“Why are you here right now?” she asked. Owen and Maria stood in the doorway, blocking what little light there was. She shooed them back. “I’m perfectly safe,” she told Owen who balked at leaving her sight.
Nick gasped, his eyes widening. “But you’re not safe, darling.” Owen hissed at the endearment and she waved him off again, wanting to hear Nick’s version of events. “They’re going to harm you. There’s a faction, or there will be a faction— it’s all so perplexing and my head hurts so much after that Bergen fiend roughed me up. Please untie me, we have to leave this place.”
Maria thundered into the cramped space, fire in her eyes. She leaned over and pointed directly into Nick’s face, pressing her fingertip into the space between his brows. “Tell the truth. All of it,” she commanded in a voice that brooked no opposition. Even Ariana recoiled from it.
Nick’s eyes glazed over and he spoke in a droning monotone. “Milo made me think things that couldn’t have been true, but they were. They were memories of something that hadn’t happened yet. I wanted revenge—”
“Against who?” Ariana interrupted.
“Your mother, except she wasn’t your mother yet. She spurned my advances, humiliated me. When I met you and found out who you were I thought it would be a lark to make you fall in love with me and then break your heart. But there was so much power, so much wealth. And I was in debt. I couldn’t go home. There were others who planted the seed of removing you from power in the coven…”
“You mean killing her,” Owen called over Maria’s shoulder. She stood her ground and didn’t let him in.
“Let him finish his tale and then we’ll decide what to do with him,” Maria said coldly.
“Go on, Nick,” Ariana said, starting to shake at hearing him tell everything as if he was simply reading a rather mundane news report.
“That’s right,” Nick answered in the same monotone. “It was poison. We misjudged how many were on our side, though, and the ones who weren’t questioned your absence. They demanded to hear from your own lips that you no longer wanted to lead them or be a part of the coven. They refused to believe you would just leave them.”
“Because she wouldn’t, you—” Owen tried to get past Maria again, but she was far stronger than her malnourished looking frame should have allowed.
Nick blinked a few times but didn’t snap out of his trance. Ariana waved for him to go on and he continued. “We thought there would be violence, a war of sorts. Then your mother showed up. I threatened her as if you were still alive and she pretended to be you. Made a speech about leaving the coven and that Milo and I would be in charge.” He stopped abruptly.
“What happened then?” Ariana asked, transfixed.
He shook his head slowly. “No one knows. No one remembers. That’s all Milo could make me recall.”
“What about this time around?” Maria asked. “Were you a part of the plot against Ariana this time?”
“Not at first. I thought it was rubbish. A bad dream or something false he’d planted in my mind. But then I—”
“I’ve heard enough,” Owen snapped, finally getting past Maria. “Ariana shouldn’t have to listen to it.”
“No, I want to hear it,” Ariana said. “Why’s he all beat up and tied in here if he was part of it?”
Nick spoke over them, cutting off their arguments. “But then I decided you didn’t really love me. I knew you didn’t, in fact, and it made me question if I really loved you.”
“I knew this wicked pile of excrement wasn’t your soulmate,” Owen said, kicking him in the thigh.
“Of course he wasn’t,” Maria agreed. “But Ariana decides what becomes of him.”
She put her hand on Owen’s sleeve and he backed up. Ariana found that her heart didn’t hurt as much as she thought it might at hearing the man she loved admit to killing her, at least one time. She supposed he was right and she’d been fooling herself all along.
Nick kept explaining as if he hadn’t been kicked at all. “I finally agreed to carry out the plan as it had been before. But I couldn’t do it. You didn’t deserve to die. I’m a greedy man, a wastrel, a womanizer, a liar, and terrible at gambling…” He took a breath to continue his list of flaws while Maria smirked.
“He has to tell the truth,” she reminded them. “Back to Ariana and why you’re here,” she said in her forceful voice.
