by Karin Baine
‘She’s the doctor for the team so, yes, she’ll be travelling too.’
‘Is she your girlfriend?’
Charlotte had to smile at the forthright Canadian side of the gene pool. Why dance around a subject you wanted a straight answer to?
‘I guess... We’ve been spending a lot of time together. Would that be a problem?’
Alfie was worryingly silent, and Charlotte’s heart was in her throat, waiting for the answer. It must be so much worse for Hunter. If his son didn’t want her to be in their lives she knew he wouldn’t force the issue, and where would that leave her? Time ticked by like treacle as they both waited for Alfie’s verdict.
‘I like her.’
‘Me too.’
‘Is she going to be my new mum?’
‘I...er...it’s too soon to be thinking about that. I don’t know. Would you want her to be?’
‘Well, she wouldn’t be my real mum but she is cool.’
Charlotte’s heart stuttered right along with Hunter’s voice and she was unsure whether to duck back into the bathroom or leave the premises altogether. She couldn’t breathe. The last thing she wanted was for Alfie to rely on her being around. The boy had only just found his father, found a stable influence, and it wasn’t fair she should be included when she knew nothing of how to parent. She couldn’t bear the pressure of that expectation if she and Hunter didn’t work out. Didn’t want to be the cause of more pain and loss for him when she knew all too well how devastating that could be to a child.
There was no way she was lining herself up to be Alfie’s mum, or anyone else’s, and if that was what Hunter was looking for it was definitely time to back off. She’d already let herself get too involved, permitting her heart to take over from common sense.
Hunter and Alfie were still too raw to include her as anything but a passing acquaintance in their lives, even if they couldn’t see it. If she was going to risk her heart and her dignity again, she needed some chance of a happy ending too. The wicked stepmother never got hers. It usually comprised a grisly death or a lifetime of misery.
She waited until they broke apart before she re-joined them. It would’ve been insensitive to interrupt them and immature to walk out without saying a word. In Alfie’s eyes she didn’t want to be anything more than a friend. A non-threatening, nothing-serious female friend. It was probably best if it stayed that way.
She plastered a big smile over her slowly breaking heart. ‘Who wants some ice cream?’
It was her prerogative to eat her body weight in chocolate fudge ice cream to console herself when she was going to have to put a stop to this runaway affair.
‘Me!’ Hunter and Alfie chorused with their hands in the air.
She was honestly delighted for them that they’d built the foundation for a lovely life together. It just shouldn’t include her in it.
By the time they’d polished off their desserts it was nearly curfew time for Hunter and Alfie. She’d seen him anxiously checking his watch, not wanting his allotted time with his son to end but unwilling to get on the wrong side of Alfie’s gatekeepers. It was difficult for him and she wouldn’t purposely make things any more complicated for either of them.
‘Could you drop me home before you take Alfie back?’ She ignored Hunter’s startled reaction to her request, knowing full well he’d avoid a scene in front of Alfie by asking why.
In his head it probably made more sense for her to wait here or in his car until he’d dropped him off, so they could continue their quality time together. However, for her, that time had passed. If she made the decision to break up with him now before anything else happened it would be kinder in the long run. He got to keep his son and she got custody of her dignity.
They travelled the short distance back with Hunter quietly seething in the driver’s seat next to her, hunched over the steering wheel, jaw clenched, forbidding a conversation he didn’t want to have in front of his son.
‘Thanks for lunch.’ She was already unbuckling her seat belt and opening the car door before either of them had a chance to respond.
Unfortunately Hunter’s quick reflexes hadn’t waned since his hockey-playing days. She heard the engine being turned off and the car door open and close before she even had her house keys in her hand.
‘Why the sudden rush to get away? I know I’ve been a bit preoccupied with Alfie but I promise I’ll devote my full attention to you for the rest of the evening.’ The growl in his voice and the sudden darkening in his eyes was promise enough of a good time.
Charlotte’s libido insisted she abandon the moral high ground to taste the delights he was offering her. A night of passion from the man who could turn her insides to mush with innuendo alone was almost too hot to even contemplate. Every time he looked at her that way her body shivered in anticipation, but the fantasy was over.
‘I would never deny you that time with your son. I know every second is precious after missing so much. That’s why I’m taking a step back, Hunter. It’s too much, too soon for me. I have enough to worry about with the play-offs. I’m sorry, this simply isn’t going to work.’
There, she was letting him off the hook. He should be grateful she was making this easy for him, not frowning as though someone had confiscated his skates. Fatherhood had to be about more than his ego.
‘I don’t understand.’
He wouldn’t because she wasn’t going to tell him she’d overheard their heart to heart and make him feel any guiltier than he already did.
‘Of course you’re going to need to spend time with your son, it’s only natural. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t understand that? You two are making great progress and with Anderson back on track too we should probably quit while we’re ahead. If you think about it, neither of us are in the right place to start anything just now.’ She forced brightness into her eyes and smile to hide the shadow suddenly cast over her heart.
