by Carol Roi
Blair tore his eyes from his partner for a second, his terrified gaze meeting the Immortal's. "What are you going to do?"
Diandra moved to the side of the cliff, looking for a stable area. Finding it, she said, "I'm going down." Easing herself over the edge, she descended rapidly, ignoring the rocks that tore at her hands and arms in her controlled slide, mentally cursing the sentinel. She knew he had reacted instinctively, shoving her to safety, but it had been a stupid, stupid move. The fall might have killed her, but she had the ability to come right back; he didn't. Reaching the bottom of the ravine, she scrambled over the broken ground, all her senses trained on the motionless sentinel.
Jim's heart still beat, but its rhythm was rapid and fluttery, his breathing strained and shallow. Before she even touched him, she'd catalogued a broken left femur, and judging by the heat she could feel radiating from him, severe internal injuries. She ran her fingertips lightly over him, her touch finding broken ribs, collarbone, and... goddess, no...
He moaned then, and his eyelids flickered. "Jim, don't try to move. Just lie still." She raised her eyes to the top of the cliff, and called out. "How long on that harness?"
"Almost done!" Megan yelled back.
"I need Blair down here ASAP!" she answered, then turned her attention back to the injured man in front of her. "Jim, can you hear me?"
His eyes opened slowly, their gaze unfocused. "Dee? What happened?"
"You took a nasty fall, Ellison. Can you tell me where it hurts?"
He blinked a couple times, his brow furrowing. "I don't... I can't feel anything... ." She heard his heartbeat begin to race, and knew he'd come to the same conclusion she had. "My neck's broken, isn't it?" he stated quietly.
Letting out the breath she'd been holding, she said softly, "Yes. Will you let me help you?" The part of her tuned in to the people up top noted Blair was beginning his descent.
Jim closed his eyes, and for a moment she thought he'd slipped into unconsciousness again. She had moved her hands into position, preparing to go to work, when his eyes opened again, their vision no longer clouded. "Dee, you know how I feel about your... magic... "
Her fingers curled into fists of frustration. "Damn it, Ellison. If you don't let me help you, you are going to die out here."
The muscles of his throat spasmed as he tried to swallow. "Maybe that would be for the best... "
Anger and horror fought for dominance. Anger won. "Fuck you, James Ellison! I won't let you do that to Lobo, and I won't let you make me the instrument of your death!"
A shadow fell over the sentinel and champion, and they both looked up into the frightened, confused face of Blair Sandburg. Two words escaped his lips, "Why, Jim?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two weeks from the time the gauntlet had been thrown down in the bullpen of Major Crimes, the players gathered at Simon Banks' cabin north of Seacouver. Enthusiasm had quickly overcome the police captain's misgivings, and he had spent the time devising the rules and the setup for the game. His son, Daryl, had that weekend off as part of his spring break, and once his father had filled him in on the premise, Daryl had demanded to be allowed to participate. Simon had quickly adapted the game to allow for two judges, one for each team. The two had taken the Friday before the paintball weekend off, and had spent the day hiding the target, as well as constructing a tangled web of false trails for the two teams to unravel.
As Simon glanced about his partially rebuilt kitchen at Megan washing dishes, and Diandra and Jim drying, he remembered a time eight months ago when he'd been sure one of the two sentinels would end up dead at the hands of the other. And Connor... who would have ever thought she would end up as a guide, partnering the unique woman who had captured Sandburg's heart. Dee's ability to take the Cascade PD's resident Romeo off the market was mystery enough in itself, but the fact that Jim Ellison seemed okay with their relationship was nothing short of a miracle.
He gazed out the open doors to the deck, feeling a smile cross his face as he watched his son conversing with Blair. Simon had wondered if their friendship would survive Blair declaring his thesis, his academic life's work, a fraud, since Daryl had looked up to the former grad student from the moment they'd met. His son had surprised him, though. He'd come straight to his father as soon as Simon had been well enough to discuss the subject, and told him he knew that every word Blair had spoken at the press conference had been a lie. The circle of people dedicated to protecting the sentinel and guide had just grown by one more.
"So, Simon," Dee said, interrupting the tall man's retrospection, "has Daryl made up his mind about college yet?"
He nodded, taking a plate from her and placing it in the cupboard. "He still wants to be a cop, but he's agreed to attend college first."
"Has he decided where he's going to go?" Jim asked.
"He's been accepted at Seacouver College, and he's seriously considering it since they have a very good criminal justice program."
Megan pulled the drain on the sink and turned on the tap to rinse the last of the suds away. "Is he going to live in the dorm or commute?"
"Dorm. His mother thinks it will be good for him, help him mature." Simon's snort was his opinion of his ex-wife's view.
Diandra had been drying the same fork for some time, her expression thoughtful. "Is he going to work along with going to school?"
