When he determined Annie was sleeping soundly again, he went into the living room. “I could pretend I didn’t hear, but it would be a lie. Em’s right about telling the truth.”
Both women looked at him before Patty shook her head. “I have to go.”
“Wait—” Before Em could stop her she was gone. When she looked up at him her eyes were troubled. “This is a fine mess.”
No kidding, he thought.
And he didn’t just mean what he’d overheard.
Emily smiled at the gray-haired older man who’d followed her into the hall outside the E.R. trauma bay where his terminally ill wife was now breathing more easily.
She put her hand on his arm. “Mr. Mendenhall, I promise I’ll find a place for Esther in hospice care. They’ll keep her comfortable.”
“That’s what I want.” His dark eyes turned into black, bottomless pools of sadness. “Esther has taken care of me for over fifty years and now it’s my turn to make sure she has what she needs. We’ve had quantity togetherness and now it’s about quality.”
“I understand. Mercy Medical Center has a wonderful skilled nursing facility.” She closed the chart. “I’ll make some phone calls and make sure there’s a bed. Don’t worry.”
He smiled regretfully. “From your mouth to God’s ear.”
She turned away and walked down the hall past gurneys, medical machines and laundry carts toward the waiting area and the elevators beyond. Her heart was heavy for so many reasons, not the least of which was trying not to cry for a man and woman who’d spent more than half a century with each other and would soon have to say goodbye.
At least they had those years together. She’d never get a chance to find out what a life with Cal would have been like. And Patty was pregnant which was going to complicate the hell out of the life the teens were working so hard to build. Her vision blurred as moisture filled her eyes and she quickly moved past the information desk and a tall man standing there.
“Emily?”
Oh, for Pete’s sake. Why couldn’t she have the tiniest little meltdown in private?
She blinked the moisture from her eyes as best she could, brushed the rogue tears from her cheeks, sniffled and turned to see Cal’s father. “Ken,” she said with as much perkiness as she could. “Nice to see you.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, you know—” She shrugged.
“Is it Annie?”
“No,” she cried. “I dropped her off at Cal’s—”
“I assume he’s there?” his father asked wryly.
She smiled. “He is. I was called in to work and he isn’t in the E.R. today. We always try to make sure she’s with one of us if possible.”
“That’s wise,” he agreed.
“That’s us. The cool parents—”
When her voice caught, he took her elbow and guided her around the corner from the E.R. into a quiet hallway. “No one’s around. You can tell me what you’re upset about.”
“How much time have you got?” she asked, trying to joke her way out of talking.
“As much as you need. I’m here to see a patient, then I have the afternoon off.” He leaned a broad shoulder against the wall. “Spill it, young lady. Is it work? You came from the E.R.”
The man wasn’t giving her a choice. “I just came from talking with the spouse of a patient facing a terminal illness.”
“I’m sorry. That’s never easy.” He looked sympathetic even as he asked, “What else is bothering you?”
“One of the teens in my program just found out she’s having another baby, a second unplanned pregnancy.”
“I see.”
“The thing is, I tried so hard to get the message across to the girls that we all make mistakes, but we can learn from them.” She looked up at him. “I’m the wrong person to be telling them what to do.”
“Why would you say that?” he asked.
“I’m a failure. I always have been. I have no business trying to be a role model to these girls. It makes me a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do kind of person. They at least had the guts to keep their babies. I gave mine away—”
“That’s not true. You’re raising Annie. Very well, in my opinion.”
She pressed the chart in her hand against her chest. “I’m not talking about Annie. When I was fifteen I got pregnant and had a baby boy. My mother gave me a choice—give the baby up for adoption or leave. I tried leaving but the streets are no place to raise a baby and I figured he’d be better off with two parents, somewhere to live and food. Call me crazy.”
“Hardly.” His expression was sympathetic. “Do you regret giving your baby up?”
She thought about how to answer. “No. I regret not being in a position to give him the life he deserved. So I stepped aside and let the parents he deserved give him that life. He’d be twelve now, on the verge of being a man and I regret not being able to see him and know that everything is okay.” She regretted that the confession made Cal think less of her than he already had, but that wasn’t something she’d share with his father. Despite the thought, she met the man’s gaze directly. “Under the same circumstances I would do the same thing again.”
“But you don’t want that to happen to the teens you’re mentoring.”
It wasn’t a question and she appreciated that. “I want them to have more than one choice about what to do if an unplanned pregnancy happens.”
Ken nodded. “Then I’m sure you’ll help Patty through this difficult time.”
“Maybe I’m not the right person to counsel her. After all, I did the same thing.”
“Not exactly.” He folded his arms over his chest. “The pregnancy with Annie might have been unplanned, but you were in a position to care for her.”
Wow. He was defending her to herself. This man should have nothing but resentment and yet he didn’t. Like father, like son? Not so much.
“Cal told me about his past.”
