The lines in Odo's face deepened.
"All right, Doctor Mora." He extended his arms and wiggled his fingers. "Take my hands."
Visions from the past filled Mora's mind. He chuckled despite his misery and reached out. Odo easily pulled him to his feet and slipped around to his back.
"I'll be right behind you," Odo said softly, his strong hands grasping Mora's upper arms. "Whenever you're ready."
Tears blurred Mora's sight when he forced himself to stand up straight. The sensations in his back and abdomen eclipsed the discomfort from his arthritic knee. His heart palpitated like it wanted to burst through his ribcage. Spots danced before his eyes. An involuntary moan escaped his throat. He cut it off and spoke instead. One word for each step.
"M-my father-- walked-- t-to his deathbed...like a-- like a proper man. He kissed mother, hugged me and-- he stagg-- augh!-- staggered into the...b-bedroom. We f-found him dead an hour...later. Heart attack...he knew it was coming. My father taught me how to die with-- dignity, and...ungh-- dammit! --I'm g-going to do this with...dignity!"
At his bedroom door, Mora shook Odo's hands off and limped the last three steps to his bed unassisted. He stumbled, falling against the side of the mattress. His pained grimace became a sly grin.
"See, Odo...I made it!"
And he laughed.
Delfeya syndrome, you might take my life, but you don't have my dignity. I took it back from you, you wretched disease! I've won!
Mora let Odo help him into bed. Walking took everything out of him. He no longer had the energy to vocalize the burning discomfort spreading up his torso like wildfire. His sides heaved with every breath he took, but he didn't care.
"I'll get your pain medicine. Here, take this first." Odo grabbed the oxygen mask off the shelf by the bed and placed it over Mora's nose and mouth. Then he gave him a dose of triptacederine. "Easy. Breathe. It will stop in a moment."
His circulation was so poor now. The medicine took almost three minutes to turn the supernova into a campfire. To him, it felt like an eternity.
"More," Mora coughed. Ooh, that really hurt.
"But the dosage chart for your body mass says-- "
"It's safe. Please..."
The hypospray hissed again, and the discomfort finally shrank to a manageable level. He relaxed, sighing. When medicated, he didn't feel pain as long as he refrained from bending at the waist.
"Now I know how you felt when you saw me in labor." Odo said. He replicated a cool wash cloth and pressed it to Mora's clammy brow. Oddly, the coldness helped him breathe deeper.
"Ah...yes..." Mora sucked air into his tired lungs. "You were so young, Odo." The mask muffled his voice. He took it off and held it against his chest. "So young when you came to me in a tiny jar..."
Odo tightened his jaw. "We can't change the past, Doctor Mora."
"Please, listen to me for once! Odo, I don't have time, I have to say this now...I was such a fool." Mora shook his head. "I didn't take your feelings into account. I didn't listen to you."
"You did everything right with Kejal."
"Kejal isn't you. Raising him doesn't erase my failure with you, Odo. I know this sort of talk still makes you uncomfortable, but I am going to say this anyway." Mora's eyes watered, and his voice cracked when he said, "You needed a father, and I treated you like a specimen. Everyone told me not to grow attached to you. I tried not to, but you were so vulnerable to the world, so eager to learn. You didn't belong in that lab."
"Doctor Mo-- "
"Odo, please...let me finish..."
Odo closed his mouth. Mora found himself fixed in his clear blue eyes. He gazed into them and spoke from his heart.
"You needed someone to guide you, and I didn't want it to be one of those damn Cardassians. Those parties...they were mistakes. All of them. I wanted to show off my research. I should have taken you away in secret, and I was too afraid of the repercussions. That's still no excuse. I was a coward. I was too prideful. I put my needs before yours. I was a fool. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Odo, I'm only asking to be heard. I'm sorry. For the shocks, for the acid, for my arrogance, for everything...I'm sorry."
Frowning, Odo straightened to his full, imposing height. He turned his head and stared out the window. His profile looked so natural now, so far evolved from where he began.
Finally, he let his shoulders slump.
