by Suzy Shearer
Damn woman!
He walked back to the desk. Maybe he should just go home. He rang Charles and told him to meet him out the front and then about half an hour later grabbed his coat and went downstairs. He let the receptionist know he was leaving—it was almost five anyway—and then went outside.
Charles pulled up with the car and Alex climbed in. The drive to his house took about thirty minutes. Alex opened his briefcase and jotted down notes on his upcoming Brazilian trip. He liked to use the drive time to read paperwork or to work out logistics of projects. He directed Charles to drive to the kitchen entrance then gave him the rest of the evening off as he went inside. His housekeeper, and Charles’s wife, Marie, met him in the kitchen.
“Will you be home tonight for a meal, Mister Alex?”
“Thanks, Marie, yes. Something light, please. Maybe a piece of steamed fish and vegetables.”
“Very well.”
He went through the kitchen, into the large family room. He crossed the family room, went into the salon, and then across the atrium into his master suite. Throwing his briefcase on the low table in the master foyer he walked to his bedroom and into the wardrobe. Alex took off his suit, shirt, and shoes; pulled a pair of soft black drawstring pants; and grabbed a T-shirt. Padding back through the bedroom he went out onto the large balcony that overlooked the ocean, his pool, and the gardens of his home.
He felt restless.
Pamela had left him and he found he had no interest in going out to those places where he knew like-minded people gathered. Much as he enjoyed having a sub under him, he just couldn’t be bothered putting forth the effort of meeting new women and choosing someone. Maybe that sounded cold, but it was the truth. The novelty and usefulness of BDSM clubs had long worn off. He enjoyed having a sub but was now fed up with the club life. In fact, it had been many years since he attended any regularly.
Dan’s and Pamela’s words were still chasing around his head. Much as he didn’t like to admit it, he honestly didn’t want to be that old man Dan threatened he’d be. He was fast coming to the realisation that life would be very lonely without anyone to share it with. But to share it would mean lowering his defences, and he doubted he ever could. Walking back inside Alex went down to the wide veranda that covered the back of the house. He threw himself into a couch and stared around. Ten minutes later he got up and wandered off again.
He felt lost, unsettled.
The back of the house rose higher than the front and he went down the set of stairs that led into the gardens. He wandered through them, along the path that led to his private beach. He stood watching the surf as it pounded against the shore. Barely five minutes later he turned and looked back at the house. Normally he felt a thrill knowing it belonged to him but tonight—nothing.
He was fifty-one years old. What did he have to show for it?
Granted his company was extremely successful, he had more money than he could ever spend in a dozen lifetimes, a wonderful home, and good friends in Dan and Stacy. He could do whatever he liked whenever he liked.
So why was he feeling so down?
Pamela had been with him longer than most subs. He had a feeling she’d expected he would collar her. He honestly felt bad because he thought that she may have actually been in love with him. Over the years he had always tried to be honest with the women who became his subs. He told them in the beginning that he had no intention of collaring them that they would never live with him. He made it perfectly plain this was nothing other than a sexual relationship. It was merely a Dom-sub sexual contract between two consenting adults. It was all about the sex and nothing else.
Alex made sure the written contract stated that along with the limits agreed on between them. There definitely could be no mistake made by either side. It was in black-and-white that he would take them to dinner, would always ensure they were driven home safely, and would give all the aftercare they deserved, but there would be no other relationship. He had to always make sure he kept his distance.
Yes, he enjoyed the time he spent with his sub, and yes, he always ensured that they were happy and never went home unsatisfied or still in sub-space. He would always ring them to check they never experienced sub-drop in the following days if he didn’t see them. He would send them flowers regularly.
But he now realised Pamela had been right. He didn’t have any idea of their favourite colour or flower. He never saw any of them socially, except to take them to dinner. Occasionally if he was forced to take a partner to a function he would ask his sub and buy her an appropriate dress as a gift.
Realising he needed to be honest with himself, he knew most subs thought they would be the one that would unlock his heart. But for him it wouldn’t happen. It was just a business arrangement between two people and he treated it as such. If there had been any chance that he might develop feelings for a woman he brutally broke off their arrangement. Always he protected his heart. But now he wondered if he’d missed any chance at love.
Then he snorted.
Love!
What a joke!
He’d spent his adult life avoiding it, avoiding any sort of emotional entanglement.
Damn Pamela and damn Dan!
He shook himself and walked back up the path. Marie would have dinner organised. He’d eat and then read for a while. He had the latest book by Clive Cussler, Havana Storm. He’d recently finished James Patterson’s latest, Hope to Die. He had started Undeniable: Evolution and the Science of Creation by Bill Nye—he tended to read a fiction book while he read nonfiction.
Walking into his library he got the first good feeling he’d had since Pamela walked out, except for hearing the “voice.” The library was his pride and joy. It was enormous. He loved to read. As a child his parents had encouraged his love of books, and he had never grown out of it.
Between the pages of a book was where he could escape the continuous fighting between his parents. He would pretend he had a happy family. He would pretend they loved each other and would always be there for him. In books he could pretend he never heard his parents continually tell him how poisonous it was to fall in love, could pretend they never drummed into him how people would twist and manipulate until they had you in their hands then they would leave you crushed with a broken heart.
