by Elise Marion
Thankfully, Reniel arrived just as she finished the last of her coffee, swooping down from the sky in his angelic form. He shrank as he slowed and approached the balcony, floating to drop onto two feet before her in his human body. The wide smile on his face proved infectious, and even though she felt hollow inside, she found herself smiling back.
“Good morning,” he said, approaching her with a spring in his step.
“Hey,” she replied. “You’re in a good mood.”
Turning to lean against the balcony rail, he met her gaze. “That’s because my audience with Father went extremely well.”
Addison lifted her eyebrows. “I didn’t realize you’d gone back to Heaven again. What’s going on?”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Reniel inclined his head. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you told me … about your brother.”
Ah, yes. That.
During a conversation with Reniel about how life might continue for them after the war with Eligos had blown over, Addison had mentioned her conversation with Drew. He hadn’t thought it was fair for so much to be asked of the Nephilim without anything being offered in return … and Addison agreed with him. She’d asked Reniel if something might be done about that, and he’d promised her an answer once he had one. It would seem the answer was here, much faster than she’d expected.
“Well?” she prodded.
“I’ve been given the authority by Father and Michael to bestow two hundred Guardianships upon the children of Eligos.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you serious? But, I thought Guardians were born, not made. Won’t this mess up the balance?”
Reniel shrugged. “Father is the Creator … He can make whatever He wants. Besides, if Eligos can populate the Earth with thousands of children, then more Guardians in the world will actually help to restore the balance. They, along with you, can become the beginning of a new breed of Guardian … half-dark, and half-light. I believe Father has seen the benefits of both sides in you, and now wishes to create more of it.”
Now, she truly did feel like smiling. She couldn’t wait to tell Drew about this. Addison would ensure that he got to be the first of Eligos’ children—besides her—to take the mark.
“Thank you, Reniel,” she murmured. “This is huge for them. A lot of them feel as if Heaven doesn’t care about them. Now they’ll feel equal to the Guardians and Oracles in the fight … they’ll truly belong now.”
“No, the credit belongs to you,” he insisted. “You were the first of your kind, and you taught us all a little something about the best of both worlds. And this is only the beginning. After we appoint the two hundred new Guardians, there might be the possibility for more. This is truly an exciting time for us.”
Glancing back out at the property stretching on for acres before her, she nodded. Even if she felt more alone than she ever had in her life, she couldn’t deny that there was something exciting about watching everything unfold. She might have lost Jack, but she’d gained a family—brothers and sisters who would live and fight beside her until this had all ended. It was better than nothing, and it was more than she’d ever had. For that, if nothing else, she was grateful.
“We should gather everyone and spread the news,” he said, breaking through her wandering thoughts.
“Yes, let’s do it now before everyone gets busy for the day,” she agreed. “I just need to get dressed. I’d rather not do this wearing pajamas.”
Reniel nodded. “Very well. I’ll gather everyone out front and wait for you downstairs.”
“Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll be quick.”
Entering the house through another balcony door—one leading in through a sitting room—he left her alone.
Turning away from the balcony, she entered her room and closed the door, making a beeline for her dresser. Opening her top drawer, she held her breath, steeling herself for the object she knew her hand would touch once she began digging around. Her eyes began to sting when she encountered it—the hard, black box wedged in the far-right corner of her underwear drawer. She almost always failed to ignore the box when opening the drawer, and now proved no exception. Pulling it out, she opened it, uncertain why she kept torturing herself this way. From inside, cushioned by velvet, the ring Jack had given her sparkled in the light coming from the window.
After she’d destroyed his memories, Addison had removed the ring from around her neck, replaced it in the box, and stashed it where no one would find it. Until she could figure out what to do with it, it would remain hidden. She wasn’t certain how long she could keep what she’d done a secret, but so far, forbidding her friends from talking to Jack about the breakup seemed to be doing the trick. And since he never brought it up either—for obvious reasons—things seemed perfectly smoothed over for now.
The night that Micah had discovered her crying on the front porch, he, Alice, Drew, and Derek had kept her company in one of the house’s living rooms. Harley and her crew had brought their televisions and sound systems from their old den, and now there was one in every living area. They’d rallied around her, keeping her busy with movies and conversation—helping to take her mind off her troubles.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she’d said when they asked what had gone down between her and Jack.
“Don’t bring it up to him,” she’d urged when Micah had threatened to beat the information out of Jack himself. “Leave him alone. Promise me … all of you.”
They’d all promised, and so far had held true to her word. Everyone in her inner circle avoided the topic of the breakup, and because Jack never remembered giving her the ring, he would continue to think it remained in New York with his father.
At some point, she’d have to tell at least a few people what she’d done, but as long as Jack never knew, she would be okay with that. It was all for his protection, after all.
Closing the box, she put the ring away and swore for what felt like the hundredth time that she wouldn’t bring it out again until she was ready to get it back to Jackson, Sr.