"Doctor Mora...I...I hear you. Don't get me wrong...but I must confess that I, too, have been avoiding this conversation." Odo stared at his feet. His reflection superimposed itself over the first evening stars. "I read a story from Earth once, while I was still living on Deep Space Nine. It's the novelized version of a film many centuries old. I didn't understand it until I saw how close Kejal is to you. I'm no Talaxian, but it's a story that must be told rather than summarized. Are you up to hearing it?"
Mora replaced the oxygen mask on his face and struggled for breath. Sometimes, he had to flex his jaw to get the air down his throat.
"I'm...listening, Odo," he said.
Odo began to weave the tale.
"An old wood carver named Geppetto wanted a son, so he wished upon a star. A blue fairy came from the star and brought one of his marionettes to life as a little wooden boy named Pinocchio. Geppetto was overjoyed to have a son at last, and all Pinocchio wanted was to become a real child."
He ducked his head again, and did not pull away when Mora grasped his hand.
"Pinocchio tried to be a good son to his father, but he was led astray by a pair of con artists. They tricked him into working for a puppeteer who made him entertain an audience for money. Pinocchio realized he didn't like it and tried to leave, but the puppeteer locked him up. He told Pinocchio that once he outlived his usefulness, he would use him as firewood. Can you imagine how terrifying that sounds to a being made of wood?"
"And a child, no less," Mora gasped. He saw where this was going, but he wanted to hear the whole story. "Go on..."
"The blue fairy found Pinocchio in the puppeteer's clutches. He made the mistake of lying to her about his capture, and it set back his dream to become a complete child. She said he would become real once he proved himself brave, truthful and unselfish...or something to that effect. Then she helped him escape.
"But once again, before he reached home, Pinocchio was drawn astray by the wrong crowd. He followed his new 'friends' to a magical island where delinquent children mutated into donkeys. The donkeys were put to work in a mine. Pinocchio watched one of his friends change before his eyes. Then he sprouted donkey ears and a tail, and it frightened him into escaping the island.
"When he returned to his house, he discovered Geppetto went out to sea in search of him, and during his search he was swallowed by a whale. Pinocchio rushed fearlessly to the ocean to rescue his father. He let the same whale swallow him, and against all logic he found Geppetto in the whale's stomach. They somehow made the whale sneeze to escape its stomach, and it was angry to lose its meal. So it gave chase.
"Geppetto was too weak to keep swimming. He told Pinocchio to swim for shore. Pinocchio refused to leave his father, and he dragged him into an ocean cave too small for the whale to follow. The whale slammed into the rocks, apparently killing itself. The impact threw Geppetto and Pinocchio out the other side. Geppetto was briefly knocked out...and regained consciousness to find Pinocchio dead."
Mora trembled and squeezed Odo's hand. "And...?"
"Doctor Mora, all Pinocchio wanted was to be a flesh and blood child like his peers." Odo whispered. He flinched, closing his eyes. "And the fairy saw his courageous, unselfish act and how truly he loved his father...and she granted his wish to belong. Pinocchio was resurrected as a child. A real child."
"Odo?" Mora gripped Odo's fingers. He commanded his bedside lamp to turn on, and it filled the room with a dim white glow. Taking off the oxygen mask, he said, "Odo, look at me."
"I-I...can't..."
Mora lifted his head off the pillow. "Odo..."
/>
"Don't you see? Doctor Mora, I have always been an outsider looking in! Everywhere! Even among my own people! All my life, I've only wanted one thing, and I can't attain it! I give, and I give, and I-- " His voice rose higher and cracked. "It's all I wanted...to belong. To be the people around me. To laugh like them, to cry like them, to be loved like them. I never thought it possible until I met Nerys. But I still longed to have a parent like everyone around me. I didn't want Kejal to go through that pain, and I knew you would know how to raise him. And you did it well."
Suddenly, he leaned forward and something impossible happened to his face. "But I see you two, and as ridiculous as this sounds, I want that, too."
Mora reached up. He touched Odo's cheek. The droplet clinging to his lower eyelid morphed back into Changeling cytoplasm the second it lost contact with his skin. Another trickled free and merged back into his substance when it reached his chin.
He was witnessing an evolution. An opening. Here. Now.
Odo's features began to contort. He looked at his hands in a mix of terror and confusion.