“But I’m no murderer. I could never kill an innocent. I don’t think I could ever kill anyone. I was about to flee the country to avoid a duel when Milo found me. I don’t know what changed or why I was a part of it the first time, but I would never harm her now. I tried to stop them but Milo hit me with spells and that brute Bergen just hit me.”
They stood in silence for a while, his story having found it’s end.
“What do you want to do?” Maria asked. “He admits to killing you once.”
“That’s a murderer,” Owen chimed in. “Once is enough. He had a change of heart this time, but who’s to say this doesn’t keep looping around and around? What if there’s a next time?”
Ariana pressed her hands to her eyes, wanting to block out everything, not knowing what to do. In this moment, Nick was innocent. It wouldn’t be self defense as it had been with Milo and Bergen.
“Can you make him remember what happened the first time? After he… after my mother showed up?”
“Certainly,” Maria said. She leaned down and flicked him on the side of the head. “Remember,” she commanded.
He squirmed against his bonds and gurgled as if in terrible pain, squeezing his eyes shut. They backed away from him as best they could in the cramped confines of the shed. Ariana was about to tell her to stop whatever was happening to him when he took a wheezing breath and opened his eyes. They skated over her and Maria and rested on Owen, growing wide with fear.
“You,” he said.
“Me?” Owen asked. He looked a little fearful himself.
Nick broke down into tears, maniacally laughing through them. “Someone healed her, the poison wasn’t strong enough. She came back and called for … you.”
“I didn’t die,” Ariana said, nauseated with relief. She had to lean over and grip her knees. Maria bumped her aside and stood over Nick, who trembled and gurgled some more.
“Then what?”
“H-he knew who was to blame. He killed them like it was nothing, at least six dead in one blow. Milo and I and a few others tried to hide. They told me about him, his power and madness. You could see the dread in their eyes. They knew we didn’t stand a chance.” His eyes bugged madly and he laughed and sobbed until he fell limp against the wall. He looked up at Ariana. She’d never seen anything so pitiful in all her life. She knew it would plague her and she looked away. He giggled weakly and sniffed. “That’s why no one could remember. There was nothing to recall. He killed us. Killed us all.”
“No I didn’t,” Owen whispered. “I wouldn’t.”
Maria shoved him out of the shed. “What do you want to do with him?” she asked, staring contemptuously at the wriggling mess. The man Ariana thought she loved.
Now all she felt was pity and guilt. The thought that she had enjoyed his kisses filled her with shame. If she hadn’t died in that other future, had she been part of the massacre? Had she ordered it? None of it made sense. She thought her current state seemed low, but that other life sounded like a nightmare. She’d never had such a bad dream. The weight of it was too heavy for her and she sank to the ground, as far from Nick as she could get. He didn’t seem to know they were there anymore, as if he’d gone completely mad from the recollections that had been forced upon him. She shuddered with more guilt. How did one remember their own death?
“Ariana? What should I do with him?” Maria asked again, pulling her out of her thoughts.
She wrenched her gaze from the pathetic sight and tried to focus on what to do with him. As much as she despised magic in that moment, she knew she had to utilize it at least once more.
“Ca
n you wipe his memories? Any memories of me, of this and that other time, and get him on the ship to Italy? He was going for an investment. If he can get to Italy and never remember, everything should be fine.”
“If we let him live, there’s always a chance he’ll find you again somehow.”
Ariana blanched at the mention of letting him live. She didn’t want that kind of control or power over anyone. “I don’t think so,” she said after some careful thought. “It was Milo who made him remember the first time. Or second time—” She clutched her weary head. “At any rate, Milo’s gone. I can’t live with killing him in cold blood. Whatever might have happened that other time, he’s helpless now.” She couldn’t make herself say innocent. After all, he’d merely gotten cold feet this time. If it hadn’t been for Owen and Maria, she’d still be dead despite his change of heart. “We can’t murder anyone.” She heard Owen moan outside the shed and she ignored him for the moment. It was probably just hitting him what he’d done in the house. “Can you do all that? Make him forget and get him on that ship back in his own time?”
