by Elise Marion
Chapter Seventeen: Love in the Darkness
A few hours after welcoming Harley and the others to Monroe House, Addison sat on the edge of the bed in the room she’d chosen for herself and released a deep sigh. While taking ownership of the house and starting to settle in felt good, she was now exhausted. It had been a long couple of days, and she’d barely slept the night before due to nightmares. The same ones seemed to be playing on a loop in her mind—her mother going up in flames in Hell, Lilith’s serpent form swallowing her whole, flames exploding from two slashes down her back as she fell and kept falling while Lucifer urged her to fly.
Now added to those horrors was Jack falling into a black pit with her powerless to help him. It didn’t matter how many times the dream came; it never changed. Jack plummeting, hand stretched up to her, calling her name … and her failing to catch him every time, watching him disappear into the pit, swallowed by darkness.
Maybe an afternoon nap would bring her better luck. After all, with light streaming through the window, and no dark shadows for her nightmares to hide in, what was there to be afraid of?
Falling onto her back, she forced her limbs to relax—which, considering her state of fatigue, wasn’t very hard. Near her pillow, Gabriel lay curled into a tight ball, sound asleep. If she wasn’t mistaken, he was also snoring.
“Jerkface,” she muttered at the cat, jealous that he could sleep so soundly when she was so restless.
Somewhere in the house her mother’s other cats had found new homes with her siblings. It had been a relief, finding a place to put them, as she hadn’t thought she could care for all four of them on her own. But Gabriel was special, and had been Elizabeth’s favorite, so Addison had claimed the little guy.
Turning away from the cat, she glanced up and traced the intricate pattern sewn into the curtains surrounding her bed. The queen-size mattress was more comfortable than anything she’d ever slept on. And even though Butch had insisted that the master suite belonged to her, Addison had given it to a family—one of her Naphil brothers and his wife. They had three kids. It seemed appropriate to give them all the space they needed. Her sister-in-law had sobbed and hugged her tight when she’d offered them the rooms, soaking Addison’s T-shirt with her tears.
The chamber she had chosen was much smaller, but still had more space than she needed. It had a door leading to the balcony facing the back of the house and the grounds stretching out toward the pond. There was also a bathroom connecting her room to the one Jack would share with Derek. It had been her intent to share one of the double-bed rooms with Alice, but everyone seemed to be of the opinion that she needed space to herself.
“It’s your house,” Alice had told her. “If anyone here shouldn’t have to have a roommate, it’s you.
Alice was rooming with Harley, while Micah would share a place across the hall with Antoine. Further down the hall, Drew was bunking with James. All twenty-one rooms had been filled, as well as half of the cabins out on the grounds. As more of her siblings arrived looking for refuge, the rooming situations might change from twos, to threes and fours. Some of the parlors might have to be converted to sleep spaces … but for now, everyone seemed content with the arrangements. There were still a lot of logistics to see to—like filling the refrigerator downstairs and coming up with a long-term plan to keep the water running and everyone fed, but at least, they all had a roof over their heads for now.
Drowsiness began to pull her under, and she closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax for the first time since she’d awakened after returning from Hell. For a long while, nothing but blackness sat behind her eyelids, for which she was grateful. Sleep came, and she began to sink.
She opened her eyes and found herself in the dilapidated trailer where Elizabeth had raised her. Faded curtains covered the windows, casting the kitchen and living room into shadows. Standing in the kitchen, she frowned to find everything where it had been when she’d lived there years ago. But, she and Jack had come the other day and emptied the cabinets, cleared the shelves, and put everything in boxes. Even the little plastic card table and matching chairs sat where they’d always been, a plate left over from someone’s meal abandoned there.
Furrowing her brow, Addison turned toward the living room, where the sound of the blaring television caught her attention.
Impossible. She and Jack had unplugged the television, and she’d called the cable company to cancel Elizabeth’s service. Yet, she could clearly hear voices coming from the set—and now that she stepped closer, could smell the throat-burning stench of Marlboros.
Pausing on the line where the linoleum met the living room carpet, she froze, her heart leaping up into her throat. The man who sat on the worn couch staring at her with dark, dead eyes was as familiar as the back of her hand. From the tar-stained fingers and sun-reddened skin, to the rough hair sprinkling his jaw, he appeared just as he’d been the day he’d died—the day she’d killed him.
Or, so she’d thought. Her stepfather had never really died, because he couldn’t be killed.
Eligos, not Buck, she reminded herself.
Blowing twin streams of smoke through his nostrils, he stared at her without blinking. “Might as well sit down. We gotta talk, gal.”
The gruff rasp of his voice sent a tremor through her. Her mind told her this was Eligos, her demon father, and while one would think a creature from the pits of Hell would be scarier than her stepdad, the opposite proved true.
“Talk about what?” she spat, remaining on her feet. “I don’t have shit to say to you.”
Inclining his head at her, Buck grinned. “Oh, but I got plenty to say to you, and you’re gonna sit your ass down and listen.”
