by Leesa Bow
Penny turns around just as I finish chopping the last potato, her expression deadpan. “You know Rhett has never been one for rules.”
“Yeah, I got that a while ago.” I bite my lip to stop myself from getting side tracked. “I’d better take these out so he can cook them.” Before I push open the wire door with my hip, I glance back at Penny. “It’s why he’s been assigned to me. I’m not about to tarnish my reputation over someone like Rhett. And I don’t mean any disrespect. I know what’s at stake for both of us, and I’m here to help him get back on track.”
“Whatever you’re doing”—Penny raises one eyebrow—“it’s working.”
I smile at her. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Stepping onto the verandah, which surrounds the entire house, I hear Rhett ribbing his brothers from around the corner. The western side is decked with tables and chairs, a BBQ and side tables. Flares burn in the garden below, lighting up the area at twilight. The setup is remarkable. It reveals a clear view of the colourful western sky. A gentle breeze carries the smoke from the BBQ toward me, and I get a whiff of burnt meat. I cough and gag. Rhett turns, holding out a sausage on the end of a long fork.
“You okay?”
“I have the potatoes,” I say, trying not to breathe. He takes them from me and I turn to walk away.
Rhett grabs my arm. “Hey. Are you sure you’re okay?” I nod quickly, glancing down at the meat. He follows my line of gaze. “What is it?”
I cover my nose and mouth with my hand. “I’m a vegetarian,” I say, taking a step back. Rhett looks at the meat and then back at me. His lips part but he says nothing.
“What a douchebag,” Dustin says, and laughs.
Rhett glares at me. “Why didn’t you say something?”
I sense it’s not anger. I’ve embarrassed him in front of his brothers. “We’ve never discussed meals, or food for that matter.”
“You knew you were coming to a farm. Common sense would’ve told you to mention it,” he says dryly.
“An orchard,” I maintain. “What I eat usually isn’t a problem because there are alternatives, so it’s not something I feel the need to discuss. I’ll just have the salad. It’s no big deal.”
Rhett mumbles something under his breath.
“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, “but I can’t stay out here while you’re cooking.” My legs carry me away before he has a chance to respond, and I’m honestly disappointed, because the view is amazing.
“Take this,” he says to his brother. His feet pound the wooden deck behind me. I keep walking until I reach the front door. “Tori.” It’s almost a command.
I reach for the handle. I don’t look at him. “It’s not a problem,” I say quickly. But I can’t help feeling I’m the problem.
“I know. Can we talk a minute?”
“You stink, you know that?” I’m referring to his reaction more than the obvious. Still, I follow him to the eastern side of the house.
“I didn’t mean to be insensitive. You surprised me, and I hoped we were past the stage of surprising each other.”
Pulling my hand from his grasp I lean back against the railing and fold my arms across my chest. “You don’t know me. I know you think you do, but the truth is I know more about you than you do me. It’s the nature of my job. Talking to your mum put in perspective why I’m here. The risk we’re taking …”
His eyes flash open. “What did Mum say?”
“It’s not what she said. I told her the truth about why I’m here. It was a reminder of why we shouldn’t be doing this.” I wave a hand between Rhett and myself.
Rhett steps closer. His brow creases. “Doing what?”
“Don’t play games with me.” I straighten against the wooden bar of the porch. It’s pressing on my spine and there’s nowhere to go.
His blue eyes darken, reminding me of the black ocean at night. “Pretty sure it’s what you’re doing to me, Boss. Thought we straightened this out.” He’s standing so close our toes are inches apart, and I’m forced to lean back to look up at his face. He places a hand either side of me on the railing, bringing our faces even closer. “How ’bout you lay those rules down for me now. What shouldn’t we be doing?” His hot breath caresses my lips and cheek.
“This. Please don’t kiss me,” I whisper. I angle my face slightly away from his.
“Wasn’t going to. Only want to clear things up.”
“Then give me some room here.”
“Why?”