Using the strength he could still muster, Mora pulled himself forward and truly embraced Odo for the first time in over thirty years.
Odo's hands pushed at his shoulders.
"Something's wrong. I'm-- " Two more teardrops spilled free. " --crying?"
He looked at Mora, his blue eyes huge. The same expression he wore after being bullied by Klingon children and giving up Kejal. No matter how his face changed, his eyes were still the most emotive part of him. And now they expressed the deep, unspoken agony he kept buried for so long.
"Yes." Mora brought him closer again. "You're crying."
"But I...w-why?"
"Because you just learned how," he replied. "You held these tears inside all your life. It's time to let them go. Let them fall, Odo. Just...let the tears fall."
At that, Odo closed his eyes. He hid his face and wept like a child on Mora's shoulder. Mora's nightshirt remained dry, but he didn't see Odo's tears as any less real than his own.
"I wanted-- to be-- real to you. The way you and Kejal...he is so close to you, and I never knew how to reach out." Odo choked on his words. "Now it's too late."
"No. No, Odo, it isn't." Mora said. It hurt, seeing the fullness of the pain he put Odo through, yet he was simultaneously grateful for witnessing its release. "We have right now. Here, lay down with me."
Odo climbed onto the soft mattress. His nose was running. That, too, dissolved back into his substance. He didn't appear to notice.
Mora braved the agony of moving again and settled on his side. He clutched Odo more protectively, erasing the last rift between them.
"You were always real to me, and now you're proving it to yourself. I'm so sorry for the times I caused you to believe otherwise. I made so many mistakes with you, and I can't take them back. But if I could, Odo...I would." He pursed his lips. "After you left, there was never a day that I didn't think about you."
"This is incredibly painful. Me. You. All of this."
"I know." Mora's eyes overflowed when Odo reciprocated his embrace.
"I'm at fault, too. I took everything out on you instead of talking to you. I don't regret leaving." He slowly regained his composure. "But I'm sorry for the way I did it."
"Shhh. That was then. You're here now." Mora smoothed Odo's hair with his palm. "And this, Odo," he jiggled Odo's shoulder, "this is healing. And we're achieving it together. Just like we used to."
"Together." Odo agreed. "But I think I'm a little old for this," he added without making any attempts to get up.
Mora barked in laughter and patted Odo's back. "Nonsense. Sons are never too old to need their fathers."
They were quiet for several minutes. Mora used the lull to focus on breathing.
Finally, Odo murmured, "Doctor Mora?"
"Hm?"
Odo's skin began to shimmer. He melted onto Mora's chest in his natural gelatinous state. Mora swallowed over the hot lump in his throat and ran his fingers through Odo's substance. Powerful images bombarded his mind like holographic movies on fast forward.
Cities rebuilding after a catastrophic war.
Colliding galaxies reaching a new equilibrium.
Sunrises following violent storms.
A tiny child racing into his father's arms.
"Oh..."
Tears welled in Mora's eyes. The pain in his back lessened as if someone reached inside his body and shrank the inflammation. He pressed his other hand to his mouth.
Odo reformed in the same position he was in before. "Are you all right?"
Mora sniffled and nodded. He dabbed the tears off his face with a fingertip still covered in Odo's substance. Odo touched his hand and absorbed the stray pieces of himself.
"Now that part of you is part of me." He whispered. "Any more regrets?"
"No. Not anymore." Mora said. He felt Odo embrace him again. His head sank back onto the pillow and his grip on consciousness slipped. He dreamed of Kejal coming into the room. Immediately upon waking again, he peered expectantly at the door.
"Oh, hugging!" Kejal appeared in the doorway. "Can I join?"
"Of course!" Mora pressed the control button that widened the left side of the bed and beckoned Kejal over. "Climb on behind me."
Kejal's arms joined Odo's. In seconds all three of them held each other.
"Now that you're both here..." Mora paused and took a few breaths off the oxygen mask before setting it aside again. Who kept sucking the air out of the room? "I'm surrounded by the best part of my life. I...I want to thank you two for everything. Both of you."