Pursing her lips and feigning cockiness she didn’t truly feel, she folded her arms over her chest. “And why would I do that?”
“Because,” he said between puffs of his cigarette. “It’s about Jack.”
Her hands began to shake, and bile rose in her throat. “Your beef is with me … you leave him out of this.”
Buck laughed, the sound a rasping noise that grated her very soul. She could remember that laugh taunting her between insults—calling her a whore, promising to get what he wanted from her someday, haunting her dreams.
She fought the urge to puke with all her might, refusing to give him the satisfaction.
“I didn’t bring him into this,” he insisted. “You did … when you made your love for him clear in front of hundreds of Abaddon’s minions. That was the stupidest thing you coulda done.”
Dread twisted in her gut, and her blood ran cold. “He’s a Guardian like me, and he was in danger. I saved a fellow soldier … that’s all.”
Buck raised one eyebrow. “Some of your siblings died fighting Abaddon and his horde. I didn’t see you risking your life to save them. Abaddon saw it … why do you think he targeted the guy?”
Damn it. Apparently, demons gossiped just like humans did. With the entire underworld likely knowing that she was in love with Jack, what would that mean for their relationship?
“Jack can’t take you down … only the Seal can do that,” she reminded him. “I’m the Chosen One. Why would they make him a target when I’m the one dangerous to you and your followers?”
Rising to his feet, he came toward her. Despite being determined not to show him fear, she found herself backpedaling on instinct, moving away until her back met the kitchen counter.
“Because it amuses me to destroy everything you hold dear,” he snarled, coming so close she could smell him. “And the rest of them will want revenge for the demons you’ve destroyed.”
She gagged, closing her eyes and fighting not to succumb to panic. Addison could practically feel him on top of her, punching her, holding her down.
Reaching out, he grasped her face, squeezing tight enough to make her wince.
“Look at me!” he bellowed.
She opened her eyes, narrowing them at him before slapping his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”
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He laughed again, clouding her vision with a haze of smoke. “I don’t have to touch you to get to you. Jack Bennett, on the other hand … well, I think he and I are about to have a lot of fun.”
“You won’t touch him,” she blustered, squaring her shoulders. “I can protect him from you … I will protect him from you.”
Another puff of smoke filled her vision, causing her to cough and choke. “Game on, baby,” he mumbled. “Game on…”
She came awake with a violent jerk, sitting upright and inhaling sharply. Her lungs burned as if she’d literally stopped breathing, her throat constricting as hot tears splashed her face. A pair of hands held tight to her shoulders, sending her into a panic.
The room had been cast into darkness, adding to her disorientation. It was the middle of the day—surely, the sudden darkness could only mean one thing. Fighting against the hold, she screamed, desperation to get free, to fight for her life—for Jack’s life—gripping her.
“Addie, it’s me!” a familiar voice called out as the hands tightened and gave her a shake. “It’s Jack.”
A light flared to life nearby—a lamp, she realized. It illuminated his face, furrows of concern wrinkling his brow.
Fighting to catch her breath, she sagged against him, breathing a sigh of relief.
“Jack,” she whispered, inhaling his familiar scent and finding comfort in it.
He was here; he was alive. Nothing else had to matter at the moment.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, pulling her against him and wrapping his arms around her. “You had a nightmare … it’s over now.”
Realizing that he was holding her with two arms instead of one, she frowned. “You’re not wearing your sling.”
“Reniel is back,” he replied, reaching up to stroke her hair. “He heard about the fight with Abaddon and brought healers with him. He insisted I get fixed up in case there’s another attack.”
Resting a hand on the injured shoulder, she found all the swelling that had been there earlier gone.
“Good,” she murmured. “Why is it so dark all of a sudden? I only laid down and closed my eyes for a minute.”
Leaning back, he stared at her, his eyebrows pulling together. “Addie, it’s eight o’clock. You’ve been asleep for hours.”
Shaking her head, she glanced around, trying to get her bearings. Outside her window, night had started to come, with only a bit of orange lingering on the horizon as the sun began to disappear.
“But …” She shook her head again, her mind feeling as if it had been gripped by a heavy fog.
She was drained, even though, apparently, she’d slept for a solid six hours. The encounter with Buck—or rather, Eligos—had only seemed to take a minute. Yet, on the other side of her very realistic dream, time had moved past her far too fast.
Reaching up to touch Jack’s face, she sighed. “You’re okay.”
He nodded, the stubble growing along his jaw tickling her palm. “I’m okay.”
“I thought … I dreamed …”
“It wasn’t real,” he insisted, resting one of his hands over the one she had laid against his cheek. “Whatever you dreamed wasn’t true. Look at me … I’m right here.”
Yes, he was here. But for how long? How long before Eligos made good on his promise and sent his minions after Jack—or worse yet, decided to come for Jack himself?
He grasped both her hands and lifted her to her feet. “It’s over now, okay? Relax. Let me take care of you.”
