Jelisa remained quiet.
“I honestly don’t know what came over me. I wish I could explain it, but I promise it won’t happen again.”
Jelisa rolled her eyes and took a sip of her tea. “Shamar, you can’t promise that. You didn’t even know you were capable of doing that to me. What happened to you over there that has scarred you so much? You are a completely different person, Shamar, and I’m scared. How do I know you won’t wake up one day and hurt me again? Worse yet, hurt Mya.”
Shamar bowed his head in shame. He had heard about this happening to the white boys he served with but never a brother. Being from the hood and seeing the things he’d seen coming up, it never crossed his mind that it could be him. He knew what it was, but his pride wouldn’t let him admit that he was that weak-minded. “Jelisa, can we talk about this another time?” Shamar asked, attempting to dismiss her line of questions.
“No, we can’t, Shamar. We’re going to deal with this right now. I went online and saw that there’s something called PTSD. I think you need to talk to somebody.”
Shamar could have sworn she was reading his mind when she said that. “Babe, don’t do this. I’m not crazy. I don’t need no shrink to tell me how I’m feeling. I told you I’m good. Can we not do this right now? I just want to make sure you’re okay. I just need to get used to being back. It’s all foreign to me, that’s all. I’ll be okay, I promise.”
Rubbing her throat, Jelisa gave Shamar a dissatisfied look. “I hear you, Shamar. At least go talk to my dad because this here, you acting like you can’t talk to me, is not going to work. I’m gonna need you to handle that today, and I am so serious.” Jelisa got up and went to go shower, leaving Shamar to consider her warning.
He knew she was serious and it would mean that the next two weeks were not going to be good at all. He didn’t mind talking with Pete; he, of all people, would understand, having gone to Vietnam and come back to deal with stubborn women like Jelisa.
After getting himself together for the day, Shamar called Kaduwey to go and pick up something to drive while he was in town. It didn’t feel quite like home without his own set of wheels to push around. Around noon, Kaduwey came through to pick Shamar up; you could hear the thunder of his speakers from two blocks away.
Like clockwork, Shamar walked outside just as he was pulling up. “Ay, what’s good, my dude?” Kaduwey greeted Shamar with smoke coming from his nose and mouth.
“What’s good with it, folk? Bruh, it ain’t even one o’clock yet and you blowing purp already? You better hope they don’t piss me when I get back ’cause I’m gonna pop up hot just off contact, messing with you.”
Kaduwey grinned with his fourteen-karat smile and his eyes barely open. “I’m good, G; you know me. Hell, you look like you need a blunt or two. You wanna hit this? What happened to you?” he questioned. It wasn’t hard to read Shamar. You could fit a week’s worth of luggage in the bags under his eyes.
“Hey, I don’t know what’s going on with me, man. I spazzed out on Jelisa last night, and I swear I can’t remember none of it.”
Kaduwey was confused; he had never known Shamar to put his hands on any female. He had too much self-control for that, so he knew something had to be wrong. “Man, that ain’t even you.”
As they navigated through traffic, they ended up on Walker at one of Kaduwey’s traps. He put the SUV in park and turned the music down to revisit the topic. Looking over at Shamar, he took one last pull from what was left of the blunt he was smoking and addressed him with sincerity. “Ay, folk, I’ma tell you this, real talk: don’t let that war change you, homie. You got a family to look out for. So, whatever you saw over there, don’t let it mess with your head. I can’t say I know how it feels, but you remember when we put that work in back in the day. I had nightmares about it. Hell, it screwed with my head, dawg. Now I’m looking over my shoulders every five minutes, and I stay high to calm my nerves.”
What Kaduwey was saying must have been getting to Shamar because tears began dancing at the rims of his eyelids. Kaduwey noticed him wipe away a tear and he tapped him on his arm with the back of his hand. “Bruh, what you see over there? I ain’t never seen you shed tears unless it involved somebody dying. What happened?”