He glanced out the window. The stars glowing in the evening darkness weren't from Bajor's sky. They were too numerous, too close and too bright. He blinked, but the view did not change. When he looked straight ahead, he saw orange grass instead of his bedroom.
Kejal lifted his head. "You're welcome." Then he gave a little nudge. "Tell mother what you told me this morning."
"I'm going to die tonight." Mora said matter-of-factly.
Odo looked away. "I...had a feeling."
"Mm. When you look back on my death, remember me telling you this. Today was a good day." Mora's eyes crinkled. "A fantastic day."
"Doctor Mora..."
"Odo, it's just like my favorite lullaby. 'Mission is over, mission is done. I will miss you, children of the sun. Now it's time to go away...'" He found Kejal's hand and squeezed it. Then he kissed the top of Odo's head. "'Goodbye, goodbye, Milky Way.'"
Odo sat up halfway, his eyes wide. "You were the lights-out singer?"
Mora lifted both eyebrows. That memory took him way back.
"You heard me?"
"Yes...I never realized that was you. I, um..." Odo sighed. "I found it comforting."
"Oh..." Mora mused before taking another puff from the oxygen mask. He laid his head down on the pillow again, his gaze fixed on sky. "I'm glad it gave you something happy to remember."
Kejal pressed himself closer. So did Odo.
"I am at peace now." Mora murmured. He looked between the two Changelings, truly his sons in everything but genetic material, and grinned. "If anyone asks, tell them I died a happy man."
The strange grass kept tickling his ear. Outside the window, the stars became clearer as his eyes grew heavier. He found comfort in their gentle glow.
Kejal gripped his shoulder tighter. "I love you, father."
"I love you, too." Mora replied. He faced Odo. "And you. I love you."
"I know." Odo's mouth trembled. He pressed his lips into a line and whispered the next words. "I...love you, too."
Mora's eyes watered. He beamed in delight. Odo mirrored his expression. Finally, after all these years, they had a true connection.
"Thank you." He squeezed Odo's hand the same instant he felt Kejal rub his upper arm.
Everything fell into place at just the right time. His work was done.
Mora focused on his prayer shrine and mentally let go of
his life.
"Do you need anything?" asked Kejal.
"No." Mora forced another breath. "My sons are beside me." He smiled again with tears in his eyes. "I have everything I need."
His senses blanked out. For a moment, he floated above the foot of his own bed, watching Odo and Kejal embrace him. Then he inhaled and fell back into his body. Pink spots clouded his vision as though he stood up too fast for his blood pressure to compensate. He couldn't stop gasping.
"Easy." Odo said, "We're right here."
Another breath, and he saw the roof of his house from above the deka tree. Once more, he realized he was in bed, not floating in the sky.
Mora noticed someone putting the oxygen mask on his face. He pushed it back off since it didn't help anymore. Somebody brushed their palm over his forehead. Another hand massaged his fingers. A cool washcloth kept his lips moist.
"Mother, I think he's going to sleep." Kejal kissed him behind the ear. "You can sleep, father...we won't leave the room. I promise."
He tried to smile, yet he couldn't spare the energy to respond anymore. Breathing became his sole focus. Each gasp drove him towards a gigantic unknown.
Odo moved off the bed. Mora felt him take his hand.
"Doctor Mora, if you're comfortable, squeeze my hand once."
Mora managed to close his fingers around Odo's. He stroked his knuckles with his thumb until he grew too tired to keep it up.
Every time he took a breath, he left his body and came back. His eyesight dimmed until he only saw pink "static" against blackness.
"It's all right. We won't leave your side." Odo whispered. Vaguely, Mora saw his face contort. "I'm here."
"You were a great father to me." Kejal pressed against his back. "Never forget that."
Mora grasped Odo's hand again. He found Kejal's and squeezed it too.
His eyes closed on their own. The blackness became more absolute and time lost all meaning.
A voice reached him from far away. "Hey, it's Nerys. I'll take care of Odo and Kejal. You don't have to worry about them. I don't want to keep you waiting if you're ready to leave us, so I'll go. But first..." She spoke in a whisper, "Odo forgives you. I don't know if he told you that, but I want you to know."
Beginning: A Star Trek Novel (New Frontier Reloaded Book 2) Page 27