A flash of movement startled her, until she realized it was only Gabriel leaping up onto the dresser. She watched as he walked across the surface before pausing to sit in front of her, right next to the urn containing her mother’s ashes and the yellow flower Reniel had brought her from Heaven. The beautiful blossom sat in a glass cup she’d taken from the kitchen, and seemed to be immortal. It didn’t need water and had yet to wilt or lose its stunning color.
“At least I’ve still got you, right, Gabriel?” she whispered, reaching out to stroke his fur.
He purred, standing to arch his back and mewling as if in agreement.
“You’re all the man I’ll ever need, handsome,” she murmured, giving him another stroke before picking him up and placing him on the floor. After rubbing against her ankle, he took off across the room and jumped up onto the bed, curling up for one of his epic naps.
Gathering the items she needed from the dresser, she quickly dressed and headed for the bathroom, finding it blessedly empty.
Every now and then, she found Jack inside, shaving, brushing his teeth, cleaning. And each time, he gave her a smile—a friendly one missing all the affection she’d grown used to—and said hello. Sometimes, he made small talk, and other times, he asked how she was doing. He never looked at her with that steely intensity that had always set her blood on fire. He never touched her. He never told her he loved her.
It was an odd feeling, being grateful he wasn’t there, but missing his presence all the same. Anytime he was in the room with her, she drank him in—the sight of him, the smell of him, his voice. All of it tortured her, as much as it soothed her battered soul. She craved him, even while she kept her distance, reminding herself each day that she’d given him up for a reason.
That reason would keep her going. It would push her forward until she had ended this thing once and for all, ensuring that every demon ever involved in this war was destroyed. With nothing but time to kill and a black
hole where her heart used to be, they didn’t want to see her coming.
Epilogue: The Best Thing I Never Had
Darkness shrouded the room, with only the soft glow of moonlight filtering through the windows offering relief. He could barely see the woman lying naked on top of him, but then, he didn’t need to. Jack could feel her, every soft, supple inch pressed up against him, and then around him as she sank onto his rigid erection. She shuddered in his arms, her grip on his shoulders tightening as she began to move, her hips undulating in a rhythm that stirred the intense desire simmering in his groin to nearly unbearable limits.
Everything about this felt right. The feel of her against him, like one piece of a puzzle fitting against another. The movements of her body in tandem with his—as if she knew what he liked, what he wanted. The scent of her permeating his senses and heightening his awareness of her—a soothing blend of lavender and vanilla.
The sound of her voice as she threw her head back and moaned her pleasure, her lips parting to utter his name.
“Jack.”
She said his name as if he was the only man in the world, as if nothing had ever felt as good or as perfect as him buried deep inside of her.
It made him feel ten feet tall.
Jack held on to her tighter, quickening the upward movement of his hips as he recognized the signs of her approaching climax. Then, she was falling apart in his hands, trembling and crying his name, her insides clenching around him, pulsating with a force that saw him hurtling over the edge.
Reaching up to stroke her hair, he tightened his fist around the strands and tilted her head back, eyes seeking out her face in the darkness. A sliver of moonlight illuminated her—eyes closed, lips parted as she fought to catch her breath, the slope of her jaw angled at just the right angle, her slender neck begging for his kiss.
Strands of vibrant red hair brushing her shoulders.
Suddenly, she opened her eyes, piercing him with a gaze like melted gold…
Jack came awake with a violent jerk, sitting upright in his bed as he hurtled out of his dreams and into reality. The darkness persisted, but with the curtains shut to blot out the moonlight. He was alone, in a bed much smaller than the one he’d been dreaming about. The one in which he made love to the one woman he shouldn’t.
Leaving the bed, he moved as quickly and silently as he could, aware of his roommate sleeping on the other side of the room. Most nights, the glow of a book light or his laptop told Jack that Derek wasn’t asleep. But, he supposed after days of restlessness, sheer exhaustion had taken the guy down. Just now, he slept like the dead.
Ducking into the bathroom, he locked the door, then crossed to the one leading into Addison’s bedroom. As he turned the lock, he paused with his hand still on the knob, wondering if she slept. Most likely, she slept as soundly as Derek, oblivious to the guy on the other side of her bathroom having erotic dreams about her.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he grumbled, gripping the edge of the counter and confronting his reflection in the mirror.
His mouth was pinched at the corners, dark circles showing beneath his eyes. Sweat caused his T-shirt to cling to his chest, and every muscle from shoulders to toes had tensed, his insides twisted and coiled like a spring.
This was at least the sixth dream he’d had about Addison Monroe—completely inappropriate fantasies that contained entirely too much detail for him to shrug off after awakening.
She wasn’t the first woman he’d had sexual dreams about, but she was the first to haunt him so often and for so long. What was it about her that got under his skin? He barely knew her, and had certainly never done the thing with her that he’d dreamed about.
Then how could his mind convince him so thoroughly that he knew what made her quiver and moan, what made her beg and plead? How did he wake up night after night with her scent in his nostrils, imprinted like a memory he’d never truly experienced?
