” he asked gruffly.
“Anything,” I answered truthfully after I thought about it.
He laughed once. “Well then right now, we’re even, sweetheart.” His eyes brushed over me once more, taking in my legs and making me feel the most beautiful I’ve ever felt with that look, before looking at the road and keeping his eyes straight ahead the rest of the drive.
When we arrived at the school, I had been preparing a little speech in my head. I was sure he had heard the whole thing, but I wanted to say it anyway. Today, tonight, tomorrow, was going to suck. He had to work and couldn’t come. We’d figure it out, all that, we’d get through this together, but he had other plans.
He left the engine running and turned just barely in the seat. He pushed my hair behind my ear and let his eyes rove over my face slowly, thinking how beautiful I was. “Seth.”
“Ava.” He knew exactly what he doing, now knowing what hearing my name did to me. His smile was genuine as he inched my way slowly and took my mouth so gently, moving his hand to the back of my neck.
I felt a swarm of butterflies attack my gut. When he pulled away, I grunted in dissatisfaction. He seemed pleased by my reaction. “You have to go to class, and I need to go to home and shower.”
“Oh, that’s helping things,” I said coyly.
He gave me a stern look. “You are going to be trouble.”
“Not for long. Just until…” I stopped my line of thinking right then and there. Oh, God, help me. I didn’t even know what the Watsons did when they bonded. How long they waited until they…
“All right,” I started and grabbed my purse, “uh, I’ll call you later or something and we’ll—”
“Wait.” He grabbed my arm to make sure I couldn’t leave for good measure. “What’s this about? Why are you shutting off your mind? You never do that.”
“Nothing. We can talk about it later.”
“How long they waited until…they got married?” he guessed and nodded. “Is that what you’re talking about? Your dad already laid it all out for me that our kind doesn’t have sex until marriage because he didn’t know if the Watsons carried on that tradition anymore. They do, by the way. Or, as far as I knew.”
“Okay, great,” I said softly.
“But we have a long time to worry about that, right?” He laughed. “I’m sure your mom is going to plan some big southern wedding with a million people invited and it’ll take her like two years to do it, right? Plus,” he hedged and laughed a little, “I kinda have to pop the question first. But I think it’s a given.”
Twelve
I just stared. I didn’t know what else to do.
I wasn’t angry. There wasn’t anything to be angry about really, it was just that another piece of my fairytale wasn’t happening quite as it should. Everything that Seth and I had to face was going to come head on and full speed into the wall. He didn’t get it as he looked at me. And I was a girl, I wanted the perfect story, the perfect thing for me. It was awkward. Hey, I know you barely know me, you like me a whole lot, but it’s the custom of our kind to not wait two years, but marry in like two weeks. Wanna?
His eyes bugged to an impossible size and I realized that I hadn’t been blocking him at all in my rant. I apparently turned it all back on and had just scared the bejeezus out of him.
I leaned back a little. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you later or something. I’m…sorry.”
He just sat there. I tried to go, but couldn’t. I sighed. He had to release me. I opened my mouth to beg him, but once again he showed me mercy that I wasn’t sure he even wanted to show me. At least not in that moment anyway.
“Go on,” he whispered. “Go and learn something. I’ll see you later,” he finished so quietly I barely heard him. I wondered if that would be enough to release me. I hoped.
I took my bag again and got out, without taking his touch, but I had been filled with it all morning. It still felt wrong to leave without touching him.
I turned and shut the door easily, making sure not to slam it so he wouldn’t think I was angry. I walked a little bit away onto the sidewalk and looked back at him. He was watching me, that same expression on his face. Then he put the truck in drive and slowly drove away.
Was the thought of marrying me so awful? So debilitating? Did he feel like I was taking his life away or something? I didn’t know what to think. I just knew everything was fine until that one word came up and now, everything wasn’t fine.
“Hey, girl.”
I looked up to find Lilith draped around some rugby player. “Hey.”
It was then I realized that I forgot my coffee in his truck. I looked at my biscuit and sighed. Lilith called my name and asked if I was okay.
“Yeah. Just…” I looked up to find her worried and the rugby player looked bored out of his skull. “I’m good. See you later, okay? Lunch, maybe? The deli.”