He frowned and a muscle in his jaw jerked. “I remember when he came to Carol and me with the news that Lori was pregnant. We both advised him to move forward with his plans for school and we’d help Lori with the pregnancy, etcetera. But Cal insisted on getting married. What a disaster.”
“He’s an incredibly good and decent and special man.”
Ken studied her. “I don’t think I ever realized before that when you talk about him your face lights up.”
“Oh?” Apparently she was going to have to work harder on hiding her feelings.
“I’m Cal’s father and certainly his most enthusiastic supporter. But he doesn’t walk on water, Emily. In fact, after things didn’t work out between the two of you, he was quite the—How should I put this?” He thought for a moment. “Difficult to live with is the most delicate way to phrase it. He takes such pride in being the one to walk away.”
“The winner,” she said softly. “He hates to lose.”
“Exactly.”
So she’d hurt his pride, Em thought. That and two dollars would buy her a cup of coffee in the land of lost opportunities. Em knew he’d cared for her once, but she burned that bridge. There was no going back.
“I’m sorry to dump on you,” she said. “It’s just that the girls I’m trying to help are my family. A shrink would have a field day with me, trying to make a difference because of the one child I desperately wanted and couldn’t keep.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Emily. Everyone makes mistakes. Character is defined by how we deal with the messes we make.” He frowned. “I’m quite sure that was something Cal heard growing up and possibly factored into his decision to marry that deceitful witch.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Ken,” she echoed. “How could you know anyone would be so manipulative?”
“Certainly Carol and I had no clue. And Cal stayed with her way past the time when he should have left. It left a mark on him.” He shook his head. “Unfortunately that’s making him unwilling to take another chance. As you said, he hates to l
ose. That makes him a good doctor, but I’m afraid his personal life will suffer because of it.”
“Yeah—”
He glanced down when the pager on his belt vibrated. After looking at the display, he said, “I have to go.”
“Of course. I didn’t mean to keep you.”
“Not at all.” He gave her a quick hug. “Hang in there.”
What other choice did she have? she thought, watching him hurry away. He’d raised Cal to be the good man he was, the man she fell in love with, created a child with and fell in love with all over again as she watched him do the right thing by his daughter.
The future stretched in front of her holding nothing but pain because of interacting with him to share Annie. She’d made a mess of her life and standing on the outside looking in was her punishment. She couldn’t even say she didn’t deserve it.
Chapter Fourteen
Cal sat on the short end of the leather corner group in his family room with Annie in his arms while she drank from her sippy cup. His father had dropped by for a chat and was watching from the other end of the sofa as his relaxed granddaughter looked around with sleepy blue eyes and absently grabbed a bare foot.
There were times when love for his little girl hit Cal like a tsunami, overwhelming him with its power. This was one of those times and it seemed fitting that his dad was here.
“It’s not like you to stop by without calling, Dad. I’m glad I was here.”
“It wasn’t a whim. I ran into Emily at Mercy Medical Center. She said you were watching Annie. For the record it’s not you I’m here to visit.”
“Wow. I feel cherished.” Cal grinned when his father rolled his eyes. “How’s mom?”
“Fine. Shopping for our trip to Alaska.”
“When are you guys going?”
“A few weeks.” He shrugged. “Your mother could probably tell you when down to the hour and second.”
“She’s looking forward to it?”
“Yes. And that’s a gross understatement.”
“But you’re not?” Cal asked.
“I’m anticipating having your mother all to myself for ten days and—”
Cal held up a hand. “Too much information, Dad.”
His father grinned. “It’s far too easy to mess with you. Not even a challenge.”
Cal figured the bigger challenge was being married for so long. He’d always wanted what his parents had. They got it right with each other. He’d gone into his marriage to do the right thing, and instead turned into the biggest chump on the planet, suckered by the oldest con in the world—I’m pregnant with your child. Em was pregnant with his child and took him at his word when he’d adamantly declared ties and responsibilities were off limits for him. He smiled down at his daughter who was making a valiant effort not to fall asleep and figured he was eating those words now.
And not just because of Annie. He’d never gotten Emily out of his system even when they’d stopped seeing each other. The need for her lived inside him and had right from the beginning. It was more acute now than ever, but if he let her in knowing what she was capable of, he’d be worse than a chump.
“You know, Cal, I like that young woman. I always have.”
He’d been hearing that a lot lately. “Okay.”
“She was pretty upset when I saw her.”
“Did she tell you what was wrong?”
“Multiple things. But I think what upset her most was feeling like she failed the teenager in her program.”
He knew she’d taken the news of Patty’s pregnancy pretty hard. He also knew she was tough and didn’t wear her heart on her sleeve, so to confide in his dad wasn’t like her. “You win some, you lose some.”
“She’s not responsible for the choices others make.” Ken rested his elbows on his knees. “Only her own. She told me about the baby she gave up for adoption.”
“Really?” The intensity of his tone disturbed Annie who’d just drifted off and he shushed and bounced her until she settled again, then looked at his father. “I’m surprised she told you about that.”