Banks nodded. "He's been offered a partial scholarship, and I'm footing the bill for the rest, but he knows he'll have to find a job if he wants any spending money."
"You know, Duncan can always use someone to help out a couple days a week at the dojo... and I think they would have a lot in common." Jim's head shot up at Dee's cryptic comment, but she only shrugged, giving him an innocent smile.
"That might not be such a bad idea, Captain," Megan seconded. "Dee and I can keep kind of an unofficial eye on him."
Simon straightened up, placing his hands on his hips and glaring at the two women. "Do you think my son is going to get into that much trouble?"
The three dishwashers looked at each other and chorused, "Yes!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So, Blair, what do you think?" Daryl asked, his enthusiasm plainly visible on his face even in the fading spring twilight. "Do you think if I take classes during the summer, and take the maximum credits each semester, that I can graduate in three years?"
Blair stared at the beer bottle dangling in his hands, then lifted it to his lips and took a drink. He leaned against the deck railing and finally, realizing he'd been silent a bit too long, said, "Yeah, man, it can be done. But it's real easy to burn out that way. Better to take the full four years and go to the academy the second year you're eligible, instead of the first. Besides, you might find something that interests you more than becoming a cop." He took another sip of his beer, finding the taste suddenly bitter.
Daryl shook his head. "Huh uh, no way. I wanna be like my dad. I wanna help people the way you and Jim and Megan do."
Turning away from the teenager, Blair stared out into the woods, feeling his stomach hitch and roil at Daryl's words. His fingers tightened around the smooth glass of the bottle. "There's plenty of ways to help people without becoming a cop, Daryl."
The young man frowned, confused by his friend's change of attitude. "What's with you? A couple months ago you were championing my decision to my dad, and now you're acting like my going to the police academy is a bad idea. You're going there yourself in a little over a month, what gives?"
Blair ran a hand through his hair, pushing the long strands behind his ear. Sighing, he said, "I just don't want you to get so focused on being a cop that you don't explore anything else. Life goes by fast enough as it is; slow down enough that you enjoy college. It's not just about books, and studying, and getting that degree."
Daryl rolled his eyes. "I know that, man."
Glancing back over his sh
oulder at him, Blair said, "And it's not about partying and women, either."
"Blair... ."
"Okay, okay, I'll shut up now. Just think long and hard before you make any decision that's going to affect the rest of your life." Been nice if you could've taken your own advice, Sandburg, he thought.
Simon chose that moment to stick his head out the door. "Daryl, can you come in a sec?"
"Sure, Dad. Later, Blair." Daryl went inside, and Blair was left alone with his thoughts, which were not particularly good company.
The deck squeaked behind him as someone else came outside, but the guide didn't turn around. "Chief? Something bothering you?"
He felt Jim join him in leaning on the railing, but he didn't look at him. "Just talking with Daryl about college. Nothing big."
Jim rested his back against the wood rail, folding his arms over his chest and crossing one ankle over the other. "Big enough my guts are tied in knots."
Damn connection. "Sorry." Blair took one last drink from his beer, and poured the rest into the grass.
The sentinel tried again. "You wanna talk about it?"
The younger man began to unwind the label from the beer bottle, intent on removing it in one long strand. "Not really, Jim. Just brought back memories, that's all." He heard the older man's sharp intake of breath, but didn't elaborate.
"Look, Blair, I know this must be hard on you, seeing Daryl so eager about something you were forced to give up... "
Blair cut him off. "I wasn't 'forced' into anything; it was my decision to make, and I made it. I'd do it again. But now it's over and done with, and I really don't want to talk about something I wouldn't change if I could." He stuffed the paper he'd torn off the bottle down its neck, and set it on the railing hard enough that Jim had to reach out a hand to steady it to keep it from crashing to the ground.
The two men stood in silence for few minutes, Blair staring out at the trees, and Jim staring at him, trying to figure out where his partner's head was at that moment in time. Finally, he said, "Chief... "
Again, the younger man interrupted him. "I know we need to talk, Jim, about a lot of things, but not now. I need to figure it out for myself, first, before I can talk to you."
His partner's abrupt words grated on the detective and he straightened, then headed for the cabin door, taking the empty beer bottle with him. Passing the sofa where Dee and Megan were sitting looking over some of the companion's sketches, he caught the Immortal's eye. Hooking a thumb in the direction of the deck, he growled, "Your turn."
Rising, Dee crossed the room and slipped outside, closing the door behind her. Blair hadn't moved, still leaning on his arms, which rested on the railing. Coming up behind him, she placed her hand lightly on his back, gently rubbing in a circular motion, but not saying a word.
Blair closed his eyes at her comforting touch, the part of him that was bitter and angry slowly fading as the incredible love he felt flowing down their bond wrapped itself around him like a warm blanket. He straightened up, feeling her arms slide around his waist, and he leaned back against her solid support, resting his hands on her forearms where they wound around his stomach.