“You’re too close and I can’t think.”
“Thought you were supposed to break my balls. You’re not caving under the heat are you, Boss?”
I flinch at his mocking tone. I hold his gaze. “No.”
Rhett pushes off the railing. His eyes remain locked with mine. There’s now a comfortable space between us and I can breathe easily again. Something crosses his expression, but I don’t have time to dwell before he says, “We’ll see.” He stares, as though he’s assessing me. “No more surprises, Tori.” He turns and heads back to his brothers.
I let out a long breath before heading inside to Penny.
Sitting on the verandah and gazing up at the stars helps me to ignore Jase gnawing noisily into a chop bone beside me. The night is serene. The only sounds are crickets and other insects chirping in the distance. Not the rumble of engines, the sound of horns, or the chilling pitch of sirens I’m used to in my apartment.
“Can you make out any star configurations?” I ask after I push up from my chair and walk to the railing.
“I’m no astronomer, but if you look to your left you can see the Southern Cross.” Jase joins me and points up at the night sky.
“What about star signs?”
Jase pulls out his phone from his back pocket, opens an app, and holds it up at the sky. Dots connect on his screen and then names of the zodiac appear. I make a little excited sound and he laughs, handing me his phone like he’s giving a child a new toy.
“Show Tori the planet app,” Rhett says, and stands. I think he’s going to join us. Instead he collects our plates. “I’m on dish duty tonight, Mum. You stay out here.”
“I can help,’ I say quickly.
“No, I’m fine. Besides, my brother can teach you a thing or two.” He smiles, and my heart flutters. I’m relieved the tension between us has eased a little.
Jase takes the phone and holds it higher than I could manage. “My favourite time of year is just after Easter. Daylight saving is finished and the nights are clear. It’s not too cold to lie out here and stare up.”
“Whatever,” Dustin pipes in. “The best nights are on the river. Lying in the tinny.”
“Tinny?”
“Yeah. It’s our little fishing boat. Rhett doesn’t allow us to use his speed boat.”
“Or his jet ski,” Jase adds.
“His skis are in Adelaide with him. And you know why he won’t allow you to use his boat,” Penny says in a stern voice.
“Loads of lads drive without a licence when they’re with someone who has. And Dustin has a licence,” Jase says in a gruff tone.
“And Dustin is not always with you. If you’re caught you’ll never get a driver’s licence, which I might say isn’t a bad thing.”
Both boys groan at their mother. Penny directs her next statement to me. “There have been a few boat incidents lately; kids in the boats when they’re drunk.” She sighs loudly. “And the number of car accidents and kids getting seriously injured, if not killed, is frightening. Boys like to take risks. They love fast things. It’s in their nature. But I’m not going to sit back and allow my boys to do something stupid if I can help it. Not how Ben or I raised them.”
I realise she’s talking about her husband, and it’s the first time I’ve heard his name.
“Rhett agrees with me, and he won’t let them take his boat without him being here.”
“Hey, perhaps we could go out in it tomorrow. Tell him you want to go for a ride. He’ll give in to you,�
�� Jase says, and gives me a cheeky grin.
“Stop it,” Penny says abruptly. “Rhett has other things to worry about. Besides, he needs to head back to Adelaide around lunch time tomorrow. Both of you go inside and help your brother.”
After listening to their grumbles I lower my gaze, thinking about tomorrow and Monday. Contest will be in full swing, and Rhett and I will be denied special times like today. For the first time in a long while I curse the thought of work. His farm might be simple but it’s the calmest I’ve felt anywhere in as long as I can remember. And I don’t want to leave.
“When did Ben and you buy the farm, if you don’t mind me asking?” The garden flares throw enough light for me to see Penny smile.