Instead, when he read, he could be whoever he wanted. In books his heart was never cold, never frozen. When he read, his heart beat fast, and it filled with passion. When he read he imagined himself with a woman who loved him and would never leave him.
No one would ever know that his cold Dom exterior hid fears, hid desires, hid passions and it was only in his books that could he really relax. Only when he read was he filled with all the emotions others thought him incapable of. Only in books he could be filled with love. Only in books could his heart beat fast. They were his haven, his sanctuary. The place he could love and know it would never desert him.
Yes, that’s what he would do.
He would eat and then lose himself between the pages of a book.
Chapter Three
Alex walked into Dan’s office, a huge file in his hand. “Dan, have you got the final cost estimates for the otters?”
“No, but I’m pretty sure accounting has done them. Andrew said that Francine had finished them up last week.”
“Okay. I want to get everything organised, so the crew and I can leave here at the end of October. That’s not far from now.”
“Should be fine. We’ve got the visas and permits for everyone from Brazil, and everyone’s passports are up to date. Steven’s organised accommodation, transport, and guides. We’ve finally got all the paperwork signed by Naturatins, the Brazilian state environmental agency. They’re allowing you two weeks, and you’ll be based at Caseara, near the Cantão State Park’s headquarters.”
“Perfect. All the staff have been notified?”
“Yes. We’re just checking everyone’s shots are current, including yours. Think you might need to update your rabies and
yellow fever shots. I’ve organised for malaria tablets for everyone so you can all start them before you go.”
“Excellent.” Dan had to hide a smile as Alex continued very casually. “The promo’s doing well.”
“I thought it would. With Kallie’s voice and the subject it’s a surefire winner.”
“One week before the first broadcast. Hope the ratings are good.”
“They should be. Oh, incidentally, I got an e-mail from Kallie.”
Dan smothered a laugh when he saw Alex alert look.
“Did you?”
Alex’s blasé tone didn’t fool Dan. “Yes, she’ll be out here next week and wants to take me up on the offer of dinner.”
“That’s interesting.”
“So can I book you in as well?”
“I think not.”
Dan shook his head. “I’m actually meeting her at the convention. Lenny wants to go and I said I’d go, too. I’m taking Stacy along for the ride. We’re only going for one of the days. Kallie is involved at all four days.”
“Oh well, enjoy yourselves.”
Dan wasn’t deceived. Just the force casualness that Alex exuded let him know how much he was well and truly interested. He’d never seen Alex like this, and as he left the room Dan almost laughed out loud. It would be interesting to see if Alex asked about her when he got back from the convention.
* * * *
The day of the convention trip arrived, and Stacy, Lenny, and Dan took Stacy’s car. Dan had never been interested in having his own driver—he’d always loved driving himself around in his i8 BMW, but his car wasn’t built for three. Stacy had a BMW 3 series sedan, so plenty of room for them all.
They arrived just after nine. After assuring Dan he’d meet up with them for lunch Lenny wandered off leaving Stacy and Dan to their own devices. Dan had sent Kallie an e-mail, and they had arranged to her at nine thirty for coffee in the bistro that had been setup within the centre. Dan was excited as he wondered what she looked like.
He’d told Stacy that Alex thought she’d turn out to be an eighty-year-old chain smoker. Holding Stacy’s hand, he led her through the crowds and found the bistro.
“How will you know her, hon?”
“Beats me. She said she’d find us.”
“Okay.”
They walked inside, and Dan searched the faces around them. Patrons filled the room, but he wasn’t really sure who to look for when a very attractive woman approached him and touched his arm.
“Dan? I’m Kallista Robins.”
“Kallie! How are you?” He shook her hand.
“Good, it’s lovely to meet you.”
Dan felt slightly off-balance. Kallie wasn’t anything like he’d imagined her. He felt Stacy nudge his arm. “Sorry, this is my wife, Stacy.”
“Hi, Stacy.”
The two women sized each other up, and both smiled warmly as Dan looked around for a table.
“Over here, girls.”
He led them across the room, and they sat down at a booth against the wall. Stacy was barely able to contain her laughter as she sat. Dan slid in alongside her as Kallie sat opposite them.
Dan smiled across at Kallie and said, “Well I have to say you’re not what I expected.”
“Oh, and what did you expect?”
“Not sure actually.”
Stacy couldn’t contain herself any longer. “You’re certainly not eighty.”
“Eighty?”
Dan then explained about Alex’s idea. Kallie joined them in laughing merrily.
With a grin, Dan said, “I doubt you’d ever get mistaken for an elderly woman.”
“Actually you’d be surprised at the amount of people who have that idea. Not sure why.”