Maria raised a haughty brow that wasn’t very Maria-like at all. “Of course. Go wait outside with Owen.
She didn’t look back at Nick as she left. It wasn’t him anymore, not the man she’d known. Or the man she thought she’d known. She wedged the rickety door shut and sat down by Owen, who huddled under a tree several feet away.
“You’ll be fine,” she said, patting his knee.
He refused to look at her. “Am I a monster? Was I?”
“You’re not a monster. That other time didn’t happen. Not really. It was my mother’s bad dream.” And a lot of other poor saps, she thought.
“But look at what I did in there.” He nodded toward the house in the distance.
“You saved my life,” she said crisply, but feeling as wilted as a trampled dandelion. “You’re a hero.” She slung her arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder.
“If you say so.” He sounded slightly less broken.
“I do,” she affirmed. “And you agree with me, right?”
He snorted. “As if I have a choice.”
A bit later Maria came out of the shed, dusting her hands on her skirt. Ariana didn’t know if she was making her hands or her skirt dustier, then looked down at her own gown. They were all in dire need of baths and fresh clothes.
“It’s done,” she said, heading back toward the house.
Owen scrambled to the door of the shed and looked in. He turned to Ariana with wide eyes. “He’s gone. What did you let her do?”
He ran after Maria, shouting. Ariana caught up with them to hear them bickering back and forth.
“We should have discussed it and taken a vote,” Owen said.
“It was Ariana’s decision,” Maria told him. When he demanded to know why, she shrugged and said, “It’s her life.”
“But I’m responsible for you.” He looked as tormented as when he found out he’d slaughtered the coven. “I’m responsible for what you do.” He lowered his voice. “Like in the village.”
“What happened in the village?” Ariana asked, hoping to stop their argument. Her head already pounded and she could use some silence.
“Someone tried to hurt Owen so I hurt them back,” Maria answered.
Ariana looked at Owen, feeling chastened by this disconcerting response. He pursed his lips at her bitterly. “She’s dangerous.”
“Did you do what I asked and only that?” Ariana asked Maria. Once again she’d forgotten it wasn’t really her sweet, benign friend they were dealing with.
“I made him forget and sent him to Italy in his own time,” she said. “He’s going to write to his brother twice a year so he doesn’t worry about him and so you can keep tabs.”
“Well, that’s all right, then,” Owen said.
“So glad you approve.” Maria rolled her eyes at Ariana and she tittered. Men.
“Well, what do we do now?” he asked, ignoring their little moment against him.
Maria veered away from them, toward the stables. “We go to Scotland like you promised.”
Chapter 20
Kostya left the breakfast room after barely eating a bite. He hadn’t seen Ashford or Tilly yet that morning, nor at supper the night before. He hoped it was because they were discussing the issue of the house burning down. Kostya still couldn’t fully believe Belmary House was gone, let alone that Ashford was responsible for it. Serena hadn’t wanted him to interfere, even after he confided to her about Ashford’s plan to seek out Nick Kerr.
“He’d never be so stupid,” she’d said dismissively and they ate their supper in the state of quiet worry they’d grown accustomed to over the last weeks.
The twins and Nathan clattered past him on the stairs on their way to their own breakfast and Kostya met up with Tilly at the landing. She looked mussed and tired and he assumed he was right that she and Ashford had been having it out. He felt slightly sorry for Ashford. Since Ariana’s disappearance, Tilly had been uncharacteristically short with everyone, but more so with Ashford, not seeming to notice that the poor man had been eviscerating himself with guilt already. He needed his wife’s support, not her censure, when he couldn’t get any spells to work. Still, he probably did deserve dressing down if he did indeed set their home on fire.
“Up late last night making sure Ashford never does another harebrained thing again?” he asked with forced joviality, trying to bring a spark of light to her eyes.