He wasn't sure exactly how long they stood like that, but the stars had come out by the time he finally spoke, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I'm so confused, Dee." Her embrace tightened, and he felt her cheek come to rest against his hair. He swallowed nervously, trying to settle the butterflies that had taken up residence in his stomach. "I thought I did the right thing; I know I did the right thing. But why am I having so many doubts now?" She didn't answer, and Blair continued, trying to sort out his jumbled feelings aloud. "Jim's my other half, my partner, and I would do anything to protect him, to keep my place at his side. So why does the idea of going to the academy, of becoming a cop, of being his partner for 'real', unnerve me so much?" His tone dropped to a level only she could hear. "Why does it feel so wrong?"
Blair turned around in her arms, looking for the answer in her eyes. When she remained silent, he said with a little smile, "That wasn't a rhetorical question, angel. Don't you have an opinion, or some advice, or something else to say to me?"
After pressing a kiss to his forehead, Dee answered him. "Yeah, I have an opinion, but it's mine, so I feel no need to share it with you." She gave him a grin. "And, yes, I do have some advice. Listen to your heart, because it holds the answers you seek. Figuring out what language it's speaking is another thing altogether." Blair laughed, as she'd hoped he would, and she continued. "And my something else is: no matter what you decide, no matter which path you take, or what you do with the rest of your life, I will always love you." She felt the sudden hiccup in his breathing at her words. "I am so proud of you, Lobo. I don't think I tell you that often enough."
Blair hugged her tighter, burying his face in her neck for a long couple of moments before saying, "How come you always know what to say to make me feel better?"
As he looked back up at her, she ran her fingers through his chestnut curls. Her blue eyes met his as she told him, "I've been around a long time... " She smiled at his soft laugh at her understatement. "And one thing I've learned is that life is much too short not to say what's in your heart."
His hand came up to gently cup her cheek, and his words were quietly reverent. "I love you."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ellison shifted in his chair and turned another page in the magazine he held, shaking his head slowly. The tension he'd been picking up from Blair had faded ten minutes ago, replaced by an incredible warmth. Once again Diandra had worked her magic on his guide, and they still hadn't spoken a word.
He was eavesdropping shamelessly, knowing that whatever Blair hadn't been able to say to him, he would confide to her. That bothered him a little bit, but he realized he wasn't the type of person one felt comfortable talking about feelings with, probably because such conversations made him very uneasy. He glanced at Megan, who was busy drawing. She wasn't paying him any attention, and he relaxed slightly, stretching his hearing out a little more, finally picking up the couple's whispered conversation.
What he heard was... a shock. Blair was having second thoughts about becoming his partner, about being a cop. The pages of the magazine tore in his hands, and Megan looked up at him, then at the glass door leading to the deck. She turned back to him, one eyebrow raised.
Jim laid the torn paper down, and ran his hand over his face, hiding his expression from the companion. He reached out again, hearing Blair say, "How come you always know what to say to make me feel better?" Tuning out his guide's words then, he concentrated on their connection, sensing only calm and peace, where confusion had reigned before. "How in the hell does she do that?" he said, not realizing he'd spoken aloud.
Megan glanced at the entwined silhouettes outside. An affectionate smile crossed her lips as she answered him. "Unlike the rest of us mortals, Dee has absolutely no qualms about expressing what she feels, whether it's anger, or love."
Jim turned his attention to the scene on the deck again, watching as Diandra planted gentle kisses on his partner's forehead, cheeks, and eyelids before covering his mouth with hers. Blair returned the kiss, the expression on his face clearly one of joy. To be loved like that, so totally, so completely... Jim allowed himself a long moment of envy, then rose and went in search of Simon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blair dropped slowly to his knees beside his sentinel. Jim didn't want to live? He couldn't accept that, he wouldn't accept that. Jim was injured severely, he wasn't thinking straight, he didn't know what he was saying... Later, they would deal with this later, when Jim was better, after Dee had helped him. Tearing his gaze from his partner's unmoving form, he caught the champion's eyes. "How bad?" he whispered.
Dee ran a hand over her face, wiping the still falling rain from her eyes. "Concussion, internal injuries, broken leg, broken ribs, broken collarbone
, broken neck... ." The young man's sudden gasp stopped her in mid-sentence.
"You can help him right?" he asked anxiously.
"Yes, but... "
Jim's voice interrupted her this time. "Hey, I'm still here, don't I get a say in this?"
Blair's expression was harsh as he looked down at his friend. "No. This time what I say goes. You are going to let Dee help you. I don't care if that's not what you want. Your life is not yours alone anymore, or have you forgotten that?"
Jim closed his eyes for a moment, then said tightly, "Fine. Do what you have to do."