Dan grinned to himself. Kallie was—well, Kallie was gorgeous, as breathtaking as her voice. She looked to be about five six, Dan thought. She was shorter than Stacy, who was five eight. He guessed her age to be in her midforties and was surprised when she later told them she was forty-nine. Her amazing bright blue eyes seemed to bore right into him, but they were also filled with unshed laughter. Her medium brown hair was cut short, a spiky cut with blonde tips. She had the sort of figure a lot of men, himself included, dream about—full breasts, lots of delicious curves, padded for pleasure as Dan liked to think. She was no skinny waif but a beautiful plus-sized woman with a very seductive voice.
She also wore a plain solid gold collar around her neck. He checked her hands, no rings. Dan wondered whether it was it just a piece of jewelry or whether it was something else?
Stacy leant over to him. “You have to order at the counter, hon.”
“Oh, okay. What would you like, Kallie?”
After she told him, he walked over and joined the long queue. About ten minutes later, he finally made it to the front and ordered for the three of them. Walking back with the three coffees on a tray he saw Kallie and Stacy were knee-deep in conversation. When he sat again, their talk seemed to change subject abruptly to talk about the convention.
They spend a delightful hour with Kallie.
She was a very interesting person and accomplished in quite a number of fields. She spoke several languages and had a PhD in sound and audio engineering. Surprisingly she was also the part owner of Sonic Max Studios. She was coming back here and would run the main branch, but she would keep doing a few voice-overs. When she first started out in the industry, doing voice-overs had been her full-time job while she studied at university, but now she continued to do them because she enjoyed it.
Kallie did admit now she was selective at how many she did and only narrated three or four a year. Dan told her he was thankful she accepted the commission to do their promo.
She’d told him it was only because of the content—sex life of plants! Then she laughed. Even her laugh was sexy.
Regretfully they parted company, but Dan reminded her that she was coming to dinner in two nights. He wanted to arrange transport for her, but she said she’d grab a cab because she wasn’t sure what time she’d get away. She assured Stacy she’d be there by seven. They left her and wandered around the centre.
Dan wrapped his arm around Stacy’s waist.
She cocked her head and looked up at him. “Guess what?”
“You love me?”
“Mm, maybe.”
“I love it when you rack up punishments.” He kissed her forehead when she grinned up at him. “Okay. I give up what?”
“Our Ms. Robins is a sub.”
Dan stopped, so suddenly stunned he almost pulled Stacy off balance. “What!” He looked at his wife. “How on earth do you know that? So that was a collar.”
Stacy put her hand to her collar. “She asked me if I was a sub. She thought the collar was a giveaway. Mind you, only another sub would recognise it for what it is. When I said yes, she told me she was one, too.”
“You’re joking?”
“Nope. Kallie is a sub.”
“Damn!” He pulled Stacy closer, and they started walking again. “When I saw her I thought of Alex immediately. I want that bastard to meet someone and fall madly in love like I have with you.”
“Dan, I’d love that, too, but as much as I love Alex, I know exactly how scared he is of love.”
“Oh, well, doesn’t matter now we know Kallie’s already collared.”
Stacy was grinning up at Dan. “I haven’t told you it all. She was collared years ago and was with the Dom for eight years, but then he died from cancer three years ago. She’s been unattached ever since.”
“But why does she still wear a collar?”
“Not sure exactly. You came back too soon. She said at first she was devastated then gradually got over it. I got the idea that she just doesn’t want to get involved again, so she uses the collar as a disguise.”
“Mm, I wonder. We have to get Alex to come to dinner. These two have to meet.”
“Dan, you can’t play matchmaker, not with Alex. You know what he’s like.”
“Yeah, s
weetheart, I do.” He could hear the regret in his voice. “I just want to shake him sometimes.” Dan lifted Stacy’s hand to his lips. “I want him to be happy like I am with you.”
“Me, too. Well, all you can do is ask him to come and leave it up to him. Maybe his curiosity will get the better of him.”
“I hope so.”
The remainder of the day they spent gathering information and looking at all the booths. When they got back into the car late in the afternoon all three were tired.
“Should have used a hired car or at least got Charles to drive us. I’m tired.”
“At least it isn’t too far away.”
They dropped Lenny off at his apartment then continued home. Stacy and Dan actually lived alongside Alex. Their home and his shared the same private beach, although Alex owned more of the land than they did. The bushland plants had been allowed to grow between the two houses, and it blocked each house from the other’s view. On top of that there were kilometres between them.
Both Alex and Dan had bought the land when they were in their twenties and then built their houses on it. They liked being close to each other without actually living in each other’s pockets. The two of them liked to keep fit by running along the beach, surfing, or cycling through the many tracks they’d made through the bushland. Between the pair of them, they owned almost seventy-five hectares and most of it was still in its natural state.
When Dan saw Alex the following day he asked him if he’d come to dinner the next night. He never mentioned Kallie and hoped Alex wouldn’t ask. Being sneaky, he asked Alex when he knew he was busy with something and not fully concentrating. Alex had said yes in a distracted way and gone on with whatever he was doing. Dan had grinned as he walked into his own office. Late the following afternoon, he’d stuck his head in Alex’s office as he was leaving.
“Don’t forget, dinner at my place tonight.”
“That was tonight? Oh, I’ll be there about seven, okay?”
“Perfect. See you.”
He quickly left, smiling to himself. Alex was in for a shock!