She was being honest in that she wouldn’t deny them their time together—this was a child who needed his father, and vice versa. This situation simply highlighted the need for all the defence mechanisms she’d somehow forgotten in the chaos of getting to know them both.
It just proved how much you had to sacrifice for the greater good where kids were concerned, even when they weren’t yours.
He stood there, forcing her to watch the pain and confusion burrow into his handsome features. So this was how it felt to hurt someone? How did her father or Hunter’s parents ever live with themselves when her stomach was churning with self-loathing and a sudden urge to whip herself with birch branches?
‘We’ve got the play-offs. We should concentrate on that and put this all behind us.’
‘And you’ll find that easy to do?’
‘Yes.’
The intensity of his stare burning a hole into her soul, searching for the truth, made her breath catch on the lie. At least at the end of the season they’d be able to concentrate on their other priorities, away from each other.
‘Right.’
It was a body-check to his ego but he’d get over it, over her, in no time at all. Really, they’d only known each other for a few short days. Not enough to expect him to spend the night crying wrapped in a comfy duvet, the way she’d probably spend her night. That was totally her prerogative. As was trying to be altruistic here.
‘So I guess I’ll see you at the airport.’ She didn’t hang around so she could feel any worse. This wasn’t going to be a clean break when she’d be flying off soon for a weekend away with the very man she should be avoiding at all costs. There was a very strong chance she’d discover breaking up with him was the last thing she wanted to do.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ORDINARILY THE PLAY-OFFS were the high point of the season and this one should have been especially sweet for Hunter. He was back with
the Demons and they’d made it to the finals. However, he seemed to have built an immunity to play-off fever. He was excited for the guys but it was no longer the most important thing in his life.
It had been harder than he’d imagined leaving Northern Ireland, leaving Alfie, even for a few days. He missed his son already. There was a hole in his chest, a void in his day and that awful sick feeling that something was missing. Not even his numerous phone calls home had helped improve his general mood.
In the end he’d had to concede it wasn’t only his newly forged role of father that had him propping up the bar, staring into his drink, while the rest of the team was getting an early night.
He was missing Charlotte too. It didn’t matter they’d shared the plane, the bus and the workload getting here, the emotional ties had disintegrated. Worse still, he didn’t even know why it had happened or why it was bothering him so much.
He’d taken the grilling from the O’Reillys over Charlotte because naturally they’d wanted to know who she was. Regardless of the fact she’d cooled significantly towards him since their night together he’d defended his right to see her and had stood up to them when apparently having her in his, or Alfie’s, life was no longer an issue. Somewhere deep down he’d believed Charlotte was worth taking the stand.
Ultimately it had been Alfie himself who’d put the argument to bed with a simple ‘I like Charlotte. She’s not my mum but she’s Daddy’s friend. And mine?’ he’d added hopefully.
Hunter had nodded, only wishing Charlotte could’ve seen their situation in such simple terms too. He hadn’t been actively searching for a mother for his son if that’s what had scared her off. They’d been getting along well, so well perhaps he’d gotten too carried away with the idea of becoming a cosy threesome and she’d picked up on it. It was difficult not to let his hopes and dreams for the future shine through when he’d had everything he’d ever wanted as they’d skated around the rink hand in hand.
Charlotte would never take Sara’s place in Hunter’s heart because she’d given him Alfie but she did hold a much bigger part of it. Damn it if he hadn’t gone and fallen for her. Now he was actually capable of loving himself and his son, it had left the door open for a wonderful woman just like her. Only her.
In trying to do right by everyone he’d messed everything up. He’d upset the O’Reillys and lost Charlotte, none of which was going to help his relationship with Alfie. This do-over had simply been a repeat of his past mistakes. Compounded this time because his son was old enough to witness his foul-ups and experience the consequences.
As he stared down at the murky depths of his pint he considered downing it and ordering some shots. A few years ago that’s exactly how he would’ve coped with this—by blanking it all out so he didn’t feel anything. Only the image of the disappointed faces of those close to him wouldn’t let him flush everything he’d worked so hard for down the toilet. He’d done that once before and it had been too damned hard to get back to where he was now to go down that same dead end.
‘Hunter Torrance. I’d heard you were back in town.’
He almost had the self-pity knocked out of him as a meaty palm slapped him squarely between the shoulder blades. His hand clenched in a fist in an automatic response and released again when he saw who it was. Chris Cooper, CC to his teammates, had spent a couple of seasons at the Demons before he’d moved to England to play.
Now he was assured it wasn’t someone here in Nottingham wanting to settle an old score, Hunter happily shook hands and ordered his old friend a drink.
‘Yeah. I’m the physio for the Demons these days.’
‘I’d heard that.’ CC nodded sympathetically, as many did on hearing about the career change. It didn’t bother Hunter any more.
‘And you? Still involved in the game?’ He hadn’t kept in touch with anyone, too busy trying to sort his own life out to keep track of anyone else’s.
‘You could say that.’ CC grinned and took a mouthful of lager.