Tearing the damp shirt off over his head, he grimaced, glancing down to find a raging erection tenting his sweatpants. He was hard as stone, and the insistent throbbing told him it wasn’t going away. Cutting his eyes at the closed door of his room, he wondered how the mere thought of a woman he’d never even kissed could get him so cranked up.
Shaking his head, he turned to the shower, opening the glass door and turning the water down as cold as it would get. Since he couldn’t stop thinking about her—and his thoughts of her seemed to send all the blood straight to his groin—he was going to have to shock the stiff organ into submission. The alternative was tearing the bathroom door off its hinges, marching into her bedroom and …
And what, exactly?
Addison was likely oblivious to the lust that seemed to heat his blood every time she walked past him, sending that scent of hers swirling up his nostrils.
Oh, who was he kidding? Thinking about her for more than two seconds did the trick well enough.
Dropping his pants and stepping into the shower, he bit back a curse as the frigid water pelted him. Gritting his teeth, he braced his hands against the wall tiles and closed his eyes, forcing himself to endure the pain of icy water sluicing over his flaming-hot skin. Tremors began to wrack him, but he stood his ground, drawing in deep breaths as the cold water worked its magic, sending the blood rushing away from his groin and out into the rest of his body. He stood there until he was certain it wouldn’t make a surprise comeback the second he stepped out of the shower.
This couldn’t go on. As he dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist, he told himself that he had to shake this off. Addison was a complication he didn’t want—being both the ring-bearer and the woman his partner so obviously wanted.
Besides that, there was Leah, whom he genuinely liked. They’d been on two more dates since their dinner the night they’d met. Jack found her a joy to be around—funny, smart, and interested in just about everything he liked. He couldn’t have done better if he’d tried, and even though they had yet to cross the line into a sexual relationship, the attraction was definitely there.
Why, then, were his dreams filled with fantasies about Addison instead of Leah?
It just didn’t make sense.
Tiptoeing quietly into the bedroom, he rifled through his drawers for his workout clothes. Quickly glancing at his cell phone, he realized that it was nearing five a.m. There was no use bothering to attempt sleep again.
A good, long run would clear his head. He made quick work of dressing and sliding into his running shoes. Then, locating his earbuds, he fired up his favorite playlist and left the room, determined to outrun thoughts he knew he shouldn’t be having.
Not that he could exactly control what popped into his mind at any given moment. But, what he could do was shift his focus and refuse to dwell on them. So, that was what he would do.
Once his feet touched the dirt path leading away from Monroe House, he broke into a jog, his stride matching the pounding rap cadence.
For a while, he outran it all—the weight of responsibility, the guilt of wanting something, or rather someone, he shouldn’t. And he just ran. He ran until the sun broken free of the horizon, and then he turned back, letting the orange rays chase him back home.
When he arrived back on the dusty path, he found Reniel seated on the front porch steps, cell phone pressed to his ear.
Jack came to a stop, clasping his hands behind his head and pacing back and forth to catch his breath. Reniel glanced up at him as he ended his call, then came to his feet, hands shoved into his pockets.
“What’s up, Ren?” he asked, snatching his earbuds free.
The angel’s brow was wrinkled, and he wore an expression Jack knew well. Something bad had happened—it was up to Reniel to help fix it, and he was worried.
“Nothing that can’t be handled with the help of a Guardian,” Reniel said with a shrug. “But with everyone pitching in to prepare to fight Eligos, I’m not sure who to trust with it.”
His breathing finally returned to normal, Ja
ck sank down onto the bottom step, resting his elbows on the one behind him.
“An assignment?” he asked. “What’s involved?”
“Assisting an FBI agent in disbanding a human trafficking ring,” Reniel stated. “We wouldn’t normally involve ourselves, but the head of the ring is a Naphil, and many of his followers are demon-possessed.”
“Where?” he prodded, his curiosity piqued.
“There could be some travel involved, but the agent is coming to New Orleans, as many of the Naphil’s associates are based here,” Reniel said. “Are you interested?”
Jack shrugged, feigning nonchalance. In truth, he saw this as just the escape he needed. A mission that didn’t involve Addison—something to get him away from the situation for a short time. Maybe it would be enough of a distraction to help him purge his fixation once and for all.
“How hard could it be?” he mused. “After all we’ve been through these past months, some demons peddling girls sounds like a walk in the park.”
Reniel gave him a little smile. “I like the idea of having one of our more experienced Guardians on this. And with Addison now surrounded by her siblings, she’s got all the protection she’ll need. I’m sure we can spare you for a few weeks. I think you would be a valuable asset to Special Agent Garcia.”
As Jack listened to Reniel describe the specifics of this side mission, he experienced no end of relief. This would be a nice diversion, and he would come back ready to join the others in fighting Eligos and end this mission for good. Then, he was going to live the life he’d begun planning for himself the moment he returned from Purgatory. A life that would not—could not—include Addison Monroe.
He couldn’t allow it to happen any other way.
Alternate Chapter
Were you rooting for Micah in the battle for Addison’s heart? Did you wish for more of their scorching chemistry from book 2? Do you wonder how things might have gone if she had chosen him instead of Jack?