“You make it sound as if she should be ashamed. In my opinion she showed courage, grace and dignity in an impossible situation. At fifteen and without family support there was no way for her to care for that child. A child she loved enough to give up. A child she’ll think about and miss every day of her life. I think she paid a very high price for that mistake and it’s not something I can hold against her.”
“What about the mistake with me? The one where she didn’t tell me that she was pregnant with my child. Your grandchild,” Cal added.
“The way I understand it, you made it crystal clear that you wanted no strings attached. Looking at it from her perspective, and knowing how deeply she cares about people, I believe she was trying to do the right thing.”
So not what Cal wanted to hear.
“You’re saying it’s my fault that she didn’t come clean about the pregnancy?”
“I think your past has affected you to the point that you’re painting every woman with a black brush.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” When Annie stirred in her sleep again, Cal stood and carried her to the blanket he’d set on the floor. Mental note: He really needed to get a crib. After putting his daughter down and soothing her until she quieted, he stood and motioned his father into the kitchen. “So you’re saying I sabotage every social interaction with a woman because of what happened in my marriage?”
Ken leaned against the counter beside the refrigerator and crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, son, all I’m saying is that you might want to cut Emily some slack, and give yourself a break. She made a mistake but so did you.”
“How?”
“Lori lied to you—”
“So did Em.”
“It’s not the same,” his father said. “Your wife was a master of manipulation. She lied to get you to marry her. She faked suicide attempts to pressure you into not leaving her.”
“You think I don’t know the attempts were a cry for help? I needed to spend more time with her and work on the relationship.”
“Which is exactly what she was counting on. If she’d been serious about killing herself, she’d have succeeded. It was emotional blackmail and worked brilliantly.”
“Until she walked out,” Cal said.
“Another way to hurt you.” His father looked grim. “She understood your competitive nature. After all she was there in high school. The cheerleader watching the quarterback pull out all the stops to have an undefeated season. Leaving you when she’d exhausted all exploitation to prolong the marriage was clearly a way to get back at you, to keep you from getting a notch in the win column.”
“What’s your point, Dad?”
Ken blew out a long breath. “Your mother and I tried to teach you and Brad to always do the right thing.”
“And?” Cal prompted.
“It backfired with you because of your tendency to be an overachiever who hates to lose. You take yourself out of play rather than risk failure.”
“Are you trying to give Dr. Phil competition?” Cal said.
“Hardly.” The older man smiled sadly. “I’m just pointing out that there’s no such thing as perfect.”
“You and mom practically are.”
“We work at it, son. You don’t see that. We’ve had our ups and downs. Don’t get me wrong. There are more ups, but relationships aren’t easy. The alternative is a series of unsatisfying social interactions. That sounds lonely and sad to me and I can’t stand by and say nothing while your personal life is turning into a train wreck.” Ken met his gaze. “Emily is the mother of your daughter.”
“Not a newsflash.” Cal didn’t want to hear this. “Are you playing cupid, Dad? Because if you are, I gotta say that the costume doesn’t look all that good on you.”
“You’re manufacturing a reason to keep Emily at arm’s length. She’s a remarkable woman.”
“A regular Mother Teresa.”
Ken put his hands on his hips. “She’s not a saint, but why would you want that? The flaws are so much more interesting. Humanity is all about learning from mistakes and trying to do better. Believe me you could do far worse.”
And he had, Cal thought. His father was right about one thing—he didn’t want to repeat the failure. Was he right about the rest? That he refused to give the right one a chance because the wrong one had worked him over?
Em remarkable?
Definitely.
Hot?
Oh, yeah.
Had he already taken a big, emotional step with her without realizing it? Was he in love with her? His father stopped short of saying that, but there was certainly some truth in everything else he’d said.
Em hit Cal’s number on her cell phone speed dial and waited for him to pick up while the knots in her stomach knotted just a little tighter.
“Hello?”
The sound of his deep voice so strong and confident shouldn’t be that wonderful to hear because it was the stuff of heartbreak, but she couldn’t stop the feeling. “Cal? It’s Emily.”
“I knew that. What with my caller ID and all. What’s up?”
“I need a favor.” She sat on her sofa and watched Annie toddle around the coffee table, trying to get the TV remote control that was just out of reach, then screech in frustration. Determination would be fantastic when she was an adult, but not so much now.
“What do you need?” Cal asked. There was no hint of suspicion in his voice and that should count for something.
“Can I leave Annie with you? I know you’re probably tired from working today, but—I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.”
“I didn’t work today and I’d love to keep Annie.” Now suspicion slipped into his tone. “You’ve got a date?”
“I wish.” That remark made her into the liar he already believed her to be. He was the only man on the planet that she’d give her heart and soul to be with. “Patty and Henry are gone. I need to look for them.”
“Gone? Where?”
She almost smiled. “If I knew the answer to that I wouldn’t have to look.”
The Doctor’s Secret Baby Page 17