“Of course not. The moment I stop talking about Ben is when he really dies.” She pauses for a moment and twirls the wedding ring on her finger. Her words are beautiful and my heart is opening to Penny. “The farm’s been in Ben’s family for three generations. His brother lives on the next farm over.” She nods in the direction of the grain fields. “He has sheep and farms other grains. His property is closer to the river. We divided the land before Rhett was born. Ben and I had a dream about extending the fruit trees into a larger orchard, and making it chemical free.”
“So you don’t use pesticides?” This piques my interest.
“We have geese, ducks, and other animals to keep it under control. We’ve also planted native trees and shrubs where the soil wasn’t as good or in paddock pockets, which get the most frost in winter. Ben took an interest in chemical-free produce.” She laughs and shakes her head. “Who knew organic food would be so big?” She shakes her head again. “Well, my smart husband decided biodiversity was the best way. Not to kill but encourage life. He was about living in harmony in more ways than one.” She straightens the material of her dress over her thighs with her hands. “I miss him more on some days.”
“Like today?” I whisper.
“Yeah, like today.” Her gaze falters.
“You have a beautiful family. He’d be proud.” I reach across and place my hand over hers in her lap, something I don’t often do, especially to people I’ve recently met. This family does something to me, and my reaction—reciprocating their warmth—is not like me.
Penny stares at my hand covering hers, surprised, but not as much as me at how easily I’ve let down my guard. “He’d like you,” she says and smiles.
Earlier today Rhett said the same thing to me. My chest aches at not being able to meet the man this family loves and admires. I don’t want to say anything so I nod.
After making light conversation for a few minutes, Penny pauses to swipe at the air. “Bloody mozzies. Best we also head inside.”
The boys are finishing up in the kitchen, and Penny guides me to the lounge room. There are pictures of her sons and their father on the farm, and other black-and-white pictures, which I can’t make out. I assume it to be Penny’s and Ben’s parents. She flicks on the television and we watch a current affair show until the boys come in and take over the remote. My concentration wanders and I’m staring at the photographs, and paintings of the local landscape. Rhett sits opposite and I sense his eyes on me. When I glance his way, he averts his gaze to the television.
He’s making me nervous. My thoughts are scattered. I’ve learnt enough about Rhett’s family history to understand him better—provide Grant with information to determine which contestants are best matched to him—yet I have this growing need to know more, to spend more time with him. Every minute, if possible. I keep telling myself it’s physical. Rhett does this to everyone. But my feelings are becoming harder to fight. I need space to clear my head, so I thank Penny for everything and excuse myself, then go to the bathroom to freshen up. When I enter my bedroom, I half expect Rhett to be in there, and am annoyed at the way my stomach drops when he’s not.
I lie awake, listening, but the only sounds I hear come from the lounge room. Today has taken a toll on my body, and although I want to stay awake and listen out for Rhett, my eyes have other ideas. Before I close them I think about Rhett lying beside me … one hand on my hip.
TORI
An urgent need to pee wakes me. I’m hot and sticky. There’s an uncomfortable weight on my stomach, and when I go to shift I realise it's Rhett’s arm. My breath catches. He has one leg hooked over mine, and one dead arm across my stomach. At first I don’t want to move, but then a sharp pain low in my stomach urges me to get up.
“Rhett,” I whisper, and tap his leg. He groans and rolls over. Moving lightly on my toes I proceed to the bathroom, checking the hallway first before stepping out in my lacy chemise. In hindsight, the chemise was probably not the best choice of sleep attire.
The bathroom light wakes my sleepy brain, alerting me to what will follow if I allow myself to let my guard down with Rhett. The closeness I feel to his family fills my heart in a foreign way. Rhett fulfils me in a completely different way; one I’m struggling to fight. I should sleep in the spare room. It’s the middle of the night, the loneliest time to be awake, and I remember how good it felt to lie beside him last night.
After splashing water on my neck, I acknowledge I’m taking a step closer to not being able to turn back without one of us getting hurt. Opening the bedroom door, enough light shines in for me to make out his bare body spread out on the bed. He’s wearing jocks, nothing else. I’m surprised how I even squeezed into the small space beside him. I close the door and tread quietly to the bed. Sitting on the edge I stare at his silhouette for a moment. As if sensing my presence, he sits up and sets a hand on my waist.