“Lunch at the deli!” She called over her shoulder as she was dragged away.”
I went to class and tried not to think. I tried not to let my heart hurt because I didn’t want Seth to think he needed to come rescue me. For one, I knew that he didn’t want to come right now. He was upset with me. And I didn’t want him to come because he had to, I wanted him to come because he wanted to, to see me. So I just pushed it all away and tried my best to focus on my classes. I was really good with my classes. I didn’t have trouble keeping up or doing the work. I only had a few months left and I was done altogether.
At lunchtime, Lilith sat across from me at one of the outside tables, making jokes and being her normal self. Then she jumped up and said she forgot she had a paper due at the end of the day and needed to go work in the library. It sounded like a total line, but I let it go. I was just about to leave, not wanting to sit out there by myself, when not ten seconds later, I felt him.
I turned to see Seth behind me, walking slowly toward me, a coffee cup in his hand from the place where we met. I felt a breath shudder in my throat.
“Hey,” he ventured as soon as he reached me. He was so good at that—not letting things get awkward and weird.
“Hey.”
“You left your coffee in my truck this morning so I got you a new one. I’m on my way in to the station.”
“Forty-eight hours,” I mused.
He nodded. “Forty-eight hours.”
I bit my lip and looked down at the ground. I don’t know why I felt guilty. I didn’t do anything wrong. I had always known that whoever I met I’d marry right away, but if he had been a normal human, he wouldn’t know about our kind, would he? And I wouldn’t be pushing him to marry me right away, would I? I’d understand. I expected him to understand because he was from our world…but he really wasn’t, was he?
I expected too much from him. Not just in this, but in a lot of things. I had to look at him differently.
“No, you don’t.” I startled when I realized he was right up against me, his chin was almost touching my forehead. “I never said I didn’t want to marry you, Ava. I just never thought I’d never get to ask the girl.” A noise emerged from the back of my throat. I closed my eyes. I heard him sigh. “I’m not saying this right. I’m not trying to make you feel bad; I’m just trying to explain.”
“I get it.” I opened my eyes, almost wishing he would go at this point. He obviously wanted to. He hadn’t even touched me. I saw him wince with that statement. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for t
his whole…thing.”
“Ava—”
“Miss Jacobson, you’re going to be late for my class.” I looked away from Seth’s blue, intense eyes to see my professor walking past. “I’m almost late, so you’re almost late, too. Let’s go.”
I heard an aggravated noise leave my throat as he walked around me and I let my gaze settle back on my significant. “I better go,” I whispered.
“Yeah, it’s too cold out here.” He eyed me up and down and I couldn’t help but notice the shiver that went through him. “You shouldn’t be sitting out here with those on anyway.”
The tights.
I wanted so much to smile, to smirk, to go back to the playful banter we were so good at this morning, but all I could have done in this moment was burst into tears. Even though he was mad at me—or whatever he was—he still cared enough to worry. But was it because of the bond, or me? A few hours ago, I thought I knew.
“Yeah,” I said softly. “Bye.”
I turned so he wouldn’t see my face crumple, but it must not have mattered. My heart was in his chest and he could feel it breaking. He grabbed my coat-covered arm. “Ava,” he begged, for what I didn’t know.
I wiped under my eyes, but didn’t turn. “You’re going to be late. And so am I.”
“That doesn’t matter,” he mumbled, but was thinking about getting reamed from his chief for being late and all the extra duties around the firehouse for it. And he was thinking that he needed me to release him when we were done talking. He could feel it already. His legs wouldn’t move. I sighed a little.
“I’m fine. I’ll see you later. We’ll figure it out. Go.”
He wanted to give me his touch. He knew that these next couple days were going to be tricky, he hated the thought of me being in withdrawals later, but he backed away instead and walked back to his truck.
I stood there for a minute, just thinking, listening to the quiet of the quad and snow and noise of the bustle of students. And then walked swiftly to class.
_ _ _
Dad picked me up from school and took me to work. I ate supper and then retreated to my room, already feeling the day of not seeing Seth eat away at my body and soul.