Chapter Ten
Back to business
After walking and talking for a while Block and Bria ended up back at the park where Toya was just pulling up. It had done Block some good having the opportunity to catch up with Bria; he was starting to feel at home. Not wanting to interrupt, Toya chose to stay in the car to wait for him to finish up. She smiled and kindly waved at Bria through the windshield.
“Well, shawty, I have to say it was real good seeing you. Seriously, I haven’t seen a smile as bright as yours in a minute and this really made my day. I’m glad to be home. We should get together later on. Feel me?” Block said, taking her hand into his.
“Yeah, that would be nice, and it was good seeing you again. I really missed you all these years, so we definitely need to catch up,” she said seductively. Surprisingly, Block didn’t pick up on the fact that she was hitting on him. “Well, here, take my number real quick.”
Block was dumbfounded; he didn’t have a cell phone nor did he have anything to write with. “Hold on for a minute,” he said, slightly jogging over to Toya’s car to get paper and a pen. After getting her number, Block bid Bria farewell. “All right, sweetheart. I’m definitely going to holla at you later, all right? Take care now,” he said, giving her a warm hug and hesitating for a minute before letting go.
When Block got back into the car, Toya was all jokes. “I’m saying, Block, you ain’t waste no time, did you? Get it, boy,” Toya teased. “Anyway, we need to get you right before you go see the family. I can’t have you coming home looking like this,” she said, pointing at his clothes.
“For real, Toya, that’s how you gonna play me? What’s wrong with how I look? This is me now,” Block answered, slightly offended.
As they pulled off, Toya headed toward the east side’s Potowatomi Park area. This unincorporated part of town used to be exclusively whites only. Any black family who even ventured to build or buy within its city limits was burned or bullied out. That was, until Block’s grandfather came into the picture. After being refused the opportunity to buy his first home there, he was determined to make life hell for every white family living there. After the settlement, empowered by millions of dollars and a highly paid attorney, Grandpa Roland bought up five properties. The Foster family name became solidified from that point on as a force to be reckoned with.
As they turned into the subdivision where the family’s properties were located, Block was overcome with amazement at how much things had changed since he’d been gone. He was also feeling anxious as he had never been this far into Potowatomi before. The last he’d heard they were still trying to chase black folk out. The Foster family owned an entire cul-de-sac, and the first house Toya stopped at was immaculate. It was a three-story tan brick house the size of a mini-mansion, with five bedrooms and three baths, and a full basement with a large glass door that opened to a huge backyard.
“What we doing here, Toya? I thought you was taking me to get my gear straight. Whose house is this?” Block inquired, wondering what his sister was up to. He hated surprises; and, after Toya had gotten on him about his appearance, he hoped this wasn’t some get-together she was bringing him to.
“Come on, boy,” Toya said, turning the car off and unbuckling her seat belt.
“I don’t know, Toya. You know they don’t like black folk out here. I ain’t trying to have the Klan after me my first day out,” Block commented, only partially joking.
As the two of them stood in the middle of the street, Block looked around, surveying and admiring the architecture. “So what’s up, sis? Don’t leave me in suspense. This supposed to be some kind of joke or something?” he asked.
“Naw, bro, this is you,” Toya replied.
Block’s face had confusion wri
tten all over it. “What you mean this me? Do you see where we at? I’m not trying to buy nothing out here.”
Toya smiled and pulled out a set of house keys from her Coach wristlet. As she dangled the keys in his face, she said proudly, “Baby brother, a lot has changed since you left. We run this city. I told you we’re in business and there’s nobody who can stop us ’cause everything is legal, bro.” Toya was getting excited the more detail she gave Block. “Go on and check it out,” she said, pointing to the front door of the house.
“Man, sis, you really know how to make a statement. Let’s see what we have here,” Block said, turning the key and opening the door.
As they walked into the elegant mini-mansion, Block’s eyes grew as big as gold balls as he stood in amazement. After all that time behind those walls, this was the last thing he imagined he would come home to. The house was fully furnished with custom wood furniture. The floors were marble, and a huge family portrait was on the wall in the great room.