Nodding, she clung to his hand as he led her into the bathroom connecting her room to his and Derek’s. Through the other door, she could see that the guys had finished unpacking, their things marking each side of the room as their own territory. She quickly identified Derek’s side by the fact that he’d claimed the old writing desk, stacking it with worn books. The room was empty, with Derek probably off exploring the house, but Jack closed and locked the door, anyway.
“Sit,” he said, his voice a firm command as he gestured toward a little cushioned bench resting in the corner of the bathroom.
She obeyed, still too numb from the shock of coming face to face with her stepfather again to do anything else. Crossing toward the large, old-fashioned tub resting on clawed feet in the center of the bathroom, Jack knelt beside it and turned on the water. Addison watched in silence as steam began wafting up from the tub, the sound of the rushing water filling the bathroom and echoing off the tiles.
Standing, he moved over to the long counter housing two sinks.
“Is this your stuff?” he asked, pointing at the bag resting between the sinks.
“Yes,” she replied.
He retrieved two bottles from the bag and returned the tub, opening one of them and pouring a healthy amount under the stream of water. Then, leaving the bottles resting on the floor, he came back toward her, offering her a hand. She let him help her to her feet, then stood still while he reached for the hem of her shirt.
It wasn’t until he began pulling the fabric away from her body that she realized she’d been sweating and that her clothes were hopelessly wrinkled from tossing and turning. Making quick work of undressing her, Jack took her hand again and led her to the tub, which was now full and brimming with fragrant bubbles. The scent of lavender mixed with vanilla was already going a long way toward relaxing her.
He turned the water off, then inclined his head toward the full tub. “Get in.”
She kept a tight grip on his hand as she stepped in, gasping as the heat of the water stung her skin a bit. But, as she released his hand and sank down, the tension in her muscles began to relax. With a satisfied sigh, she lay against the back of the tub, resting her head on the edge and closing her eyes.
“Not too hot?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, it’s just right.”
“You hungry?” he asked. “Micah put in a call to his Uncle Remy, and within two hours, we had enough fish and grits here to feed everyone, and then some. I’m sure there’s still some left.”
Fish and grits was one of her favorites, but she shook her head. “I don’t really have an appetite right now.”
The sound of something scraping the floor caught her attention, and when she opened her eyes, Jack was seated at the side of the tub on the little bench. Rolling up his sleeves, he rested one arm on the tub’s edge, letting his hand dip into the water. With the other hand, he smoothed stray strands of hair back from her face.
For a long while, he simply sat there and looked at her, his eyes conveying a combination of worry and affection. After a while, he spoke.
“Do you use this soap often?” he asked.
Frowning, she glanced down at the three bottles resting on the floor. It was a set of body wash, bubble bath, and shampoo—a collection of her preferred fragrance. “I never really thought about it, but I guess I do. It’s my favorite.”
He nodded and smiled. “I wondered what it was—the reason you always smell the way you do. It’s my favorite, too … because of you.”
Any other time, him saying something like that would have made her happy. But now, all she could think was that she was in danger of losing him, again. It didn’t seem fair, for her to find the love of her life, lose him, then get him back only to watch him slip away from her, yet again. It felt as if every time they found happiness, something happened to ruin it. How long would it last this time? From New York to Ethiopia, they’d had mere days before she’d had to watch him die.
Absently swirling his hand in the water, he leaned a bit closer. “Do you want to tell me about your dream?”
For a long moment, she couldn’t speak. What was she supposed to say to him? How could she make him understand that Eligos had basically put a hit out on him? Would he believe her? Would he try to convince her that it had only been a dream, and as such, could not be believed?
Closing her eyes, she turned her head away and took a deep breath. She knew what needed to be done, but the courage to do so escaped her.
It
’s for his own good, she told herself. His life is on the line.
And that was all there was to it. In a choice between Jack getting to live and Addison getting to be happy, she would choose his life.
“I don’t think we can be together anymore,” she whispered.
Her voice had been so low that for a moment, she feared he hadn’t heard her and she’d be forced to say it again. Surely, if Jack had heard her, he would try to convince her otherwise. It was what she expected from him.
“I see,” he replied after a long moment had passed. “You want to break up with me?”
Her throat seized, and tears stung her eyes. But, she kept her head turned, refusing to look at him. Looking at him would only make this harder.
“Yes,” she answered.
When he spoke again, his voice was so calm, so surprisingly gentle, that Addison didn’t think she would be able to keep her composure much longer.
“Can I ask why?”
“Because being with me will end you,” she said before she could lose her nerve. “All of Hell knows that I love you, and they …”
“They’ll hurt me to get to you,” he finished for her.
She nodded, but couldn’t force herself to answer out loud. If she spoke, she might start crying, and if she started crying, he would comfort her. If he comforted her, she couldn’t go through with this.
“What happened with Abaddon … he went after me because he could see we cared about each other. And now, you’re worried other demons will use that against us and either kill me, or torture me so bad, I’ll wish I were dead. Is that it?”
Nodding again, she sniffled, sinking a bit further into the water—which did nothing to ease the chill from inside her, despite its warmth.