Hunter did the same, his mouth suddenly dry with that awful sensation he’d missed something big. Most of the guys he’d played alongside were retired these days and he hadn’t seen any familiar names on the coach roster apart from Gray. That only left ‘Management?’
‘I made a few property investments along the way, made my name there after I retired and was able to buy my way back into the game. I’m part owner of the London Lasers now.’ There was no boasting there, more of an I-know-I’m-a-lucky-son-of-a-gun vibe from him, but to have that sort of clout in the industry took more than a well-timed gamble.
‘Impressive. So I take it you’re settled in London, then? Wife? Kids?’ CC had been a blow-in, just like him, so there would’ve been some reason for him to stick around after his playing days were over. Perhaps if Hunter had known about Alfie he wouldn’t have left either.
‘Married to Lenora for five years and we have two girls, Lily and Daisy.’ He was beaming now, his already ruddy complexion shining with pride, and Hunter was alarmed to find he envied his marital status more than his bank balance.
Precisely when had he become the settling-down type, yearning for a wife and two point four children? Probably around the time Alfie and Charlotte had crashed into his life and turned it inside out. He’d had his days of partying and reckless behaviour. Now he found more pleasure in simply being in the company of those he loved. He didn’t have to chase the good times any more when they came so easily. At least they had done until recently. He took another gulp of beer.
‘What about you? Who, or what, brought you back?’
It was a simple question, an obvious one between two old friends catching up, yet Hunter took his time replying. His circumstances weren’t wrapped up as succinctly as his new drinking buddy’s but he was done with keeping secrets.
‘I have a son, Alfie. Things didn’t work out between me and his mum. As I’m sure you’re aware, I...er...had a few problems back in the day.’
‘Kudos to you for getting back on your feet.’ CC held his glass up to toast him before a split second of panic hit. ‘This is okay, isn’t it? I mean, I’m not enabling your fall off the wagon here or anything?’
That was always going to be a worry for everyone who’d witnessed his overindulgence, and something he made sure to keep in check himself, but he wasn’t that same hurting, out-of-control kid any more.
He clinked his glass to CC’s. ‘Those days are long gone. I’ll be tucked up in bed after this one. I’ve turned into something of a bore since becoming a dad.’
‘Some might call it being responsible. There’s nothing like having kids to curtail the partying. So, you’re settled for good in Ireland?’
‘That’s where Alfie is.’ He’d never really considered being anywhere else.
‘And you have a permanent position with the Demons? It’s all set in stone?’ CC was digging even deeper than Charlotte had in the beginning but Hunter had no more skeletons lurking in his closet. At least, none he was aware of.
‘Well, no. Not as yet. I was drafted in on a handshake. I’d like to stay on but I’ll be working on building up my own practice too once I’m settled.’ That had been his original plan but reaching out to Gray had given him his lucky break and enabled him to make the move sooner than expected. It might’ve been a trial run but it was also a pay cheque whilst he got to know his son.
‘Hmm.’ CC twirled the cardboard beer mat between his fingers, his mind working overtime somewhere else.
‘Hmm, what?’
‘We could do with a stand-up guy like you with the Lasers. We’ve built up quite a medical team focused on strengthening our players. It would be good to have you on board next season.’ The steely set of his jaw said this was a serious offer, not a throw-away comment over drinks.
‘Are you serious? I mean, the last time we saw each other I was a bit worse for wear.’ W
hilst the job offer had damn near knocked him off his bar stool, he didn’t want CC to be mixing him up with someone else.
‘I think tossing the entire team’s collection of sticks across the ice was a particular highlight but, yes, I’m serious.’ He rested his elbow on the bar top and leaned in. ‘Look, everyone deserves a second chance. I’ve been there myself. Let’s just say there was a dark period in between hockey and the property empire. I know what it takes to start over and that’s the kind of strength and determination I like to see on a résumé. Besides, who’s in a better position to know what hockey players’ bodies go through than an ex-pro?’
This had come so out of the blue Hunter couldn’t process it and found himself having to break it down in simple terms to get his head around it. ‘You’re actually offering me a job? In London? Wow!’
CC nodded and his belief in Hunter’s abilities on face value made it tempting to latch onto the exciting opportunity. A job in London could set him up financially for some time to come and offer so many opportunities for him and Alfie. A new city, new team might finally help him put the past behind him for good. He’d only been in the dad role for a short time and he’d already fallen back into old habits by getting involved with someone without properly thinking it through. He still had to find a way to break it to Alfie that Charlotte would no longer be in their lives and the last thing he wanted to do was let his son get hurt in the crossfire of his love life.
A new start away from the everyday reminders of his failures might be just what they needed to start healing. It wouldn’t hurt to find out a bit more about it at least.
‘Come see me tomorrow before the game. We can have a proper discussion in private.’ CC pulled a business card from his wallet and gave it to Hunter.
CC downed his pint and shook Hunter’s hand as he got up to leave. ‘Oh, and good luck for the finals. You’re gonna need it.’ Even here and now between old teammates the competitive spirit was alive and kicking.