“So what do you think, baby bro? Ain’t this a sight to come home to? One thing, though, you’re gonna have to lose those Dickies and wife beaters. That’s not the image we’re portraying in this family. So go check in the master bedroom closet. I’m pretty sure I got the sizes right,” Toya said as she led Block down the hallway.
He stopped in his tracks and stared at the wall behind Toya and commented, “I don’t know about all that, Toya. That suit life ain’t me, you know what I’m saying?”
“Boy, what you mean you ain’t about that life? You ain’t no gangsta. That ain’t in your blood. You better go on somewhere with that,” Toya said sternly.
If there was one thing Block knew it was that he wasn’t a different man from when he first went in. Apparently, his big sis had no clue of the kind of person he had to become in order to survive in prison for fifteen years. Those years locked down hardened his heart, and although he’d never make it known to his family, he was indeed a gangsta. Not wanting to open himself up for a deep discussion Block held his tongue and simply answered, “I feel you, sis, but you have no idea; but, since you held me down and you seem to have things in order, I’ll roll with it for now.”
Toya smiled and nodded, saying, “All right then. Go ahead and get yourself cleaned up and let’s go make some moves. As a matter of fact, take your time. I’m sure there are some things you need to take care of first. I don’t want to overwhelm you. Look on the dresser in the room. There’s a cell phone and car keys. When you’re ready, meet me at my condo. Here’s my address.” She grabbed a pen and pad off a nearby table and wrote down her address.
“All right then, sis, I got you. Look, I appreciate all of this; and, you’re right, I do need to handle a few things before I get bogged down by everybody. Give me a hug. I’ll hit you up in a few. Love you,” Block said.
They embraced, and he walked her out to her car. “I love you, bro. Now go get yourself together. I got something else planned for you tonight. Call me,” she said before she got into her car and drove off.
Chapter Eleven
Jelisa called Shawnie to come over and help her figure out what to do after the incident with Shamar. She hadn’t been able to go outside all day. She needed to understand how he was capable of hurting her that way, especially considering the years of her life that she’d invested with him. After all of the fistfights and shootouts, the late nights waiting up wondering if he would be coming home or if she would get that godforsaken call, those things now paled in comparison to the pain she felt. Things would never be the same again.
A knock on the door came just as Jelisa passed by it. “Who is it?” she called out, thinking that if it was Shawnie, she should have been using the key she’d given her.
Just as she reached for the lock, her cell phone rang. It was her mother calling. “Hello? Hey, Mama,” she said, opening the door. She froze at the sight before her, dropping the phone on the floor.
In the doorway stood a six foot three inch dark-skinned man with a scar on the left side of his face. He had long dreads pouring from under a Kangol hat. The man stood there with a smirk on his face, flashing pearly white teeth with a single gold tooth. His dark eyes pierced through her as she remained stunned and silent, unable to move.
“Well, I see you’ve grown up to be quite a lovely lady.” The dark visitor spoke with a raspy voice that made her shudder.
“What are you doing here and how the hell did you find me?” Jelisa snapped, finally recovering from the shock.
“Well, that’s not nice, young lady. You going to invite me in or am I going to have to stand out here in this cold?”
Jelisa’s hands starting shaking and rage began to fill every inch of her body. “Reggie, you have a lot of nerve coming here!” she asserted, pointing her finger in his face. “No, the hell you’re not welcome in my house; and, yes, the hell you are going to stand out there in the freezing cold. I don’t want you anywhere near me, ever!” Jelisa was furious. The thought of the man who raped her and literally destroyed her life having the audacity to show up at her door had her beside herself. The last she’d heard, Reggie was in New York somewhere on the run from the feds after a botched bank robbery.
“All right, all right, sweetheart, don’t get your panties in a bunch. Old Reggie just wanted to come by and say hi to an old friend, that’s all. No need to get all worked up. You act like you don’t remember me.”