“What’s up?” he croaks. “Can’t you sleep?”
“I’m a little hot. More so with you in the bed.”
“I’ll take that as you want me, Boss.”
“What. Ever,” I murmur.
“I have a fan in the cupboard. Do you want me to set it up?”
“Yeah, I think it would help. Thanks.”
He flicks on the light and, while he locates the fan from the cupboard, I position myself on my side with a sheet over me, kicking out my legs.
After setting up the fan Rhett slides in behind me, draping his arm over my waist. “Good night, Boss,” he says, as though us sleeping together is no big deal.
“Good night, Rhett.” I breathe his name more than say it.
Earlier this morning Rhett had cooked breakfast before anyone managed to come out of their room. The aroma of bacon helped draw out his brothers from their slumber before eight. I showered before his mother woke.
Unsure when, or if, I’ll see Penny and Rhett’s brothers again, saying goodbye hurts more than it should. My heart cracks when Rhett says, “I’ll call and we’ll talk about Christmas.” Rhett’s family may have lost someone they love but it has brought them closer. Part of me wants to be part of this, wants him, but then I remind myself of the real reason I’m here. And nothing about my being here is real. I’ll disappear from their lives, and I doubt they’ll even remember me. Before Rhett steps into the car I rebuild my walls and check emails and messages on my phone. Thinking about work is the fastest way to pull myself out of the emotional riptide.
We drive in silence—except for my lame playlist—for the couple of hours it takes to reach Adelaide. The only conversation is directed to my song selection.
Rhett drops me at my apartment around two. I’m relieved to be home mid afternoon, as I have a few things to organise for tomorrow. I remind Rhett to arrive at the set early. Before I open the car door Rhett reaches for me. The basement carpark is hidden from the public but I still survey the area.
“Tinted windows,” he says, and leans in, capturing my mouth before I have time to object. One hand sits tightly on my shoulder. He has some sort of power over me because I surrender easily and kiss him back. I’m showering in his kiss, waking up, and bringing those dead emotions to life. His lips are soft, sweet and enticing. I want this, want to be kissing him so my tongue is the one finding his, stroking the length of it. Rhett
pulls back and assesses me. It’s only brief, for when his lips press into mine again the action is filled with need and wanting. His tongue is no longer playful but full of passion and promise. My head clouds with the longing. With a mind of their own my hands go to his waist and my fingers trace over his flat slab of abdominal muscle. I squeeze my thighs together when all my thoughts go south. He groans a little, and my pulse races.
Heading into dangerous waters, a voice tells me and I know I’m screwed.
I’m thankful not all self-control is lost. “I have to go,” I say against his lips.
“I’ll miss you tonight.” His voice is a low hum and wraps around me like a blanket, one I want to snuggle under, with him.
I open the door and look back one more time. Focus. “I need you to be looking fresh for the morning.” He goes to jump out of the car but I shake my head. “Stay. I can get my bag.”
His hand rests on his door, as though he wants to open it and come to me. “See you, Boss,” he says like a promise, before I close the door.
Overnight bag in hand, I shut the rear door. My stomach plummets watching him drive away. Pining will achieve nothing, so I do a mental tally of all the chores awaiting me inside.
It’s after six when I stop cleaning to check my phone. Already there’s a message from Rhett. Missing you.
It’s woeful how excited I am, and even more when I reply: Me too.
Then I delete the messages. Anything not work related is deleted.
At seven I receive another message. Have you eaten dinner?
My hair is draped in a towel, having just showered. No. Going to make myself a salad ;-)
My phone rings. Rhett Williams flashes on the screen.
“Hello.”
“I’m coming to get you and yes, I have salad.”
“What? No. You shouldn’t—”
“Be ready in five. I’m driving, so I’m hanging up. Be ready.”