“That would be impossible,” she said. Oh dear, it looked as if he’d reignited her rage with his quip. “I haven’t seen or spoken to him since we were all in his study together. I bunked in with the boys last night and that’s why we’re coming down so late this morning. I’m still so angry I’m afraid if I see him I’ll break something, namely his face.”
Well, that wasn’t what Kostya expected to hear. That meant Ashford had been alone since the previous afternoon. Alone and simmering in a very bad idea. He tried to keep the anxiety off his face as he moved aside for Tilly to get down the stairs. As soon as she was safely at the bottom and around the corner, he hurried to Ashford’s study.
As he feared, the room was empty. Both sides of his desk were a mess of his chicken scratch notes for spells, but there was a disturbingly empty area in the middle. He’d taken some papers with him.
“Oh Ashford, you couldn’t be that stupid, could you?” But stupid wasn’t the proper word and Kostya knew it. He knew exactly how desperate Ashford was to save his daughter.
Not wanting to panic yet, he decided to go and see if Ashford might have actually taken his advice and gone to sleep. He had been so sleep deprived it was possible that if he’d managed to fall asleep at all, he may still be blissfully slumbering. Kostya didn’t really think so, but forced himself to be calm.
As he passed the window, some movement on the hill caught his eye. It wasn’t the lone groundskeeper who kept the family cemetery neat and tidy, but three figures trudged up the hill. He moved closer to the window and squinted to make out who it might be. He sagged with relief when he made out the unmistakable gait of his son. Owen followed behind a petite dark-haired girl, with another girl close behind Owen.
“Dear God, let that be Ariana,” he prayed. He didn’t dare get Tilly’s hopes up without knowing for sure and immediately took off to find out, forgetting all about Ashford.
***
Owen hated coming up this hill. He barely understood why they had stopped here to begin with, but he was so tired he almost didn’t care anymore. He just did what Maria said and as they neared the road to his house, instead of passing it by for her mysterious destination, she’d turned her horse onto it. Then they actually turned up the lane that didn’t go anywhere but his house and he began to wonder if she was going to let them stop and rest for the night. He almost cried at the thought of sleeping in his own bed.
No matter how she’d tried, Maria couldn’t make their journey any faster than their horses would carry
them. Ariana tried to explain that it was her. No location spell had ever worked on her. This had put Maria in a sour mood and she hadn’t spoken to them the entire journey. She’d barely let them stop to relieve themselves or get a bite to eat. Halfway through he demanded they change horses, refusing to be a horse killer on top of everything else he already had to live with. So with all her bluster to be wherever she wanted to go as quickly as possible, he didn’t understand at all why she was letting him go home.
“I hate coming up here,” he finally said. The house was so close. His bed and a hot meal were so close. He didn’t even care that a sound berating from his parents was also so close. He was happy to take whatever they wanted to throw at him. “There’s nothing up here, Maria. Just some—”
“Don’t waste your breath,” Ariana muttered. “She’s too far ahead to hear you anyway.”
Owen opened his mouth to inform Ariana that Maria could probably hear them at one thousand paces if she wanted to, but she grabbed his arm and pointed. Maria had stopped at the top of the hill and was grinning down at them. She looked radiantly happy, despite her tattered clothes and gaunt frame. She gestured for them to hurry up while bobbing on her toes in excitement. They both used the last of their reserves and charged the rest of the way, skidding to a halt in front of the Alexander and Povest family graves. She pointed proudly at one of them. Her bad mood from the journey seemed completely gone.
“That’s my name,” she said giddily, still bouncing. “I knew it was written down somewhere.”
“Your name’s Lucy?” Owen asked. “But how did you know about—”
He whirled around at a thumping sound to see Ariana had sat down hard, her voluminous skirts settling around her. She gaped at Maria.
“That’s what- who you are?” she asked, coughing to get the words out.
“Yes, that’s me.” Her voice no longer sounded anything like Maria. She sounded young and carefree. “Home at last. It’s been a long time away, but I was happy to do it. Happy to see some things as well. And for the new book, too, of course.”
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