Right then, it all began to make sense. When he spoke those words, Jelisa remembered the strange phone calls she had received months ago. It had been Reggie calling her the whole time. Jelisa’s anger turned to anxiety, and his impromptu visit had lasted long enough. “Reggie, I don’t have anything to say to you. We don’t have any business. There is nothing to talk about. You need to get the hell off my stoop right now and never come here again. You hear me? And I know that was you calling me, too. I swear to God if you ever—”
Reggie took a step closer, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence. “Hey now, baby girl, calm your pretty little self down. I’ll be on my way. We’ll see each other again real soon.” Reggie turned and walked away before she could respond. He jumped into a black Cadillac and sped away.
Jelisa slammed the door and went and poured herself a drink. Moments later, there was another knock at the door, along with the sound of keys jiggling. She looked nervously at the front door, unsure if Reggie had returned or if Shawnie had finally shown up. The doorknob turned, and the door flew open, blown by the wind, followed by the tapping of little footsteps. Mya ran in, jumping into Jelisa’s arms as Shawnie struggled to get her keys out of the door.
“Hey, girl, what’s up? Sorry I’m late, but those fools out there cannot drive,” Shawnie joked.
Jelisa found nothing funny. She stood with her hand on her hip, rolling her eyes.
“What?” Shawnie asked, slightly bothered by Jelisa’s stance.
“For real, Shawnie? You could have called or something.”
Shawnie snapped back, “First of all, who are you talking to? You better take some of that bass out of your voice, goofy. Second of all, I did call you from Mama’s phone, and you hung up on me. Anyways, what’s wrong with you?”
Jelisa took the rest of the glass of vodka she was drinking to the head and sent Mya to her room to watch TV. “Girl, I’m sorry. I’m stressing right now. Come in the living room. We have to talk. So, first, you know Shamar and I left Mama’s house last night so we could spend some time alone, right?”
Shawnie grinned. “Yeah, don’t I know it? I see he helped you sweat that wrap out.”
Jelisa gave a partial smile, still feeling uncomfortable about the situation. “Whatever. Anyway, so after he put it on me, we fell asleep on the couch. The next thing I know, I’m lying on top of him, trying to wake him up, and he freaks out on me. Girl, this fool blacked out and choked the mess out of me. I had to smash a liquor bottle on his head to make him snap out of it.”
“Are you serious? That’s crazy,” Shawnie said in disbel
ief. She would never put it past Shamar but never in a million years would she have expected him to put his hands on her sister. “So what happened after that? Where is he now?”
“Girl, I don’t know. He probably running around somewhere with Kaduwey. Honestly, I don’t even care right now. Anyway, that’s only half of what happened. You ain’t going to believe this. Tell me why this bastard Reggie just popped up at my door.”
Shawnie was puzzled. “Reggie? Reggie who? Mama’s ex-boyfriend Reggie?”
“Girl, yes. This is some straight Fly Betty type drama. I can’t believe he had the nerve to come to my house, of all places, after what he did to me. Shawnie, I wanted to kill him right there on my stoop.”
Shawnie lowered and shook her head. “What did he say? After all this time, why would he come here?”
“Shawnie, I have no idea; but I made it perfectly clear that I never wanted to see him again. I’ve got way too much going on right now. This mess with Shamar is killing me. I think he saw something over there that he doesn’t want to tell me about and it’s messing with his head. Whatever it is, I don’t like it, and it scares me. He scares me.”
“Well, sis, I know it can’t be easy for either of you to go through a deployment. Did you tell him to talk to Daddy? You know they get along. Maybe he can help Shamar figure out how to deal with whatever it is because, as sure as he is a man, his pride is not going to let him get professional help.”
It always helped Jelisa when she talked to Shawnie. No matter what it was, she had either gone through it or she knew someone who did. Either way, she always had the right words. “Yeah, I told him that it was a deal breaker if he didn’t. I need to know that my baby is okay. I can’t stand to see him like this. I almost lost him to these streets. Shawnie, I don’t want to lose him to this war, no matter if it’s in Iraq or just in his mind.”
“Yeah, I know, but y’all are meant to be together. Both of you have gone through enough individually that you can get through this together; you just have to be there for each other. It’ll be okay.”
Army of One Page 12
